The best is condom but your wife is deceiving you that it is painful. Go and ask at a family planning clinic. Indiscipline would not kill you.

I need suggestions but nobody has given me positive suggestion. The fact that she always insist that I pay money is why I would never do so. The children are doing fine. She only want my money to use
as extra to be travelling or making people believe she does not need a man. She should be happy that I care about my children even if I don't pay. Some men don't even ask after their children but all this one knows is money. If I don't have money, does that mean I'm not the father? Her plan will not work. Those abusing me, I'm not surprised because you are not yet married.

I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

How can you see an Nigerian person with dreadlocks and not expect him to carry cocaine at some point?

Let her stay in prison since she raised a killer son. Did she not know her son was a criminal? Did she not spend part of his money? Did she not cover him up in the past? Don't you know her type?

A younger friend of mine is getting married to a Lagos based woman. The guy has no relatives in Lagos and it is a two day event. The guy has a meaningful job but he is from a poor family. There is no way they can travel down on Friday without being late so the idea is to be in town from Thursday. The wife is from a comfortable background and has people in Lagos. Is the guy expected to rent hotel for all his relatives coming foe three days? Is it a favour or is it expexted of the financially able father in law to make accomodation for the to-be inlaws, knowing his son in law poor family? What are your thoughts?

theoretically, i know many of u would say it is wrong but in practical it should not be a big deal. a father in law is also a father. i remember once upon a time my wife just delivered. i had a car but for her convenience i wanted to buy her a car that was even bigger than mine. i didnt have the money so i asked her dad for it. he gave me willingly knowing it was for her good but my wife was upset about it and never drove the car. instead of appreciating, she would insult me. later when i lost my job and asked the father for funds to execute a contract worth millions, which would benefit both of us, she got angry again. shortly after she made up lies about me and left. if a man is genuinely broke and in need of help. why should it be a taboo to ask for help from a close relative? i thank GOD today i have beem blessed beyond my imagination. never look down on anyone.

I remember when one idiot girl arrested me. I called my wife and she paid some of the money.

Bullshit! Nothing adds up in this story. By d way, can anyone here suck a dick for evidence purpose?

Troll as how? I don't believe there is any coward on nairaland. You don't knw me so why wld I make up a story? If you have nt come here to make fake story why wld u think another person is? Mind you, my brother has since married a better woman. I just recalled a past incidence and how I was blamed.

I don't knw what u mean by troll eyinjuege@ but I know tht nairaland is a place I can be honest without being afraid. Face to face, I don't admit everything becos people wld be biased. I came here to say how I really feel and view comments. It is a pity that despite telling the truth some people are not rational about my post. I am a no nonsense person. I don't follow the crowd. Anyone close to me knows that. I want comment from married men only.

Some marriages are worth fighting for, some are not. If a woman is married to a narcissist or sociopath, nothing she does can keep the marriage. It can only delay the inevitable. Asides that, if children are involved it is quite convenient to make the marriage work. Situations change and feelings change so keep an open mind.

My junior brother and I don't speak. He finds all excuses to be distant. I remember the biggest quarell years ago. He came to my house to introduce his fiancee to me. My wife and I got into a fight that was physical. She is someone that cannot obey instructions. The fiancee tried to seperate us so for her sake I stopped beating my wife. The lady ended the relationship with my brother shortly after and he blames me. If she truly loved him, that would not be an excuse. All couples fight. It could hav been God's way of preventin the marriage. He said she was the love of his life. Do you agree that the lady just used the incident as an excuse?

Only men should comment. Women are biased. Married men only. This thread is not for jokes.

My wife left me 3yrs ago and took my kids on the grounds of domestic violence , and adultery. She does not believe she provoked me to do ll these things. I begged her to come back but she insisted that b4 she forgives me, I must pay her for the upkeep of the children for all this time. She said she is afraid I wold not take care of the kids if she comes back. Is she using it as an excuse? Can she expect me to have been sending money to her when wshe are not together? Does it make sense? What if she is with another man? If I make her comfortable, she wild never come back. If she does it alone, wild she not rethink and come back to me? Since she chose to leave, is it not right that she bears all consequences? Marriage is give and take. If not, all women wild leave their husband and be collecting free salary.

Be realistic and honest. If he is meant for u, he wld stay. Some women have neither child nor husband and they hav money. But if u hav a child and looking for the man who is not her father to ease ur financial burden on her, u wld end up frustrated. What are d circumstances of ur baby sef? For a married man u wanted to hook?

I am from a royal family in Ondo state. I told u I am Yoruba because in other cultures, it may be different. Once u hav children in Yoruba land, ur husband is always ur master. Once I apologies and acknowledge my faults, it is disloyal to refuse ones husband forgiveness. That is why I don't like comment from jobless ignorant people. Who is here that has never offended her wife?

Five yrs is long. It may not be as long as the sad days ahead. If the hav not come to terms in five yrs, they may never. Mil would frustrate u. Love is not enough. If ur man can stand up for u, by now, he would hav changed their minds.

I am a typical Yoruba man. I loved my wife. No marriage is perfect. I hav beaten her several times and sent her out of the house, I hav two kids. I hav cheated on her inside and outside my matrimonial home. I hav been rude to her parents. I hav avoided paying my kids sch fees at times. I hav abstained from sex with her for several months in a roll. I hav borrowed money from her family members without paying back. I hav denied her as my wife. I hav embarrasses her in public and turned my people against her. But guess what. She is not perfect either. She can not take risk for me. She hates all my ideas. She doesn't trust me. She is unfriendly. She is lazy. She is a bad cook. She loves her family to a fault while hating mine. We got into a fight and I sent her packing out of anger She was arrogant enough to leave with all her belongings even the dust pan. I hav admitted my wrong doing and begged for forgiveness from everyone she knows. She said she would only trust me if I send her upkeep but I no longer had a job. I begged for years but she didn't give me a chance. It has been six years now and I have made it. I hav remarried now to a caring woman who helped me to prosper and stood by me. Have I done any wrong? I begged for years. I admitted my mistakes and promised. If my first wife loved me the way I loved her, would she not hav come back? Should a Yoruba woman ever desert her husband and father of her kids for that long? Did she expect me to stay single forever? She is talking bad about me because she didn't expect I would make it. God has put her to shame. Please comment only if you are above 40yrs. I don't need comment from small idiots who are not married.