₦airaland Forum

SyrusdeHansome:
U

Messi is the most overrated player I've ever seen.

Most overrated animal has spoken

IyaTola:
What you're describing is difficult because the change was so sudden and doesn't seem to match the relationship you experienced for a year and a half.

Based on what you've shared, a few things stand out:

She didn't slowly drift away; she made a clear request: "leave me alone."

She hasn't given you an explanation, even after you've repeatedly asked.

You haven't described a major fight, betrayal, or ongoing conflict that would obviously explain the change.

Her behavior before this was consistent, invested, and affectionate.

The hard reality is that when someone asks for space or asks you to leave them alone, you generally have to respect that, even when you don't understand why.

That doesn't mean her reasons are necessarily bad. There could be many possibilities:

She may have gone through a personal issue she doesn't want to discuss.

Her feelings may have changed.

Family pressures or future plans may have influenced her.

She may have become unhappy about something she never communicated.

She may have met someone else.

She may have felt overwhelmed and decided to withdraw.

The truth is that you don't know, and right now neither of us can know.

What I would not recommend is spending months chasing answers from someone who has already asked for distance. That often leads to more frustration and less self-respect.

A balanced approach would be:

1. Send one final calm message (if you haven't already). Something like: "I respect your decision and will give you the space you've asked for. I care about you and wish you well. If there's ever something you'd like to explain or discuss in the future, I'm open to listening."

2. Stop pursuing her after that. No repeated messages, no pressure, no trying to force a conversation.


3. Give yourself a timeline. For example, tell yourself: "I'm moving forward with my life. If she chooses to reach out later, I'll decide then whether I want to continue."


Notice the difference between waiting and being open.

Waiting means putting your life on hold for someone who may never return.

Being open means continuing with your life while accepting that she may contact you someday.

One other thing caught my attention: you mentioned getting angry when she missed appointments. If those incidents happened often or were more intense than you realize, it's possible they affected her more than she expressed. Some calm and conflict-avoidant people don't argue; they quietly absorb frustrations until they eventually withdraw. I'm not saying that's what happened, only that it's worth honestly reflecting on.

My answer to your question is:

Don't keep hoping indefinitely for answers. Respect her request, send one respectful closing message if necessary, and start moving forward. If she genuinely values the relationship and wants to explain, she knows how to reach you.

I'm curious about one detail: when she told you to leave her alone, was it a cold, angry message, or was it more like a polite but firm request? The tone can reveal quite a lot about what may be happening.

You are smart and a very good relationship expert. 👍

akpumping7720:
Who be the werey wey go sign this Delay? Anytime I see him, I just have this belief that Chelsea is automatically playing short one.

He is worst than short 1

ekehopp2:
Congrats, how has the job been these 10 months?

Been smooth so far...thanks for asking

Arkmanbuddy:
Why go on with the relationship with the person when you know you guys aren't compatible? Why wait till she gets pregnant?

The essence of relationship is to know more about each other and to find out if both of you are compatible. Sometimes, while in the process the lady decides to play a fast one by becoming pregnant, thinking that it would hook the man. Now, you may ask, why didn't the man use condom? A woman that wants to hook will refuse condom telling you not to worry, that everything is in control.

Lemme tell you the truth, If you both ain't compatible, and you force it, there will be no happiness in the union. Fact!

steno1:
.Wow. nice one bro.. was that your first job? Please how did you do it? Will like to have your personal contact pls

Yeah! And performing excellently well.

Got the job via linkedin. I have been very close multiple times, but this time, God said it's my time.

By Gods grace, it didn't take much effort to earn the confidence of my employers. Good thing is that logic has never been an issue for me. So most of the logic based problem, I scale them quick enough

Sonicroyel:
Ukwu werenti!!!

Baddest

TastyFriedPussy:
I'd like to seek some piece of advice from you.. Please I'll really appreciate if you would take your time to answer me..

I'm currently, 21 next year I'll be 22 and would be going to uni for CS..
I'll love to go into full stack web development (from front end to back end)and also some competitive programming (even though I won't be competing with anyone or anywhere, just to sharpen my programming skills)..

How would you advise me to go about this, I'm seriously confused because I don't know where to start from or which to start with ... And I'll also love to learn one OOP language(preferably C++) for solving DSA or CP related questions.. I just don't know how to put this into some sort of path way to follow.

I'm not going into coding for money so I don't care how long it would take me before I start getting the dividends..

So please how would you advise me to go about it.. Focus on web development first or CP..

Wow! Na wa.... Na real wa

My salary came yesterday and immediately I received alert, I rushed to my husband and asked him how much he needs me to contribute after informing him that my salary has been paid.

Oga thought I was joking and mentioned a figure thinking I was going to contest because it was almost all my salary, I just carried my phone and transferred it to him.

It was doing him like film, I then went ahead to pay the salary of our children's lesson teacher so that he would stop thinking about it.

That's when I realized that he was doing so much without complaining He sees it like his duty and even when the financial burden is too much, he struggles to pay without asking me.

He was so surprised and happy, I know that my money is just a fraction of what he brings but he felt like I gave him millions.

I then told him that I am putting in the effort to make more money so that I can still reduce his stress. He didn't marry a responsibility, he married an helper and he should be feeling more relaxed than when he was single.

I have never felt entitled to anybody's pocket and I won't do that with my husband.

Omo, oga went to the market without even telling me, stocked up the home.

Cooked and served me o, this small support has gone a long way to settle silent quarrels that I didn't even know about.

I will keep working harder and doing my best, men also need support, they are not supermarket. Men needs our support too

Written by a virtuous woman!

Source: https://nigerian1.quora.com/ThrowBack-My-salary-came-yesterday-and-immediately-I-received-alert-I-rushed-to-my-husband-and-asked-him-how-much-he?ch=18&oid=105618898&share=ef8d8899&srid=DjTq4&target_type=post

airsaylongcome:
Interesting. Like I said, it's not a platform that regularly advertises vacancies. But I've found out that a lot of small business owners are on many communities related to their businesses there. They may post a question about a problem that they are having there. Just being active, participating in the conversations and suggesting possible solutions gives you visibility to these owners. Most of the time when they have an opening, they just ask on the community and if you have been active, they are often open to offering the roles. I've turned down almost 4 roles from there (in my field) because the work hours clashed with my current role (I don't joke with my current role because of the level of flexibility they give)

Upwork too has been somehow good with me.

Please, what's your stack ?

I see Manchester United sacking Erik Ten Tag.
I see Erik Ten Hang not finishing the 2023/2024 season with Manchester United.

gasparpisciotta:
Marriage is overrated and most people marry the wrong person but manage themselves till they depart either by death or other reasons

1. Never marry a girl out of pity
2. Never marry a woman who does not respect you
3. Never marry a girl you cannot control
4. Never marry a girl who threatens you
5. Never marry a lady who can illegally cohabit with the opposite sex without conscience
6. Don’t ever show your weakness to a woman
7. Don’t marry a lazy girl
8. If you cannot teach, mold, recreate and positively influence her, please let go

Plenty wisdom here!!!

Learning programming.
Got frustrated at a point but I am smiling now.

KillingJoke:
Because it's very secure

It's like arch merged with tail os on steroids


Bare metal

Wow....I admire your level of knowings. Dating/marrying somebody like you will be a huge accomplishment. Just that competition too dey much for people like you. Guys don't joke with ladies that are intelligent

steno1:
your portfolio site is very nice. Good job. But I would personally preferred lighter background with darker text. Also some of your projects look like the are static pages and you still have lorem Ipsum in some. Another thing is this, I may be wrong, but some of your works look like some projects in Udemy. Like Natour, Trillo. I think I have come across such project, by a CSS guy. He was teaching CSS. My advice is to try and change the name of the project, and change one or two things so that, by mere hearing the name or looking at it, the person won't noticed if it was a tutorial. Nice one. Am also a self taught, looking to break through in getting a job, but I don't know where to start. My portfolio was rubbished here. So I removed all my css and currently building a new one. Here is my WhatsApp 08142534211. Pls let align

You are correct with the static sites for Trillo and Natour. They are just there to add numbers. I have no intention of changing the names except removing them entirely in the near future.
The hosting of one of my strong projects just got expired, so I had to remove it. I also had to remove some of my works I used to host on heroku when heroku was free. This greatly reduced the amount of project on my portfolio so I had no choice than to increase the numbers with them.

Infact, 2 of the projects there are job test projects, I had no choice but to add them to increase numbers. I have one e-commerce project I was working on with next Js, it's working perfectly fine on my machine but misbehaves with dynamic call to single products, I believe the free vercel hosting is the fault cos I have no issue when I next build it on my development server. I implemented NextAuth in that project. Very sweet on my machine but misbehaves on free vercel hosting. I had to also remove and discontinue the project.

At the end of the day, the question is, can you do the job? I can do more than you see on my portfolio.

TastyFriedPussy:
When you think you have seen the worst and ugliest looking website an acclaimed nairaland web dev can design in the name of a porfolio website, fiam, an even greater nonentity will pop up. Shebi if them ask this one now, he will say he is a web dev. Later him go they shout "bring me all your web development jobs, bring me jobs". with this rubbish wey him dey design. OP let me just tell you the truth, that your website na nonsense. Better go and look for a hard skill to learn like barbing or shoe making, you will not go far in this web dev path with this calamity you call website. Don't listen to all those fools above like that Greatigbowoman prasing you for this nonsense you designed, they are just trying to make you feel good, they don't like saying the truth but me, i go talk am as e dey hot. You designed nonsense, if i see better thing, i go talk say na better thing. This your work na pure bull sh*t

My bullshit portfolio finally got me a job oo. What do you think happened?

Pclemenza:
What did you use in building the page?

HTML, CSS. …
Please list all out. Thank you

It's a simple one.
React typescript, sass CSS, node express, MongoDb to collect visitors count, AOS, Nodemailer for email messaging. Deployed the simple backend with AWS lambda and the frontend on AWS amplify.

Djamel:
how did you get the work experience?

what are the tasks you perform in this new web developer job?

I have once written a complete Ponzi application from frontend to backend. Yeah. I gave a UI/UX designer to do the design but I built the app from start to finish, hosted it on AWS elastic beanstalk. The hosting just expired last month else I would have posted the URL here. While learning, I watched a very impacting MERN stack course. After finishing the course. I started all over again to build the application myself from start to finish and even incorporated many other features not in the first one. I have had many job test invites that has to do with building out what is existent in a figma file. Many of those jobs, I didn't get them but I make sure I build those things to completion. Those stuff made my hand very strong.

As it is, I hardly have any issue implementing JavaScript or CSS functionalities. So designing and translating design mockups and wireframes into functional and interactive web from a figma or other design tool is an easy deal for me.

In my present company, which is a start up, there is a Figma file I am working on along with another frontend guy. I met the guy there. So far, I have helped the guy implement 3 functionalities that he pended as a result of not being able to implement.

BeLookingIDIOT:
Didn't they need work experience

I have work experience, perhaps not in a standard setting. I have been implementing my task so far without complain. In fact, I have more than earned their confidence.

Djamel:
Congratulations boss...keep winning......

i have few questions, hope you don't mind answering them.

1. How did you apply for the jobs
2. what was your previous job
3. What advice do you have for devs looking for similar role


i have been coding for awhile, i haven't gotten any jobs yet.

1. I applied for jobs everywhere but mostly indeed and linkedin. The one I finally got is from LinkedIn.
Mind you, before getting this one, I have done atleast 7 interview job test that I failed.

2. I work as an Engineer in a a manufacturing firm. I still work there.

3. For Devs looking for similar role. Don't give up, keep learning and applying for jobs. Provided you don't give up, it will definitely pay someday.

LikeAking:
Congratulations!

Thanks boss

niel63:
Congratulations bro. 🎊

Happy to see you have a good result from filtering what we all say here.
Keep up the good work.

Thanks boss. Much appreciation to you.

niel63 and others who gave a constructive criticism when I posted my portfolio project here, I want to specially thank you.

After several failures and trials, I finally got a tech job as a front-end web developer.

I have been on my graduate job for 8yrs now but my first tech job which is remote pays me more. Funny enough, I still do both. My onsite job is presently not stressful, so I write code while at work using company power.

My advice to newbies, the road is not rosy but there is definitely gonna be light at the end of the road if you persist.

Hannania:
Firstly, from your link, you deployed the project on GitHub. I'll advice you host it on another mainstream platform. It doesn't have to be paid. This is to avoid bias on your ability to host.
for

Boss! You are a great man. You gave a very honest advice. A very honest one. I must commend you. Normally ehn. I suppose buy you beer. You are nice. Unlike other guru here who will prefer to lambast the person rather than give a helping advice just as you did. The C# thing is absolutely true.

God bless you boss!!!

ganisucks:
After the right president is sworn in, the shameless JAMB officials will be sacked and prosecuted. Then she will be rightfully accredited as the highest scorer for 2023. All these SWAGA hate politics will eventually fail.

APC propaganda machine spotted

OldBeer:
I remember when ibos were jubilating as if they had won world cup during Assurance era. Their loudness and caustic behavior worsened when she born boy. According to dem, Chioma position is solid as she don born "heir".

They thought Yorubas discriminated against gender like they did and refused every advice to the contrary.
Yoruba women suffered during that period ehn...
But see now. See who dem dey use shiit rub for face and she no fit do anything because na Davido hold knife and yam.

He is a miracle working God

Tribe in this kind matter too? Na wa oo. Nigeria has a long way to go

BiafIntel:
That's Igbo brain there for you. Difference is always clear. Pace setters!!

Please stop this tribal whatever

Resurrection212:
That failure called peter obi that came third in an election that crying over the internet that his manhood was stolen should rest now or God arrest him forever. No distractions let this man face what Nigerians elected him to do.

But Atiku is in court too now or has Atiku withdrawn?

JasonScoolari:
When you stop mistaking me for your Dad and concentrate on your 15k primary school teacher job, more offers will come.

Can you imagine ? God help us

silento:
Firefox , I think z-index the header to a higher number will fix it

Thanks boss

silento:
I will say 4/10

Elements no align well overflow
Bad color scheme
Bad font choice
And kind of not easy to navigate can be solved with a nice color for background so users will be able to sight it in time

Thank you very much boss.

I am surprise at the overflow thing, I personally hate things like that.
Which of the pages did you experience that cos it's not like that both on my mobile and system here.
Which of the browser are you using?

I will work on other stuff you have noticed once I finish what I am doing.

Thanks boss

Edipet:
thank, I will appreciate if you could recommend, video resources and books for me .

Depends on the skill you wanna acquire. One of my go to resources is Udemy followed by w3schools for reference purposes.
For Udemy, each course I wanna buy,I check the ratings and read through the reviews seriously. Especially the most recent reviews. That is how you know if the course is outdated or not.