₦airaland Forum

greatgod2012: @ op, let me ask you few questions, why did you think her pregnancy was rejected by her dad, did she tell you that, if yes, did you ask b4 telling you? That thought is a terrible thought, u really need to erase such thought and ask questions instead of speculating, if need be.
May God help you to make d right decision.

Why I thought so, is because when I told her that I will be some background check on her & the family she came from (as it is the norm) she became visibly agitated. I then asked her to tell me if there is any secret she thinks I may dig up if I go probing or if I later married her. She then gave me the story about her dad dying and her mum & her mum's family not wanting anything anything to do with the man's family. She bears her mum's family name.
After that I insisted on going further with the search, she said no problem but if I hear things that may change my mind it is not her fault.
Now everyone has a past, but I hope to find out from my partner rather than other people. Other than this, she is okay, character wise (I understand beauty doesn't count). She is pretty in her own right.

Callotti: Na you dey fian wife o!
My bride price is intact! Someone has been 'dealing' with me for years sir!
Goodluck sha!
*Thread unfollowed*

Thank you for *Unfollowing*.

ileobatojo: Based on the bolded, I don't believe you love this woman. She just happens to be the good woman with you at a time you feel you should be getting married. To me that is a bigger problem than what your parents will think because if you are deeply in love with her and she has all the qualities you want in a wife, you would be able to fight for her at your family level. How can you be sure that if you marry her, you will develop the feelings for her that you don't have now? What if it never happens, will you be happy in that marriage forever? I think you need to answer this to yourself sincerely.

So, you could work on finding love with this woman and fight for her; or you can tell your parents about her now and if they refuse her, you can free the woman to find someone capable of loving her. Good luck with your decision making process.

You have some point. But I guess my giving up on falling in love has to do with experience. If I end up marrying her, I know I will stand by her and carry out my responsibility diligently. Love is an action word, and am going to do all it takes to provide and care for the woman I marry.
But doing all those things now (or showing those emotions now) maybe a bit difficult, cos of experiences I have had.

Callotti: When you have grown up to be an independent man or BOY. . .gimme a holla!
You are a high risk for 'emotional instability'.
Men like you have to grow up for another 10 years. . .till your 'dem-say, dem-nor-say' mentality clear from ya eyes and nostrils.

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!
When I read something like this. . . I really appreciate the kind of husband I have!
Family ko. . . Pastor ni!

Madam, I expected nothing less from you. I hope you are not really like this in person, because I pity those who have to deal with you on a daily basis.

I met my girlfriend July last year, initially I wasn't really into her but decided to date her after I found out that my ex wasn't really ready to settle down with me. To cut a long story short, this girl has proven (within this short period) that she really got character and wifely material. I must state that she is equally crazy about me, though I am cautious about falling for any girl again.
The problem is that, her background is a bit sketchy. I have met her mum, who is married to another man and with kids, but my girl claims that her dad is late and she was trained by her maternal grand mum. I have a feeling that dad, just like some men, rejected the pregnancy which resulted in her birth.

I have not told anyone in my family about this girl, but I can't hide her forever. Moreover she has sterling qualities. My fear is that my family will object to me marrying a lady with such sketchy background.

Please matured advice. And sorry for the long essay.

ChopUrMoni: [quote author=ChopUrMoni]Did i conclude? I said one and he was broke. Because he was... meaning i didn't gold dig NOT that all black men are broke. Far out! What wrong with you guys reading the post all wrong

I know this is your thread, but I beg you to get off this thread. You ain't winning this one. Moreover, the more you comment the more you justify some of the arguement going on in this thread.

dick hardener: true, but it's preferrable to 12 ft shitt holes

To each his own. You make your bed, you lie on it.

pleep: i know But if u find someone who is very religious or shy even, its likely that they will have a clean past.

I dunno about the onlia type virgins

I don't know how else to put this across to you. The second Virgin am talking about is from a very strict religious family. Her brother once told me, that the girl is a 'prayer warrior' in the church. But she was a freak in my sheet.
Because of my initial encounter with a virgin, I personally had to exact all my will power & self control in other not to break that hymen.
Imagine a scenerio, when you fing,er a virgin and she is almost dancing Azonto on ur bed and gushing liquids.

Please guys, shine your eyes. A VIRGIN IS SOMETIMES A VIRGIN ONLY IN UNBROKEN HYMEN.

pleep: For dating of course not, but for marriage viginity is a must... For religious reasons

as well as a phobia of STD's

Guy, some Virgins are only virgins because of a tight Hymen. A virgin who sleeps over Na.ked in a guys house, and indulges in all type of Sexua.l act is not realy a virgin if you ask me.

shymexx: Trust me, bro..

Just imagine all these chicken heads who have su.cked like a billion dycks still claiming to be "virgins" because the hymen is still there - GTFOH with that bs...

I have dated two Virgins in this game. The First I disvirgined, but she used emotional blackmail to waste my time, before we finally parted.
The Second, I did everything with, except breaking that Hymen. But her family married her off to one Mugu as a virgin.
I learnt a lot from the Second, cos a tight Hymen is shyte. I did every other thing with this babe, and we normally sleep naked anytime she comes over for a weekend. Imagine the new hubby thinking his wife is Chasis, because Nylon still cover the Seats. Mtcheeeew

ChopUrMoni: My dear DONT be fooled. I have NOT come across many naija men who has more than me. Stop fooling yourself. Not all men are richer than the ladies. Keep guarding you pocket because girls like me DON need you pooh.

Maybe Online, you have not seen. May I humbly remind you that I have heard that line of arguement used on a lot of MUGUs.

ChopUrMoni: "some women" NOT "all". blacks to it to blacks as well. Has nothing to do with color. It happens in 9ja too...

It will only happen in Naija, if the Guy is Mumu raise to the power of infinity. You mean I will hand over my Sweat to you, because you got married to me & later want to opt out? Babe, better stick with your Oyinbo mumus, cos a core Naija guy will rather send you to the great beyond, before he hands over his wealth to you in the name of Divorce.

ChopUrMoni: . Thank God i have never dated a Nigerian man because this is some scary sh*t!!!.

And that is why you see a Greedy Bi,tch clean out an OYINBO man out of his hard earned money, all in the name of Marriage and Divorce in the Western World.
What I don't understand is Why Women Are So Selfish Beings?

ChopUrMoni: I can't date any guy that doesnt think im a trophy worth fighting for.

Why in Gods name will I put myself in harms way (literally & figuratively) FIGHTING for a Girl, who may at the end not even value what I sacrificed for her.

In all my dating life, I have only chased one girl and even at that, I had to be FIRM by giving her a time limit the chase will last. I chased her for three weeks, and I moved on (though we became friends and stayed friends).
Guys if you are an assesst, you will always have ladies. I started dating when I turned 20 and no time since then (over a decade) that I do not have an available puss.y
God blessed me with brain and added Jara by empowering me financially. If a lady is not adding much to your life, why waste precious time (time lost is lost forever).
Any Lady who wants to keep on with the hard to get status is simply not into you. Even if she later date you, she may be doing it out of a sense of PITY for all the time you have wasted. Or she have other USES for you.

Otu ocha (I mean oops)

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]Still...jus know while u are giving away phones the ones u haven't given to are dying of hunger [/quote]Noted

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]It's ur bday u can do whatever u wanna do. But remember that while u are giving away phones they are children dying of hunger in somalia [/quote]check my former update...

binger: Seconded...also give out your car,house and virginity(if you still have that)...blessings await you

Common, I am just seeking opinion of people here.

tpia1: anyway, of course you can give out gifts at your party, but if you're feeling extra generous, why not remember the underpriviledged as well.

just my two cents.

For the less priveledged, I already have a programme them.
Okay, maybe I should just give out recharge cards. But I feel something tangible would have been better.

wissezy: You want to do it bigger? Right?why not pop crystals or nuvo.

if I go by your suggestion, I and my guests will just have piss it all out the next day.

I want to give them something tangible.... something to remember me by.... it's more or less a gift the person will win in a kind of competition that day...

tpia1: Has the bb/ brazilian hair been treated with some jazz, or why the announcement.


Anyway, i'm sure some wont refuse it, so whats the problem.

Ahn ahn.... why will you think like that? Like I said, I don't want to come off as an arrogant brat who just want to throw money away.

Am using NL to gatther views...

I am not trying to imitate Davido, but I feel this urge to give out five brazillian hair weavon or blackberry mobile phones on my birthday, which will be coming up next week.

Is this wise or will people see it as an unnecessary show of affluence?

LadyTC: The big deal is that like sex you give too much open up to much and you just become a glorified girlfriend. So the OP point is you still remain a girlfriend if he likes the cooking, cleaning and crazy sex then he should have put a ring on it longtime a go. That you can be the best. Hence lady in the street freak in the sheets, the most domesticated girlfriend. It doesn't matter if he hasn't put a ring on it. Guys get comfortable and might even feel no need for marriage.

Those guys who think that because the lady does all the domestic work for them, then they don't have to marry her are simply Id10ts. In my case, she doesn't live with me and when she is gone I become so seriously unhappy.
I can wash my cloths, but am simply lazy when it comes to cleaning the house and the worse of it is that I don't know how to cook.
Just before she came around this weekend, she was away for like two weeks and those 2 weeks were not funny for me... My feeding was at the mercy of what the restuarant people have to offer.
Believe me you, am seriously giving a thought to marrying her by next year.

I don't understand the noise about wasing cloths, cleaning the house or cooking his meals..... Am still wondering where all these ladies forming superwoman for NL dey.
The point am making is that most ladies I have dated, do one or all of what I stated above for me and I don't even ask them to do it. Neither do I disrespect them for doing it.
As a typing this, my girlfriend did all what I stated above this weekend. And I still have much respect for her.

LadyTC: I feel sorry for you OP you are a broken human being who needs fixing. So you change for the worse because of what your girlfriend did to you.or some girls? Instead of you to take a step back be patient and wait until you meet the right girl (what you want in a partner).

Please don't feel sorry. And am not a broken human being.
As for changing for the worse..... I was tempted, but then am a Christain. After reflecting/meditating on the word, I got to leave everything at His feet.

LadyTC: Please am not insulting you but do you have low self-esteem? Or you don't think you can get a better girl too? In my opinion its childish there is no need for retaliating, you are saying she can push you to do things you won't normally do. Do you think that is normal? If she felt she could get better why not allow her go, since you are taken as a fool. Let me tell you now that girl doesn't appreciate you.people use love in vain abeg....patience is key in finding the right partner. If you like turmoil I guess you are both meant for each other. Don't be surprised if one day you can't give her whatever her love language is and she meets another guy who does and she either cheats or leaves you for him.

I don't see you reply as an insult. I only disagree with your self esteem issue.
Like I said in the beginning of this thread, I am your regular good and cannot hurt a fly kind of guy. But people (male and female) usually take advantage of that.
When I withdraw from the male they don't usually rant or cuss. But with the female it is a different ball game.

When U love someone, U don't do Love because the person is pretty or anything....U just love.

And I have moved on.... it doesn't mean I will deny the fact that I have loved and still loved, only that am sad that she is not different from all other selfish people I have met.

The new girl is head over heals in Love (though I havn't done anything for her) but am sceptical.

This is not about game playing...
Imagine a scenerio where the Guy is very serious about his intentions for a girl and opens up himself for the girl.... then later on, the girl feels as if she could get a better deal else where.
Realizing that the grass is not exacly greener on the other side, she retreats only to find out that the guy is actually smarter and not the fool she thinks.
She starts ranting about being dishonest, wicked and selfish.

op, the girls you described sure exist. But the are so few in number that their impact is not felt.
Most girls out there only form "good" if there is something to be gained. A lady will the gifts you gave her more than you that bought the gift.
Take away the little things you do for them and watch them cuss out your life. More over as they are with you, they are also scheming of a way to get a back up incase things go awry.
Most girls today have mastered the act of using their friends (both guys and their fellow ladies) as a stepping stone to their selfish goals.

190: Nigerian girls run-from everything


And funny thing is I love them-the-most

I still love her, but the truth must be told. And to think she is always trying to protect her brothers from being taken advantage of, bby their girl friends. Just shaking my head for them....