₦airaland Forum

During my year studying Interpersonal Communications, I was introduced to the work of one of the top researchers in marriage and relationship[code][/code] health, Dr. John M. Gottman. Throughout my post college years, I have kept up with his research. He is most famous for developing a formula that accurately predicts divorce after observing a couple interact with one another for only five minutes!

Here I will describe Dr. John Gottman’s findings through his research on successful, happy couples, as written in his book, The Science of Trust.

1. Matches in Conflict Style.

Most people fall into one of three conflict styles: validators, avoiders, and volatiles. If the ratio of positivity to negativity in conflicts was 5:1, the relationships were functional. However, mismatches in conflict style will increase risk of divorce. The mismatches usually mean one person wants the other to change, but that person is avoiding change. The researchers did not find any volatiles and avoiders matched. They speculate it’s because they don’t get past the courtship phase!

2. Dialogue With Perpetual Issues.

Gottman discovered that only 31% of couples’ disagreements were resolvable! This means the majority of conflicts were about perpetual problems, which was attributed to personality differences (even among similar temperaments). While active listening seems like a good idea in theory, it almost never is practiced or works in real life settings, because if there is any negativity at all, the listener finds that hard to ignore and will usually react to it.

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Do you need a rich sugar mummy from ghana? she is here for you
Hi dear, My name is linda and am 38yrs old from kumasi ghana and am the only daughter of my father.

am hardworking and a, graduate of oxford university, am so romantic and very passionate girl. I love to have fun free time so that then it was something to remember. I love to be outdoors playing badminton and Frisbee .Also I dream to visit different countries in the world.

Am the daughter of the ex-minister of finance in Ghana and i have everything i want at my disposal but my problem is loneliness
I need a caring guy to spend my life with even if he is poor because i know i will change his life,someone i will trust someone i can vow for and not someone that will break my heart

FOR CONTACT AND MORE CONTINUE READING

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Source:https://don9ja..com/search?q=Sugar+mummy

Today we have decided to share some cool Sugar Mummy Nigeria BBM contacts. Some of you have been asking us to share BBM contacts and today we have decided to honour that.

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Get the Contact

Do you and your spouse set aside time once a year to plan for the next 12 months? Making time together for planning, intention, and strategic thought as you move into the future together will bind you closer together and give you shared goals to work toward as a couple. We’ve found that there’s great value in pausing to talk about the direction you’re headed going forward.

The New Year’s celebration might be behind us already, but you don’t have to wait until next January to build a shared vision with your spouse. It’s never too late to dream and plan together, and the beauty is that you can choose any date to do that: your anniversary, a holiday that’s special to you both, or any “normal” day of the week.

To begin building your shared vision, it’s vital to ask yourselves the following three questions:

1. WHO ARE WE AND WHERE ARE WE HEADED AS A COUPLE?
This question isn’t about who you are as individuals, but rather, who you are as a married couple. It’s about your identity as a pair and your dreams for where your relationship is headed in the next year. Answering this question will help you chart your course, then navigate it successfully together.

It can be helpful to focus on where your relationship has been over the past year. If you want to trace back further, you can do that, too (this is especially helpful if you have never built a shared vision before).

Looking into the past will inform the road your relationship is on, and it can help you to identify aspects of, or patterns in, your relationship you need to change in order to set a healthier, happier course.

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Want to learn how to turn her on? well you have come to the right place. What you are about to read will give you different ways to peak a woman’s interest and can even arouse her. No this isn’t about where to kiss her, and different ways to touch her body. We are talking about achieving this without ever laying a finger on her. Non physical attributes play a big role in generating attraction with a woman, and here are 12 that can truly have an impact.

1. Intelligence

For a lot of women, a smart man is a sexy man. Knowledge is power, and it can definitely intrigue a woman. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “nerds don’t get the girls”. Well some do, and the one’s that don’t have allowed other turn offs to overshadow this great attribute. Having the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation can have a very positive affect on a woman and turn her on.

2. Being Considerate

When you do something considerate, that can make a woman feel special. When that happens, that can sometimes materialize into a greater attraction. Being mindful of her feelings and doing small gestures to show her you’re thinking about her can easily win you some points. You’re pouring into her emotionally and that makes her much more receptive to you.

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Sex can be a much more passionate experience when you share it with a meaningful partner. Sex may feel like a mere means of pleasure and fun but there is a lot of good that it can do for your relationship. To some people sex may seem overrated, but we give you five reasons why sex is beneficial for your relationship.

Keeps you connected
Sex is an intimate experience, which can bring you closer to your partner not just physically but emotionally. Your bedroom chemistry can also improve the chemistry in your relationship. A sexless relationship can become vulnerable over time and therefore, you need sex to keep the fire burning.

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Dating can be a bit tricky. It was a lot easier before when gender roles were still clearly defined, but now, it is an entirely different thing. It has now become a lot more complicated.
However, this should not be a reason for guys to just lose hope when it comes to the dating scene. The evolution of the whole dating process does not mean that the objectives have changed. It still boils down to finding the person you would want to court, be in a relationship with, and spend the rest of your life with.
While there are many new things that have replaced traditional practices in courtship, some things also have never changed.

FOR THE GUYS WHO WANT TO LEARN AND GET ADVICE ABOUT DATING, HERE’S A GUIDE THAT MIGHT HELP YOU:

1. MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION
If you are going out on a first date, it is important that you make a good impression. However, you also have to pretend to be someone you are not. You do not have to do something very extravagant to leave a good impression, but you just have to look presentable, be courteous and polite, and of course, be on time. You don’t have to try too hard to impress your date.

2. DON’T FORGET YOUR MANNERS
Remember that a little etiquette can go a long way. Don’t hesitate to give a compliment and mean it. Don’t forget to open the door for her, to pull out a seat for her, to offer your arm when stepping out, and to say “thank you” and “please.” Just make sure that you do not overdo. The goal is that you have to make her feel comfortable and safe.

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Being in a relationship gives you a happy feeling. It gives you this tingling sensation that you can hardly ever explain. It makes you see the world in a whole new perspective, and in a different light.

However, it is not always rainbows and butterflies when you are in a relationship because as much as it can bring you bliss and happiness, it can also make a person miserable, although it depends on the type of relationship you have.

What you need to know is that to be in a relationship, you must understand the concept of commitment because when you are in this situation, there is already going to be another person you must think about. It isn’t just about you anymore. You are going to be sharing your life with someone.

There are just a lot of things you need to learn when it comes to being and handling a relationship. And here are a few pieces of advice you may want to heed.

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Let’s face it, everyone wants a soul mate. Empathic people, however, have a unique struggle in this area.

At birth, we started to utilize our emotions, and every single one of us were allotted the same amount. But there were variances, not in the types and quantities of these emotions, but in the way we feel them. For some of us, empathic people to be exact, our emotions react much stronger than others, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

The empath is someone who understands the unique feelings of another individual. In fact, they feel the emotions as if these were their own, grieving, being jubilant or furious in relation to whatever their friend or loved one is going through. Clear as mud? Nah, it’s pretty simple, actually.

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This is not intended for the guy who wants a one-night stand.

There are books like “The Game” and “The Players Handbook” which can give you great techniques to hook up and end up with an empty life and a roster of regrets. If you want the most beautiful girl in the world on the outside and inside, a girl you would be proud to show off to all of your friends AND family, and a girl to build the foundation of a full life together, then “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart” is for you.
I can’t believe it.

In a few weeks I will be marrying my dream girl. She’s the type of woman who blew all of my expectations and checklists out of the water. I look down at her in my arms, and I know I’ve found the treasure of a lifetime.

She’s so delicate both physically and emotionally. It’s like I’m holding the rarest piece of artwork in the world. I want to treat her gently, speak loving words, and plant kisses all over her sweet smelling skin.

CONTINUE READING

There are a lot of things that straight-sized people do not know about being fat and in love. For instance ― you may want to sit down for this ― fat people can actually simultaneously be happy and be fat.

Mind-blowing, right?
Simple things like this escape the average person so often that you’d think that “fat and miserable” was an empirical fact rather than a harmful and inaccurate stereotype.

What if I told you that not only can fat people be happy, they can also be loved by an array of folks with different body types? That we, too, can have beautiful whirlwind romances and fairytale weddings?

Read more@https://don9ja..com/2018/10/fat-people-and-how-they-show-their-love.html

So you have a new Boo and things have been going pretty smoothly. You have decided that he is a keeper and the two of you are pretty much in sync with one another. It’s been a couple of months and now you ready to take the next step… introducing him to your child. Hold up! Wait a minute, Cowgirl! There are some thing’s that you should consider before going to that rodeo.

1. IS YOUR CHILD READY?

Is your child ready to “share” you? That is exactly what your child will believe they are doing.

If you have one child, like I do, your child may feel like your new Boo is taking your attention, especially if it’s only been the “two” of you for quite some time.

When I mentioned to my son that my “friend” would be coming over, my son quickly informed me “I don’t want a Dad!” To say that I was taken aback would be an understatement.

My son equated any man who came into my life as being a “Dad” and he was having none of it. I think that he was afraid of this new person leaving him like his Dad did. I had to explain to him that I would have men who were friends and that who would also be a friend to him.

They were not trying to be his father but that they would be nice to him. He seemed to understand and like that better. I also made sure that he knew that no matter who came into my life, he would always be my first priority and that I would never love him any less.

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No one likes to be broken and hurt. As sentient beings, we were created with the ability to love and be loved. But what do you do when you love someone and the person fails to return your feelings?
It is important not to focus on disappointment or feel that you have failed somehow. Instead, focus on the opportunity to grow from the situation. Loving someone means you are willing to give and offer a piece of yourself to make another person happier. When this is returned, you will feel wonderful. But when it is not, you will pass through a period that gives you opportunity to evolve — and become stronger. Here is why.

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There are many surprising health benefits of sex such as relieving stress, boosting your immunity, and more.
Sex is not only pleasurable, did you know it's also good for you? It's true. The benefits of sex range from slashing stress levels to lowering your risk of cancer and heart attacks. Sex facilitates bonding and feelings of intimacy with your partner. This kind of connectedness does more than make you feel warm and fuzzy, it actually reduces anxiety and boosts your overall health.
How would you like a stronger immune system or better sleep? Action between the sheets can help you get all of this and more.
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The porn debate is a fierce one. Whether you love or hate it, it’s something many people are embarrassed to talk about for fear of judgement.Society still considers porn to be a predominantly male genre of entertainment and it is often criticised for being too male focused. Big plastic blondes being ‘pumped hard’ by huge c**ks – fake hair, fake teeth, fake boobs and not a pubic hair in sight – but there are a growing number of women who enjoy watching it too, myself included and, perhaps more importantly, a growing number of women who aren’t afraid to admit it either.For those who haven’t watched porn before and are curious to see what the fuss is all about, the bad news is it’s pretty difficult to find ‘good’ porn – with most of it being fairly naff and often basic in its subject and production – a lot of ‘oh yeah, baby, just like that’ which may fool the fellas but isn’t very good at pulling the wool over our eyes.
WATCH INTERVIEW HERE

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar

No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing.

It represents a loss, and losses hurt.

Deep down, I know if I go through with it, I’ll feel freer—well, not right away, but in a little while anyway—but I’d rather crawl under a rock and ignore the whole thing.

When I was a teen, I went out with a guy who had a major crush on me, although I wasn’t attracted to him. After four months, I wanted out, so I completely disappeared! I ignored all of his phone calls, and that was the end of it.

Another time, I hoped that my boyfriend would cheat on me and get caught so I could find a good enough reason to end things, which eventually happened. And in my twenties, since I lived with my boyfriends, I would just keep quiet, letting things drag on. Cowardly thing to do, huh? Yeah, I know.

Later, I realized that I disliked conflict. I was afraid of it. I was afraid of the disappointment it would cause in them and in myself. And most of all, I was afraid of failure.

Today, I’m no break-up wizard. Trust me. It’ll always be hard. But with time, I developed a few thoughts to give me strength to truly voice my unhappiness in my relationships, and they should help you too.

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Source:http://www.don9ja.com.ng/2018/08/06/nine9-things-to-tell-yourself-when-youre-afraid-to-end-a-relationship/

For example, scientists have proved that women are smarter, more intelligent, emotionally stronger and they make better leaders. But beyond these remarkable comparative advantages, it has also been shown that women live longer than men and the difference could be as high as 10 years.

Interestingly, according to a list of verified 100 oldest people in the world, compiled between February 1985 and May 2018,there are 94 females and only six males on the list.

And until August 2018 when a 145-year-old man, Mbah Gotho, was discovered in Indonesia, a French woman, Jeanne Calment had been on record as the oldest verified person of all time, as she lived for 122 years, 164 days, outliving both her daughter and grandson by several decades, before she died on August 4, 1997.

Several reasons have been adduced for women’s greater longevity. From general knowledge, it can easily be assumed that women tend to live longer because men engage in more risky jobs; women tend to be more careful in terms of habits and lifestyle, like smoking and drinking and they are care-givers (mothers) which could make them to be more careful with their lives. And out of these factors, lifestyle is said to be very important, especially when it comes to smoking and drinking, but there is more.

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Want to learn how to turn her on? well you have come to the right place. What you are about to read will give you different ways to peak a woman’s interest and can even arouse her. No this isn’t about where to kiss her, and different ways to touch her body. We are talking about achieving this without ever laying a finger on her. Non physical attributes play a big role in generating attraction with a woman, and here are 12 that can truly have an impact.

1. Intelligence

For a lot of women, a smart man is a sexy man. Knowledge is power, and it can definitely intrigue a woman. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “nerds don’t get the girls”. Well some do, and the one’s that don’t have allowed other turn offs to overshadow this great attribute. Having the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation can have a very positive affect on a woman and turn her on.

CONTINUE READING

In every relationship there are going to be some ups and downs. Hopefully a lot more ups than anything else. However, when conflict arises, you have to embrace fighting fair if you truly want to make progress with an issue. That can be hard when you’re in the middle of the ring, and emotions start getting the best of you. It’s a relationship boxing match ready to go, but if you truly want to “win”, then take heed to this seven steps:

1. STAY IN THE RING

Do not allow your argument to spill out of your house and especially not onto social media. People love to watch fights and they generally don’t care who wins as long as they have their entertainment. Don’t let people use your relationship for their personal entertainment. If you value your relationship don’t put it in the court of public opinion.

2. TRAIN FOR THE FIGHT

Fights are inevitable in relationships so whether you are in a relationship now or you hope to be in one in the future, don’t forget to work on yourself. Before boxers step foot in the ring they spend months training and preparing themselves to reach their goals. If your goal is to have a happy, healthy relationship then you need to first heal from the fights you’ve had in past. Next you need to feed yourself the right things, read books, take classes, go to church and learn as much as you can about being a better you and that is what will lead you to becoming the Relationship Champion of the World.

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Want to learn how to turn her on? well you have come to the right place. What you are about to read will give you different ways to peak a woman’s interest and can even arouse her. No this isn’t about where to kiss her, and different ways to touch her body. We are talking about achieving this without ever laying a finger on her. Non physical attributes play a big role in generating attraction with a woman, and here are 12 that can truly have an impact.

CONTINUE READING

Have you found the woman you should marry? While everyone is looking for different traits in their life partners, there are some essential traits you should seek, from empathy to consistency. These traits help you both to understand and love each other.

Check out 9 signs she is the one you should marry.

1. She is an intellectual challenge for you.

If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, it is important that you find that person intellectually challenging. Looks are fleeting but personality is forever—your conversations together should be interesting, insightful and full of depth. Your partner should be able to challenge your opinions, opening up your mind to new ideas and concepts.

2. She is emotionally consistent.

The woman you should marry should be consistent, rather than volatile. If you struggle to predict your partner’s mood and responses, you may find yourself carrying the burden of your partner’s moods. Your partner shouldn’t transform into a more difficult person after a few months together; they should be fully honest about their feelings and emotional state.

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There are many important questions one should ask when dating. Here are a few:

What do you want from a relationship?

When did your last relationship end?

Are you over your ex?

What are you looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?

What do you believe about God?

Are you a jealous person?

How often do you drink or do drugs?

Source:http://www.don9ja.com.ng/2016/10/20/important-questions-one-should-ask-when-dating/

As more and more research is done on the subject, it’s becoming clearer that having healthy sex is essential to a healthy life. Sex can even help you to live longer. According to Dr. Irwin Goldstein, Director of Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital, if you read the latest research, “you can’t conclude anything else but that it’s healthy to have sexual activity.”

The research being done pinpoints a few specific — and surprising — health benefits that result from having a healthy and active sex life. Healthline examines a dozen of the most proven and interesting findings.

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We reunited after some months and it continued for about eight years when he finally got married to another woman.

I blame him a little and blame myself more because I was scared of unwanted pregnancies then so I always denied him s3x.

Now I got another guy after three years of the breakup, and to avoid the same scenario I let him have his way, just to find out now that he has another lover somewhere else which he denied to me at the beginning of the relationship.

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Have you ever wondered why some men are called ‘ladies men’? These men have attributes women find attractive and that’s the reason they have so many women around them.

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Are you looking to find that seemingly elusive sign that confirms that your man wants to marry you?
Do you feel like you’re ready to move it to the next level and spend the rest of your life with him, but don’t understand why he hasn’t popped the question yet?

Do you worry that everything feels so right between you, but that there’s something holding him back from proposing to you?

Are you simply wondering if it will ever happen?

If so, keep in reading because you’re in the right place…

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I had to laugh at the (seemingly) adorable naiveté of her questions. To think making a man fall in love could be reduced to a simple set of instructions!

Later in the day, I started thinking about her question a little more. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that getting a man to fall in love really can be achieved following a few simple steps. And I was instantly able to pinpoint what they are.

Here you go:

Step 1: Attraction

This is the most obvious step…sparking a guy’s interest always starts with attraction. Being attractive to a guy doesn’t necessarily mean looking like a cover girl, it really boils down to being confident with who you are and what you look like.

It’s important to take care of yourself no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in. Make sure you fit exercise into your life– staying in shape has all sorts of benefits, especially when it comes to the way you look and the way you feel.

Step 2: Go with the Flow

So an attraction has ignited you just start hanging out. You text and talk on the phone here and there, but you’re still in that stage where you don’t quite know where this is going. Just go with it!

Don’t analyze, don’t obsess, don’t plot, don’t stress. And don’t consider yourself off the market just because there’s a guy in the picture that you really, really like. Keep your options open, play it cool, and give him the space to come to you. And stop checking your phone every five seconds to see if he texted. Seriously, stop.

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