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Doctimi's Posts

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Foreign AffairsObama Calls Putin A Jackass by doctimi(op): 8:05am On Sep 09, 2013
ST. PETERSBURG (The Borowitz Report)—Hopes for a positive G20 summit crumbled today as President Obama blurted to Russia’s Vladimir Putin at a joint press appearance, “Everyone here thinks you’re a jackass.”

The press corps appeared stunned by the uncharacteristic outburst from Mr. Obama, who then unleashed a ten-minute tirade at the stone-faced Russian President.

“Look, I’m not just talking about Snowden and Syria,” Mr. Obama said. “What about Pussy Riot? What about your anti-gay laws? Total jackass moves, my friend.”

As Mr. Putin narrowed his eyes in frosty silence, Mr. Obama seemed to warm to his topic.

“If you think I’m the only one who feels this way, you’re kidding yourself,” Mr. Obama said, jabbing his finger in the direction of the Russian President’s face. “Ask Angela Merkel. Ask David Cameron. Ask the Turkish guy. Every last one of them thinks you’re a dick.”

Shortly after Mr. Obama’s volcanic performance, Mr. Putin released a terse official statement, reading, “I should be afraid of this skinny man? I wrestle bears.”

After one day of meetings, the G20 nations voted unanimously on a resolution that said maybe everyone should just go home.

Source:http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/09/g20-ends-abruptly-as-obama-calls-putin-a-jackass.html

RomanceRe: Guys, Can You Marry A Lady Who Attends A White Garment Church? by doctimi(m): 11:08am On Aug 16, 2013
Is brotherhood of cross and star also a white garment church..... They are always dressed in white flowing robes and some they fine like mammy water. Wetin spoil am be say dem sabi sing die...... Chain.... Next Sunday...I av to be there.
PoliticsRe: Police Dismiss Sgt. Omeleze Caught On Tape Negotiating Bribe by doctimi(op): 6:48pm On Aug 07, 2013
doctimi: Nigerian Police Force has dismissed the Sgt. Caught on tape while negotiating bribe with a traffic offender. Just saw that on channels TV now. See details here. http://www.africanspotlight.com/2013/08/07/bribe-nigerian-police-dismiss-officer-caught-on-tape-demanding-bribe/
By the way, what happens to the other officer 'Yusuf' and the oga' he mentioned over the phone.

PoliticsPolice Dismiss Sgt. Omeleze Caught On Tape Negotiating Bribe by doctimi(op): 6:38pm On Aug 07, 2013
(Reuters) – It was a crime so familiar to inhabitants of Nigeria’s corruption-ridden main metropolis that few would have batted an eyelid had the victim not managed to record the whole incident on a secret camera.

The outcome was much rarer – a policeman sacked for trying to extort money from a motorist over a supposed traffic offence.

It was a scene that happens every day. A policeman stops a car on a busy Lagos street and accuses the driver of flouting some traffic rule – one that may be real or imaginary in a vast, chaotic city of 21 million people where motorists often seem oblivious to any rules.

The policeman then opens the door to the passenger seat, enters and demands a large amount of money from the motorist – in this case 25,000 Nigerian naira ($160).

Nigeria’s central police command confirmed overnight that Sergeant Chris Omeleze had been dismissed after being caught on camera trying to extort the bribe from a motorist who was leaving Lagos international airport.

“I want to gladly report that in less than 24 hours after we got wind of that story, the police officer was identified, arrested … (and) dismissed from the police force,” police spokesman Frank Mba said on Channels Television on Thursday. Omeleze had been a policeman for 21 years, said Mba.

The video has received 117,500 hits on YouTube, been retweeted and replayed on all Nigeria’s main TV channels.

Omeleze originally asks the driver for 25,000 naira but the man protests that 2,000 naira is all he has.

The policeman says this is not enough, adding: “I am not working alone. Look, if you enter this compound (the police station), you will pay bigger money.”

He then appears to notice the man has some dollars, but the driver says that he needs them for excess luggage.

After much argument, the policeman appears to make a phone call to a colleague and tells him the driver refuses to pay up. He then advises the driver that he had been instructed to book him for the traffic offence.

Analysts say corrupt police officers in Africa’s most populous country do not work alone but are part of a mafia-like racketeering network going far up the chain of command.

It often worsens during election cycles when politicians, who wield influence over police, need more money for patronage.

Mba denied that the policeman had an accomplice in the precinct station, saying he made a pretend call in order to “blackmail” the motorist he had pulled over.

“As a matter of fact he made no calls. He wanted to fool the citizen into believing there were some superior forces involved.”

It was not known whether the sacked policeman would be prosecuted, as Mba could not be reached for further comment.

($1 = 160 naira)
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/08/08/us-nigeria-extortion-idUSBRE9770FK20130808

By the way, what happens to the other officer 'Yusuf' and the oga' he mentioned over the phone.
PoliticsRe: Army Moves To Retire Al-mustapha by doctimi(m): 10:02am On Jul 22, 2013
Pls people Comport yourself properly. This thread is not about Wole Soyinka and Patience Jonathan. Just share your view and move on! Almustapha Hamza would choose the former: Voluntarily retire!
CrimeRe: 4 Convicts Hanged In Edo by doctimi(m): 12:35pm On Jun 25, 2013
The 3 types of murder recognised:
*Justifiable murder
*Excusable Murder
*Felony:....felony further categorised into 2: Manslaugher and Premeditated Murder

for the 1st, if you're are a government agent, say an SSS officer going after armed criminals, in exchange of gun fire, if eventually the suspect dies, then it's justified cos u shld under no circumstances kill a suspect. Thats Justifiable muder.
For excusable, say a rape victim or any other person was attacked, and he subtly managed to disarm his/her attacker and in the process of that, the attacker died. If proven beyond reasonable doubt that the assailant was killed in the process of self defence, then the munder is excusable.
Thirdly, Manslaughter is The unjustifiable, inexcusable, and intentional killing of a human being without deliberation, premeditation, and malice e.g. Someone tries to cross an express way, knocked down by an on-coming vehicle. It can be voluntary or involuntary like a man met his wife having sex with a cotenant on their matrimonial bed, in annoyance grabs a stick and just clubbed the adulteree once, he's guilty of voluntary man-slaughter while the man who knocks down some one on the highway wld be charged with involuntary man-slaughter. The last in the intentional murder which was deliberate, planned and carried out with malice aforethought.

The victim of this death sentence commited intentional murder and had been proven guilty beyond all doubt by a competent court. I really dont know why amnesty group is crying. Let them channel all their resources in ridding the human society of criminals first. Taxpayers money should not be used to feed eternal prisoners while there are so many innocents out there without food to eat. Hamza Almustapha, Rev. Kings as well as all those Lautech ritualist students should follow.
PoliticsRe: Fashola Releases Fantasy Video Of Lagos by doctimi(m): 4:49pm On Jun 14, 2013
So many bad belle people, evn more retarded than retardeen...
Well... it's been said that ''To avoid criticism, Do nothing, Say nothing and Be nothing''... Haters must always hate.
This is a deliberate howbeit strategic dimension to attract investors into the state, thereby increase the IGR, create jobs, etc. Some people want him to show ajegunle, abuleegba, ijora,etc......
Mtcheeewwwwwwww.
iMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING...It will Happen soon
BusinessRe: Gtbank: 200% Increase On Transfer Charges by doctimi(m): 8:03am On Jun 13, 2013
Its was amazing to me too.. i was debited about #5,000.00 for some online transfers i made. It was so annoying. I wish to close that account immediately. i think thats how gtb makes those heavy profits they declare quaterly. thiefing people's money stylishly.
PoliticsRe: INEC To Start Distributing Permanent Voters’ Card by doctimi(m): 2:23pm On Jun 11, 2013
we are waiting.....govt and their inconsistencies!
BusinessWhat Business To Do With 400 Thousand Naira Housing Allowance by doctimi(op): 1:35pm On Jun 11, 2013
Dear nairalanders, I've got this 400thoucand naira in my bank account for some time. I dnt intend to get an apartment in the next one or two years cos I'm nt married and not planning to do that till say 3 or 4 yrs time. I squandered the last housing allowance cos i kept it in my account, and withdrew with that demonic atm card in 20 thousands fortnightly. I had since promised myself to be financially responsible. Can someone help with a business idea that wld only require less or none of my time. I'm open to all genuine options.

Thanks Y'all............
PoliticsRe: Dele Momodu: My Candid Take On 2015 by doctimi(m): 10:03pm On Jun 08, 2013
Pls I'll av to break rule 2...cos some comments sounds so imbecillic and quite pathetic. This is one of most interesting piece I av read on 2015 and some demented nairalanders couldn't just digest the message and save the photojournalist their smelly buCcal cavity. Nairaland should be rid of teenagers and sucklings!
Music/RadioRe: Sunny Ade Vs Ebenezer Obey: Who Do You Prefer? by doctimi(m): 1:33pm On Apr 12, 2013
Music is not all about dance....though a part of it. Yea sunny ade has the dance steps, but Obey's lyric are way deep, sensational, soulish and inspiring. Well I'll dig the earlier songs of sunny. Obey still stands tall anyday! Especially...''awa l'omo abeokuta, Omo ibadan, Lagos state, epo ila, ara mi ese pele, etc......Always for Obey any day.
AutosRe: Sharper than Toks Nissan Altima(reg) For Sale 700k by doctimi(m): 7:59am On Mar 05, 2013
610k
AutosRe: SOLD!! Volvo S80 2000 Full Option Registered January @700k SOLD!! by doctimi(m): 10:16pm On Mar 04, 2013
600k pls...cash
AutosRe: S0LD!!700k Neatly Used 2006 Nissan Altima 2.5s; Leather Seat, FULL OPTION (PICS) by doctimi(m): 2:03pm On Mar 03, 2013
600k::;reply pls
AutosRe: 2 units of 11 Months Used Honda Crv 98 Model For Sale. Wine and Green colour. by doctimi(m): 1:34am On Mar 03, 2013
600k.....? Do u mind?
honeymix77: this car is well maintained, full option, driven by a woman. Has just bought another car. The car has no issue buy and travel. For more info- 08091500681, 08168875620, 08184680103, donbellarosa@gmail.com, price- 800k
600k.....? Do u mind?
AutosRe: cleanest 2002 Volvo S80 For Sale 700k slightly negotiable by doctimi(m): 5:26pm On Jan 20, 2013
i've been trying to reach you. We agreed to meet sunday evening cos u said u were in ikeja yesteday, and your line suddenly became unreachable after i left home. U can get back to me. Thanks
Foreign AffairsRe: 34 Hostages Killed In Air Strike By Algerian Forces by doctimi(m): 10:53am On Jan 18, 2013
They should av asked the Isreali army to give them a lecture on the Entebbe Operation... led by General Yonatan Netanyahu! Collateral damage is a language of Mediocres!!! Unserious Algerian Armies....Mtcheeewww
AutosRe: Good Deal.... Kia Optima 2002 - 550k by doctimi(m): 9:49pm On Jan 16, 2013
av called thrice... u did not answer the call....

i'll keep trying anyway
AutosRe: SOLD!!! Very Clean VW Golf 4 (less Than 4 Months Reg) Up For Grab #690K by doctimi(m): 9:32pm On Jan 16, 2013
500k pleaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeee

3233bf08
thanks
AutosRe: A Nigerian Used Golf 4 For Quick Sale (520k) by doctimi(m): 9:26pm On Jan 16, 2013
440k

08025918462

thanks
AutosRe: Registered Very Clean 2002/2003 Nissan Altima For Sale- N600k Only Works Perfect by doctimi(m): 9:21pm On Jan 16, 2013
550k will work for both of us
3233bf08
thanks
AutosRe: cleanest 2002 Volvo S80 For Sale 700k slightly negotiable by doctimi(m): 8:59pm On Jan 16, 2013
500k.... cash....
U can't av more than this...

Cheers
AutosRe: Wow!! Another Price Slash!!! Peugeot 206 with Ice Block AC (Abuja) N580K by doctimi(m): 8:52pm On Jan 16, 2013
It's taking too long now....Haba...I'll pay 560k...Pls dont tell me i'm almost there like u always do...

Thanks
AutosRe: SOLD! SOLD!! Peugeot 307 (Abuja) N680K by doctimi(m): 8:45pm On Jan 16, 2013
620K......Really interested. Thanks
PoliticsRe: Sanusi To FG: Sack 50% Of Civil Servants by doctimi(m): 2:00pm On Nov 28, 2012
All the government can do is to make the civil service less attractive by creating more jobs and encouraging the private sector to do same. The agricultural sector is still enough to accomodate the teeming unemployed. Simple, reduce the salary of lawmakers, executives, special and senior special imbeciles/advisers. Divert the overage into agriculture to make the industry attractive to the younger generation. Encourage local production of fabrics, shoes, etc and ban importation of such into the country. Executives shld lead by examples, encourage the nigerian economy by patronising her products. If parliative measures are put in place, then you can go ahead with your demonic policies. If not uncle sanusi, stop displaying an attitude of gross wickedness and kingsize stubborness.
Car TalkRe: Molue Buses Rebranding For A Comeback by doctimi(m): 1:35pm On Nov 28, 2012
it can be so frustrating if a omnipotent drug merchandiser is inside the molue or an itinerant preacher, especially if you experience the traffic from oshodi to abuleegba on friday evening. Then u wnt like to have the horrible experience again. Albeit, if they can stop cramming passengers on the aisle preferably no standing and prevent those lousy goodfornothing talkatives from sneaking into the molue, maybe there cld be a slim chance of survival. Except that, let them go to onitsha or aba. or abeokuta. The governors there avnt woken up
TV/MoviesRe: The Best Nollywood Comedy Actor by doctimi(m): 10:01pm On Oct 17, 2012
Mr latin
Mr Ibu
PhonesRe: How True Is It That 09141 Is A Killer Number? by doctimi(m): 6:26am On Sep 15, 2011
me i'v been trying 2 dial d number sef. its nt going thru. may be its network anyway, killer number my foot. i guess some1 is doing a research on d gullibility of nigerians, oshisco.
CrimeRe: Drunk Police Kills 3 In Delta State by doctimi(m): 2:14pm On Sep 12, 2011
beware of dose guys in black, dey are permanent mourners. their job is 2 make people mourn, dnt get close 2 them,
PoliticsRe: Bomb Blast At Police Force Headquarters In Abuja? by doctimi(m): 8:42pm On Jun 16, 2011
this is regretably lugubrious! What a pitiable dismal pismire, as hon. Pat O. wld say.[b][/b]
RomanceRe: Is It A Crime To Be Ugly? by doctimi(m): 3:36pm On Jun 11, 2011
Some were wonderfully made
Some were FEARFULLY made!
But
All things bright and beautiful all creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
d Lord God made dem all!
So if it's a crime 2b ugly den D One who created dem is d Criminal!

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