₦airaland Forum

The 22 Karat toilet paper the brand claims to be selling for $1,376,900. Before tax, of course. As if the market of lavishly overpriced items without substance wasn’t saturated enough, the Australian Toilet Paper Man claims to hold the key to the 22 Karat TP that they are touting as “the most expensive toilet paper in the world.” Because wiping your booty with the newly minted $100 bill just isn’t enough sometimes.

The product’s description reads as follows

This is the most expensive toilet paper roll in the world. A Quality 3ply toilet paper with 22 carat gold through the roll. As you use the toilet paper 22 carat gold flakes will fall onto the floor and your behind taking you to another level of sophistication. We have only been able to produce 1 roll at this stage. Naturally it comes gift wrapped. This is 100% useable and safe. Made proudly in Australia by us. Please note this is for only 1 roll. The image is for representational purposes only.

Dem dis ones don dey craze finish na...smh!

http://www..com/2013/10/photo-amazing-22-carat-gold-toilet.html

Miss b and co are atimes biased, My posts have never made the front page even when they are original....This is for Front page pls.. https://www.nairaland.com/1482259/olamide-mocking-jesus-new-album#18896597

Olamide has just announced the release date for his highly anticipated forthcoming album, “Baddest Guy Ever Liveth”. He also dropped the album cover which features an Olamide dressed up like Roman Nobel with his crown of olive hand gestures a symbol of peace. But the pose still looks like one Jesus was pictured in one of those photos.


The album will be out on the 7th of November, 2013. So what are your thoughts


http://www..com/2013/10/photo-olamide-mocks-jesus-in-new-album.html

I love your visions and I must commend you guys. I believe you know google adsense and other adservers do not permit wapsites because of such fraud activities. So I wonder why you guys let that happen. I support you guys and would love to work for you guys in anyway i can. All the best guys, I see your dreams come true.

FP please...https://www.nairaland.com/1481112/know-couples-start-taking-each

I bet you did not know that, the honeymoon period lasts for only 3 and half years after marriage. After that, couples start taking each other for granted says a new research.

Is this one more reason why you think marriage is not for you? I have heard someone say, this is one of the major causes of divorce. After all, if you buy a fridge and it stops cooling your drinks, all you will have to do is buy a new one.

According to the research;

After three and a half years of wedded bliss, cuddling up on the sofa in the evening is a thing of the past, with couples more likely to go to bed at different times.



And by this time in a relationship, rather than settling down to enjoy an evening together, the likelihood is that couples will eat at different times, sit in different rooms and zone out of a conversation in favour of watching television.

Kate Jones, of Co-operative Food, which commissioned the study, said:

‘This research shows once they’ve tied the knot, it’s all too easy for couples to start getting complacent and start taking each other for granted”.

I think this even happens if you’ve been with your boyfriend for long enough. The initial days are full of all the hugs, touching and cuddles. But with time, things can get really sloppy and uninteresting, especially in bed.

Once the honeymoon period is over couples often let bad habits take over, and forget to go the extra mile to make each other happy.

‘We all know that it’s the little things that make a big difference, so adding a bit of quality time, like re-introducing ‘date nights’ or enjoying a meal in together, could be a good way to show you care.

‘Bad habits begin to creep into the relationship, such as breaking wind in front of each other, showering less, women forgetting to shave their legs, not closing the bathroom door when using the toilet and leaving the toilet seat up.

This is where I think most of us women fall (married or in long term relationship)

The study also found appearance takes a turn for the worse, with many dressing down in tracksuit bottoms or pyjamas before their partner gets home.

Not bothering with make-up and ditch matching underwear in favour of granny pants also becomes common place.

Additionally, this is the stage when familiarity with each other leads to memory loss regarding events such as wedding anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, Christmas and even birthdays.

Couples also revert to being more interested in spending time with friends than each other.

But despite entering the comfort zone, two thirds of those polled said they still consider their marriage to be ‘strong’.

Do you think this is one of the reasons why most people are running away from marriages and long term relationships? Then again, it takes two to make a relationship work right?

http://www..com/2013/10/do-you-know-that-couples-start-taking.html

front page pls.. https://www.nairaland.com/1481110/associated-airline-crash-agagus-coffin

Following the several events which trailed the Associated Airline plane crash weeks ago, there are now speculations that the cargo craft may have crashed a few minutes after take-off because the coffin it was carrying shifted.

The National Transportation Safety Board (NTBS) after its investigation had reported that the aircraft crashed after it stalled at take-off. Being a cargo aircraft, the sudden movement of its cargo displaced the “aircraft C of G”. The report also indicated that the coffin carrying the remains of former Governor Olusegun Agagu was not strapped.

A source who chose to remain anonymous told Channels Television that the circumstances leading to the crash of a cargo aircraft in Afghanistan, right after take-off, is similar to the case of the Associated Airline plane crash which occurred on 3rd October.

The Director General of the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA), Captain Dele Sasegbon, on Wednesday said that an argument which reportedly ensued between the pilot of the ill-fated flight and the co-pilot indicated that there may have been a load shift.

While speaking on Sunrise Daily, Mr Sasegbon stated that the speculations are not confirmed yet.

Air safety has been ascertained in the past one year, he added.

We have attained a lot of goals that were expected as far as air safety is concerned as the AIB is yet to submit a comprehensive report on its investigations.

However, he attempted to allay the fears of travelers in Nigeria’s airspace, adding that “we have attained total airspace coverage” which means that all activities in the country’s airspace can be monitored.

“As far as I am concerned, progress is being made although it may be slow, he said.

Mr Sasegbon, who said that people have to consider several aspects before adjudging the airspace safe or not, stated that, the first criteria to consider, is that “the aircrafts, flying in our airspace, are safe and we can see them wherever they are.”

“That has been achieved,” he said.

Speaking about the aviation authority’s plans to improve the sector, he disclosed that in the past month and half, the NCAA, has been discussing with other stakeholders about aircraft safety.

We have actually formed the team between the industry and the aviation authority. The team which will begin its work with helicopters has the oil companies in it and is headed by the same.

The team is expected to come out with advisory circulars after the exercise.

However, the said team is not fully established, yet.


http://www..com/2013/10/asociated-airline-crash-agagus-coffin.html

Mods front page material please https://www.nairaland.com/1480175/efcc-gone-broke-cant-pay

The Federal Government’s anti-graft war, which many have dismissed as below average, may even collapse as the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, saddled with the responsibility of prosecuting corrupt men and woman, is now broke. In fact, most senior staff are disappointed in the Presidency.
Investigations by Punch in Abuja on Tuesday revealed that the EFCC had been finding it difficult to meet its obligations to the lawyers handling cases on its behalf.

The most affected are senior lawyers in charge of cases against influential politicians/suspects who are either involved in high profile money laundering or outright stealing.

One of the lawyers, who disclosed this to our correspondent on condition of anonymity, said he and some of his colleagues, were not happy with the turn of events. He said that some of them had not been paid their professional fees for long, adding that this was capable of affecting their performance in court.

“It may interest you to know that we have not been paid for long. I believe that the commission is broke,” the lawyer said.

It was also gathered that the cash crunch had seriously affected the commission to the extent that most of its enlightenment programmes on radio and television stations had been suspended. No money to pay.

The media programmes called Zero Tolerance, is used to educate Nigerians on the evils of corruption in the society. But due to lack of money, these very important programmes have been suspended.

A top source in the commission said,
“It is painful we could be in this mess. Imagine an agency fighting corruption to be financially incapacitated? It is bad. The programmes we suspended were designed to project the commission and also keep Nigerians abreast of the activities of the commission.

“But now, they are dead because we can’t pay the affected stations,"a top EFCC source cried out.
This is very interesting, since President Goodluck Jonathan and all his supporters are always quick to claim that he has not abandoned the fight against corrupt, but Nigerians can see the signs clearly.


http://www..com/2013/10/nigerias-financial-crime-fighters-efcc.html

front page mod pls... https://www.nairaland.com/1479827/nigerians-spend-250bn-medical-tourism

The Secretary of the Organising Committee of the Nigerian Centenary Charity Ball, Dr. Kingsley Esegbue, has said that Nigerians spend an estimated sum of N250bn on medical tourism in a year.

Esegbue, who said this at a press briefing in Abuja on Tuesday, also said that the committee was planning to generate about N8bn for medical facilities in the country.

Esegbue, who spoke on behalf of the committee, said that “it is estimated that Nigeria spends N250bn annually on foreign medical care. This is not good for our country.”

He said that the capital flight was unnecessary for a developing country like Nigeria and asked Nigerians to reconsider their love for foreign hospitals at the detriment of Nigeria’s.

He explained that the medical problems that caused these medical flights could be handled in Nigeria if the facilities were put in place and maintained.

While arguing that Nigeria is blessed with enough manpower in the healthcare sector, he said what was required was for the country to build enough facilities to keep the professionals busy.

He said, “Sealing a hole in a child’s heart need not cripple the parents financially or take place in India; replacing a damaged kidney should and can be done within our borders.

“Every breast, cervical or prostate cancer patient should have access to quality care within Nigeria.

“Our neurosurgery units need to serve the Nigerian people; no woman should have her bladder torn giving birth and for victims of cruel acid attacks, re-constructive surgery should be done within our borders.”

He said this was what the Nigerian Centenary Charity Ball hoped to achieve by equipping existing National Referral Centres for heart, kidney diseases, neurosurgery, cancer care and management.

He added that the initiative “intends to galvanise all Nigerians including Nigerians in the Diaspora for a common good, as our collective gift to Nigeria on her years anniversary.

“We will like to emphasise that in organising the Nigerian Charity Ball, we have chosen to be politically blind because what is at state is our health as a people.”


Source: http://www..com/2013/10/nigerians-spend-over-250bn-annually-on.html

Mod this is for fp pls..thanks https://www.nairaland.com/1479224/sharia-law-kano-state-bans-indecent

Police have orders to arrest any cabbie carrying men and women together in the confined space of the three-wheeled taxis

“The way and manner some of the commercial tricycle operators engage in indecent dressing and carry men and women together is disturbing,” said Yusuf Yola, spokesman for the Hisbah board that is responsible for ensuring compliance with Shariah laws in Kano.

He said such dress, with pants cut off just below the knee like Bermuda shorts, also was “un-Hausa,” referring to the biggest tribe in Nigeria’s north.Usually it’s women who are the target of the Islamic police checking that they have properly covered their heads and limbs.

Yola told The Associated Press on Monday that 10,000 officers will be deployed to ensure the laws are enforced, including “a law in the state which prohibits gender mix in commercial vehicles.”He said officers have orders to stop and search to make sure everyone obeys — including Christians.

In Kano on Monday, taxi driver Jamilu mai Babur, a Muslim, was rebellious:

“I will not comply with this useless order because Shariah is not about violating human rights.”

Jamilu Hisba, another Muslim driver, agreed but said he would have to obey.

“It’s against Islam, this forceful order, but they have power over us so I must comply because this is my means of survival.”

Source: http://www..com/2013/10/kano-state-impliments-sharia-law-police.html

Mods am still asking...pls look at this for fp...https://www.nairaland.com/1409037/8-ways-know-girl-love

Am still asking mods pls do something, it should make fp.. https://www.nairaland.com/1478512/there-beyonce-look-alike-africa-guess#18823631

Mods this just came in please and the man involved is at large: first page please....https://www.nairaland.com/1478610/man-allegedly-kills-wife-acid#18825158

(Viewer discretion strongly advised please)

Sunday Eze 33, from Obiofia Nnewichi Nnewi in Anambra State on Friday 11th October, 2013 went to his father-in-law’s house at Edoji Uruagu to see his estranged 23 year old wife, Ebere Eze (Nee Agwuncha) who had moved back to her father’s house after falling out with her husband.

According to victim’s in-law, Sunday came to the house that Friday and claimed he had recently bought new plots of land he wanted his wife to see. He managed to convince Ebere to go with him to go see the land. Immediately they approached Oraifite/Ichi axis in Ekwusigo Local Government, Sunday Eze turned on his wife, beat her with iron and poured acid on her and further forced some of the acid down her throat.

The lady screamed and attracted some policemen who were passing by the area but by then, Sunday Eze was no where to be found. The policemen rushed her to Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital Nnewi where she later gave up the ghost.

Victim’s in-law said Sunday called his wife’s family yesterday Sunday 13th begging for forgiveness.
Sunday Eze is currently on the run and presently, nowhere to be found.

See more: http://www..com/2013/10/photo-man-allegedly-kills-wife-pouring.html

you all should take a chill pill and see this photo of hers I have... Now tell me they don't look alike huh?

Hi mod..this is a frontpage material pls, do not ignore https://www.nairaland.com/1409037/8-ways-know-girl-love

I have been requesting for front page on Nairaland but have been overlooked. I source for my own blogs and its not fair when I get ignored and someone else copies and the mods take it to frontpage. I;ll try one more time with this https://www.nairaland.com/1478512/there-beyonce-look-alike-africa-guess#18823631

The Nigeria/Ghana born actress released yet another stunning photo that keeps wowing us. She is truly a Beyonce look-alike. You see it? And oh that top is just equally lovely.

See more at: http://www..com/2013/10/photo-yvonne-okoro-stuns-again-in-yet.html

The Senior employees Association of Nigerian Universities
(SSANU) has announced the suspension of its week-long hit.
The suspension of the strike is comprised in a declaration
handed out in Abuja on Friday and marked by the
association’s National receptionist, Mr pledge Ade
usi.
It said that the conclusion to hover the hit was informed by
the government Government’s compliance with the
association’s claims.
“Following substantial compliance to our demand for the
payment of August and September wages of our members
which is the reason for our present nationwide hit action, we
hereby hover the hit and direct all our members to come back
to their duties with effect from Monday, the 14th of
October, 2013.”
The statement thanked constituents of the association for
their solidarity, adding that the non payment of the wages of
its members for work finished would not happen afresh.

Source: http://www..com/2013/10/ASUU-strike-update-strike-is-suspended.html?m=1

hey mod check this out for first page: https://www.nairaland.com/1474992/childnotbride-stella-damasus-tears-speaking-international#18756332

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLet1Nd-47Q&feature=player_embedded
Today, Friday 11th October 2013 is the International Day of the Girl Child around the world. The Nollywood actress turned activist, Stella Damasus has released an emotional video for #ChildNotBride. Her words in the video are touching, she says:

“My heart still bleeds for the millions of girls all over the world who still do not have a voice to speak. They are still given away in marriage even at age 9, no education, no social relevance, no hope for a promising future. I do pray that you will lend your voice and save a child today.”

See more at http://www..com/2013/10/video-childnotbride-nollywood-actress.html

Hi Mods you need to see this i just found...I recommend it for first page... https://www.nairaland.com/1473519/miss-gobbling-iyanyas-balls-nigerian

So I was seering through twitter when I saw Yvonne Nelson's shocking tweets which she immediately deleted claiming she was hacked. These isn't a parody account but her verified account. Still shocking to me guys cos whoever it is not only insulted our celebs but Ghanians too. Maybe she was really hacked who knows?

See more at http://www..com/2013/10/i-miss-gobbling-iyanyas-ballsnigerian.html

One very sad thing I have noticed is if you’re a believer in God and a Christian, taking a position on the pew (being a congregant) does not give you the prosperity and blessings the pastor promises you after sowing all kinds’ seeds and donations to the church.

The limousines and mansions never come forth BUT the moment you take a position in the pulpit, the riches come faster before you can say Jack (that is if you’re very good with good business acumen). Sometimes, especially after struggling so hard and getting so little, your faith begins to waver; you wonder if God is indeed the source of all the wealth….Hmm, the answer is yes! God is the source because we use ‘the’ name to make the money so you’re not defrauding anyone per se but you’re using the sense you’ve been endowed with to create wealth.

Religion is big business. The old orthodox churches were not smart enough to see and thank God for charismatic churches, they have shown the way, the truth and the light to amass stupendous wealth. If life is not going right, why not join the business of starting a church? Just follow this pattern and it shall be well with you.

A salesman must look the part. Don’t dress shabbily to turn worshipers away. If you cannot afford the immaculate suits you see the ‘I’ve made it’ pastors wear, hope is not lost. Bend down boutique is always available (don’t say God forbid, it is only for now).

Look neat and approachable, change the tone of your voice if applicable (you must be smooth). Get your location (very good one), your megawatts speakers irrespective of the number of members you have. Invest in a good sound system. You need to use a microphone that enhances your voice. Then you need external speakers that will declare your presence in the neighborhood. It does not matter if your neighbors are not believers or if they consider it a nuisance. Only those with the spirit of darkness are irritated by the spirit of light.

Grab yourself a title…Dr Apostle Prophet……and by all means, please start the church with women, they always have a problem, even if there is none; they’ll create some for themselves. Start tilling the fertile ground with prosperity messages. Tell them how poor you were until you gave all you have and the blessings started pouring in. Never ever forget the tithe envelopes, they’re extremely important in every endeavor of your business journey.

Now the real deal…

I love prophecies, since it works for me it will definitely work for others. You can NEVER run the church business without the title prophet. So, the first skill you should acquire is to know how to prophesy. You really need to be very skilful to do that. You need to understand the patterns in politics and elections, and then you can accurately foretell the future.

The more general the prophecy, the safer. Politicians die, accidents happen, there’re always flooding, you know, things that are really bound to happen – man-made disasters etc. Christians always believe that anything a pastor says is coming directly from God – so go for little things. One bad prophecy can ruin your business for good. So my advice is, if you are not sure how this works, stick to the miracles. Avoid being specific…remember you have not been called to hear from God.

One sure way to show you have the power of God is to do miracles. Simple things like getting a job, owning a house, and getting pregnant are good raw materials for miracles. However, here you need to be careful not to commit a blunder. Don’t out of desperation announce that a man who has been blind from birth and has never known color suddenly knows which color is green and which is aquamarine. Or something scandalous like a man who has been deaf from birth and does not know any language suddenly can respond to instructions in English from someone he can’t see. Don’t try to raise the dead or fix cripples. Don’t do risky things like declaring you can cure HIV/AIDS. You just cannot come this far to fail just like that.

I will strongly advise you to go for the safer ones; they’re very low risk miracles. Just say to your congregation that someone will get a new car (whether tatty or not, as far as it’s just bought, it’s still a new car) or in a years’ time someone/couple will welcome a new baby. The chances of someone owning that car or having the baby is very high because a lot can happen within a year and that will be recognized as a miracle by the lucky person/s. They are bound to do the appropriate thing and come for testimonies and thanksgiving

Demons and witches are the cause of every evil thing. When someone is barren (after a year of marriage), jobless, single, poor or sick, it’s always familiar spirits attacking them – so keep that in mind. You need to be adept at casting out these demons and witches. You need to show your power. You need to make an impression.

Don’t worry about where you’ll find demons and witches, create one. Torture a ‘devilish’ looking church member into confession (of course you and I know its intimidation tactics). If you’ve got a ‘clean’ heart and cannot just accuse someone of being a witch – just employ someone to testify to your congregants how he/she was drinking human blood and was restored to normality (or converted into a Christian) by the power of ‘God’ in you. That alone will bring in more congregants because remember you’re building a business to yield profits.

When you have been sufficiently blessed and your business has grown substantially, remember to buy that private jet. It does not matter that your congregants chase 'keke' and buses to come to church as well as struggle to pay their tithes from their lean salaries. This is the will of God for you: that you prosper.

And how else can you prove your prosperity if you can’t be wasteful and own a private jet? People will talk, allow them to….it is all envy; they have not reached your level – ignore them.

One thing is you’re above the law and the good book says, ‘touch not my anointed’. Whoever tries to touch you will be attacked by your disciples and followers who cannot stand irreverent people persecuting their leader. Remember you’ve imprisoned their mind so anything you say or do is always right.

A little sowing of seed in my life would not go amiss!

http://www..com/2013/10/gb-special-how-to-run-successful-church.html

This is to inform Students of tertiary institutions for the Students Industrial Work Experience Scheme (SIWES) accredited disciplines that fully participated in the Scheme that the Industrial Training Fund (ITF) has paid their approved allowances.

The allowances of the under-listed students were, however, returned by the banks owing to incorrect Account details.

The affected students are, therefore, requested to re-submit their correct e-payment particulars to their respective schools or to the nearest Industrial Training Fund Area Office.

In addition, Students who participated fully in the Scheme but have not been paid should submit their bank details to enable ITF settle outstanding allowances due to them.

The e-payment details required are:

Name of Bank
Account Name
Account Number (10 Digits)
Bank Sort Code (9 Digits)
Year of Attachment and Matriculation Number
Name of Institution and Course of study

The above information should be submitted to the nearest ITF Area Office Nationwide on or before 30th September, 2013 and copy the following e-mails finance@itf-nigeria.com or fieldservices@itf-nigeria.com

Signed

Management

To get the name of your School to download and view the list, please click HERE http://www..com/2013/09/payment-of-students-siwes-allowance.html and you can check the unsorted list if you can't find your name in your School list:

Just few days back, Cossy Orjiakor took to twitter to reveal she was proposed to with the story hitting the web and many blogs carrying it but the gist reaching www..com is that she was actually proposed to but was just some hoax, some sort of party pranks.


The photo of Cossy being proposed to by one Emeka was posted online with many shocked at the revelation as her image has raised so many doubts if a decent man will ever propose to our dear Cossy. We gathered that Cossy was having a good time with friends at Vertigo bar, Elegushi when Emeka made the joke gesture. Calls from peers and family has made Emeka come out to reveal he never proposed to Cossy and it was only some prank a source tells .

Pheewww! I really thought she's been snapped up and people would stop slandering her but it seem she continues to be hat attention seeking b***h and we'll get her the attention.

Source: http://www..com/2013/09/cossy-orjiakors-engagement-was-prank.html