₦airaland Forum

hmmm. . .aren't you a bit on the old side for this website?

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

(Puff Puff girls retreat to corner again as they call for next contestant)

(Militia enters. He is decked in war paraphernalia like a commando soldier. He backs into the room as if talking to people outside#~)

Militia: If you move . . .I will grenade launch you. Oi, stop there. I chance you, so wetin dey happen. You know how long you Nigerians have been chancing Niger Delta.

(He makes as if to unleash his grenade launcher)

Militia: You for come na. . .I go fire your head. I am ready to kill una Aunty and una Uncle. Good. You will fear fear.

(As he turns to face Benny and Tayo with his hands still on the launcher, Benny and Tayo raise their hands in apparent surrender)

Benny: We mean no harm mehnnnn. .

Militia: Dem Papa . . . .Dem Mama ooooooooooo

Tayo: We surrender

Militia: Haba. . . wetin happen, why are you people raising your hands like primary school children? And what do you mean by you surrender?

Benny: Its alright mehnnn. . .I am a brother of the struggle.

Militia: Aren’t you two, Benny and Tayo?

Tayo: Jesus, whoever sent you, we will pay triple

Militia: DEM MAMA DEM PAPA OOO. . . You two should man up jo. Yoruba man too dey fear sha.

Benny: Its easy for you to say mehnnnn. . .

Militia: Na wa. . .I came here for audition na. I am Militia, the singing MILITANT. As I shoot down the forces of oppression, I sing along. DEM MAMA DEM PAPA OOO. That is how I got my name. . .the singing MILITANT.

Tayo: You mean you are actually here for the audition?

Militia: Yes na. . .Na for the audition I come na.

Benny: Phew. . . Jeez, you put the fear of god in me mehn

Militia: hehehehehe. . .This no be creek na. I reserve my militancy for the creeks. Right now. . .I am on Make Love Not War.

Tayo: Hmmm. . the singing Militant. It has promotional possibilities.

Militia: That’s right. . .DEM MAMA DEM PAPA OOOO

Benny: Why don’t you leave their fathers and mothers alone mehn and sing for us.

Militia: haaaa. . .One Love. . .

DEM MAMA OOO. . .DEM PAPA OOO
YOU KNOW SAY MY NAME NA MILITIA
BORN TO FIGHT THE STRUGGLE IN THE DELTA
PEACE TO MY FELLOW BROTHERS
SUPER MILITANTS IN GBARAMATU
GOVERNOR OF BAYELSA AND RIVERS
PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC
YOU FIT DEY FIGHT US BUT WE STILL LOVE YOU
MY PAPA. . . FOR THE LOVE YOU SHOW ME

EVERYBODY SAY KURUMA YEYE. . .KURUMA YEYE
EVERYBODY SAY KURUMA YEYE. . .KURUMA YEYE
DEM MAMA DEM PAPA OOOO
KURUMA YEYE KURUMA YEYE.

Tayo: Jesus is Lord.

Militia: Yea man. . . .one love. . .Praise to the almighty Ja

Benny: Yeah. . .tell him your answer mehn

Tayo: Ermmm. . .you tell him

Benny: But I told the last one first mehn

Tayo: I don’t think so.

Militia: Na wa. . . .Yoruba dey fear like this sha. Look, its not a matter of life or death to join you people. . .In fact, I make enough money from bunkering and kidnapping to launch myself. So if you no like me. . . .talk now, or else I go kill all them mama and papa

Benny: Okay. . .Dayo, tell him mehn.

Tayo: Jeez. . .Kenny you have no balls. Okay Militia, it’s a no.

Militia: You say wetin? Did you just tell me no?

Tayo: Yes.

Militia: No wahala na. . . .Its okay. Nothing spoil. I will head back to the creeks now. But watch out. . . You will hear of the Singing Militant. One Love to ALL. And make sure you love yaself.

(Militia exits with his paraphernalia and Puff Puff girls come to the fore)

PP1: Dem Mama oooo

PP2: Dem Papa oooo

PP3: hehehehehehe. . .So B-Daddy, I never knew you were a supporter of the Delta struggle.

PP1: walahi. . .Americana don wan piss for pant.

(They are rolling over laughing again)

Benny: So is this the going to be the routine mehn. . . .Some crazy dude runs in here and you come out to laugh at us afterwards right.

Tayo: Leave them Kenny. At the end of the day, we shall see who is laughing.

PP2: Kai. . you people are stubborn oo, . . Instead of you to just concede and hire us. We can sing and we are not crazy.

PP3: And we will not give you poisonous dodo or launch grenades at you.

Benny: Whatever mehn. . . .the day is still long and I have hope that there are some sane people in this country mehn.

Tayo: Sane and can actually sing.

PP1: Okay oo. . .we shall see. Girls lets go and watch the show

(PP girls exit while a next contestant is called)

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO!!! I have just had to learn to ignore the trash-talkers, to concentrate on saying what I have to say on issues

On the housing , I did have a debate with @Doyin23(I believe that is it) on the government needing to look into the issue NOW and not two or ten years from today when the population is expected to hit the 25 million mark. And I am glad to see that the government is not sleeping on the housing issue.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-431355.320.html

Oiiiiii. . . .Get the name right will ya.

(Puff Puff girls advance towards the pair)

Puff Puff no.1: Hellooooo. . . .You people should be careful oo

Benny: Say what mehnnn?

PP2: What we are saying is you shouldn’t make it so obvious you are a JJC.

Tayo: And what makes you think we are naïve jolly just comes?

Puff Puff no.3: (laughs coquettishly) I see your voice has some little jand to it. . .

Benny: Yeah mehn. . . we have been away in the states for some time now mehn

(The Puff Puff girl stare at each other quizzically. . . like his accent sounds ridiculous)

(Puff Puff girls dismiss him and turn to Tayo)

Puff Puff girl no. 1: So how long have u been away for

Tayo: We’ve been away for a few years now ladies. . .First studying and then a little work and now we are back home in earnest.

The other power puff girls: WOW.

Benny: Yeah mehn. . . we coming back to our country to do something big ladies. We are about to be big hitters mehn

Puff Puff no.2: Why are you putting mehnnnnnnnnn at the end of everything you say?

Benny: Because that’s how we do it up in the states mehnnnnnn.

Puff Puff no. 2: Na you know oo. . .But what is this big business you people plan on doing?

Benny: We are going to transform the music business like never before baby. . .

(Puff Puff girls look at him dumbfounded. They turn together to look at Dayo)

Tayo: Yes Ladies, we are about to do something mega Naija style

(The Puff Puff girls start to laugh hysterically)

Puff Puff girl no.2: na wa for una oo.

Puff Puff girl no.1: You mean to tell me you went to the states mehnnnnn. . .and all you came back with is ideas to do music business.

Puff Puff girl no.2: Una don tell una papa and mama?

Tayo and Benny: No.

Puff Puff girl no.1: But what did you go to Yankee for ehn. Don’t you know graduates from abroad are in serious demand here.

Puff Puff girl no.2: Yes na. . .You can do any yeye degree abroad and be ahead of any graduate from any school in Nigeria.

Puff Puff girl no.3: So did you people do Music degree at least?

Benny and Tayo: No

Puff Puff girl no.1: So what did you do then?

Benny and Tayo: History

(Puff Puff girls laugh hysterically again)

Puff Puff girl no.1: Wait first. . . . .U mean to tell me, you left this country to go and study History. . . HISTORY !!!!!!

Puff Puff girl no.3: You girls should wait now. . .maybe they did it at masters level

(Benny and Tayo shake their head)

Puff Puff girl no. 1: Na wa. . .you boys should have stayed in obodo oyinbo o.

Puff Puff girl no.2: They should flog you sef for wasting opportunity.

Puff Puff girl no.3: Do you know how many people would fight for the opportunity to go to Yankee .

Tayo: So what do you ladies think we could have studied?

Puff Puff girl no.1: Ahn ahn . . . anything to do with Petroleum

Puff Puff girl no.2: Business and computing

Puff Puff girl no.1: Engineering

(They all face PP3 waiting for her contribution)

PP3: (stuttering slightly) well. . .girls don’t you think we are a bit too hard on these boys. They are many ways to make money you know.

PP1: so you agree to this whole music nonsense. So you will carry your future husband to your father’s house and when he asks. . .(in a mocking elderly tone) ‘’my son, what do you do for a living’’, he will answer (in a mocking Jamaican tone) me, I am an EN-TER-TAI-NER,

PP2: (in a faux American tone) yeah pops. . .I am a hip hop star pops

(The Puff Puff girls laugh heartily among themselves)

(Benny and Tayo stare at the PP girls mindlessly)

PP1: Haba. . .why una dey look like Lukman?

PP2: abi. . .you are no more interested in being Nigeria’s Puff Daddy?

Benny: You know mehn. . . We are going to prove you ladies wrong mehn.

Tayo: Yes Ladies. . . .you will be hearing a lot about us.

PP1: I will believe it when I see it.

PP3: Anyway . . .wat are your plans?

PP2: Abi . . .you expect your musical empire to conjure from thin air.

Tayo: Jesus. . .you really take us for fools. . .

PP1: Well you are making a great case for that.

Tayo: We are holding auditions ladies. We are looking for Nigeria’s mega star?

PP3: Like Fela

Benny: Hmm. . .I like that mehnnn. Like Fela. A modern Fela mehnnnn.

Tayo: You know B-Daddy. . . .

PP1: Ogini. . .what did you just call him?

Benny: That’s my new star name ladies. . . .B-DADDY (he announces this with relish to the audience)

(The PP girls are laughing at him again.). . . . . . .

Yes ooo. . .I am a bit chuffed. This is the first piece of work I have completed.

Its a parody of the Naija music scene. . . .so basically I take the p.iss out
of a few famous music personalities. But all in good fun.

I wanted it to be a musical, but I am tone deaf so la di da di da.

But pockets willing, I shall be staging it somewhere. So watch out 

lol. . .But is this strictly a poverty/illiteracy issue?

Many cults in the western world have amongst
their members well educated and sucessful people.

UNA GO FEAR FEAR

POMPEY ARE WINNING THIS ISHHHHHH. . .

Ahn Ahn Jesoul. . . .You are H-A-P-P-Y ooo .

I guess you are confident the Celts are going to close
out.

Well. . .IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

There is going to be a lot of spacing out
and Bron Bron will have his way all nite.

So, hear this. I found myself in Abuja recently, and what’s a girl to do when in the Federal Capital Territory? Why, plant herself smack on the scene of the hottest politico-romance this side of the equator, of course! I was at the choicest birthday party thrown by a lady whose ‘incandescent beauty’ – her own description – may just put her in the gubernatorial seat come 2011. Becoming governor wouldn’t faze you either, if you were the heiress of the perennial political dynasty in your state.

When it comes to consolidating political power, this lady is first rate. She’s even forged an unbeatable alliance with one of the most high profile politicians in the country, a top citizen. Is it down to her political astuteness, the trusty dynasty or that famous incandescence? None of the above. The answer’s good old bottom-power.

You wouldn’t think any of it was possible, what with the permanently expressionless face of this ruby-lipped beauty, a member of many a Senate committee. She’s in the upper house and he’s a big mover in the lower one. She likes them young and he likes them, shall we say, on the mature side? I guess you could say they’re perfectly matched. As for liking older women, it’s somewhat ironic, considering his political rise was seen as a triumph for the younger generation. You know, the ones Babangida says aren’t fit to rule. I suppose he would know, eh?

Back to Romeo, whose piranha-toothed gnasher of a smile has done nothing to deter the ladies, who swoon at his British Public School accent. Even a hastily acquired wife has done nothing to dampen the flames of his romance with our lady Senator. This is one love-match that’s going all the way to Panama.

But a romance is an uncertain thing in politics. Our incandescent beauty was reminded of this recently when she threw a party at her exclusive Abuja mansion, where the whole street knows what’s going down with her and the doubly-blessed lawmaker. To throw people off the scent of her wild romance, our lady took the unusual step of inviting her lover and his wife! No sooner had the swaggering politician arrived and lady Senator set aside discretion. She was all over him, making a show of what we weren’t supposed to know. To be honest, he wasn’t resisting. And so the long-suffering wife lost her usual reserve and angrily pulled her husband from the grasp of his simpering lover. Husband and wife left the party with ‘automatic alacrity’, leaving our lady to contemplate a night alone.

I wouldn’t write her off, though. Here’s a romance that spans North and South, going from Central to West. It’s a hook-up that could produce His-and-Hers gubernatorial thrones in 2011, two states run from the same bed. Wow, that would be one hell of a pillow talk. They asked them to make law but they’re busy making love. I guess they call it Chamber Sex. This is a family newspaper, so I shall say no more.

http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Opinion/Columns/5567299-146/story.csp

[quote author=~Bluetooth link=topic=444287.msg6026352#msg6026352 date=1273701564]Are you a pdp member ?[/quote]Lol. . far from it. . . .The same criticism goes
for every bloody political officer in the whole country.

I hate such ceremonies. Why the hell is Jonathan going
to Rivers to launch a power plant and at wat cost.
I can imagine the tab for such a visit would be no less
than a billion.

The project is most welcome. It is pretty sad it has taken
this long and the longest stretch of the expressway has
been served by only one bridge for this long. So I have nothing
but the highest praise for the project.

But why so much fanfare over run of the mill projects.

Only God knows how much some ar.se hole charged
for canopies, aso ebi, renting crowds etcetera.

I suspect this bridge has been ready for some time
but it was not opened because they wanted to gain
as much political leverage from it as possible.

I must be crazy ooo. . .but I actually fancy them more without make up.

Blemishes. Blemishes. . . Absolutely love them.

Charlize Theron still stunning even without cover sha.

Continued from
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-173006.3168.html

lol. . .Spurs will be having a headache the next time they hear
''Goran Dragic''

Gaddamit. . . he was on FIRE!!!

Inside, outside, left hand right hand . . . . Mehn the boy
chop winch before today game.

As for the Spurs, they basically got beat by the Sun's
second unit and in the 4th quarter. Nash sat down
until the game was practically won while Dragic and Barbosa
tore through the Spurs.

gaddamit!!!!!!!!

@Babapupa.

You make it sound like inefficiency and poor service is the preserve of the FG alone.

If the BRT is anything to go by, then any airport project might well end up being
beset with the same issues affecting MMA.

This is more than a beatdown. . .Its an annihilation

i hear the okota link bridge will be commissioned next tuesday

so for ur mind now, u don score.

sotay you forget the purpose of the thread.

lol. . .but y people dey enter the guy like this na.

I know lots of guys, me included wouldn't mind
having that kain body.

I have a snag feeling she might be Asa in real life.

He eats dogs.

@Israelite. . .

Like I said before, nuffing do you at all.

Na just the boxers and the multiple button and metal
jeans. .

Then that your head. . .maybe na chleioplasty go sort am out.

Well. . .the belle. its okaay. but e just be like say you hunger.
make you try chop up some more.

Oh yes. . .the arms. Ol bob, you need just put small biceps to
complement the triceps

And the back. . .

Abeg, I tire sef.

Missy B:
I have no reason to quote You, actually. Hehehehe
This is actually a trick to check Your profile, as I'm in need of some Eye candy tonight.

Doyin sweerie . . .me sef wan get 6 pack. Werrin I go do?

For women. . .Na plenty periwinkling oo. . . Make you dey
collect Kondo on the regular

The thing fo hammer six pack comot by force.

arkinses:
I doubt, his head is not flat.

@Israelite. . .

No mind them. . .Your body is good jare. And if you got it flaunt it.

y me:
half body

You be spanish. . .

Why are u assuming I can't answer your question?