₦airaland Forum

NormalThing:
It's either you are purposely selective of the paragraphs you read or you haven't digested all she posted. But I'll assist you.


Mind you, this information about her launching first attack was [initially] omitted. Hence the initial uneven judgement of the man and the whole situation - evident from the first few replies by our dear NL [feminists] ladies. Even when this realisation was met, not one lady chided her for attacking her husband.

About my post that is amusing you; i guess it is alright when wives are aggressive towards their husbands but sour the other way round?

It is alright to advise your lady friends to separate from husbands who beat them but not okay to advise husbands who get same treatment from their wives.

I love feminism (whatever meaning it carries these days. Above all, I love the idea of gender equality. But if you have the courage to raise your hands to a man, be ready for the consequences. A lady should carry herself with all decency at all times - why the hell are you trying to hit a man? I could bet my kidneys that husband would never have touched his wife had she not gone Solange Knowles on him first. She said this herself.
No double standards Biko.

And this is the Beyonce meme. SAVE IT

Did you also skip where she said she tried to?
So he's justified for ripping her hair from her scalp?

I am in no way support of any form of violence
Be it from the man or woman
But beating a woman cos she tried to raise her hand not that she slapped him oo

Oh well
What do I know
I am not even married to give advice
***goes back to my hiding****


And thanks for the meme

Gratefulaheart:
He eventually admitted yesterday. But blamed me for it. He also said that i am over reacting that "did i hear he impregnated anyone?"

I feel he only admitted because of the burden of proof against him. Even though he knelt down to beg, i certainly feel he would not have stopped seeing the lady if he wasn't caught.

I am so angry but looking at this children, i am just weak to take action. I don't want to involve family and when i mentioned counselling, he said okay.

I am so heartbroken.

oh well
he feels he hasnt done anything wrong still 'at least he didnt impregnate anyone'
smh

in all of this wahala
stay strong
eat well even when you dont have the appetite
and cry less

flyca:
Also, please stop posting any further. The more you post, the more you expose the m*nster you live with. And the more, folks like me here want you to “deal” with him.

Hugs to you darling.

what makes you thibk she doesnt need someone to talk to?
she cant handle it all by herself reason she came here to seek opinion
ofcus she will sieve

but keeping quiet will ruin all of it

just my own opinion sha
itk dyt
hianus

ifyalways:
Idiyatu

Shegs don marry ? Tpia i guess
I no come your side again o. Thought i will use the airline and stop over for 3 or 4 days for my DEc waka but i got a better offer from another airline. Mid next year maybe. I will ask Dayo to handmake you amala and lafun then buy u fresh ikokore

tpia and shegs would really make an outstanding couple you know
hahahahahahahahahahah


abeg call Dayo ooo
that food is needed

ifyalways:
Lol
This might help the woman but pure waste of time and money for the man. How does counselling stop a cheat from cheating?

Perharps this will make her feel better, good for her.

No counselling works like a heart-to- heart, sincere talk between couples.

Idiyat where u hide Segun and Idowu?

Oh well
She's all that matters
The healing is all she needs for her own sanity.
Even with the heart to heart talk
Does it change the fact that he won't ever cheat again?
It's a hard one she
Finding that man that respects you



Shegs don marry
Idown should be fine as she's always watching
You no come my side again abi?
I need African food direct from home not all these mixed expensive ones
Hian

Btw
It's Idayat

Gratefulaheart:
Thank you all for you time and advice. We have decided to go for counselling. Anyone knows any professional marriage counsellor im Lagos that you can recommend?

Way to go
I hope you will be fine after the counselling

yettymuse:
A narcissist can decide to show his traits after 11 years! After 20 years or even after 30 years!!

Until women understand that marriage doesn't complete you, marriage doesn't make you, marriage is only a chapter in your sojourn on earth! Abuse would continue to be transferred from generations to generations.

You are enough!

Inbetween... Dear Op, I would love to GIFT you a braided wig. Click the link and let me know which you would love. I'm sending you peace, love and light!

http://www.instagram.com/wigmaniac_international/

madam abeg me i need them wigs ooo

NormalThing:
Thank God for the full story.
All of you ladies that were shouting Toxic Environment Toxic Environment! She should separate!!!! She is broken!!!!!! He is a Narcissist!!!!

Will you now advise the husband to separate himself from the toxic environment his wife created? Can you imagine her attacking her husband? Accusing him wrongly on infidelity and attacking him Physically? The poor man had to defend himself. As it should be.

Y'all are quiet now. Because the narrative doesn't suit your tummy. It is when a man sleeps, wakes up and starts beating his wife Nairaland feminists will be present to scream TOXIC ENVIRONMENT!! TOXIC ENVIRONMENT!!!! DIVORCE HIM!!!!!

ehn ehn
so she actually got what she deserved as the man rightly said to her face?

like he ripped her hair like how they do on the farm that she had to go on a low cut and he doesnt even give a damn about it?


wheres that beyonces meme sef
i give you hands oooo


the things i have read on this thread sha
hianus

Gratefulaheart:
He was already calling her "baby", someone that calls me by my real name.

smh
i bet he will be giving her your money too

funny thing is these men will come back home when the street has dealt with them
leaving the wives to take it all
terrible

Gratefulaheart:
I don't know if this is his first time, as I'm not sure if i know this man anymore. The way he initially denied with so much anger that i was beginning to think may be he truly didn't do it makes me conclude he's a pro at this. He only ran out of luck this time. I have been so gullible. I feel like beating myself up.

cry all you can
it will make you feel better

no you not gullible
dont take blames for his wrong doings

i cant tell you to walk away cos it will hurt more knowing he doesnt even show any act of being remorseful neither can i tell you to stay as you will be lost in the marriage

like i said its a tough one

stay and most likely detest his guts
walk away and even feel more terrible cos he might never look out for you (yeah might be an advantage if truly you are done, but you have lived together, loved him even at his worse, how do you expect to even be yourself 2days without him?)

nothing hurts more than having a partner who is so egoistic and thinks you cant ever leave him

Gratefulaheart:
I just got whatsapp screnshots. I have a serial cheat on my hands. I just confronted him with the chat and now he's trying to guilt trip me. He said i caused it. I am so done!

oh well family members will sort it out
thats usually how it works

its his first time right?
its hard to forget sha

tough one
i wish you well.

i know how it hurts cos i have been there
that shitttt hurts deep down
it destroys everything
and then you start to fight on a weekly basis

i really do wish you can stay strong

flyca:
Basically, things will get worse with an egoistic cheating man and a hurting wife, no matter how the she handles it. Except she totally forgives him even without him admitting or asking, and they forge ahead with the marriage like nothing happened. It's her choice anyways.

can she ever forget?
that egoistic man will never stop cheating
even as far as denying being married
dayuum

flyca:
Okay so I read this part and decided to add more.
Wait o, you have been supporting him financially and he still had guts to cheat? How can a broke man who has being failing in this basic family responsibility still have ere.ction?

I need you to think: How can you protect your kids? Where are your relatives? Parents? Can you hand over your kids to some trusted adult in the meantime?

If yes, take them away and get ready for drama.
Do you have any crush? Maybe from secondary school or university? If yes.... good!

Stop sobbing or crying, he is not responding to it. Start a chart with someone from your past, start with a neutral chat. School life, lectures, school uniform, teachers, life after school, church, religion, politics etc. Allow him to occupy you in the meantime. Laugh, have fun. Ignore oga and reconnect with your past. Be cheerful at home, keep up with your wife duties, call your kids and stay connected with them. Ignore oga totally. If you have been dropping money for him, STOP! Pamper yourself. If you have extra cash, buy a luxury product for yourself! And excuse me, you may be needing your precious car more often than usual Stop flying bikes, it's not sexy! And you since you will be wearing high heel shoes, it's not convinent, not anymore!

Now, how he reacts will direct you, your next moves, and most importantly, will direct how deep the connection goes. If he is still unconcerned, increase tempo, move to gear 2. Fix a date. Again, still keep it as neutral as possible. Meet him at Mr Biggs or Tantalizers. Go with one of your kids (the one that will tell Daddy “Uncle Sam” bought him ice cream )! Lol.

Lemme know when you get to gear 4

Whatever you do, do not leave your matrimonial home for any baskard slay queen! Na him go run commot. Keep that recording very safe too. We die dia!

Hey, it's just an advice. You must not follow it!

if its with a man that ego and pride has taken over
this will only make it worse.

from her write up
the man is egoistic with pride eating his remaining useful life

Gratefulaheart:

This is a man that is in a messy financial situation for the past months and barely meeting his financial responsibility in the home. I have been covering up in the home front. He sold off his car in June and have been driving mine (i bought with my money) around while i hop on bikes. He obviously was using my car to take another woman to a hotel and he still doesn't feel an iota of guilt about it. [b][/b]
.

this why you even crazy mad about it all
its hard i know
just stay strong

heaves.............

virgoquin:
l thought I was the only one in this situation.

I don't like celebrating anything even my own birthday.
When it was time for my birthday I deactivated my social media accounts to avoid people wishing me a happy birthday

Haha Haha
Yes
We are lots like that

UyaiIncomparabl:
What's funny, Dyt?

Reed not red madam

In future
You will laugh over it

UyaiIncomparabl:
Hmm. I don't even feel elated in the house of God. Whenever those pastors preach, my mind is always elsewhere. They sound like loudspeakers to me.

read this thread over and over and you will laugh out loud

UyaiIncomparabl:
I've been told many a times that I'm possessed.

possessed because you dont celebrate Christmas or parties?
maybe i am too

i dont even celebrate my own birthday

oh yeah
you are very normal
there are people like you everywhere

iHart:
Hmmmmm, to think I was begging on behalf of this guy,... Please op forgive me for literally attacking you because of this guy. He is unrepentant.

Its ok

RevenGeMission:
Maybe I should cast him on other threads but he probably has several other Monica

Several
He's a chronic gambler
He will deactivate as soon as that moniker gets casted

Funny thing I still have his numbers and I see his status updates

Most times I just really shake my head for him.

RevenGeMission:
Did he eventually pay back ??

i got him on another minica asking for 20k loan to start up firstmonie

and yes hes active on sports betting

Nope
He didn't

daddytime:
Matured man wey know how him body be go dey wear slim fitted abi na under-size clothes like all these small small boys wey say dem be Ghana burgers.

.

I just laughed crazy

dancok:
sure the two will come, so that prediction is correct then.

oh well
fingers crossed

dancok:
do you now have it.

Hehehehe
I want 3 but I have one now


When I am ready
The two will come
Insha Allah

foyeks2001:
Hmmmmm....I also have that 3lines as well and already have 3kids. Me that I'm planning to have a baby of old age like when I'm in my mid forties or late forties.

Hahaha hahaha

You should try

foyeks2001:
How can someone calculates that of the kids?

I remembered a friend read my palm
The three lines you can see is for kids
She told me I will be having 3 kids

How about that of the kids you will have?

Annawhite2:
if you still need contact

calabar woman!!!!!!


jumps on her