₦airaland Forum

nedekid:
Who does contribution to humanity help in the present naija reality? Jay Jay okocha is making a living through his betting company to take care of himself and family.
Naija is not a place you say you do anything for humanity, people will demand and take your give away while some will hail you, other will still yab you that you did not do enough. Peter Obi that is going around donating money for borehole, giving money to nursing schools and other critical areas, has the reactions not been negative from some people that have never done anything good before? That is why some considered sabinus foolish for tarring roads in his community in PH, if by mistake his earnings reduces and he goes broke, it is the same people of that community that will yab him and consider him an object of redicle. Ahmed musa that built stadium and others, let him go broke then you see how far if he wount be neglected. Those days guys considered mikel Obi a stingy guy that did nothing for humanity, omo, the guy kept his money, stayed abroad far from hungry people back home, he is currently enjoying his money in retirement. I bet you if he had returned to Nigeria, his story would have been like taribo, rufai and the others.
Omo, if you have money save it, invest it, take care of your family, as a man also enjoy your life, fly to London, Paris, Turkey, China for goodtime, eat the finest cheese, forget about charity aka humanity, cos they wount remember you when the chips are down.
Go and ask of Queen Naomi and that Ibadan radio guy that planned charity event that went south, no be jail them land? To say them use that money buy car, go London or chop am belle full, them no for go jail.

What Peter Obi is doing is not giving back to the society, he is only campaigning. Giving back to society is charity, you are not doing it for gain. A politician who stole from a State, is going about sharing that meagre amount of money, hoping to gain votes in the next election is not giving back to the society.

[quote author=omooba969 post=136544740]Can we be objective for a moment and examine the real reasons for the position we take on this subject. [/quote
Being friends with an ex can feel like a good idea—especially if the breakup was peaceful—but it often comes with hidden risks. Here are the main dangers of being friends with your ex:

1. Emotional Confusion

Old feelings can resurface, making it hard to move on.

You might misinterpret their kindness as a sign they want to rekindle the relationship.



2. Jealousy and Comparisons

Seeing your ex move on (dating someone new, being happy without you) can trigger jealousy or insecurity.

It may also make future partners uncomfortable with your closeness to an ex.



3. Delayed Healing

Constant contact can stop you from fully processing the breakup.

Instead of closing the chapter, you’re keeping it open.



4. Boundaries Become Blurry

What’s okay and what’s not? Hugs, late-night calls, deep talks—these can cross lines and confuse both of you.

It can also create awkward situations with new partners.



5. False Hope

One person might secretly hope for reconciliation, while the other only wants friendship. This imbalance can cause hurt later.



6. Interference in New Relationships

Future partners may feel threatened, leading to distrust or conflict.

You may also find yourself comparing your new partner to your ex.



7. Toxic Patterns Can Continue

If the relationship had unhealthy dynamics (control, manipulation, arguments), those same issues can spill into the “friendship.”




Being friends with your ex can work in rare cases (like co-parenting or a very mutual breakup), but often it slows healing and complicates your emotional life.

What happened to her welfare and career? So my friends cannot eat snacks from outside or what? What kind of crude mentality is this?

This husband must be an Igala man that was raised in the village.

There's a girl in my area that year, the moment she gained admission to the University, the mother took her to the clinic for the contraceptives implant, according to her, she doesn't want the daughter to get pregnant from school.

These generation is nothing to write home about. Morally, academically, financially, spiritually, socially, physically, mentally, psychologically and generally.

They are not thinking anything apart from relationships, s*x and drugs and fraud.

To be blunt and honest with you, I will break up with a girl who feels the friendship between her and her ex is big deal because they are not enemy. Let me rephrase it " I will never date a girl who's friend with her ex or keep constant communication with her ex"

I am not friends with any of my ex, no matter how we were close or sacrifices we have made, once we are done, boundaries are respected. I can like or comment on your post on social media once in a blue moon, but it will be RARE for me to start calling or chatting you.

I don't hate you, I am not toxic, but I don't do ex, currently I don't even have any of my ex contacts, I have too many friends already.

Those shouting emotional maturity and discipline will still go and mess up and blame it on the devil.

Make I discover say my neighbor dey do hookup, food don dey near house be that na.

OP, collect the hookup girl number give me, tell her I am a lawyer and I can help her in a Court - room.

Nigerians abroad should do better, others are taking the advantage of the enabling environment to set pace and put their name in the map of History, others choose to imitate INEC chairman.

Nigeria with this mentality is doomed. Someone should tell this Senator Opeyemi Bamidele that if he like, he should become INEC chairman and declare the governor winner, the governor won't support his governorship ambition he is nurturing.

papyjaypaul:
Explain

He have to resign to join politics,obj was his mentor,but like every mentee in politics he later but the finger that fed him

Audu Ogbe was already a Minister of Communication under Shehu Shagari oo.

Celestialsword:
Ogbe use to work with Obasanjo farm as a manager before Obasanjo drafted him into politics.

He have to resign to join politics,obj was his mentor,but like every mentee in politics he later but the finger that fed him.

But he was a very astute politician.

Lol, be calming down na.
Audu Ogbe was Minister of Communications under the Shehu Shagari Administration.

How come Obasanjo mentored him?

Nnamdipapa:
Mid 30s is still fine as you have matured, seen life experiences, understand yourself better and, able to make quality life decisions

Yeah, I agree.

Nnamdipapa:
Your brothers, what are their experiences? Are they happy or regreting about marrying lates?

The immediate elder brother seems happier, the wife is submissive and productive and respectful and she's really caring and lovely.

The first born, well I don't spend much time with them but he seems in love.

NAC1666:
I wonder why people are quick to judge men if God. Please,fact check before condemning the priest. The profile picture is from face book while the chat is a what's app chat. The picture and the chat are not one. This chat was screenshot to tarnish the image of the priest.

People are quick to judge so called men of God because they're there to set exemplary leadership. And if you are ignorant of their hypocritical tendencies, then so be it.

Zocalite:
Hmmmm

Some facts you broadly stated

If you look at the women people in their 60s or 70s married, what they persevered, their standard

Many women or to an extent men can't withstand it

Eg some women now can't draw well

That's why many people are going to suffer from loneliness in an advanced age.

Kobojunkie:
What generation was cut out for marriage? The generation of your ancestors who were notorious for abandoning wives and children, even for the slightest or just because? Or the generation that shamed abandoned women, labelling them outcasts to keep them from revealing they were abandoned, and why? Or are you referring to the Gen X's who still don't realize that abandonment is pretty much the same as divorce without a formal announcement?

O don't know who taught you History, from my knowledge of history, my ancestors do not abandon women like your ancestors, even when they were polygamous, they had successful marriage.

lollybizzu:
This here is screaming danger.

I have my SIL staying with us and some times, I look at her and pity whoever is gonna marry her or the kind of wife she's gonna be.

I pray God help this generation of young adults.

.

Lol, she must be a dancing red flag. We are doing this I don't care what people think until we advance in age then reality hits us.

OgidiHerbals:
You've said it all summarily. Most divorces happens with LEARNED couples.

You are right. We claim to know too much, the men become so egoistic and nonchalant, while the ladies lost their feminity in the name of fighting for equality.

Jieta2:
Only Hod knows how long you have been married, I like your last paragraph.

Thanks man.

CorperKola:
This will make him seem controlling i understand its natural for him to feel naked and exposed but its her sister for God's sake. Not a male bestie
It might also make her trust you even less going forward
Whu wont you want her to run your issurs with a third party
Does he have ulterior motives or evil intentions for her
Why does he want to isolate her completely

Well, I don't think he wants to isolate her completely, he wants to make sure there's a limit to what she discussed with her sister about their relationship.

Sheffdon:
yes my bro

A lot of them i tell you. I still know two girls that are virgins. But i want to deflower this one abeg. I can't stand another man doing it

In that case, do the needful. I had some experience with virgins in school too.

A girl once told me that since she's 21 years old, she would like to marry a 31 year old man.

If the girl is not a VIRGIN, I am not doing that scam. However, the world has degenerated to the point that even virgins indulge in oral s*x, anal s*x, send nudes, allow guys to suck the breasts, without actual penetration.

My two elder brothers married late, one married mid 40s and the second early 40s. I have personally resolved not to marry that late, even though they had children before marriage.

Agreeing with your point, I will consider marriage in my mid 30s, at this point,my goals and personal growth comes before any thing else.

The way those girls super glue themselves to the chaplain and assistant chaplain back then in school, nobody needs a prophet to know that transactions of fluids was taken place.

How people glorified and man-worship those so called men of God is quite alarming.

Why are nudes been leaked everyday and people still have the guts to keep recording nudes? Is it that they think their own will be different?

Is it love or money that would make a girl agree to send nudes to her boyfriend?

People sha have weird ways of reasoning.

Of course, I can marry my cousin for sure. I have beautiful cousins, great brains and extraordinary beauties, but I don't actually look at them from marriage perspective, however, I can actually marry my cousin.

Hahaha, one Uche for Port Harcourt don catch better CL. They go use clearance collect your money.

Rich girl from another continent with a very poor English knowledge. The spellings and punctuation is so funny.

I had this misconception that University girls are promiscuous. Not until my classmates started telling about how they were deflowering girls. In my final year second semester, the last four girls I had something to do with were virgin.

Most of these girls in school got their first freedom in school, at home they can be naughty and corrupt via social media and all stuff, most of them lack the freedom to go out to misbehave.

We have a lot of virgin girls in school.

I remembered in my final year in school, I was taught "Culture theory" I learned how to assimilate differences in cultures, how to appreciate cultures, how to learn and understand cultures instead of criticizing.

Education here is too poor, they mould us academically and careless about our character. How would a grown educated, exposed and socially inclined individual don't know when, where and how to talk in certain climes?

He was warned the first time, but the indiscipline and incivility in him must dance in public.

To be honest, I have similar relationship with my elder brother. He tells me everything, and he takes my advice on everything. Anytime they have misunderstanding, his wife will call me immediately to explain to me, I will ensure they settle immediately.

The bond is so crazy that my brother tells me about his sex life with girls before he married, who is good in bed or bad. I open up to him about my relationship also.

When he makes money, I will be the first to know, if he wants to change his car, I will be the first to know, when he gets a girl pregnant, I will be the first to know. His wife once told me jokingly that I am the number person her husband loves so she doesn't joke with me.

Back to your feelings, you can politely tell her. Start a casual conversation with her by asking her who can she tell all her secrets without fear of being snitched on? You will tell her that for you, she is the one, then when she says her sister, tell her why she shouldn't discuss everything with her sister especially her relationship with you because you guys are a team.

ExudeLoveToAll:
'told him at the beginning that I’d love for him to propose to me b4 we start getting intimate as most relationships built on intimacy don’t last. He agreed. But as we get along, we eventually started having sex even tho it’s not how I pictured it'. But I had to because I didn’t want him to leave.


'At the start of this year, I made a resolution to stop giving in to sex and see how much affections he has for me looking at the fact that he’s not even asked me to be his wife. It’s always promise here and there'


When will Nigerian ladies be smart enough? Whenever you mention i don't want to have sex qnd you are not w virgin i immediately see you as a scammer as well as a manipulator, I usually run from such ladies because they don't usually offer much but only looking to put marriage only in front it's w big red flag.

For ladies in this shoes, I always advise whenever you tell a man about withholding sex because you want to het to know his character traits excluding sex also tell him money will also be excluded because he should know your character traits excluding money, in such a situation you guys have the opportunity to understand yourself well without sex and money

N/B this isn't about you but for every lady who has this opinion the opinion of withholding sex while expecting the man not to withhold his money

Aa regards to your mans indifference, talk things out

Son of Man, if only you can lend your wisdom to Tinubu for one week. Body and soul do not reveal this to you, but wisdom from above.

First of all, don't weaponize sex in your relationship or marriage. I understand that premarital sex is sin and all that but since we are being practical, don't weaponize sex.

Secondly, you are not a virgin but suddenly you don't want to have sex before marriage? Well, that doesn't work for me. If a girl is proposing no sex relationship, she has to be a virgin. All those area boys cannot eat free cookie and then you want to form decency with me.

Thirdly, I initiate sex, but I will never beg for sex. When I initiate sex and the girl gives me dull vibes, we ain't having that sex again, if it happens three times, I ain't initiating any sex unless she does with reasonable apology.

The best thing to do is sit his ass down and honestly talk to him about how sorry you are, and don't mean to treat him this way.