₦airaland Forum

Completely agree....

TonyeBarcanista:
I am sick and tired of Newspaper prosecution and Newspaper defence. The report of the auditors are on Buhari's desk, he should work on it and stop disturbing our peace.

We are talking of Nigeria's $20billion or $10billion here. Though I find the allegation to be illogical but I will not shy from eating my words if indeed there was a theft of our money. Nevertheless, whether $20billion or 20kobo, all those that looted Naija should be prosecuted. All those claiming innocence should tell investigators and the Judge.

Enough of media trial and media defence!

Thanks a million, well articulated and helpful.

MizMyColi:
Megawax8

There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.

He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.

I advise people to live in this moment.
Live in the NOW...

Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right?
Then Break up.

Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.

Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?

Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.

Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.

Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day.
But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.

Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.

thanks

aircoolice:
Ǖ definitely still have sometin dangling in each others heart jst keep trying ǖ jst can't tell and most importantly ƪ tink ǖ should work on those event dat is bringing abt a distance btw ǖ two. Its no gonna b easy ƪ must say bt jst give it a try

hmm... Long story, you'll have to read through the post again and then the comments.

IbokUtoroh:
so what is d problem?

lol, thanks

petiteee:
@ bolded,pls try competitive advantage using the BGC matix or porter' thank me later

How about if I was your brother?

ummahmat:
bros kill urself

Thanks it helped a great deal.

Mstrsheikh:
Well bro truth is when love and emotions are still involved it's very very difficult to break away. Coz that pain after words no be here at all. You must decide 100 percent you are willing to let her go and imagine how you would feel if you see her with another guy. if you can stomach all this fine! And be productive as a human being better! But 3years is a long time my nigga, create a distraction ( you'll d have to figure that out my babe may be reading my comment lol) a distraction that will take your mind off her then start withdrawing little by little till you reach your comfort zones free of emotions. Hope this help. It sounds wicked tho to your lady but you still need to be there for her through all this. Goodluck

Yeah, I think so...

defendedvictim:
do u really have to break up?

Most times, very true, especially when its a first you have to initiate formally.

damola1:
Guys can't seem to stand on their feet when they want to break up. Girls will go ahead to break up most times...

Thanks, Very helpful... Hard truth.

Adanna28:
I think you've been "over it" for awhile now, tried the best you can.

Best to be firm with her, cut ties and end it, since she trying to force you to be with her, it no longer love but desperation and control.

You will keep going through circles till you get to the point you despise n loathe her. She not your wife, you owe her nothing.

I'm sure you tried being gentle with trying to cut ties but she not listening. Be firm and honest, if she continues pleading/begging just walk out.

You got to be cruel to be kind at times, later on she will understand, it was best for the long run.

san316:
You hv told her you wanted to break up already. But don't do that. Marry her. You hv been dating for too long and I think you hv seen too much of each other without any strong commitment in place.

Once again, marry her.

hmm...Thanks

dovetark:
Lol, no matter how serious a situation is, when humor is thrown at me, I can't help but laugh... which I am doing right now. but at the end of the day bro, the problem won't be solved. So you can share an experience on how you ended a relationship with a girl before and I can learn from it. I haven't formally initiated a break up before and that is why I ask.

Same goes to you @Pennah

I have to take this time out to thank every one who has contributed in one way or the other to this post. I will read through all the comments as they come in as they've been very helpful. Thank you once again.

Thanks

gentlesinna:
Hahahahahaha u are what I call a real man.tanx for not bashing me.
Back to d topic
I dnt Rilli knw d kind of advice am goin to giv u bcs I hv never ever ended a relationship smoothly.i hv dated seven girls nw nd dey all ended up wit quarry nd fiting.d last girl I broke up wit we almost exchange blow.
So u see my guy I hv never had a smooth ending relationship

Thanks.

creepsyme:
dnt worry bro the relationship will die a natural death but if u want to fast foward it, start seeing anoda girl and dats it. good luck!

Thanks a million, this was helpful.

Drfinn:
OP, obviously your in a fix. You have invested much in this relationship, letting go seem difficult more so due to her refusal to end the affair. Times like this call for sober reflection.

You need to ask yourself what you truly want in life. Keep emotions aside and her insistence on continuing the relationship. This is your life. It's about your happiness. Talk to yourself. You did mention how incompatible it was at the beginning what went wrong? Did any of you cheat? Did the other party genuinely forgave if it happened? Is there some distance or some one in the picture? Can you both despite several attempts salvage the relationship? These and many more you should ask yourself.

You should realize that familiarity has a way of robbing relationships off its thrills and joys. Time test all relationships, this could be one of those times. It's pretty difficult these days finding a compatible partner. However, that doesn't mean you should endure a relationship. It should be enjoyed. You might consider having a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes you need to be apart from those you love to truly value them. Wish ever decision you take know that you have the right to be happy!

Nelgenius4me:
There comes a time when relationship will put a person in a downward curve- but if you are at the Base of your relationship and it is going no where, I strongly advise you kiss goodbye. Sometimes it is better to remain as friend and relish the good memories than being in marriage and suffer trauma. Stop holding long onto relationship that isn't giving you joy.

Thanks, helpful.

Adaahjacob:
Just b careful and follow u'r instincts..... Advice from ppl now will do u no good honestly, decide for yourself and finally u gon excel.

Thanks, I need it that's why I asked for it. I have no problem with filtering information that is useful to me and discarding the ones that are not. Thanks helpful.

Quinnlee:
maybe u shud discover d energy or d impulse dat was alive at d early stage.Complacency happens even in marriage but we don't just give up.Try and rebuild ur relationship since a part of u and part of her wants 2still try.

Thanks, helpful.

grocery:
Maybe the both of you should try and talk things out, then tell her your mind that you are no longer interested in the relationship. Don't know if it will be difficult for you, call her face to face and tell her your mind, allow her to say hers as well, then conclude by telling her you are no longer interested.

Thanks, helpful.

gohzieh:
Bro! Yea stuffs happen and you see reasons why you can't continue with her.
Get a new hobby, even if its starting a course, or learn a new trade that will occupy your time that way you will distant yourself from her. I beleieve you spend so much time with that is why your emotions are tied. See her once in a week, once in 2weeks, if she asks tell her you travelled,or your new hobby is not giving you time enough.

Thanks, helpful.

progresson:
Guy when u wanted to go into this relationship and when her body and package dey sweet u u no bother imforming us. Now u don fall her orange and package finish u wan give excuse Run.. Lie lie no way. No just put asunder to wat u don join 2geda. Relationship is a semi-marriage, hence for better for worse.

Lol. Thanks all the same

funkymatics:
ok. see me finish syndrome is disturbing u. you never loved her in the first place you only like her but now situations have opened your eyes to see that she's better off being your friend and not your love. when u love some one its unconditional but when you like someone its cos of what you see in her which you must continue to see, however, nothing last forever.

solution: release the babe by making her know you just liked her. my own opinion.

I Loved her and Still do... But conditions have made the feelings dwindle.

Thanks, your comment is helpful.

ZuzuMan:
simple !

Lol, this would take too much energy from me. I am mostly a one woman man.

mcnepow:
I actually do not have any advice for a grown man that doesn't know how to end a relationship..


Today marks my 10th year on NL

I would appreciate as much Likes as possible for me!

Thanks, we all have our deficiencies.

megawax8:
first, you have to decide if you want to stay or leave, then,


you just leave or stay.


Truth is no matter how long the epistle anyone writes on advicing you to do either, you'd end up doing just that you have resolve to do.

What do you truly want?

Thanks helpful, @bolded Fact, but all these epistles would influence the resolve I would take finally.

Oliviaarims:
Lalasticlala,Farano,pls,help him with this by pushing it to FP..

Well,well...I feel sad for this story. Looks like a beautiful relationship going down the drain..after how long..3 years? That's something! It's obvious a break up is inevitable,since u've always suggested it. So it's best u get it over and done with ASAP...U've postponed too long. If u guys want this relationship to get somewhere,u'd only realise it being apart.. not as a couple. That's the only time both of u will be able to objectively decide on what u want,find out what went wrong and how to fix it...But the breakup's got to happen. Ur gf ought to understand. At least she can see for herself that the spark's gone...there's no need clinging to a dying flame. U either make a new fire or go out there to find out how to rekindle the dying one..sth that'd keep it burning for a real long time.
Just make her understand all these. Tell her the relationship isn't working anymore.And yes,u'll be hurt...u'll wonder if breaking up was the best solution,but u'll get over it if u decide to. If she still refuses to understand,then perhaps u'd have to take measures to enforce the break up and keep her away.




Mind u,break up only if u think the relationship is never going to be salvaged by sticking together.

Well, well... Look who we have here, the brain behind my post making fp by calling on the gods in charge Thanks a million. BTW I followed you and will appreciate a follow back from such genius.

To the subject matter, I feel sad for my story too cause I thought this will lead somewhere. Although the fact that we might not end up together doesn't necessarily mean the story won't have a happy ending, who knows? It could even be for the best as no man really knows what lies ahead of him. You are quite realistic, as hard as it may seem, we need to go down the road as that might be the only way we could appreciate each other better.

Thank you so much.

Sweetyie:
op dnt end it na, u guyz shud go 4 a holiday or trip

I swear I have been looking forward to that, but right now economy bad... Thanks really helpful.

Oluwapresley:
Sometimes, ''officially'' ending a relationship doesnt mean ur out of the relationship. Sometimes, u just find out ur more in the relationship and more connected even if ur officially not in a relationship.
Simply put, ma nigga, work that sh*t out cox from what I read, it doesnt look like u guys are tryna work nothing out. U dont care about ur bullshit no more

Thanks, helpful!

BTT:
Op, please one quick questionh

Is a woman - another woman - now involved?

Honestly?

Lol Question for the gods, even if she tells me no, how will I know?

Jabioro:
Your case is simple,you love her and that is what is killing you...and when die or life get damage both physically and spiritually then you realize you have atimes sweet thing leave or you leave as this case .be a man take off every your mind including the past..she is not existing character. I Lean such simple technical from my little girl when her mother left me..and today am enjoy..close your heart and heart bros.in order to be focus in life need be blind.

Hmm... thanks.

Abbykem:
All you need is open communication. You guys should sit down and and talk about your happiness and what you want. If that does not work, you can limit d way u chat and talk on fone

I have initiated that severally, but that hasn't been effective. Thanks your advice is helpful.

acxlers2014:
I know what you as I have gone down that toad before.... " life indeed happens".

I am a proponent of relationship as it is a tough decision to get into one and maintain one. Relationships should be built on the foundation of Love and total loyalty and If you agree with me Sir, that is a tall order especially with so many distractions out there. When the spark begins to diminish it does not mean that you have stopped loving and a break up is not neccesarily next option.

What is pretty obvious from your thesis is that - she won't let you go as she seems to be keen to seeing this through to marriage.

I don't know what happened you guys but this is gonna be a big one for you.

If I may ask? What actually happened? Why do you want to break up?

Thanks your articulation is amazing... In summary, when I was going through a tough period in my life, I was pretty much self-absorbed and withdrawn, she said she got used to it and her attention and care towards me dropped greatly. For me, detail is important as I am very sensitive and when that is missing, essence is lost. Now she expects me to cope with her new attitude as I made her turn out that way.