vanitty:

Very condescending
So south east London Nigeria ladies are not real

@ Poster

A grown woman of 60 years must know why she did what she did!!
You can't be judging based on a one-sided conversation
Anywhooooo, were it to be true, such is life. You get the good with the bad. You just keep it moving
Good luck!

Apologies if it sounded condescending. I did not mean that south east london people are not real because that would mean putting everyone under the same blanket. And I was brought up in south east London. Or be like the poster who is generalising. You can go ahead and bash people because we don't agree with your opinions. Vanity and Damiso, hope apology is accepted?

cotton101: nonsense - poster stop hanging around the "peckham" crowd, get a better type of circle of friends cos what u are narrating here is foreign to me.

Definitely Pechkam crowd! Hanging with wrong crowds. Been in this country for a decade and half and my parents more than that. They are happily married and so am I. Pls leave your South east/east London and meet real people.

sugar 001: Why dont you post the recipe here?@Debs...

Hi everyone, I was supposed to post some recipes here but my son was unwell the past week with chest infection and cold. He's also teething badly. Will post this as soon as possible. Sorry ladies.

To use clomid, you need to be monitored by a gynaecologist. Being a nurse is not enough. Please read up on the side effects of clomid. It can not correct irregular period but it helps mimick ovulation and aid pregnancies. I used it twice (prescribed and monitored by a gynaecologist). 1st pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and 2nd a molar pregnancy. Think twice before buying it online and using it without adequate monitoring and ending up with quintuplets or ovarian cysts ( you need to be checked internally prior to and during use)

joymary7:
i also live in lagos. Do u mind sending me same too Thanks a lot

Joymary, pls include your email. I'll include recipes that you can find in Nigeria hopefully.

omopretty1: Debsolat, i live in Lagos can you please email me the recipes i can feed my 7months baby. My email address is omopretty@gmail.com thanks.

Will send this weekend.

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm a first time mum to a 91/2 month old baby boy. Hubby and I seem to be getting the hang of things as we have no physical help here. He started nursery few weeks ago and he's settled well. I'm here if you have questions and also to learn from others.

joymary7: plz i need help!! My 6 months old baby has refused to eat, he only take bossom milk which is obviously not satisfying him. I have tried all d different types of food i see in d store but he is not taking anyone. He takes pap but he gets rashes all ova his face, ear and buttocks after taking pap.Plz is there anytin i can do abt it.

What is it with Pap people? Stop giving it to him. Depending on where you live, you can start with giving him tsp of baby rice/ground rice mixed with his milk. Cook apple and purée it for him. You need to be consistent with it. Pm me and I can email you various recipes you can try. It takes perseverance but he will catch up and eat soon. Don't despair.

@baby:
Pls, mothers, my exclusive breast fed baby has not had a bowel movement for two days, mayb three counting today, is it okay.
Also she is three month and cos i have to resume work, I want to introduce formula, is it okay to give Ribenna to a three month old baby.
Also, is there a dosage to multi-vite for a baby?
Thanks.

Hi there, exclusively breast fed babies don't poo as often. My son used to go 4 days without doing anything. If you are concerned, take his legs and move them in a cycling position a few times. It will help his digestive system. I won't advice sticking fingers/menthol/Vaseline or whatever in his bum. Ribena is not suitable for under 3. At least that's what it says on the packet. Gradually introduce formula during the day few weeks before resuming work in order for him to get used to it and for you not to be engorged. Replace 1 feed with formula and then 2 then vice versa but you can still breast feed at night.

Definitely worth it. I miss being pregnant (not sure hubby is ready for another one yet) Go to sleep dear.

You are still awake *Ileke-IdI. I couldn't sleep during third trimester as I was huge and my back was hurting. Thank God for rocking chairs. By the way, loving these pictures.

How are you all doing? May God's blessings be generous in your life this week.x

What exactly is this chatbox for?

Hi everyone. Following this thread.

X-factoria:
That was irresponsible and unprofessional conduct by Sowore. Sowore was the intruder and the thug. How can he just walk into a private gathering and start covering it with his camera without prior permission to do that? Where was his sense of professionalism? And to think that he even resisted an attempt to avert a distraction to church members, screaming on top of his voice while a sermon was going on, he acted really uncivilized. In the US where he is based, he would have been handed to the police and made to pay a fine for intrusion and disturbance of people's peace. His actions were arrant nonsense!!!

Bravo. Like you said, he lives in the US. You cannot go to a private property without prior invitation or approval and just march to the front because you have an ID saying you are a reporter. After watching the video, I can honestly say the guy's behaviour is a disgrace to Journalism. You cannot come to my house without my invitation. He won't do that in the US. There are many black churches in the US, how many has he visited in such manner. He would have been arrested and charged to court. Now he is making it a story about church universities. Does MFM run a university? And FYI, I am not a member of MFM. So much childish behaviour and indiscipline.

biolabee: Money makes the world go round

Goodone debsolat u have to understand the ingrained mistrust which ha poisoned and warped the way people think
A friend of mine just bought a house and his wife signed the papers
That is unheard of in naija but thats how it goes for some people

Another model of financial managment i hear is make sure ur man has different projects (house, school, children etc) so he has no money for side thins

chaircover: Loooool ive heard that one tooo oooo!they work work work and invest in huge white elephant projects that will chew up all their money even past retirement age and they dont have time or money to enjoy themselves all because they want to keep the mans pocket empty

Heaven help such women.

debrief08: Most times during courtship we are so carried away that we fail to discuss basic issues.
Marriage is a partnership, there are no confined roles. However don't expect that she be a traditional wife do all the house work without you lifting a hand and want liberation when it comes to income.
We had almost the same issues when we married even though ours was slightly different, I was doing too mucch and hubby wanted me to relax, so we agreed on partnership which over the years has taken a huge load off both shoulders. He is not over stressed with all the bills and I am not over stressed with house work.
You are head of the home, call a family meeting and talk with each other how to make your marriage run smoothly. Some women have been raised to think that the husband should provide all and she should do all the home making.
Even though my husband and I share responsibilities he still gives me money to take care of my needs. It makes me very happy even when I can afford the items myself.
Some people have strong belief about gender roles and it will take a lot of work to change that. Don't impose it on her, talk and work something beneficial to both parties. Don't impose your veiws on her. Remember you are both in this together and there is no winner in marital conflict just two people who will carry on hurt and bitterness so please always put yourself in your wifes shoe and vice versa.
Best wishes

Debrief08, you should start counselling engaged couples my sister. May your knowledge never dry up. Your children and husband will call you blessed.
On this topic, prior to getting married, I was in middle management in my work and already have my own house on mortgage with all my bills in my name and payed rom my account. We discussed that hubby should move from his rented house into mine and we changed the name on the deeds to ours. It is a lot of stress having to change the name on the bills so we agreed to leave them as they were and I continued paying. A few months later, hubby advised that we have a joint account where he pays in 50% of his salary and I pay in same and we save 30% of the rest into one savings account so as to start our own business. Not for once did I ever ask for allowance because I earn enough to pay my bills and I want him to be a man that will always have extra on him and not be stressed working overtime. When we went the bank for a business loan and they asked how much money we have on us for the business, I just mentioned the money we both saved together, to my surprise, he said we have about 40% more. So we had no need of borrowing a large sum of money. The koko of my story is that if I had been pestering him for allowance, we probably would have spent our future! Women, let's be prudent. We are helpers and not destroyers. And I'm amazed that in this day and age, some women want monthly allowance. When my husband gives me, it's even as a surprise gift and I prefer that to him giving me money. Save for the future and for your children. Not the latest weave /bag/shoes or Gucci. That won't buy you your house or pay your kids' school fees.

Tusky44: Competitive companies don't give staff Xmas gift cos they understand that a truly multinational company in the 21st century would have a good mix of staff from various ethnic, religious, and cultural background.

Nigerians please travel out and see the light.

I disagree with the comment above and there is no need to be abusive. I live in Europe and the organisation I work for gave us £100 vouchers despite the fact that I've been on maternity leave since March. Have a good holiday everyone.

Used us to showcase His faithfulness with a baby boy after 5 years of miscarriages and molar pregnancy. Thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in His name. Also for the gift of life. If not for your goodness, if not for your kindness, I never would say I'm still standing.

[quote author=mrs flawless]


Dont mind the people who says you are lying when you discuss the positives in your marriage, rather understand where they are coming from. Also understand that maybe Men like your husband are a breed apart. I have been married for over 7 years, has loads of married friends so pls believe what i have just told you. Most married Men these days believes that the suceess of a marriage is 90% dependent on the Woman. Now when you have a Man who actually has a vision for his Family; what he expects and he is even willing to sacrifice and allign his actions to get the desired result then you have a Man. How many guys reads books on marriage? very few, they do exist but are not in the majority.

Things will begin to get better when the guys actually learn to accept their God defined roles as leaders and act that way in all aspect of life.
Nice thread sha, hope it doesnt get derailed!
Back to the thread, My Husband said he loved me a couple of days(Maybe he read the post on Nairaland oh) back so i said "really! did you just say that, oh its so nice to hear". he immediately got on the defensive and said "ha! but i say it a lot now"> when i finally quizzed him to remember when last he said it, the guy just shamefully admitted that maybe once every four months and i just started laughing. [/quote

There are so many positives in marriage but like you wrote, how many people took their time to read good books about marriage or still read? My husband tells me how much he loves me everyday and it's because he does (I don't need to start looking for reasons why he should be lying, if he says he does, then it's true). There are so many warped beliefs about marriage and the reasons people go into it. If it's just for procreation, then once you' ve had the kids, that's it! How anyone could have such ideologies is beyond me. I hold hands, display affection publicly with my honey. He's mine and I'm his. And for the men that wants to get married so their wives can look older than them, just get a house help! Why won't you help? If you see her as part of you, then you'll do anything to reduce her stress. There are some house chores that I hate doing like hoovering, sorting plates out for dishwasher and you'll never catch me mowing the lawn or taking the car to garage, my husband does that. I guess some people will say i'm lying. That's your own cuppa. For the home to progress, it requires both parties to be selfless. Oh Debrief, mrs flawless and chaircover loving you ladies.

Following. New here but loving most comments.

shaybe baby:
I am going back and working 28 hrs a week. I still have a bit of luck because his nan will have him two days a week. She's okay with him but the iya too dey complain jor. She can't pick him because of bad back etc. still it's better than him spending 4days with a minder. At least now a minder will only have him for two days. It is well.
What factors did you consider when narrowing down your choices?

I will be working my 30hrs over 3 days and he'll be at the nursery for 2 days while hubby stay home on the third day. The criterias: distance from our place of work (between mine, hubby's and my friend that will be picking him up) cleanliness, ofsted and current parent report, menus, staff attitude during visits and we didn't visit the nurseries that said we had to book in advance before coming in. We didn't go in during lunch in order not to disrupt things but I also did not want a rehearsed/staged visit. Also looked at the activities they do with the children, the experiences of the key workers, first aiders. Crb, ratio of staff to children. If I remember anymore, will let you know. Hope the above helps.

shaybe baby:
As babyosisi said, I guess we just have to make sure we are atleast comfy with who we will be leaving them with. I'm feeling the same anxiety but I keep telling myself it will be fine. It has to be. I was anxious as well when I brought him home from the hospital but I found my feet with time. Change is never really easy especially if we don't like the change. I have heard stories of women who died in child birth(thank God that is not our portion) and it's heart breaking that those kids will never know their mums. Atleast our kids have us, not all the time but we are able to be there when they need us. That is what i keep telling myself, our glass is half full not half empty. We be fine hun by God's grace.

Thanks Shaybe baby. I know he'll be fine. Hubby and I went to 11 nurseries before narrowing it down to 2. It's alarming the horrible things you hear and see. And ican't sit at home claiming benefits, so will be going back 30hrs a week. God will keep watch over them.

Ladies, I'm dreading it too. My little man will be starting nursery next month when I go back to work. It's the crying that'll be worse and not being there to pick him up as I have to work till 7pm but the nursery should be prepared for my calls. How have people coped?


From an anxious first time mother.

damiso: @debsolat,london.Dont know how the pm thing works.Never contacted anyone outside NL .Do you need my email add or something?

No worries. Just checking if you are close by. I'm a first time mum based in Nottinghamshire. Loving your threads and posts.