~Bluetooth:


Yes she has a good shot but not good as that of Kim because he has better godfathers !

But isn't that the point of a political appointment? Technically, any Ph.D level economist has a shot at World Bank Presidency. Okonjo's eminent qualifications are not sufficient to make her WB president. Her delusional country-men only fanned the flames of a dream that was practically dead on arrival. I hope that she will now devote her time to cleaning up Jonathan's stupid Presidency.

LOL @ all the ladies encouraging this mugu to pay school fees! Hahahaha! Oga, oya go pay school fees and come back in a few years to tell us the story! Be rest and assured that her ex-bf WILL come back to claim his child. This happens all the time and you're going to end up being a fool at the end of this. If you have awoof money to spend on charity, then go to an orphanage to make a donation. This boy still has a father living close by and is not a charity case. My earlier point still remains: if they won't sign over the kid to you, then don't pay a red cent! In fact, why am I beginning to suspect that this girl and her ex have planned things this way all along? Won't surprise me one tiny bit. I have seen worse things happen.

Mr. Prophet, oya come defend your nonsense prophecy now! Mentally unstable charlatan! 419 prophet!!!! LOL!

Nigerians are so stupid and gullible! Her candidacy was never anything more than a side-show, an entertaining distraction. Did you all really think she had a shot at becoming World Bank President?!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are people asking this young man to give up a significant portion of his income to send a boy that is not his to school? Especially when this boy's father and his father's family are right there, watching and doing nothing?

@ OP, your girlfriend is a wicked woman. That she's asking you to bear this heavy load without adoption papers or a marriage certificate shows she thinks you're just her convenient, live-in, ATM. If you love her and intend to marry her, then it's ok for you to give her a little something every month if you can afford it. She can use that "little something" to do whatever she likes. It's also ok for you to buy the boy gifts and take him out. However, when it comes to big responsibilities like school fees, ask the girl to go make demands on the boy's father or the father's family. Otherwise, make them all sign adoption papers. You shouldn't be watering another man's garden with your hard labor!

maryini:

LOL....you report her to your parents. That is what my sister does to me. And she says I disrespect her..I seriously don't understand why she says that because I have younger siblings and they talk back to me and I never see it as disrespect because they have the right to say what they are feeling. Moreover, I dont think people should be entitled to respect just because they where born first - something they have no control or made any contribution to. Respect should be earned. Please explain how you see it because I have tried to no sucess to see things from her own point of view.

Your question is a complicated but important one. I'll try to do it as much justice as I can. In most Nigerian cultures, being first born is not just a biological accident, it comes with cultural expectations and duties. First born children are raised to be surrogate parents from very young; parents and society at large expect them to look out for their younger ones and take responsibility for them in small but important ways.

However, you can't feel responsible for a sibling that doesn't respect you. You can't be a big brother or big sister to a sibling that doesn't recognize you as one. When a younger sibling disrespects the first born, it strains the implicit bond forged by a sense of responsibility and it forces first borns to either break that bond or try to re-establish that respect. It's not surprising the first born typically turns to the parents, the ones who have implicitly made first born children responsible for their younger ones, to restore the relationship/respect.

I want my sister to respect me because I am her big brother and I am ultimately responsible for her. If she can't respect me, then I will simply start regarding her just like I regard my extended family. She is a full independent adult now and she doesn't need me to be her daddy. However, if she still expects me to play "big brother" when she needs it, then she needs to respect me! If she's too big now to respect me, then she needs to just leave me alone jeje, no be by force.

This is a delusion. You're a false and broke-down prophet.

olayinka1987:

I live in England currently. I've "gotten out" more than you could dream of. I'm good. I've never been quizzed. I've never been arrested. I've never been in trouble. Just like the majority of Nigerians in every country we set foot in. We work hard and make things happen. Nigerians always do well in school wherever we go. Especially in the U.S and Britain. I can't say the same for other African countries .

It's always Africans from other countries that cry and hate on Nigeria because deep down they're insecure. What are South Africans doing on a Nigerian site? Do I as a Nigerian have time to be on some South African site? No.

That's all

Thank you oh! The irony of this situation is that Nigerians that claim not to associate with other Nigerians abroad are usually pretty shady/sketchy themselves! I have many, many amazing Nigerian friends here in the US and they are a pride and joy to the country: doctors, pharmacists, bankers, lawyers, engineers, professors, economists and students attending some of the best universities in the world (you find me an Ivy League campus that doesn't have at least 50 Nigerians on campus as either students or faculty). I don't know where these people find the Nigerians they love to "avoid". My opinion is that if you are high-quality yourself, you will attract other high-quality Nigerians and not criminal riff-raff. I have Nigerian friends in the U.S. that I trust with my life; they are loyal, trustworthy, crazy-smart and doing great things with their lives. Stop stereotyping Nigerians abroad because you happen to attract the wrong crowd.

This World Bank thing is unlikely to happen. She would be foolish to fall for the hype and abandon her very real responsibility in Abuja keeping USELESS GEJ fiscally sane.

This is thread is full of fools who will surely get burned. The NSE is a complete joke. Bogus or out-dated financial reports; rampart corruption and brazen market manipulation! Buying Nigerian stock is even worse than gambling. I am happy I advised my Dad to avoid the stock market like a plague when it seemed to be doubling every other month; thank God he listened to me. Half his friends that played the stock markets are already dead from strokes because they lost EVERYTHING. Such a tragedy and meanwhile, the criminal regulators and criminal CEOs are all free and enjoying their illegal loot. LOL! Nigerians are so gullible; it's just sad.

maryini:

Your description of your sister seems like what my elder sister could say about me...except I think and strongly hope I am not stingy (I also agonise over every penny I have to spend).

Favoritism should not be an excuse for sibling rivalry. You can choose to ignore it. Like in my case, my elder sis receives more money from our parents than I do cause she spends money quickly. I don't get angry because I don't need it. It has not caused any problem between us.

I am glad to read that you and your sister are fine. This post was a true God-send. I had been feeling badly about my relationship with my sister lately. I am beginning to see things from her perspective: she's just wired differently and I can imagine that she feels a bit left-out and unloved. I'll do a better job of being nice to her going forward. To be honest, I would hate for us to have a bad relationship. Despite her minor flaws, she's a great girl and a pride to the whole family. I just need to stop getting angry anytime she disrespects me and stop reporting her to my parents. Hopefully, God will heal our relationship.

LOL @ government officials using government money for private investments! Before citizens start celebrating, they need to go investigate the ownership structure of the mall! Who paid for the investment? Into whose account is the shop rent money going? Who controls the companies that own the mall? Let's stop celebrating grand-theft as progress, please.

They can have Abuja. They should just leave the rest of us alone!!!!!

Most of the replies in this thread have absolutely nothing to do with this man's relationship.

@OP, the most important factor in your decision is the woman you're about to marry. What is the nature of her relationship with her brother? Is the brother financially dependent on her? Is she willing to sever her ties with her brother to protect her future family if need be? Or is she the type to invite over the crook for Sunday dinners and extended stays? If at some point in the future, you decide that you don't want this brother around you, will your life live peacefully with this decision? How close do you live with this brother? Is your future wife wise and strong enough to keep this brother out of your marriage and away from your children?

These are the questions you need to answer well before you marry. I am a bit concerned that your future wife weeps and prays for this brother regularly. I hope you don't end up marrying both of them and before you know it, you're using all your salary for bail-money, the brother is bringing his friends to raid your place every 6mths or your wife is using your hard-earned savings to establish one business after the other for her useless, spend-thrift brother. It happens all the time in African families so don't think this scenario is strange. Just look well before you leap and make sure you have a heart-felt discussion with your girl before you pop the question.

lepasharon: Ive noticed that if its a boy and a girl they tend to be closer?

This is NOT true. I am the oldest boy and my younger sister (the oldest girl) and I are not close. She thinks we are mates because there is only one year and a few months between us and that I am our parents' favorite. To be honest, I am only the favorite because in addition to being the oldest son, I am nice, generous, jovial and very openly loving towards them. My sister is quiet, loves to keep malice and is very stingy. I am the type of guy that can give all my life savings to my parents if they need it but my sister is the type of person who can't buy $10 pant for my Mum without agonizing (of course, like all stingy people, she loves receiving expensive gifts). We just have very different natures and it's too bad that her nature is not the most lovable one.

To be honest, I am tired of her already. I want to love her but it's just so damn hard to love this girl, especially when she won't respect me as her older brother. Thank God that we are both pretty successful. I don't need her and she doesn't need me. These days, I pretty much just leave her alone. The only thing I am waiting for is for her to find a husband so I can stop feeling responsible for her. I am just tired of faking closeness because of blood ties. I wouldn't even be talking to her at all if not for the love and devotion I have for my parents. It's the sad but true reality and at this point, only God can intervene to reverse the situation.

For all the talk about China being the next super-power, it is still a developing country with a civil rights record that's worse than most African countries, even Nigeria. The jailed Nigerians should thank their stars that their organs weren't harvested for sale on the black market (please, go google the treatment of Falun Gong members in China). Enlightened Nigerians know to only go there for brief, necessary business visits (and only if they can't avoid it). If you can avoid China, please avoid it like a plague. If they treat their own citizens worse than dogs, be assured that they will treat you worse than a cockroach and they are no respecter of university degrees or fine English. It doesn't help that the Chinese are racist animals; their own even worse pass white oh!

I learned my lesson the hard way. I spent a few days in China as part of a school trip three years ago and absolutely HATED the rude stares/pokes and outright hostility at the airports. It's like they were determined to find drugs in my carry-on. They scattered by belongings all over the floor at every single airport I passed through (even before boarding a LOCAL flight from Shanghai to Xian and again at Xian on my way to Beijing). It was so embarrassing because they left my white American and Latin American classmates unmolested (they never even stopped my classmate with a Colombian passport!!!!!). I was ALWAYS the one held back for rude interrogations and violent bag checks; my classmates had to wait for me every time we went through an airport. I just didn't understand it. Did they really think a grad student at an Ivy League university flew all the way to China from the U.S. to transport drugs between Chinese cities?! Did they think that I, a skinny, tweed-jacket wearing, thick-glasses-wearing confirmed nerd was a drug-smuggling thug? It felt like a deliberate campaign of hostility and harassment either because of my racial phenotype or because of my Nigerian passport.

I am just grateful that I made it out of that country and hopefully, I'll never have to return again. In fact, as I type this, I am having flash backs and I pray to God Almighty that I never have to return to that country. There are too many countries in the world that are open and welcoming of my tourist dollars for me to go through the harassment again. There's nothing much to see in that country anyway (spectacular as they are, the Great Wall and the terracotta warriors are just not worth all the hassle).

Why do women tell themselves stupid lies about love and marriage? Why would anyone think women should get pickier at the age of 30? That's pure foolishness. Sorry, at the age of 30, your days of being choosy and selective are over for two reasons:

1) The pool of suitable men for you (i.e. men between the ages of 28-45) is now significantly smaller than the pool you had when you were 25. Men that might have looked your way a few years ago will look away now because you're no longer age-appropriate. The pool gets even smaller if you're hoping to marry a man that's at least on the same level with you educationally or socio-economically. This is just the hard, unvarnished truth.

2) Even given your now limited pool of eligible bachelors, the very best men are already taken! The age of 30 is not the age to start being picky over ultimately irrelevant things. At 30, your criteria should be rational and not emotional/idealistic. You should be looking for traits like hard-working, intelligent, emotionally stable, loving, respectful, self-disciplined and spiritual instead of focusing on ideal traits like doctor/engineer/banker-tall-dark-rich-and-handsome-with-a-6pack-and-a-big-kondo. If you could pull those kinds of "ideal" men, you would have done so at the age of 24, 25 or 26. Now that you're 30, you had better cut your dreams according to reality. If you need a reality check, go talk to the thousands of stunning, successful Lagos mamas that waited too long until they turned 37 and ultimately had to settle for ANYTHING that produces viable sperm (or worse still, a married man!!!!).

It's so tragic that Hollywood/Nollywood has sold us all a bag of dreams that's based on complete and utter nonsense. Why do women still foolishly think a successful marriage has anything to do with love especially when research shows that temperamentally-suited couples tend to grow in love together, AFTER marriage. That's why arranged marriages still work well, even in this day and age! It just makes me sad when I see foolish, old maids still looking for thunder-and-lightening romance at the age of 35!!!! Puhlease!!!!! That shit is just plain foolish and unrealistic. The sooner we start telling ourselves the truth, the better for everybody.

Kevin has clearly paid lawyers to save face. I am guessing his colleagues and bosses at work are beginning to give him trouble. The truth lies between these two stories but I suspect that Kevin's story is the false one. His story works VERY hard to depict Ogo's sisters as money-grubbing opportunists and yet fails to address the allegations concretely. I believe a truly innocent man would have responded to set the records straight with facts and then would have excused himself to go grieve his deceased wife. The mud-slinging just strikes a really odd note and provides some credence to Ogo's side of the story.

Although it is in bad taste to speak ill of the dead, it is important to note that it appears that Ogo lied about her serious health condition before marriage. It is entirely reasonable that her in-laws were angry at her for lying or failing to disclose an illness that would ultimately cost ~$500k. This is probably the root of the marriage's problems. However, having noted this, we should also remember that regardless of what happened during that marriage, what ultimately killed Ogo was her health condition and not domestic abuse. It's a bit odd and downright disingenuous that her family is only NOW bringing domestic abuse claims to light, when it is all too late to do anything to save Ogo. Why didn't they cry out and publish epistles when Ogo was alive? If he had indeed threatened her with a knife, why did they keep quiet until now? What exactly do they hope to achieve with these stories? They want Kevin to lose his job? And then what? Ogo is never coming back. It is for this reason alone that I think Ogo's family is only out to make mischief and probably extract some money from Kevin. No truly grieving family would air their child's very personal problems for the world to read and digest, barely weeks after her death and knowing fully well that her children will grow up to read these stories and allegations.

Both parties need to shut-up and move on for the sake of the kids. They are both foolish for letting this situation go this far. The dead will haunt Kevin's dreams forever if he indeed treated her as badly as these stories claim. Ogo has gone home to rest in God's bosom; her family should let her rest in peace and save her children from these humiliating stories.

Help!!! My sister has been admitted to a US school to start in the fall and her I-20 has already been issued. However, she had applied for a tourist visa with my mum last year to attend my brother's wedding this June. It's too late to remove her from the tourist visa application and their visa interview is in a few days. We are worried that the consular officer might notice that her name is already on SEVIS and might deny her a tourist visa, probably affecting her ability to get a student visa in July.

What are her options now? Should she attend the tourist visa interview? If she's denied a tourist visa in April, can she still successfully apply for a student visa in July? We are all so confused right now and any piece of advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.