₦airaland Forum

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Spinal kini? May God remove your spinal cord and third leg completely. #ELERIBU OFON

People tend to be alarmed when the Nigerian Presidency takes certain decisions. They don’t think the decision makes sense. Sometimes, they wonder if something has not gone wrong with the thinking process at that highest level of the country. I have heard people insist that there is some form of witchcraft at work in the country’s seat of government. I am ordinarily not a superstitious person, but working in the Villa, I eventually became convinced that there must be something supernatural about power and closeness to it. I’ll start with a personal testimony. I was given an apartment to live in inside the Villa. It was furnished and equipped. But when my son, Michael arrived, one of my brothers came with a pastor who was supposed to stay in the apartment. But the man refused claiming that the Villa was full of evil spirits and that there would soon be a fire accident in the apartment. He complained about too much human sacrifice around the Villa and advised that my family must never sleep overnight inside the Villa.
I thought the man was talking nonsense and he wanted the luxury of a hotel accommodation. But he turned out to be right. The day I hosted family friends in that apartment and they slept overnight, there was indeed a fire accident. The guests escaped and they were so thankful. Not long after, the President’s physician living two compounds away had a fire accident in his home. He and his children could have died. He escaped with bruises. Around the Villa while I was there, someone always died or their relations died. I can confirm that every principal officer suffered one tragedy or the other; it was as if you needed to sacrifice something to remain on duty inside that environment. Even some of the women became merchants of Love Machine because they had suffered a special kind of death in their homes (I am sorry to reveal this) and many of the men complained about something that had died below their waists too. The ones who did not have such misfortune had one ailment or the other that they had to nurse. From cancer to brain and prostate surgery and whatever, the Villa was a hospital full of agonizing patients.
I recall the example of one particular man, an asset to the Jonathan Presidency who practically ran away from the Villa. He said he needed to save his life. He was quite certain that if he continued to hang around, he would die. I can’t talk about colleagues who lost daughters and sons, brothers and uncles, mothers and fathers, and the many obituaries that we issued. Even the President was multiply bereaved. His wife, Mama Peace was in and out of hospital at a point, undergoing many surgeries. You may have forgotten but after her husband lost the election and he conceded victory, all her ailments vanished, all scheduled surgeries were found to be no longer necessary and since then she has been hale and hearty. By the same token, all those our colleagues who used to come to work to complain about a certain death beneath their waists and who relied on videos and other instruments to entertain wives (take it easy boys, I don’t mean nay harm, I am writing!), have all experienced a re-awakening.
Everyone who went under the blade has received miraculous healing, and we are happy to be out of that place. But others were not so lucky. They died. There were days when convoys ran into ditches and lives were lost. In Norway, our helicopter almost crashed into a mountain. That was the first time I saw the President panicking. The weather was all so hazy and he just kept saying it would not be nice for the President of a country to die in a helicopter crash due to pilot miscalculations. The President went into a prayer mode. We survived. In Kenya once, we had a bird strike. The plane had to be recalled and we were already airborne with the plane acting like it would crash. During the 2015 election campaigns, our aircraft refused to start on more than one occasion. The aircraft just went dead. On some other occasions, we were stoned and directly targeted for evil. I really don’t envy the people who work in Aso Villa, the seat of Nigeria’s Presidency. For about six months, I couldn’t even breathe properly. For another two months, I was on crutches. But I considered myself far luckier than the others who were either nursing a terminal disease or who could not get it up.
When Presidents make mistakes, they are probably victims of a force higher than what we can imagine. Every student of Aso Villa politics would readily admit that when people get in there, they actually become something else. They act like they are under a spell. When you issue a well- crafted statement, the public accepts it wrongly. When the President makes a speech and he truly means well, the speech is interpreted wrongly by the public. When a policy is introduced, somehow, something just goes wrong. In our days, a lot of people used to complain that the APC people were fighting us spiritually and that there was a witchcraft dimension to the governance process in Nigeria. But the APC folks now in power are dealing with the same demons. Since Buhari government assumed office, it has been one mistake after another. Those mistakes don’t look normal, the same way they didn’t look normal under President Jonathan. I am therefore convinced that there is an evil spell enveloping this country. We need to rescue Nigeria from the forces of darkness. Aso Villa should be converted into a spiritual museum, and abandoned.
Should I become President of Nigeria tomorrow, I will build a new Presidential Villa: a Villa that will be dedicated to the all-conquering Almighty, and where powers and principalities cannot hold sway. But it is not about buildings and space, not so? It is about the people who go to the highest levels in Nigeria. I really don’t quite believe in superstitions, but I am tempted to suggest that this is indeed a country in need of prayers. We should pray before people pack their things into Aso Villa. We should ask God to guide us before we appoint ministers. We should, to put it in technocratic language, advise that the people should be very vigilant. We have all failed so far, that crucial test of vigilance. We should have a Presidential Villa where a President can afford to be human and free. In the White House, in the United States, Presidents live like normal human beings. In Aso Villa, that is impossible. They’d have to surround themselves with cooks from their villages, bodyguards from their mother’s clans and friends they can trust. It should be possible to be President of Nigeria without having to look behind one’s shoulders. But we are not yet there. So, how do we run a Presidency where the man in the saddle can only drink water served by his kinsman? No. How can we possibly run a Presidency where every President proclaims faith in Nigeria but they are better off in the company of relatives and kinsmen. No. We need as Presidents men and women who are willing to be Nigerians. No Nigerian President should be in spiritual bondage because he belongs to all of us and to nobody.
Now let me go back to the spiritual dimension. A colleague once told me that I was the most naïve person around the place. I thought I was a bright, smart, professional doing my bit and enjoying the President’s confidence. I spelled it out. But what I got in response was that I was coming to the villa using Lux soap, but that most people around the place always bathed in the morning with blood. Goat blood. Ram blood. Whatever animal blood. I argued. He said there were persons in the Villa walking upside down, head to the ground. I screamed. Everybody looked normal to me. But I soon began to suspect that I was in a strange environment indeed. Every position change was an opportunity for warfare. Civil servants are very nice people; they obey orders, but they are not very nice when they fight over personal interests.
The President is most affected by the atmosphere around him. He can make wrong decisions based on the cloud of evil around him. Even when he means well and he has taken time to address all possible outcomes, he could get on the wrong side of the public. A colleague called me one day and told me a story about how a decision had been taken in the spiritual realm about the Nigerian government. He talked about the spirit of error, and how every step taken by the administration would appear to the public like an error. He didn’t resign on that basis but his words proved prophetic. I see the same story being re-enacted. Aso Villa is in urgent need of redemption. I never slept in the apartment they gave me in that Villa for an hour.

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Ingredients:
olive oil
honey
cinnamon
Preparation:
Heat up the olive oil, and stir the cinnamon and the raw and organic honey in it. Take one tablespoon of each. Mix well until you get a smooth and silky mixture.
Keep this remedy in a Mason jar.
Application
Rub the remedy on your scalp and lightly cover your hair. Leave it to stand for about 15 minutes and rinse it off with a mild, natural shampoo.
Patience will pay off and you should see the first results in a week. You can enjoy your shiny and strong hair!

The Western introduced the religion to us and that is the way they dress.

Isale eko boyz go don chop Dino raw before e go enta the venue

Kindergarten mentality

Ikorodu headquarter of ritualists, cultists, robbers & kidnappers

Omo jaiyejaiye

4.5m 2008/2010

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Oga Fayose! Put on your thinking cap if you have any and stop depending on federal allocation.

He successfully completed the the project of Dollar distribution without tribalism

Chai see person wey de sell market, you made a mistake and instead correcting your mistake, you turn to insult. Kotinu I don see say you don high with gbana and ogoro this morning

People can see clearly who is mentally unstable

You're confused

Ben had his Ego Bruced! Wake up buddy and move on. If you want a hand shake that badly go to the Hill too and IBB will give you one..FOC!!!

Ben had his Ego Bruced! Wake up buddy and move on. If you want a hand shake that badly go to the Hill too and IBB will give you one..FOC!!!

Ben had his Ego Bruced! Wake up buddy and move on. If you want a hand shake that badly go to the Hill too and IBB will give you one..FOC!!!

Try register your complains on their twitter, if you want a quick response no form gentle babe ooO.

You can't share anything that is in video section except the ones that falls in photo gallery

16. Respect pregnant women because
it's not easy walking around with
evidence that you've had sex.
17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect
a guy to last in bed with you for 2
hours? Your level of selfishness
demands a one week crusade.
18. I stopped trusting ladies when my
class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid
a mirror.
19. Nothing makes a woman more
confused than being in a relationship
with a "broke" man who's extremely
good in bed. 20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl
who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a
40 year old man to last for 1 hour in
bed.
21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned
girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see
charcoal, you become emotional.
22. Women with beauty and no brains,
it is your private parts will suffer the
most.
23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets
suspicious.
24. Its better for a man to be stingy
with his money because he hustled for
it than a woman to deny you a hole she
didn't drill. 25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he
approached naked Eve instead of naked
Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.
26. If you are a married man and you
find yourself attracted to school girls,
just buy your wife a school uniform. 27. It is every man's dream to remove a
woman's pant one day but NOT when
it's on a drying line.
28. Virginity is the best wedding gift
any man would receive from his newly
wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-longer because it'll have
already been given out as a Birthday
gift, token of Appreciation, Job
assurance, Church collection,
Examination marking schemes & for
Lorry fares!" 29. Treat every part of your towel
nicely because the part that wipes your
buttocks today will wipe your face
tomorrow.
30. We are living in a generation where
people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch
each others’ phones because they’re
private.”
31. Sometimes you look back at girls
you spent money on rather than send it
to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.
32. If President Barack Obama wants
me to allow marriage for same-sex
couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he
must come here so that I marry him
first. 33. South Africans will kick down a
statue of a dead white man but won’t
even attempt to slap a live one. Yet
they can stone to death a black man
simply because he’s a foreigner.
34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back
quicker than the ships used by their
ancestors.
36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled
in a piece of paper with fire on one end
and a fool on the other end. 37. A brave man is he who has a
running stomach and still wants to
flatulate.
38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89
years would be a great time to retire as
a President Mugabe: Have you ever asked the
Queen this question or is it just for
African leaders?
39. Interviewer: Mr President, wen are
you bidding the people of Zimbabwe
farewell? Robert: Where are they going?
40.My dear ladies, please don't buy a
selfie stick when your armpit itself
needs a shaving stick.
Which is your favorite?

1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father. 2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him. 3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus. 4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella. 5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool. 6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK! 7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire. 8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day. 9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY. 10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from? 11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'. 12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend. 13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy. 14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face. 15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

40 Alleged Quotes from president ROBERT MUGABE that will make your day.