₦airaland Forum

Wizywiz:
oga carry your tribal bigoted comment shift one side....

I dey one side na you jus dey show say una still dey treat women like say dem be your 6yr old pikin for dis century.

lilsmart:
here is the fundamental truth The peace she is looking is a private peace, built at the expense of your shared peace.

A marriage, especially the African home you described, is a single entity. You build one peace together, under one roof. What she is doing is building her own separate little shelter of peace with another person, while the storm of distrust and disrespect rains down on the home she shares with him.

The answerto you question. Does she not want peace to? she has found a peace. But it is a selfish peace. It is a fractured peace. It is the kind of peace that breaks a covenant.

Correct

ZombieDredd:
She knows the number so this option might not work long term.

Strongest options I feel is reporting to her father, if alive or sending her out of the house till she gets sense.....let her go and stay with the ex for. While

Bottom line is the problem is still continuing.

Moveittothem:
Honestly, I don't care.

Provided I'm not hurt, if she likes let her be drinking human blood behind my back, that's her problem to worry about.
What I don't know or see will not hurt me.
.my peace of mind is my primary concern.

I know!
That is the meaning of
Wike. D

Moveittothem:
If the Ex comforts her, why are they ex? Why didn't they marry each other?

You know this is where her business is, so this one does not concern us

Moveittothem:
Let her file for divorce and go marry the person who comforts her. Be deceiving yourself.

The husband is already making that happen, so it is not your problem, yet you are so pained.

ZombieDredd:
Marry your olosho in peace.

Let others marry their virgins in peace too

See fallacy.
Where I talk say make you no marry virgin?

The only thing I say una plan like no go work". Una go still cry and hala like the guy for up. So vex, tear shirt, e no charge anything

jmoore:
You go explain tire. You are free to marry ashaw. Let those that want virgins go for it.

Why is their choice giving you migraine?

See desperation ooo. Where did I say don't marry your virgin?

The only thing I said is just like the guys case, "E no go work". Una go still cry!

So marry your virgin or marry ashawo, e no affect me. Na still you go carry your load

SpencerForbes:
Too many guys are thinking with their third legs instead of their actual heads. Nobody is claiming a virgin is automatically perfect, but it's about choosing the lesser of two evils or the greater good ...

Ah! They are claiming so ooo.
You ought to know that they are lying when they say "nobody is perfect". I know that they are all thinking that she truly is.

As you can see here, they are even desperately relying and counting on it. And that is why you see that they are not happy when I say "e go shock them".

SkengRay:
@Dtruthspeaker I really Want to understand your moral philosophy? Are you Against marrying of Virgins or What Bruv I don't get it. Because of someone's experience you use it to make final judgement?

Hmmm! Dicey!!

You see, I am respecting people's choices so I am not trying to impose the Christian values which I was just lucky not to fall into.

And in as much as I did not fall into it, nevertheless, I have been studying it's patterns and ways for years especially as I really wanted to understand why God Says we should not do it.

And the more I discover why, the more I have been shouting "God thank you for saving me oo". For I see I would have died and lamented just as everyone else and complaining and strategizing on how to have a good marriage and a sweet living at the same time.

And so I have come to see in the end no matter what strategy man cooks up to evade all the bad things waiting for him, he still ends up falling into them.

And now people are changing to strategy of marrying a as virgin and always tell them that it won't still work. But as usual with God's Words, they will never believe nor listen.

So this guy's case is a public confirmation of when I say it won't work for God has made only One Way where we could have everything we want. And this starts by man knowing that God is always right and man will always be wrong.

So that is the moral.

And as I said I am not judging anybody but as God saved me from that way to the point that I now understand what is happening and what MUST happen, I am just trying to forewarn any one who might be seeing and thinking all these things and saying to themselves that they do not want to be a part of all this mess. And of course I know many won't listen but maybe 1 will.

And then comes the last and very special group, the ones who stay despite all the beatings and shoutings and all.

Now, we can see that the good girls have since escaped. The tough ones who have seen life have also run for their lives when the man did not change.

So, who are the ones who stay?

Clearly, it is those who are much more worse than those tough girls who follow sugar daddies.

And observations show that these ones have even done worser things that no one can imagine eg they may have murdered someone or caused the death of someone or caused some girls to be raped and many unspeakable things.

Thus, they attach to those kind of men because in the beatings and abuses they get from those men, they are looking at it and using it to pay for their own Wike... ness.

Plus, when they are with such men, they do really do not do anything wrong or to put it succinctly, the only things they do wrong are the normal things which people do, so they they get to look like "better person" and see themselves as good whilst the man would be looking like a dev.u....

In all these she never leaves.

So the pain and suffering the men gives them, is definitely used as penance for their crimes. Plus, I believe that they are even trying to transfer the cuss and penalty they know they should get from their crimes to the woman beater and abuser.

And this is where as some of us have even experienced there is a girl whom we loved dated and who looked normal and all, who did some small offences and dat one no touch us, till the point that she did even a big one which we knew she did just to annoy us.

And as many of us even felt, we all felt that she needed us to beat her, something we all said that we would not do. So, we did not. And in fact the circumstance even now made us not to shout at her.

And, while we were thinking that she would appreciate and love us rather she shocked us by dumping us.

And we all know that it is because we did not beat and oppress her, is why she suddenly dumped us.

And so, we can see another reason why girls/women prefer bad boys who would be 'mean" and cheat on them and even treat them very badly over the gentle men who would have loved them and do them good.

It is because they know they do not deserve a good thing because of the very very bad things they have done.

Truly, God is not mocked and people always get what they deserve.

And that is why the more you are good person and you are being good to them the more they must dump you.

Because God is puni....ING them and therefore they know that evu is their portion. For everytime they take good, suffering follows. But they have peace when bad is done to them.

So, na so I see am.

And you know this is even after everyone has been pushing and telling her to leave such a predicament yet she says "leave am" or "leave me, na my life".

Now this is where you see a sign for if you are observe most women leave her alone understanding something (wetin dem understand?) While men remain and keep trying to tell her to leave with 1 and 2 even ready to give her a place where she can start out.

Yet, she did not go.

Why?

Check it, you would notice that such women in that situation are people who have mysterious pasts. Nobody knows about them or where they are coming from and the most important part is what they have done/did that has brought them into this situation.

And seeing that normal people run always out when that bad situation starts just proves that the women who stay are abnormal.

And that is where the question of what have they done to be in it begins to rise up.

And this is where the differences are seen for first, none of our general good girls will be in that situation (it is them who say "one slap, its over" and "if you shout on me, bye bye." So these group is not there

The next group are the strong and tough girls who have seen Life and therefore they think they have seen it all. One slap and jacking will not stop them. They are used to it. And these girls are those who have had numerous boyfriends and man friends and daddy friends and sugar daddies and women. The whole works. They have seen it all and know about life. But guess what, after she takes a couple of beatings, she to leaves. It is them who "I no go die for your house. Wetin I never suffer reach?" Dem don see wetin pass dem, so they Run. So group eliminated

The Truth is, we have all seen what this guy is saying and that the girl/woman kind of complies.

But the thing that disturbed all of us was the fact that we all know that it was/is not right. Yet, some women continue to live in it and never leave. And I know we all wondered why.

Now I think I have figured it out

This guy's response

Just reminded me of this wonderful thing we have been seeing where a girlfriend/wife continues staying and living with a man who treats her very badly and Wike. ly.

It is a thing I have never understood but I kept on studying and taking notes and now I think I understand it all.

See, what brother said and thinks

Moveittothem:
Look, women don't respect men that are not mean.
She's a nice person doesn't necessarily mean she's a good wife.
A wife that doesn't care about what hurts you isn't a good wife.

She cares more about the feelings of her ex than your own peace of mind, and that's a red flag.

Involve both sides of the family and tell them what happening, if you allow shame make you swallow this now, you will swallow the one you can't be able to vomit.

Act now before it's too late.

Warn her, and carry out that threat, that's the only way a woman will respect you, don't allow love and understanding sabotage your peace of mind.

I'm in a 10 years relationship, and she fears me more than anything, yet she loves me and I love her.
She dare not talk to her ex in such a way that I would find out, everywhere go first blur, but I have never hit her before.
But she's knows I'm mean.

If she does anything that hurts me, I would make her lose weight with hypertension, and she knows I would do it.

Life is not for the weak.

Curious345:
Cease her phone break her sim card and warn her not to welcome it back. Then buy her a torchlight phone and give her one of your sim cards you're no more using.

Thank me later

Beautiful solution. Very Pragmatic.

Except that you have to break the sim in her head and heart too for what of if she knows the number/numbers by heart too?

Wizywiz:
if he can't handle the situation and stamp his authority on telling her to stop communicating with the ex then he isn't fit and qualified to be with a woman

Clearly you must be Nnamdi Kanu's kinsman. You obviously think a woman is a primary school student that must be subjected and controlled.

Well some women deserve to marry you

Wizywiz:
W sometimes you men needs to learn how to stamp your foot and take action....she is your wife for God's sake you need to stamp your authority

I don't understand, he should shout like principal and carry cane?

Even grandpa Ned could not control his 22yr wife

dollytino4real:
guy i go shout alleluia

Guy, I don catch you, na man dey behind your moniker.

Kobojunkie:
Seems to us that the only reason you are fixated on the relationship she has with the man has to do with the fact that he was her first. Well, that sounds like a you problem at this point and not a her problem. 🥱🥱

Just so you know, you can choose to proceed with divorce at this point on that ground if you want to. Or you can go get help from a professional mental health counselor for the reason why you feel that his being the one who first had sex with her virginity irks you so much. Either way, the ball is in your court, whether to hold on to what you have now with her or cut it completely to free yourself and go find you that woman that does not have an ex.🥱🥱🥱

If you read between the lines you would understand that he knows what went down between she and her ex and why she gravitates to him.

And as you have never married, you think that divorce is just like exiting a hotel.

dollypi:
Don't listen to relationship advice from women.

Ever! Not even from your mom or sister.

I know what you mean and you are right by 98%. But there is a 2% where they could be right, like the one Pocahontas gave.

But people like Samantha and co, should never be listened to. Their words are nearly always evu....

Moveittothem:
Look, women don't respect men that are not mean.
She's a nice person doesn't necessarily mean she's a good wife.
A wife that doesn't care about what hurts you isn't a good wife.

She cares more about the feelings of her ex than your own peace of mind, and that's a red flag.

Involve both sides of the family and tell them what happening, if you allow shame make you swallow this now, you will swallow the one you can't be able to vomit.

Act now before it's too late.

Warn her, and carry out that threat, that's the only way a woman will respect you, don't allow love and understanding sabotage your peace of mind.

I'm in a 10 years relationship, and she fears me more than anything, yet she loves me and I love her.
She dare not talk to her ex in such a way that I would find out, everywhere go first blur, but I have never hit her before.
But she's knows I'm mean.

If she does anything that hurts me, I would make her lose weight with hypertension, and she knows I would do it.

Life is not for the weak.

Just say you are Wike. D instead of mean.

Secondly, she is not going to her ex because she wants to comfort her ex. She is going there because he comforts her. It is not only you who wants peace.

Thirdly, your mind is deceiving you that your girlfriend loves and respects you because you are harsh and Wike. D to her meanwhile she is just using you to cleanse her sins.

lilsmart:
She couldn't just stop Means She Chooses Him Over Your Peace.
Her excuse is the most revealing part.She has told you clearly that her connection to this man is more important than your peace of mind. She values his presence in her life more than she values your trust. An African home is built on trust and peace. If a wife introduces a element that deliberately destroys that peace, and refuses to remove it, she is no longer acting as a partner but as a saboteur. A house with no peace is not a home; it is a battlefield.

Wait! Is it only men that need peace? Does she not want peace to?

Makamatic:
Abeg I get one question wey I want ask concerning this topic , Mature folks abeg answer .

What if man come get GF wey good wella , like she they give am advice , encourage him hustle, give am food and understanding but situations no come fit allow them marry and the man understands that the girl is a good girl . But now she's married to another man , the man in question now is now in a place where he can assist the girl and wants to start repaying the girl for the good time / good deeds they shared and he they send her money and them talk once in a while .. abeg na bad thing...

If na your wife dem do this thing to, how you go see am?

SpencerForbes:
Nah…. Instead of me thinking of happy endings, I rather think of worst possible scenarios and how to maneuver them. Reduces surprises

So if I marry a virgin, I don’t have to start watching if she cheats or not. Before I get married, I’ll make sure I marry someone that respect me and not necessarily love. She she respects you there’s nothing to fear.

If she values the marriage, she’ll behave. But if she doesn’t want to, she’s free to go. Shikena!!!

Ok.

Just that I would love to watch your own movie

dollypi:
A virgin is the best.

Come to think of it. Uncle Ned Nwoko married a virgin, and we can all see the movie that is playing out.

PolyGamous:
Marriage (be it monogamy or polygamy) can mean lust. That’s why I said the foundation of marriage should not be lust.

Monogamous man with a high sex interest will cheat and eventually have several baby mamas.

I’m not someone that will advice people to go polygamy without a tangible need for it, an instance of tangible reason is that of Abraham having another woman to have a child and there are series of them, that even the wife will be the one to push for it.

I’m polygamous for growth, just as I am doing my best to have multiple sources of income to be a better child and a better father, not to impress!

Like I said, we agree on the foundation of lust and no where do we imply that monogamy is lust proof. No

The point we are just pointing out is that polygamy is automatically lust founded. And that is where we stop

jmoore:
Another noise.

It is like mocking someone that bought a brandnew car fresh from the factory while you are driving a tenth hand car with 2 million km mileage.

Will the brand new car still remain brand new and mile-none after you have bought it?

Will you not over mileage that first 2 weeks?

Anyway, I am not even trying to mock you guys, I am just saying hot problems are waiting for you guys as the guy up has experienced. That is all

xareal:
If you like talk from today till rapture, I'll take my chat chances with a virgin

See, the broda up took his chance. Maybe you will do better

SpencerForbes:
Ladies are free to choose the high and classy wealthy men but if we men demand standard (just one) we’re the villains. I pity any man that doesn’t have self esteem.

Keep settling for less. Any woman that cannot respect you— virgin or not is not meant to be with you. Accept that!!! and that trait is mainly exhibited by women that have lost emotional connection because of what she knows she can get from another man.

You obviously do not real eyes that you are talking about marriage. Which means that you have gotten your chosen choice. So marriage now means that it is time to live with your chosen choice.

And that's when the movie begins and I love real life movies, so carry on let's see how you play this life.

SpencerForbes:
Why else do you want to marry, so she can help you in old age😂😂😂 wake up boy, wake up. If I read your post sometimes I just wonder which planet you’re from Just because you married a b2b midfielder doesn’t mean we all will do the same. And wash that nonsense thought that anybody is coming for you. NOT EVEN YOUR CHILD!!! That’s how you lot bother the next generation with your burdens.

Not everyone is as narrow as you are.

Secondly, no where do you see me forcing anyone to follow me and neither am I the one complaining about marriage.

So, keep on carrying out your plans, it is not me who will complain and lament when it does not play out as you planned it

PolyGamous:
The thing about people taking wives as a car wasn’t a tradition here, men marry wives as a partner in the African tradition. Which is missing today.

Show me a polygamous man of the past whose wives were his partners beyond sex.

PolyGamous:
Imagine marrying a lady that supports you in what you do brilliantly, women were part of everything here because their importance is well known....

See, you said "a lady", which is monogamy.

PolyGamous:
The main point is, marriage should be based on love not lust..

And we all agree on this but AdvanceDNA was simply trying to remind you that polygamy means lust.

https://www.nairaland.com/8563769/wife-still-talks-ex#137512743

We have all seen and heard this types of reports before. So anyone telling you to go and fornicate is a person who does not like you at all.

SpencerForbes:
Wait, just because I married a virgin, I'm supposed to suddenly start caring what she does? Nope. For a man, the core reason for marriage is to have children—procreation. Everything else is secondary or optional....

Is like nobody has told you that you are talking rubbish. I wish I could see you toasting a girl and your point is that you want her just because she has eggs, ovaries and a womb.

But, no problem. It's your show and our watching

PulaPower:
It’s virgin or nothing bro..

1,000 threads can not change that fact..

Don’t play..

Carry on ooo. I am not tired of watching you people's moves.