₦airaland Forum

Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "F^CK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)"

Billy shakes his head as YES.

Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a cock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel."

Billy shakes his head YES.

He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight.

When he gets there he askes this guy...

"Could you hold my bum and f^ck it while I get my cock and spank it"

ebony fanx, i appreciate

bummi fanx jhoor as 4 u larride, IGNORED!

A pastor and a church
sister were Being
Intimate
under a tree,not
knowing,a smoker was
up
on the tree hiding &
smoking. After the act,
the sister asked the
pastor, did u use
condom?
Pastor: no!!!! why?
Girl: supposing i get
pregnant who will take
care of the baby?
The pastor replied,``let's
leave it to the one
above. Suddenly the
smoker jumped down
and shouted,U DEY
CRAZE? LEAVE WETIN 4
WHO?
NA ME bleep AM?




An old farmer wrote 2
his son in prison.
Dis year I wont b able 2 plant
potatoes cos I can't dig the field,
I knw if u wer here u
would help me.
D son wrote back, Dad,
dont even think of diggin d field
cos dat's where I buried d money
I stole.
The Police read d letter & d next
day d
whole field was dug by
police lookin 4 d money but
nothin
was found.
D following day the son wrote
again,
Now plant ur potatoes,
Dad..It's the best I can do frm
here...




A man and his wife were in court
for divorce,
the problem is who gets the
custody of the child.
THE WIFE... jumps up and says,
your honour I brought the child
into this world in pains and
labour, he should be in my
custody......
The Judge turns to the husband
and asked what he has to say.!
THE MAN.. then said calmly "your
honour, if I put my ATM card into
an ATM machine and cash comes
out... whose cash is it....... the
MACHINE OR MINE











A naija lady dat married
a chinese guy were
lucky 2 have a baby girl
after 9months of
marriage.
But after 3months d baby died
and the mother of the
nigerian lady came to
visit them,
but she was just shouting;
i knew it! i knew it!
i knew it! I knew it!
I knew it! I knew it!, And so on.
And then a man that
noticed her shouting, now
called her outside and
asked her wat she
knew and she replied; i
knew that china
product does not last!!! Nawa
oo!!!

wetin dy work una sef e mata weda e copy paste d joke sofa e funi, i laff. CRITICS

wow, i lyk dis, exactly how it is, nyc summary

imagine say arsenal win champions league n premier league

imagine say denrele na ur babe broda

imagine say person wan use lifejacket enta hot tub

imagine say weird mc get belle

which kind april fool be dat, i go commit murder den tell police say na pril fool

mtchewww! u shud be taken 2 congo 4 rehabilitation. IDIAT!

n d.banj 2,i 4got 2 mention his name

A Lawyer and a Jamaican...
A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy...
So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500..'

This catches the Jamaican's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
'What's the distance from The Earth to the moon?'
The Jamaican doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Jamaican's turn.
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all the references he knows.
He uses the air-phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.
After one hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes up the Jamaican and hands him $500.
The Jamaican pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.
He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The Jamaican reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.


[are you sure that guy isn't a Naija guy?]

my brova, fanx 4 makin dis known. davido shud av bin 1 of dem

wtf1 dis guy z nowhere close 2 mah mentor

na2 much of nigerian film cause am.hez such a fool

lwkmd! dis z damn funi

john got banned 4rm NL 4 lyf 4 postin dis

so u xpect us 2 laff 2 dis kay! abeg mk person tickle me mah laff

okpeketeish

girl, e nor pain me,i tell u sumfin u no wan believe, wetin u want mk i talk

vivly,i swear on ur boyfrnd's second girlfrnd's greatgrand moda's grave, i didnt post dis

ami

haznt she watched club rock by durella, y she no tweet abt dat 1

meant lmao

jmao! dis z really funi

azin ehn! d joke dry ni, i shame 4 u

b4 y'all kill me, lemme xplain abeg. i didnt post dis, my kid bro did, he wanted 2 try it out so i let him. mk una no vex abeg [color=#770077][/color]

dat awkward moment wen u read dis thread nfind out dat itis really awkward

U USE EXPO WRITE WAEC. U KAN GO GIVE TESTIMONY 4 CHURCH u fit put star 4 gun shoot am cuzu hear shooting star u wan do openin prayer 4 nyt club? life jacket 4 hot tub? cuz nicki minaj call ha self bitch u kan go call ur girlfrnd bitch,i sori 4 ur face in stitch u tink say waffle na dog name? u tink say sushi na chinese man name? u go nyt of a thousand laff,basket mouth kan crack joke u kan say lol instead of u 2 laff d laff u wan send text with private number/ ADD URS PLZ N KIP D FUN FLOWIN

simply tell her:ineed 2 dump u,just give me 5mins

r we suppose 2 laff or sumfin if yes, abeg tickle me mk i laff

u don cum bk 4rm travel? ANSWERNo i still dey der dey wait 4 ur permission 2 cum bk

u don wake? ANSWER:No i still dey bed dy dream