₦airaland Forum

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Leave her and forge ahead. Use the money you have and complete your training. Once you are successful, the family will contact you themselves to come take your child. Focus on your studies and training.

praz001:
Good day guys....
I really need your advice on this...

I lease a land I'm currently using for a basic school. The landlord approached me last year that he will be selling off the land because he urgently need some money....

We actually agreed on 10million naira for the piece. (a 2 plot of land) Our initial agreement was that I will be paying him anually till all payments is made then he will hand over the land document to me. Out of which I gave him 500k as first part.

Towards the end of last month he called me he wont want to collect the money again in part payment that he needed the money in full or in two part payment within 2 year (5m per year) I've sourced around and offered to pay him 1m for now but he rejected.


Guy I really am in a big mess what do I do? My life savings is on this place....

Look for an investor who can partner with you, he/she will raise the balance cash, you pay the landowner and gradually pay back or go to the bank, use the property as collateral and endeavour you judiciously pay back the bank.

You can ask your bank for overdraft. 10 million is chicken change.

I understand your plight because location is very essential in running a school.

This is serious. I have just gained some priceless insights on the banking sector.

This is a brilliant write-up. No be today fraud start for this country. The present crop of yahoo guys still dey learn work compared to the brilliant heists pulled by some guys in the past.

This is the kind of mistake Nigeria did by electing Buhari to man the affairs of this country.

It is saddening because it was the educated south that paved the way for his emergence by the massive support they doled out to him now the South is the worst hit but by lopsided appointments, blocking the southern borders, killing of farmers and destruction of farms by herdmen etc.
2023 is close and if care is not taken, the same educated south will make a bigger mistake.

Amotolongbo:
won fe ti Baba si enu iku (dem wan push Baba to death)

Ti a ba n ja, se bii ki a ku wa ni?

Baba is old and should have been given a closer school.

Politely reject it.

Thank you ma for your hospitality but I ate before coming, I will take water instead"

In my mind, "thunder fire you ma, no be me you go kill"

chudez0147:
U.K. Temporal travel ban on buhari and officials after Biafrans protest in United Kingdom.

Stop writing rubbish. England is fully in support of one Nigeria, let nobody deceive you that they will support Biafra.

tungamaje:
I concur with. all you said except where you asked Nigerians to get their PVCs and vote best candidates. All of us know we can vote our choice candidates but the political clique. would still decide who to impose on us so long as their interests are maintained

We can change the narrative come 2023. A day begins a story and I know very soon, our votes will count.

Now that Nnamdi Kanu has been arrested, has the standard of life in Nigeria improved? A lot of people are happy and jubiliating that he has been arrested but they are still grappling with hunger and poverty, unemployed and facing huge insecurity all around. The herdsmen are still killing and maiming innocent people, preventing them from going to farm and accentuating a famine that is going to hit Nigeria in the nearest future.

Now that Nnamdi Kanu has been arrested, can the government of the day sit up and tackle the seemingly intractable malaise facing the Nigerian state? Boko Haram is still killing people in the North East, bandits are still kidnapping innocent school children and undergraduates all across the North, kidnappers are still having a field day kidnapping law-abiding citizens all over Nigeria and yet no arrests have been made nor any prosecution procured.

Now that Nnamdi Kanu has been arrested, can the APC-led Federal government stop borrowing, diversify the economy, reduce corruption and face the real issues plaguing the Nigerian state? The ease of doing business is almost non-existent, starting a business in Nigeria is nothing but a herculean task: you grapple with high taxes and rates from federal, state and local governments; epileptic power supply makes relying on generators and solar systems the sure way of powering your set-up; obnoxious and avaricious government officials are on stand-by to rip you off while incompetent employees who passed through our moribund educational system are stealing from you.

Nnamdi Kanu is the least of our poblems because his arrest has not reduced the price of garri in the market nor has it made milk, egg, yam and other staple foods affordable and within means for millions of Nigerians living below the poverty level. 2023 is fast approaching and we can all see that the present government has not taken us to Eldorado as they promised. Power is still epileptic, unemployment is still very high among the very young populace, diseases, illiteracy, poverty, insecurity and a hostile environment for business are still the order of the day.

Dear Nigerian youth, go and get your PVC and get ready to vote for the best candidate come 2023. Do not let ethnic, religious, tribal or other primordial colourations becloud your sense of judgement else, the dagger that did the damage is still very much around to do more damage.
(c)JUM

The best way to protect your debit card is to be broke.

If money no dey your akant, you gat nothing to lose.

Sadly, that is the state of most Nigerians since April 2020, they are broke, hungry, battered, unemployed, disillusioned, disenchanted and depressed. The Buhari government has done more harm than good to be honest.

Good one but the most important thing is this: give transport fare to people who come for interviews. Around 90% of them borrowed money to attend the interview; map out money for people coming for interview, light entertainment and transport money e get why.

Its a pity but if you look at the estate beside it, you will agree with me this is a ploy by that estate or possibly the government to evict the illegal settlers, reclaim the land without a fight and build another estate for the bourgeoisie.

If you are a talakawa in this country, you are at risk, your home is at risk and even the air you breath is threatened.

May all our legit hustle pay ...

Hashabiah:
You talk like one who is devoid of wisdom. Have you considered the advantages and disadvantages of him holding a teaching job for an extended period of time? What about the rent he pays in Abuja, is it not from the same 40k that he earns? Haba settle down and think things through before giving illogical answers

If I am devoid of wisdom, you are a tabula rasa and nonentity whose head is full of potash and sawdust. Go and take the Ota job you nefarious and obnoxious riff raff.

Nezzjnr:
But there's accommodation attached to it

With that accommodation, he will be tied to the company and with pittance offered as salary, he cannot rent another place if he gets a better job.

He can move from teaching to other forms of employment. If an assistant manager is paid 25k which is less than the national minimum wage, the company will definitely be a slave-camp.

ValCon888:
The teaching job is insular in the sense that it will not help you grow your network. Go for the marketing job that will help you meet people and expand your contacts.

There are schools paying hundreds of thousands. There are certifications you can do in education to upgrade. The teaching job is not insular.

Skillsmaster:
Good morning nairalanders. Please i need urgent advice on this.
I am currently teaching in a private school (primary section) in Abuja. I started the job last week. The pay is "40k". I usually spend like #500 on transportation everyday. The problem is, my Aunty that is outside the country chatted me up yesterday asking me if i could work in Ota. That the company is a food company and they need an assistant manager. She said the pay is 25k with accommodation, but they will review the salary after three months IF i should perform well. In addition, it is a marketing job. I will be giving a car to distribute goods to some places. According to them, i will be there first staff. I told my aunt that the money is too small but she said that is what they can start with.

Should i continue with my teaching job or go for this new one? Please i need your advice urgently. Thanks.

Don't relocate to Ota. Leaving a 40k job for a 25k job is unacceptable. How can a management job be 25k? You guys should put some respect to the word "Manager"
Do you know Ota and environs well, Can you drive, do you have a flair for marketing? these are salient questions you must answer.
That your aunty is a bad person, how does she want you to cope with 25k monthly, that company belongs to your aunt and she wants to use you as her first slave.

Avoid her avoid her job.

If you have a flat around Ojodu Berger area and you want to sublet a room or you have a room to let out around same area, please contact mikkpower1000@gmail.com or call 0.8.1.2.8.2.4.9.0.8.0.

Whitecoal711:
really Ned this but am in festac side lagos
Price isn't the issue but to transport it

The best time to move such is on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Between 7-10k will get it done.

If you can, then why not.

Sold

sold

NwaAmaikpe:



The problems you listed are actually your answers.

Problem 1. Mind your business, what your brother does not know will not kill him besides you didn't say his business was doing badly because of her.

Problem 2. Forgive yourself.
Because

Problem 3.
She is a single mom who is vulnerable.
It is better she is cheating your brother to sustain her baby than she engages into prostitution.
If she dies from HIV or her baby dies from malnutrition because you made her lose her job or blocked her access..will you be able to forgive yourself?

She is young and attractive....you could as well start a relationship with her so that you can cater to her.
That way, what she steals is still within the family.

So in summary;
Mind your business and don't tell your brother. Forgive yourself for not telling your brother because the culprit is a single mother who needs to do what she is doing if she and her baby will survive.

Rubbish. Your brother's business is your business. Fire the girl. Being a single mother is not a criteria to steal.

Someone wants to sell some sofa: two one seater and one two seater around Ajuwon.

If you live in Ota and you are an Uber or Bolt operator and can pick up some people from Winners Ota to Alagbole-Akute road near Ojodu Berger tomorrow morning by 7am, holla me

deedee44:
I can do it, for the right price. 0.7 0.8 4.7 4.1 7.9 7

I will call you. I hope you live around Ota. I don't want someone who will exaggerate the price.

Are you a bolt or Uber driver and you live around Ota, I will need your service on Sunday morning to pick up some people from Winners Ota to Alagbole-Akute close to Ojodu Berger.

Holla at me asap.

Who operates bolt or Uber and lives around Ota? I need one on Sunday morning from Winners Ota to Alagbole-Akute road.

kadiri3:
he's a ncdc agent

Your foolishness and ignorance stinks.

Your puerile response has exposed your imprudent and half-witted rants.

NCDC kill you there.

kadiri3:
thunder fire u liar

You are as unfortunate, as you are obnoxious, odious and nefarious.

Get thee behind me you nincompoop.

Arsenal is going. They can not beat Benfica.

Basalt:
Goodmorning Ladies and Gentlemen.
I am Basalt by name and I came to Germany last year(2019) October for my MSc studies with a little amount of Money and a partially borrowed block account from my inlaw (his money and my money).
On arrival in Germany, I took only a few courses and got a job outside my city and also got a mini-job. I did all my monthly expenses from my Mini job and used my main job to completely pay back my debt within a few months of arrival.

Now, that's not the discussion at hand.
I need advice especially from people who have lived abroad or have many years of experience in life.
My visa still counts till 2022 and I can even extend it if I don't finish my studies by then.
According to German policy, once you graduate from the University, you will be given 18 months to get a professional job or return back to your country.
Returning back to Nigeria is totally out of my plan at least for now because I came from a very poor family without any job connection and I am really enjoying Europe.
I plan to buy land or start building a house (I saved millions of naira and will even save more as time goes) but my friend who is also a student here discouraged me against that saying that my root is not yet fixed abroad that I should wait and continue investing in myself and undergoing professional training until I get permanent residency before investing. That I should always keep saving because it is not certain that I will get a professional job after graduation since my course is not in Information Technology which is currently booming in Germany. That even if I don't get a job, I can use the money to migrate to Canada or any other country of my choice.
He asked What if you invest the money now and don't get a job after graduation, what will you do after the 18 months of post graduation visa since you don't have any backup from home who will help you out financially.

What do you guys think. I need opinions

Set up your siblings, build a family house if there is none but do not invest except you want to set up a business for your parents or siblings.