HanisahZuwy:


I would appreciate your suggestions and opinions. Thanks.

Seek therapy!

What's it like for immigrants to get jobs, housing and other social benefits and rights including health insurance?

What is racism like?

What is their freedom of speech and religion like?

What is their policy on LGBTQi+ like for children in nursery and primary school?

Iagos:
Hmm. Discrimination don start o!
Which one is biological women again

Na the people wey create cis women and birthing humans start the discrimination

Forget about the woke culture; I think it is insulting to biological women for a biological male to call himself a woman.

Please, no trans or lower bottom should celebrate himself as a woman today, abeg. Today is not the day we should celebrate you. Look for another date and inform us about it.

This is not about hate, it’s just that someone like me will not allow you to disrespect my wife, mom, sister, goddaughter, and all the amazing biological women around me because I am trying to be woke or make you feel good. And it is inappropriate for you to call a biological woman "cis-woman", "birthing humans" etc just to feel good about your mental health issues. You want to be addressed by a particular pronoun, our women don't. Just call them women/females.

Women are humans born with a vagina and womb with breasts to feed their young. They are made up of X and X chromosomes. If you go by the title "woman" and do not biologically naturally possess these qualities, you can attach an adjective/pronoun to your description like "trans-woman." Don't try to qualify my wife, mom, sister, and friends as "cis" or birthing humans. Stop it.

©Earl Alright.

But suggest she gets pregnant ASAP so she could get some company from the child(ren) while he's away.[/quote]

This is one of the worst things to happen to your marriage and wife. Your wife and baby NEED and DESERVE all your attention during pregnancy and in the early years of life. It would be best if you were not absent during this period. Why should a woman go through pregnancy alone and raising up a baby alone?

Today, we get to clamour for paternity leave for daddies so that they can be entirely on the ground when their baby arrives. We are screaming that daddies should have their work hours reduced and flexible so that they can do school runs, attend PTAs and help their kids with assignments - so that they can properly mentor and groom them.

Furthermore, the arrival of children is one of the biggest causes of division between couples. the women are easily tempted to get attached to the children. for every year that passes and for every child that is born, the woman detaches from the man as her attention and affection are on the baby. And this is the reason why many marriages, 10 years and above, especially those that are 15, 20 years and above usually end in Divorce.

By the time the children are grown, you realize there is nothing between the couple except raising the kids.

Based on my experience as a marriage and family therapist and also a family law lawyer, I would never suggest you have a kid in a long-distance marriage. The child may look like a blessing, but in the long run, the coming of the child (not necessarily the Child) may be a curse to the marriage if you don't manage it well (and many people don't manage it well).

We (Alright's Passion) usually host guests on our Youtube Live Stream. I wanted to create something that guests can always use to prepare themselves for the Live, and this came out. You may also find it helpful and useful.

BEFORE YOU GO LIVE WITH US.
Thank you for accepting to be our guest on our Youtube Live Stream. Here are some things you should remember and consider before joining Live:

Studio timing
1. As much as possible, kindly be in the studio at least 5 minutes before we go Live to test gadgets with the host and others.

Phone Setting
2. Clean your camera (an earbud with your breath on the camera screen does a good job);

3. If your front camera is bad or you prefer to use your back camera, ensure someone else helps you set up your frame. We can remotely help from the Streamyard if you come into the studio early and pre-inform us of this situation;

4. Remove the mirror option of your camera setting when joining via streamyard. Do this from Streamyard setting and not from your phone's regular camera setting;

5. Put your phone on silent so that calls don't interrupt your streaming;

6. Set your phone on auto-rotate (slide down your settings, the same place where you put on and off your wifi, data, and Bluetooth) if you are joining us via Streamyard;

7. When setting your phone for the Live session ensure to turn it to landscape (sideways). The landscape position of your phone is better for Youtube when streaming from Streamyard unlike portrait which is best when streaming directly from Youtube and which is also best for Instagram and TikTok;

Sound matters
8. You can use any wire/wireless ear and mic pieces available to you such as earbuds, neckbands, necklaces, lavalier mics and earpieces, regular phone earpieces etc. Using your phone's direct microphone and speaker may not give the best-desired result;

9. You can always mute yourself and switch off the camera during the show when necessary;

10. Always remember to unmute yourself before speaking to the audience;

Network issues
11. If you are joining with your phone and using wifi, you may want to turn off your SIMs' networks so that calls don't interrupt and pause your streaming;

12. Using a mifi or wifi is the best internet option. However, mobile data is also good;

13. To check your internet network strength, use www.fast.com and ensure you use a network that is 3mbph and above to join Live;

14. If you are joining from Nigeria or any other African country, it is suggested that you have at least, two network options available. That way, if one network goes down, you will have the other option to quickly switch to;

15. There may be a network issue that may remove the Host or another person from the conversation. Don't worry, continue with your point, and opinion and hold on to the conversation until the Host or other person returns. Network issues of the host or any other person do not stop the streaming as long as you are still on;

16. We recommend closing YouTube while you're live via Streamyard. This saves bandwidth and is easier on your computer. If you need YouTube open on your computer or other devices, mute them so you don't hear yourself. Note that YouTube adds about 10 seconds of delay to the broadcast if you are watching yourself via another device during the streaming;

17. Do not listen to the Live streaming through your Tv, music box, or any other device apart from your earpiece. Listening to the streaming through another device would cause an echo as your microphone may pick up the sounds.

Mode of fashion
18. Please, before you go Live, ensure you are already properly seated and comported. You don't want your viewers to see your boxers, underwear, or pyjamas;

19. If you are using a dark background, kindly wear a bright top (unless your lights are very bright), if you are using a bright background, wear a dark top. Do this to make your image pop out clearly from the background.

Language
20. It is a freestyle discussion, so be relaxed as much as possible. You are allowed to use cultural slang and also garnish your statements with pidgin English or with your local dialect;

21. Do not worry about your ascent, if you speak slowly, everyone will hear and understand you (it's allowed to also be a fast talker like Earl Alright);

22. Christianese is allowed. However, the goal is to reach people of all religions without using Christian terminologies and jargon to intimidate them or show off. So, if you can teach Christian principles without making it sound like you were preaching in church, that would be awesome;

Copyright matters
23. Please, do not play any music in the background to avoid violating copyright rules;

24. Do not also use any background that advertises anything, people, or product (unless it's your product);

Presentations
25. Kindly let us know if there is any presentation or video you would want to share, and ensure the proper credits are made to avoid copyright issues;

Studio setting
26. We suggest you lock the room door if you are joining from home so the kids don't disturb and interrupt you. Please, if you are the only parent at home, ensure the door is opened and you can hear what the kids are doing. There is no crime if their screams enter the Live streaming; you are a parent and your family comes first!

27. Please, a kid should not be in the room if it is a sex topic rated above their age and if sexual teaching aids will be used;

Managing devices
28. Some folks have phones that get hot during Live. To prevent this, close every other window, page, and tab on your phone so that Streamyard (or the app you are using) is the only thing running. And if your phone easily gets hot, you may want to place a fan to face it. Don’t worry much about the noise, your phone has noise reduction;

29. A hand-rechargeable, table or standing fan facing you could also help if there is no AC or ceiling fan. The heat from your lights could make you sweat a lot;

PR matters
30. Kindly send the pronunciation of your name as a voice note so that the pronunciation is gotten right;

31. You may want to read the overview of Alright's Passion again to know who we are, our doctrine, beliefs, values, goals and mission;
www./AlrightsPassionOverview

32. Remember NOT TO give your audience your Streamyard link. It is the Youtube Link (or any other platform link) that is for the general public.

33. Ensure your device batteries are charged as streaming online could use a lot of battery.

34. Ensure you look into the camera and not your phone screen or your guest/host when speaking. This way, your viewers will see you looking directly at them and not at some other space or thing. You can use a sticky note or paper tape to mark your camera area so that your attention is regularly drawn there.

Note that you are free to ask us any questions on these shared or any other thing whatsoever.

You Rock!


Earl Alright
© Alright's Passion

Thank you so much for bringing this up. People usually get surprised when they enter my counselling office and discover that I don't use religion or culture (unless the person or couple specifically requests such).

19 years in counselling, 11 years in law practice (with special interest in family law) and an M.Ed in Marriage and Family Life Counselling in view, I can say we are beginning to have a culture in Nigeria where and when people appreciate professional counselling and seek one rather than listen to people who just use their opinions to counsel on core matters.

Thank you so so much for this. You Rock!

If anyone wanted to contact me, you can call or whatsapp me here +2348125086798 (or simply click on www./ChatEarlAlright ) or simply follow me on Youtube www./AlrightsPassion

This was a class taken in Flesh to Flesh, an Alright’s Passion Whatsapp group strictly for married folks and primarily on sex matters. If you are unmarried, we recommend that you close this article as it may not do your hormones any good in this your single state.

When last did you give your husband an oily handjob?

We all were once learners. And even till now, we are all still learners.

I was reading on Gender and Sex yesterday and two other doctors, quoting other researches, stated again that the most important organ for sex is our brain. So that you can only get as much sex and enjoyment, explore and adventure, only as much as your mind can.

What’s happening in your mind right now?

If you see handjob as wrong, then you wouldn’t even want to explore in that area. You would have limited yourself a great deal in how much sexual pleasure you can get from the activity. If you see it as dirty, tiring and just something you do for your man, your brain would attach displeasure and stress to it whenever thoughts or mention of it pops up. So let’s talk about handjobs.

HandJob is the stimulation of the genitals with the hands to give sexual pleasure and satisfaction; an act performed by a partner on the receiver. So it’s actually masturbation, but this time, not solo sex. It is usually performed on men by male or female partners. It can also be performed on women in three main forms; fingering, orgasmic meditation and yoni massage).

handjob is what you do with your hands on your husband’s penis.

This definition is all your mind needs for now. This understanding would help you adventure, explore, improvise, etc. What this means is that you can choose to do as you want; no rules. The only rule is, use your fingers and palms on his penis. Whichever, however, and whatever way you choose to, is fine.

Your mind can only explore wide and far if you understand –

The Penis, and
Your hands
You would have observed that every part of the penis, including the scrotum sack (teabag), are all erogenous spots. So since all of the penes can be lighted up with sexual fire, how you choose to put that rod on fire is your discretion. Some like to set it all on fire at once by folding all their fingers and palm around it and mimicking the vagina by going up and down in rhythmic sexual movement. This is awesome, but shouldn’t be the only style and option every time.

In literature, we have what we call Appreciation in poetry. This is when we identify and examine all the literary structure and elements of the poem, we love it, personalize it and even see far more than what the poet wrote.

When it comes to a handjob, the size of the penis doesn’t matter. And even if a wife has such short fingers that cannot go round, it doesn’t stop the fun. The glans of the penis (head or cap, no matter what you call it) has about 4,000 nerve endings making it the highest erogenous zone of the male body. Interestingly, every other part of this wonder-device is an erogenous zone.

Let’s break it down.

How to give a great handjob to your husband:

Love your penis

If you want your man to moan wella when giving him a handjob, make him feel proud of his penis, the size, its looks etc. His genital self-esteem is key. That his wife finds his penis attractive, awesome and mind-blowing is something he will always cherish and propel him to satisfy her sexually, always.

And you should do this every time, not just at the time that you want to blow him out. Sometimes, just stare at him naked, mischievously with corner eye. Grab him once in while down there, on the streets, at night. Let him know you love his penis.

Give your penis a name that represents what it means to you.

Wake up your penis

Sometimes, he may already be Hot and hard when you are about to Bleep him with your hand. But look for times when you would be the one to stir the waters yourself.

If it’s at nights, in the early hours of the morning, send your hand into his boxers and play with his pubic hair until thy rod is lifted (I like this especially). Or, you could just calmly place your entire palm on the flaccid penis and the tea bag all at once. Your hand would heat up, and warm his penis and get it erect.

Personally, unless my wife tells me that she wants to give me a handjob or I ask for it, I usually don’t like the palms being oiled when I am touched unawares (although I would suggest it when conscious to reduce bruises on the penile).

Touch, rub, slide, glide

Touch the penis gently. If you notice, there are some small pimple-like ducts immediately under the head of the penis, the reverse side. Stroke them lightly and gently.

You can use your fingers to be travelling the length and breadth of the penis just to make it warm. Remember that to blow him out you don’t have to be in a hurry. If it is in the night, bite his body with your teeth gently while your fingers transverse the joy-stick.

Once you notice he is getting too high to want to rape you, move your hand away from the penis to the tea bag or pelvic area, or to the hair on his tummy (if he has), or to his belly button.

Slow down, that’s the thumb rule.

Now, you can oil (lubricate) your hand and fingers to make things sweeter, smoother and eliminate friction which may be caused by the pre-seminal fluids getting dry on the penis.

Come back and just finger smoothly the glans of the penis, and when he is getting too high, move to the body of the penis (the excitement that would have made him cum would reduce).

Bleep him

After a while, you can choose to fold your lubricated finger and palm to form the vagina around the penis and ride up and down. Pay attention and be free to change the rhythms based on the moan you hear.

Slow, fast, slow, fast until he literally begs you for your vagina or that you make him cum. If you choose the vagina, you may want to ride him in the cowgirl/saddleback style or any other style you choose and prefer at that particular time.

Girl, he would be your slave while you would be his LovePeddler.

Cuddle the penis

After he cums (in the vagina or during the handjob), don’t walk away

Clean your penis up and just give it a warm cuddle with your hand by placing all of your hand on its length and tea bag or by grabbing the rod calmly. I hope you find this useful.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @AlrightsPassion

You rock!

I woke up this morning to see that Twitter was trending with multiple terms related to the state of affairs in Nigeria.

I found this rather odd and here's why.

I use Twitter more as a listening tool, to keep my finger on the pulse of things.

One look at the trending topics, and you could have a summary of current affairs for the day.

When I left Nigeria last year, I updated my location on the Twitter app to ‘United States’ as I now wished to be updated on current affairs in the US.

Consequently, whenever something significant happened in Nigeria, I learned of it rather late and typically by word of mouth because I could only see US trends.

And so when I woke up this morning to multiple Nigerian terms on the trending section, I thought the app was experiencing a glitch, showing me trending topics in my former location, Nigeria.

After a few seconds, I laughed as I realised what the real situation was. There was no glitch after all.

Here’s the breakdown of what happened.

Whenever something tragic or contentious occurred in Nigeria, the citizens would tweet about it, and the topic would trend - TO NIGERIANS.

This meant that even though the complaints and agitations of the citizens were being posted to the public social media platform, the issues seldom ever registered as the trending topics of other countries.

However, there was a twist here which leads us to the Law of Unintended Consequences.

The Nigerian Government banned twitter and this led the mammoth Nigerian youth population to download VPNs to bypass the ban.

On most VPNs, the United States is the default or preferred location.

And so millions of Nigerians who would normally tweet and register their discontent as the trending topics of Nigeria, were now registering the issues on the trend list of the United States.

Americans woke up today confused by terms such as ‘IPOB’, ‘Buhari’ and ‘Malami’.

If the Nigerian government had not banned Twitter, the displeasure of Nigerians would have been localised.

In the wake of the ban, the displeasure of Nigerians was being broadcast to the center of the world through VPNs, creating global awareness for a matter that would have otherwise remained local.

Most Nigerian VPN users didn’t plan for this effect. It was just an unintended consequence of using VPNs, albeit a welcome one.

Another unintended consequence here is that Nigerians may have now learned how to ensure that topics of agitation are registered on the trends lists of the United States - by mobilizing Nigerians to tweet via VPNs with the US as their virtual location.

The Law of Unintended Consequences can be avoided by utilizing a thinking tool called Second Order Thinking.

Second Order Thinking posits that there is more than meets the eye when solving problems, and that by solving one problem, we may inadvertently create another problem.

We must therefore rigorously apply Second Order Thinking and even third order thinking in order to arrive at an ecological solution.

I’ll explain this using another lesson from history.

Back when the British ruled India, they faced a problem with a rising population of venomous cobras in Delhi.

To solve this problem, the British colonialists launched a bounty program, offering a cash prize for every cobra that was killed.

All the residents had to do, was to kill a cobra and present its body to the British government and claim the reward.

However, the business-minded Indians devised a plan to ‘optimise’ their rewards - they would breed cobras privately, kill them, present the dead cobras to the British and collect the cash reward.

The British were initially delighted to see that cobras were being killed in large numbers.

On the surface, the bounty program appeared to be a raving success - 1ST ORDER THINKING.

The British soon found out about the breeding operations and terminated the bounty program - 2ND ORDER EFFECTS.

This now meant that the Indian snake breeders were left with many snakes that could not be sold, and so they set them all free.

There were now more cobras all over Delhi after the bounty program than when it was first started - 3RD ORDER EFFECTS.

What does this mean for you?

As with the stories of the Twitter ban and the British bounty program, we must seek to solve problems by seeing the whole landscape rather than what is readily apparent.

We must consider not only the First Order Effects of our decisions, but also their Second and even Third Order Effects.

This overarching strategy is called SYSTEMS THINKING, and Second Order thinking is just one component of it.

Let’s look at another hypothetical application of this powerful thinking tool.

Say you were the Founder/CEO of a Billion Dollar corporation and one of your founding executives was found to be engaged in fraudulent activity.

What would you do?

Well, a First Order approach to this problem would be to simply fire this individual.

Second Order thinking would examine any potential consequences of dismissing this person.

On further investigation, you may then realize that this person may choose to express their disgruntlement by joining a competing organization and use company secrets to strengthen your opposition.

Of course you could go to court, but your lawyers graduated from Harvard Law and would charge millions of dollars to duel with your adversary over the coming months and years.

Considering the cost of the Second Order effects of a straight dismissal, you may wish to act ignorant of the act of fraud and do something else instead.

Create a small office in a far away country which is inconsequential to overall brand image and profitability.

Puff up his ego by offering him the role of Country Manager or ‘General Manager - Diaspora Relations’.

This fraudster would feel valued and stay on your side, while being tactically stripped of the ability to continually perpetrate fraud.

You solved the First Order problem of fraud, canceled out the chances of future fraud and potentially saved the company millions of dollars in legal fees.

This strategy is used at the highest levels of power - across politics, the mafia, business and even organized religion.

Read this a couple of times over and make your notes on how this can offer solutions past and future obstacles in your life.

As Solomon famously wrote, "For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it."​

~John Obidi

I thought it was just about Ephesians 5:25, loving my wife as Christ loves the Church. That way, I can limit the love shown her to how much I understand and experience how God loves the Church. I hope you also remember Jesus in John 13:34 saying "love them (including your wife) as I have loved you"? Well, I would have still brought up a lot of argument, that is what lawyers do.

However, I knew this was not a joke when Colossians 3:17 (NLT) instructed that whatever I say or do must be done as a REPRESENTATIVE of God. It's means I should forget my feelings opinion and convenience on the matter. That sounds crazy for those of us who are very opinionated. To make matters more interesting, 2 Corinthians 5:20 (NLT) opens with "we are God's ambassadors." It means I have lost total freedom of personal expression before my wife, I must act on God's behalf. I don't have my own speech, opinion or decision. And I must regularly report back home to God how much and how well I have REPRESENTED him before wifey. Chei.

Today, I have one lone issue for determination, and that is "whether or not I properly represent God to my wife." Well, before God delivers His judgement on the lone issue, I need to take an adjournment on the ground of insanity. I obviously have not been thinking well.

See you on the next adjourned date.

©Earl Alright
#AlrightsPassion
+2348125086798

Rich Men vs Poor Men Online Reviews.

I had seen a Facebook post during the week where the Marriage Counsellor counselled that all the fun things we wish to do with our spouse after the kids are gone should be done now. The post was to the effect that if you don't spend time and efforts being husband and wife and dating each other now, by the time you are done with being daddy and mummy, you may realize that there is no longer a "marriage."

Coincidentally, that evening, wifey mentioned something like "ah, when these boys are grown, we would have time to flex" and I was like, "no, we would start doing so now".

Consequently, we decided to visit one restaurant our friend had talked about, and the friend added that it was an expensive restaurant. We chose it because we felt the more expensive a place is, the better the ambience of the environment and the food. Besides, we wanted to start rolling with the wealthy to see the picture and hear the sounds of what we wanted to become, too.

So, we chose the said restaurant. We didn't mind expressing milk down for 10 months old Kyland. Two grown ladies were home to babysit him and his brother, Acorn.

However, the moment we ordered our ride, the Holy Spirit initiated a conversation in my mind. It was about another restaurant that was topnotch in a very amazing location. I have observed that it was not usual to see folks trooping into the place. It must be very expensive to have few customers with the kind of structure and exterior decoration plus its central location. So, we rerouted our ride to it.

Wifey was like " if it is too expensive, I may just get angry if the food is wack. So, think twice." This prompted me to check the restaurant on Google and saw two types of reviews:

Those who praised the location and their food, and those who were angry with everything and did not say one good thing about the place.

Interestingly, I noticed that all those who complained about the location also mentioned how expensive things were (they did not miss it). However, all those who praised the place did not mention anything about the prices of things.

It was then I realised that all those who complained were poor and all those who praised were rich. This was the proper place to go to. The romance in our marriage was worth an expensive place. Yes, if we had visited our regular family and dating restaurants, we most likely would not have spent about 1/4 of what we spent but wifey kept on saying "I love this place." She still commended the date this morning. We were dining and wining with men and women, multinationals and different races, and not noisy, showing offs "Yahoo Boys." Besides, no beer is sold on Saturdays and smoking was embarrassing to the smoker in such an environment with such calibre of people.

While there, we quickly set up a financial structure to fund such necessary, recommended, and mandatory date nights for our marriage; our marriage is worth such an expensive place for our couple-date. Before the kids, we were.

This is what I want you to pay attention to; when checking out reviews online, detect which one is by a poor man and which one is from a rich man. Once a place or something is expensive, a poor man would be blinded to everything good and argue that he can get the same item/service for a cheaper fee somewhere else. Rich folks would not complain about the fee because it is just normal and usual billing. If they don't like the food, they would not shout, they would either complain straight to management or internally decide not to try that menu again or visit that place again. But poor people will cause a scene and go online to hire a supporters club.

Poor people go to a restaurant with the mindset of fast food. They complain the food is delayed and argue that the drinks are too expensive. They frown when you relocate them and would almost refuse to leave after finishing their food.

I am glad I am thinking and acting like the rich. Poor people wahala no dey finish.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

www./ChatEarlAlright

The meaning of cheating is just expanding every day to meet and match the definition Jesus gave a long time ago.

Once upon a time, cheating was only when sex was involved. Then kissing and touching became part of it. Flirting and emotional affairs later joined.

Meanwhile, more than 2000 years ago, Jesus said that once you even think about it, gbam, you are guilty as charged.

Cheating becomes any and everything that violates your vows, makes your partner feel insecure and romantically threatened, and also violates God's principles of moral, sexual and emotional chastity and righteousness.

Who defines what is cheating?

Your partner, your conscience and your God.

So, seeing pornography or masturbation (with or without intimacy gadgets), or spending too much time on your phone or TV could be cheating, today. Spending more time with the boys or girls or even in church may be part of it today. The definition just keeps on expanding.

Do you want counselling? Book a session here www./FixAppointment

You can whatsapp me via www./ChatEarlAlright

You may want to see my Youtube videos at www./AlrightsPassionLive

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

You Rock!

#EarlAlright

Whitney Michelle asked on Rant HQ on Facebook:

"Why are men loosing (sic) interest in settling down?"

And I attempted a response thus:

Simple; men have lost faith in marriage. Marriage now seems to be a tool through which women and society uses them. They no longer see any special or unique benefit which marriage offers them.

I say this often that if Christians (and other religions) can have holy sex outside marriage, most men will never marry because we have not made them see any benefit in getting married apart from sex (which many are still not getting sufficiently sef). This applies to women too. However, we all know that women enjoy more social and economic benefits and security through marriage than men do.

The question is, what does marriage have to offer a man? What are the special benefits this union will bring him that he cannot get being single?

He would face the bills and stress and may suffer divorce and lose everything to the woman. He may train all the kids and later discover it was all a paternity fraud. "We" have bastardized marriage so badly that mehn, although marriage is sweet and awesome like my own, many do not have sufficient good examples of marriages out there around them to want one.

So, these men are asking what marriage has to offer a man and unfortunately, most people are not bothering to answer them; they are rather attacking them for being selfish, self-centered, stingy and the likes.

Worse, marriage (the cost of having and running a family) is now too expensive (and this is caused by the world economy and societal value systems of what and who a man must be to his woman and kids). So, he wants to hammer so that he can make money and have the respect of a woman and be able to handle the bills that come with being a husband and daddy. Yet, the world economy is against him.

Until we make him feel that he has a lot to gain through marriage, he would always think that marriage is what women and society use in scamming him.

So, let me ask you, what does marriage have to offer a man beneficially?

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

You can chat me up on whatsapp
+2348125086798 www./ChatEarlAlright

You can see my Youtube videos at www./AlrightsPassionLive

#DivorceLawyer #FamilyLawyer #LawyerCounsellor

"If you're currently going out or in a relationship with someone you have no intentions of getting married to, I suggest you read this article very carefully.

This is coming from a legal perspective and so I suggest you take it seriously.

Back in 2013, I once had a neighbour who lived two buildings after mine.

He was a man in his mid forties and worked at an oil company.

The man was comfortable within his rights and appeared very much ready to settle down.

Later on, we started seeing a very light skinned, timid lady around his apartment.

When our transformer blew to smithereens and invitations were sent to every building to discuss about a new transformer, it was the lady we met and served her the letter.

She practically lived there.

Since the man who I will call Oga Jude ( not real name) was from a conservative religious group, I always saw the lady attend church services alone on Sundays.

One evening, while at the fuelling station trying to purchase fuel for my generator, Oga Jude strolled in.

He asked me to wait up for him, and to my surprise, he paid for my fuel.

Then he started: "the law, I'm worried. Wahala dey o."

"What happened?", I asked him.

"When you go get chance make I discuss with you as my lawyer? I need advice."

I told him to come to my office and I gave him the address.

Truly, on the appointed day, he came.

He tossed a court process on my table.

I looked through the process and I discovered Oga Jude had been sued and was to pay 12 million naira in damages for breach of promise to marry.

I was shocked!

"Oga Jude, who did you promise marriage naa?"

He said "my brother, na that my girl naa...that yellow girl wey you dey see for my house steady."

"What happened naaa? Marry her naaa. That girl is clean and homely."

"Marry who?

"How many times I wan marry? I don marry born 3 children."

Jesu!!

My jaw literally dropped on the table.

He continued: "The issue is that my wife and kids are coming back from the UK to stay with me for the next six months and it's likely they may not go back."

So what do you want me to do? I asked

"What did you do to this girl that has made her rush to the court to seek redress? Did you actually promise to marry her? What steps did you take?"

He came out clean with me.

When the girl refused to part with her innocence, he indeed went to the girl's parents to declare his intention to marry her in the presence of kit and kin.

Convinced of his intentions, like a sheep to slaughter, he led her to his bedroom and ravished her countless times to his fill.

When he was weary of her body as expected, he wanted to discard her.

I listened to his ramblings and I was bitter in my spirit.

Looking at his file, I observed that the lawyer who prepared the brief was a friend, so I called him on the phone and booked an appointment.

When we met, he told me that the brief was sponsored by some members of the church the lady attends.

He had been paid fully. The said girl and her family were not spending a dime and they were hell bent on getting their pound of flesh from my oga Jude.

I dug deeper and I heard the gut wrenching and sordid details of the affair.

After several abortions, 3 years of "dating" and false promises, Oga Jude just woke up one morning and told the girl he was married and had kids and so they had no future.

She pleaded and begged, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

She kept coming but he kept embarrassing her back to back.

He even beat her up mercilessly one time, tore her clothes and threw her out on the streets.

She sent emissaries, but they were embarrassed and given their marching orders.

Oga Jude had gotten the juice he craved and had no need for the "container"

Then the phone calls stopped.

The visits ceased and Oga Jude basked in his new found freedom.

The young lady out of heartbreak attempted suicide twice and was extremely depressed.

She later swallowed her shame and confided in her pastor who took her in and referred her to a counsellor and psychologist.

It was the pastor who also doubles as a lawyer that opened her eyes to her options in law and the need to sue Oga Jude if she wanted.

Of course she took up the option with both hands.

Now it was her turn to pay back Oga Jude with his own dirty coin.

The lawyer friend told me:

"Baba, as that girl dey so, she no get 1 naira shame again. She don scrape hair dey wait prison. No extent wey that girl no go reach to get that money. And the fact she's not spending a dime makes her even more dangerous. Advise your client make him pay. We even hear say him be elder for where him dey worship sef. I intend writing them by this weekend make them knack am back seat first."

I called Oga Jude after the meeting and he called her bluff.

"She no go fit do am. No be that small girl wey I know? She no fit. Who dey give am mind? If I see am sef I go beat am. Who she be? She be amateur golddiger. I don tey for this game."

I begged him to call the lady and reach an amicable settlement as the case looked bad but he was adamant.

The case came up in court.

The judge was female. A mother.

Wahala don tie wrapper!!

When the initial mention stages as well as pre trial conferences passed, we delved into full hearing.

The lady was called to the witness box. The court was filled to the brim.

She stood there. Ice cold. Spotting a bald head and a bold earring, she swore on the Bible and adopted her evidence.

Judge: "Ubani, cross-examine the witness"

Me: "my lord, the bar is full.
I will just take a bite. Maybe one or two questions then we take a short date"

Judge: "very well then"

Me: "Young Lady, how are you?"

Witness: "I'm fine"

Me: "So how long did you have this affair with the defendant?"

Witness: "three years, Four months and eighteen days"

Me: "and in all these years, you never knew he was married?"

Witness: "Barrister, are you asking me? You lived in the same area with him. Did you ever know he was married?"

Me: "I'm asking you a question my friend.
I ask, you answer. That's how it works here. So Answer me and quit being petty"

Judge: "young lady, Answer him"

Witness: "I never knew he was married"

Me: "My lord may I at this point take a short adjournment so I can refuel and come back better prepared"

Judge: "Take a date. Call the next case"

As soon as we stepped out of the court, the lady accosted me.

"You are now calling me young lady shebi? like say you never see me before. Can you say you don't know me? If it was your sister that they messed up would you be happy? I had 4 abortions for this man. He gathered my entire family and told them he would marry me. Didn't he tell you he did "knocking of door"? This idiot standing there has collected list from my family. I rejected 3 marriage proposals from serious men because of this he-goat. Now he wants to leave me."

Turning to Oga Jude, she said "I will ruin you even if that's the last thing I'll do in this life. You never see this side of me. Now you will see it. You will know that there are some fruits you don't eat in secret. We shall see. If this court doesn't give me justice I will try something else. I will make you miserable. I will wreck your home. Your wife will know me. Just wait."

The adage "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned" quickly played through my mind.

She stormed out with the rest of her family members.

Oga Jude just stood transfixed. He didn't utter a word.

On our way to the car, Oga Jude said to me
"the law, I've never ever seen that girl like that before ever. That girl can kill me like this without blinking. You see as her eye dey shine fiam fiam!! She don go even barb mallam join. Kaiii I don cast! 1Please the law, call that your lawyer friend and set up a meeting. I have too much to lose. My church, my wife, my job, my reputation, my kids, my peace of mind."

I did set up the meeting and the lady reluctantly agreed to accept 10million naira, a written and oral apology to her immediate and extended family and a Jeep for her parents.

Oga Jude paid. Painstakingly.

And that was how that case died albeit unnaturally.

Don't you dare take anyone for granted o!

If you push some people to the wall, their claws and fangs will appear.

Are you currently going out with someone you have no intentions of getting married to?

Advise yourself accordingly."

This story is not mine. A colleague posted it in our Lawyers' Group. However, I must say that as a lawyer, many people are yet to take advantage of their rights of BREACH OF PROMISE TO MARRY

"If you're currently going out or in a relationship with someone you have no intentions of getting married to, I suggest you read this article very carefully.

This is coming from a legal perspective and so I suggest you take it seriously.

Back in 2013, I once had a neighbour who lived two buildings after mine.

He was a man in his mid forties and worked at an oil company.

The man was comfortable within his rights and appeared very much ready to settle down.

Later on, we started seeing a very light skinned, timid lady around his apartment.

When our transformer blew to smithereens and invitations were sent to every building to discuss about a new transformer, it was the lady we met and served her the letter.

She practically lived there.

Since the man who I will call Oga Jude ( not real name) was from a conservative religious group, I always saw the lady attend church services alone on Sundays.

One evening, while at the fuelling station trying to purchase fuel for my generator, Oga Jude strolled in.

He asked me to wait up for him, and to my surprise, he paid for my fuel.

Then he started: "the law, I'm worried. Wahala dey o."

"What happened?", I asked him.

"When you go get chance make I discuss with you as my lawyer? I need advice."

I told him to come to my office and I gave him the address.

Truly, on the appointed day, he came.

He tossed a court process on my table.

I looked through the process and I discovered Oga Jude had been sued and was to pay 12 million naira in damages for breach of promise to marry.

I was shocked!

"Oga Jude, who did you promise marriage naa?"

He said "my brother, na that my girl naa...that yellow girl wey you dey see for my house steady."

"What happened naaa? Marry her naaa. That girl is clean and homely."

"Marry who?

"How many times I wan marry? I don marry born 3 children."

Jesu!!

My jaw literally dropped on the table.

He continued: "The issue is that my wife and kids are coming back from the UK to stay with me for the next six months and it's likely they may not go back."

So what do you want me to do? I asked

"What did you do to this girl that has made her rush to the court to seek redress? Did you actually promise to marry her? What steps did you take?"

He came out clean with me.

When the girl refused to part with her innocence, he indeed went to the girl's parents to declare his intention to marry her in the presence of kit and kin.

Convinced of his intentions, like a sheep to slaughter, he led her to his bedroom and ravished her countless times to his fill.

When he was weary of her body as expected, he wanted to discard her.

I listened to his ramblings and I was bitter in my spirit.

Looking at his file, I observed that the lawyer who prepared the brief was a friend, so I called him on the phone and booked an appointment.

When we met, he told me that the brief was sponsored by some members of the church the lady attends.

He had been paid fully. The said girl and her family were not spending a dime and they were hell bent on getting their pound of flesh from my oga Jude.

I dug deeper and I heard the gut wrenching and sordid details of the affair.

After several abortions, 3 years of "dating" and false promises, Oga Jude just woke up one morning and told the girl he was married and had kids and so they had no future.

She pleaded and begged, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

She kept coming but he kept embarrassing her back to back.

He even beat her up mercilessly one time, tore her clothes and threw her out on the streets.

She sent emissaries, but they were embarrassed and given their marching orders.

Oga Jude had gotten the juice he craved and had no need for the "container"

Then the phone calls stopped.

The visits ceased and Oga Jude basked in his new found freedom.

The young lady out of heartbreak attempted suicide twice and was extremely depressed.

She later swallowed her shame and confided in her pastor who took her in and referred her to a counsellor and psychologist.

It was the pastor who also doubles as a lawyer that opened her eyes to her options in law and the need to sue Oga Jude if she wanted.

Of course she took up the option with both hands.

Now it was her turn to pay back Oga Jude with his own dirty coin.

The lawyer friend told me:

"Baba, as that girl dey so, she no get 1 naira shame again. She don scrape hair dey wait prison. No extent wey that girl no go reach to get that money. And the fact she's not spending a dime makes her even more dangerous. Advise your client make him pay. We even hear say him be elder for where him dey worship sef. I intend writing them by this weekend make them knack am back seat first."

I called Oga Jude after the meeting and he called her bluff.

"She no go fit do am. No be that small girl wey I know? She no fit. Who dey give am mind? If I see am sef I go beat am. Who she be? She be amateur golddiger. I don tey for this game."

I begged him to call the lady and reach an amicable settlement as the case looked bad but he was adamant.

The case came up in court.

The judge was female. A mother.

Wahala don tie wrapper!!

When the initial mention stages as well as pre trial conferences passed, we delved into full hearing.

The lady was called to the witness box. The court was filled to the brim.

She stood there. Ice cold. Spotting a bald head and a bold earring, she swore on the Bible and adopted her evidence.

Judge: "Ubani, cross examine the witness"

Me: "my lord, the bar is full.
I will just take a bite. Maybe one or two questions then we take a short date"

Judge: "very well then"

Me: "Young Lady, how are you?"

Witness: "I'm fine"

Me: "So how long did you have this affair with the defendant?"

Witness: "three years, Four months and eighteen days"

Me: "and in all these years, you never knew he was married?"

Witness: "Barrister, are you asking me? You lived in the same area with him. Did you ever know he was married?"

Me: "I'm asking you a question my friend.
I ask, you answer. That's how it works here. So Answer me and quit being petty"

Judge: "young lady, Answer him"

Witness: "I never knew he was married"

Me: "My lord may I at this point take a short adjournment so I can refuel and come back better prepared"

Judge: "Take a date. Call the next case"

As soon as we stepped out of the court, the lady accosted me.

"You are now calling me young lady shebi? like say you never see me before. Can you say you don't know me? If it was your sister that they messed up would you be happy? I had 4 abortions for this man. He gathered my entire family and told them he would marry me. Didn't he tell you he did "knocking of door"? This idiot standing there has collected list from my family. I rejected 3 marriage proposals from serious men because of this he-goat. Now he wants to leave me."

Turning to Oga Jude, she said "I will ruin you even if that's the last thing I'll do in this life. You never see this side of me. Now you will see it. You will know that there are some fruits you don't eat in secret. We shall see. If this court doesn't give me justice I will try something else. I will make you miserable. I will wreck your home. Your wife will know me. Just wait."

The adage "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned" quickly played through my mind.

She stormed out with the rest of her family members.

Oga Jude just stood transfixed. He didn't utter a word.

On our way to the car, Oga Jude said to me
"the law, I've never ever seen that girl like that before ever. That girl can kill me like this without blinking. You see as her eye dey shine fiam fiam!! She don go even barb mallam join. Kaiii I don cast! 1Please the law, call that your lawyer friend and set up a meeting. I have too much to lose. My church, my wife, my job, my reputation, my kids, my peace of mind."

I did set up the meeting and the lady reluctantly agreed to accept 10million naira, a written and oral apology to her immediate and extended family and a Jeep for her parents.

Oga Jude paid. Painstakingly.

And that was how that case died albeit unnaturally.

Don't you dare take anyone for granted o!

If you push some people to the wall, their claws and fangs will appear.

Are you currently going out with someone you have no intentions of getting married to?

Advise yourself accordingly."

This story is not mine. A colleague posted it in our Lawyers' Group. However, I must say that as a lawyer, many people are yet to take advantage of their rights of BREACH OF PROMISE TO MARRY

My dear village people, it is another time for us to continue the gist we started on Romantic Stereotypes. The goal is to redefine and question all our beliefs about relationship and marriage.

Last time, on part 1 (ARE MEN REALLY MOVED BY WHAT THEY SEE?), the truth we discovered was that men are moved by what they see. Today, I want to show you some further, that women may be more moved by what they see than men do. Ehen, today’s topic is MALES FIRST, BEFORE MEN (Biology before Psychology). In other words, WOMEN ARE MOVED BY WHAT THEY SEE.

It is generally agreed by many that men are logical beings and women are emotional beings, but how then do we say that and yet, in another breathe we say that “men are moved by what they see”? Where does their sense of logic disappear to?

Two things control us a lot; Nature and Nurture!

So, if you asked me, by nature, women are moved by what they see, but by nurture, they are raised and cultured to move and control men by what they show men. They ought to be the hen and men the Peacock, but we rewired their brains. Follow me.

If I offend your religious beliefs, forgive me. However, although humans possess a spirit, a large portion of our makeup is animalistic, it is biology. And as such, we are classified as mammals, homo sapiens sapiens. This has to do with our natural bodies. Yes, we are spirits who have a soul and live in a physical body and that body has at least, a third of us.

In the romantic and sexual relationships of mammals, it is the male that makes a show, display some fanfare and exhibit some to see behaviour in wooing the females. It is never the other way round (unless in very few species).

Consequently, the females make their choice based on who shows off the most and catches their attention and most especially, fancy. For humans, the boys with the big phones, blings and sneakers get most of the girls. Not the one with the fattest account (unless the woman knows the digits in the Account).

If men are really moved by what they see, how come most of the big butts, giant boobs and crazy curve girls in our communities are single, but the flat bumbum, almost no breast, rat hair babes are the married folks in your circle? I mean, how come babes are more afraid to display their guy to fellow babes than guys are with their babes to their male friends? Just thinking.

By nature, I believe that women are moved by what they see as much as, if not even more than men are moved by what we see. Furthermore, I believe women started the show off thing to catch men when men were not willing to get married and needed to be caught. Even at that, based on looks, women may even be the ones who are more selective than men.

A comedian once said that when a man marries, he doesn’t want the woman to change, but when a woman marries, your wardrobe, hair, parlour arrangement, drapes and many other things that the eyes can see begin to get changed. With these few points of mine, I hope I have successfully put up an argument against the popular belief that “men are moved by what they see.”

What if it is your wrong beliefs all these years that have kept you single?
What if?

If you need further clarity on the issues discussed here, you can contact me via Whatsapp +2348125086798 or send me an email through earlalright@gmail.com

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @AlrightsPassion

You rock!

May your dreams come true

Kestolove:
I hope to be suck one day

This piece is not expected to serve as legal opinion or counsel. It is just a semi-educational and enlightenment material and should be regarded as such.

When I wrote "https://www.nairaland.com/5799672/what-nollywood-not-tell-divorce (what Nollywood may not tell you about divorce), I tried to help you understand some truths about Divorce in Nigeria that you may never see in the movies. In this piece, I want to help you protect your sanity if you choose to divorce.

I once read in an Awake! as a teenager that “divorce is like a mini-death” and today that I am 9 years as a lawyer and 16 years as sex, relationship and marriage counsellor, I can tell you from my experience on the job that the statement is almost totally true, save for some exceptions. My goal in this piece is to help you take advantage of the exceptions so that divorce doesn’t become a mini-death for you.

Allow me to tell you how to preserve your public and social dignity and your personal mental and emotional balance through and after a divorce.

1. Know what you want

When some clients come to my office and request for divorce, I sometimes wonder if it is divorce they want or revenge on their spouse and his/her family. It is my belief that the marriage has been toxic and life-threatening and you are actually taking your last life-line by opting for divorce, and so, the goal ought to be a divorce at all cost. When you do things to show that you don’t mind staying in for some time longer and don’t mind going through plenty fights in court and on social media to pay back your spouse and the person’s family, I then wonder if you were also a good person in the marriage equation. It is a divorce that you want, get it at all cost for the sake of your life, sanity and that of your kids if you have any. Leave revenge and payback to God, and if you don’t believe in God, leave it to karma.

2. Don’t play dirty.

I have seen people who lie on their spouse and about their marriage in a bid to make their lawyer and the judge believe that they should get the divorce immediately at all cost. Some who have never shed a tear in the last 10 years come to court with some Eucharia’s and Nkiru Sylvanus’ crying skills to emotionally try to compel everyone to show that their spouse is wicked blah, blah, blah. Let me tell you something, you don’t need all the drama; all you need is just the simple resolve that you don’t want to live with this woman or man again as husband and wife. And hey, just as the law cannot force two people to marry each other, so also the law cannot force two people to continue in the marriage. If one says “I no dey do again” and “I no wan do again”, no judge would refuse you a divorce. Remember that divorce is what you want.

Some folks have actually instigated some fights and adultery in their marriage just to have grounds and proofs to get a divorce against their spouse. Nah, don’t belittle yourself that much. You are bigger than that. Get a smart lawyer and your divorce would be smooth without your dirty linen being spread on a high-tension wire for the world to see.

Let it go

Some people come for divorce and still fight for some maintenance, properties, monies etc. even though in reality, they can reasonably live and do without them. I am not saying you shouldn’t fight for some benefits where necessary, but if it would make the divorce go dirty and affect your public and social status, dignity and most especially your sanity, let it go. Remember you are fighting for your life and sanity, so let go of anything that can tamper with that unless it is something that you cannot reasonably do without. Please, don’t let lawyers make you take arms for a war you don’t want to fight. The more the fight, the more your lawyer would make but the less human you would come out from the divorce. Always remember that your dignity and sanity is what’s at stake here.

3. Go discreet

As much as you can, instruct your lawyer to file your divorce in a court outside your neighbourhood (or state sef). Don’t put it on social media (those people do not have joy) and as much as possible, if the person is not a very dear friend that can keep your secrets, do not tell people about your divorce. I don’t know any divorce that got into the cyber space that did not become dirty and mentally exhausting.

4. Sue the bastard

“Sue the bastard” is a law car sticker that actually reads “sue the bastard, defend the idiot”. I brought this in to say if your spouse wishes to make things difficult for you, pursue peace as much as you can, but if his tactics and demands are vexatious, then allow your lawyer to do his job. Don’t try to retaliate outside court in the community, work-space or social media. Let all the fight be and remain in court. If you get attacked, let your lawyer handle the situation through the police and through the court. Never stoop low to battle divorce in the community, office or social media.

If you need further clarity on the issues discussed here, you may contact your lawyer for more enlightenment. Personally, I wouldn’t answer your questions if you contact me via Whatsapp me +2348125086798 or send me an email through earlalright@gmai.com

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @AlrightsPassion

You rock!

One very common question I always get to answer is what sexual activities are right or wrong in a marriage. You know, some things are very easy to answer because the Bible just drops it black and white. But you see, God did not create dummies. So He gave us a mind or our own and intelligence to use. So, we usually say that anything that God did not say, Black and White, He has left to us to legislate upon. However, because we have to use our intelligence and not all of us share the same background and all the same information, we do not agree on the many things.

First and foremost we need to realize that the Bible does not prescribe a particular sex style in marriage and neither does it condemn anyone. Even the famous Missionary Style was only recommended by missionaries after the book of Revelation. Oral history is that human’s major sex style was Doggie. And some missionaries argued that doggie was what most mammals did and humans were superior to animals and that we needed something more dignifying sort of.

So the love-hug sex style which is popularly known as missionary style became named after the missionaries. We cannot verify the veracity of this story, however, we learn by observation. Before Adam and Eve, there was already a possibility that animals were already mating in Eden and since doggie is the most common mating style of most mammals, it must have been the only sex style Adam and Eve observed before they had their first sex. Consequently, doggie may have been their first and perhaps, their most frequent sex style.

So, is MouthAction proper or not?
I like the question. It does not say if it is Holy or not. It is not if it is godly or not but if it is proper or not.

The first rule I usually give married folks regarding sex is;
Everything is allowed as long as it doesn’t violate your faith, conscience, that of your spouse or jeopardize the health of any of the parties.

And when it comes to sex, every part of the body is a sex organ. This is why hugging and kissing are sexual behaviours and activities. MouthAction appears to be a subset of Mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is when a partner stimulates the genitals of the spouse to give and receive sexual pleasure (and satisfaction). When this stimulation is done on the male with the hands, it is called Hand Job! When done with the mouth, it is called Mouth Action, MouthAction and the likes. When this stimulation is done by a husband on his wife, if it is with his hands, it becomes Fingering, if it is done with the tongue, it becomes Head, MouthAction, MouthAction etc.

So in essence, sucking of the boobs or genital actually fall under masturbation since it is not genital to genital. Even if it is genital to genital as in the case of grinding, hot dog, dry hump, wet hump and the like, it still falls under masturbation sort of. Remember all of these falls as sex.

Different types of sex;
Sex between mouths and tongue is what we call kissing. Hehehe. No wonder the Bible doesn’t use sex per se but fornication, for many of us think that sex is when the penis enters the vagina. Hahaha. No wonder some people that have danced on the fence through the wet and dry hump, fingering and handjob think that they are still virgins. Well, as sex counsellors, we call them technical virgins.

Back to the issue at hand. What are the pros and cons of MouthAction?
The answer to this is what will determine if we recommend it or not, and most especially if it should be practised in your marriage or not. Remember that First rule I usually give married folks regarding sex is:

Everything is allowed as long as it doesn’t violate your faith, conscience, that of your spouse or jeopardize the health of any of the parties, and when it comes to sex, every part of the body is a sex organ. This is why hugging and kissing are sexual behaviours and activities.

One Side!
MouthAction looks very dirty. You know, Paul said that our least honourable body-parts are what we care for most and cover-up. Well, that shows that from time, people have always thought of the penis and vagina to be ugly (although I do not totally agree with them).

If you have ever seen a used sanitary towel or menstruation flowing out, you would never want to take your mouth down there. Not just that, many people are dirty. Dirty underwears, poor bathing regime and the likes. So it is easy for bacteria to possess that area. Well, for these folks we usually advise MouthAction or not change your underwears every day.
Bath at least twice every day, and pay special attention in washing that area (with water). We do not really recommend soap or any other substance for women as it can alter the PH of the vee-jay-jay.

For men, don’t rub soap and leave it there especially medicated and herbal soaps. Your scrotum sack breathes. It absorbs what comes on it. And if it absorbs chemicals from your bathing soap, that is bad!

The Other Side!
MouthAction is a more guaranteed way for women to achieve orgasm far more than vagina sex. MouthAction is one way to give and receive sexual pleasure and satisfaction without the fear of having another child. It is also a great way of pleasing and satisfying your wife if you have erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation

So, to end this, take note that to him that is pure, everything sexually within the walls and boundaries of his marriage is pure.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

If you need further clarity on the issues discussed here, you may contact your lawyer for more enlightenment. Personally, I wouldn’t answer your questions if you contact me via Whatsapp me +2348125086798 or send me an email through earlalright@gmai.com

You Rock!

lasher1:
Op tell them o, because after lockdown nau mumu gehs will start carrying load to one man's house like that claiming WhatsApp ignited love.

To any babe who wants to fall mumu, especially those sending nudes sorry to break it to you ITS A SCAM!

hahaha

Attention breeds affection. And almost everyone has too much time to give and throw around right now. Many of the folks chatting with you late into the nights and in the early hours of the morning aren't really into you; they are just bored, lonely, alone and most likely, IDLE.

In reality, many people are just using each other to while away excess time, catch fun, cure boredom and feel wanted. You would be just too wrong to interpret their attention to mean "love and a deep interest in you" without first considering that there is a lockdown in their house and COVID-19 out there in our streets.

See, I don't even think you really care about him/her as much as you fantasize. COVID-19 is the one making us mushy-mushy up and down. This is not our real face/heart/attitude/predisposition o. Na condition make this crayfish bend. And once that pandemic condition goes, all of us will return to default factory setting mode. All this love love na wash, na face mask, na an idle heart is the romantic adventure workshop. Post COVID-19 will be the true test of whatever you think you have or share with that fellow right now.

Here is my counsel -- don't commit to any relationship until COVID-19 is over. Until normal life resumes, you cannot really interpret how much they are into you. You cannot tell how much time and attention they can really sacrifice for you. YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO BE GHOSTED.

And if anyone tries to be super-duper romantic towards you, you need to read this so that you can know how to DEFINE THE NICENESS https://alrightspassion./2016/11/29/define-the-niceness/

baralatie:

thank you

You are welcome Baralatie

Miniso:
Y do women fight for the custody of kids when most can't independently take care of these kids. Nawa o

It's because they feel emotional towards them based on mother-child ties and connections.

MrBrownJay1:
what person in their right mind would take what they see in movies (let alone Nolly movies) as a representation of ANYTHING in real life?!?

Unfortunately, many people do. It is even because of what I have held from clients during this lockdown that made me draw this up

I agree with you.

thesicilian:
Divorce is never the best option, but if its the only way to maintain your self esteem, sanity or life, please go for it.

This piece is not expected to serve as legal opinion or counsel. It is just a semi-educational and enlightenment material and should be regarded as such.

Let's talk about divorce since many people would be choosing the option after COVID-19.

First things first:

Divorce is not cheap and Nollywood is not a Legal Adviser.

Nothing like prenups.
I will start with the Nollywood part. Nigeria laws have no room for "prenups." You can't draw up an agreement that would govern divorce, separation and other legal matters yourself before the marriage in our country. So a prenuptial contract or agreement on how the property would be shared in the case of a divorce are not provided for in our laws and have also not been tested in our courts. In Nigeria, you don't write the terms of your marriage contract, the Marriage Act and other laws have already come up with the terms. Your job is simply to agree or not agree.

So if you see any Naija movie or know any couple that has prenups, uncle, idleness and ignorance "is what's doing them." This is why you should always seek legal advice (especially from a lawyer practising in litigation) to make some legal decisions.

Maintenance is available.
Dear women, our laws have no provisions for alimony. However, we have an alternative to it which is "Maintenance" and this can be paid to a man or to a woman. Payment of maintenance is not gender-sensitive which means it could be paid to a man or to a woman. Also, note that maintenance can be paid to the children of the marriage who are less than 18 as at the time of the divorce, and can be paid till when they are 21years old (depending on what the judge orders). Maintenance for spouses may in some cases be for life especially in situations where the couples were already old as at the time of the divorce. However, once a divorced person remarries, maintenance ceases and can no longer be demanded.

No man has any duty to fund your welfare and pay your bills after a divorce unless the court orders so. And the factors to consider are so many that you better do not expect to make a fortune from divorce in Nigeria. Properties not jointly owned by the couple may also not be jointly shared after a divorce.

No "secret divorce."
Divorce is usually (with some few exceptions) messy, dirty and vexatious as the hearing is in public where the general members of the public are allowed in. Reporters, bloggers and even your enemies have the right to take a seat in the court's gallery. Very few divorce hearings happen in the chambers of the Judge, and the decision to have the hearing in the Chambers of the judge is at the judge's discretion. Outside such hearings, every other thing is in Public. Every document in court is a public document. Therefore, members of the public are allowed to apply for the Certified True Copies of the court's records of your divorce proceedings as long as they pay the specified fees and show sufficient cause.

The good thing about the public hearing part is that for statutory marriages, such divorce proceedings could be instituted in any State High Court or Federal High Court in Nigeria. So, if you want some privacy, pay your lawyer to go and file the divorce in a remote village where no house-fly knows you. However, remember that your spouse can challenge this on the basis that the location of the court is not convenient for him or her to effectively participate in the court’s proceedings and do his/her case judiciously.


Divorce Proceeding is not a speed train.
Divorce takes time especially if there are paternity, custody and adultery issues involved. It is not a sharp-sharp thing which you can fully get in 6 months. Yes, depending on the workload of the court, the nature of the divorce and all the parties involved, some divorce matters could actually last as long as 3 years. You read me correctly; three years (if not even more)! Let's be encouraged, our judicial system is being revamped for the speedy dispensation of justice to litigants.

Folks who expect their lawyers to give them a divorce certificate in 3 months literally want him to forge and be involved in other crimes as it is almost not possible for that to happen. Folks living abroad should also take note that divorce cannot ORDINARILY be done in your absence especially if you are the petitioner or you choose to cross-petition. Our rules of Court require that you, the petitioner/cross-petitioner, appears in-person to give physical oral evidence in court. The other option to this your evidence in writing and notarized in your country of residence. Such notarized statement (on oath) can serve as your own testimony in the case here. However, not every court accepts this option. Many judges insist you appear and show up in person.

Fight for the kids.
Custody is another ball game entirely. That you are a woman doesn't automatically mean you would get the kids. That you are the man who pays all the bills doesn't also automatically mean you would get the kids. Divorce is a battle. Na civil war! However, a bad parent before the divorce petition would most likely lose custody of the kids in court.

Paternity is another thing entirely; DNA is the lifesaver! Generally, every child born in the course of a marriage ordinarily belongs to the man in that marriage. Therefore, you must prove scientifically and otherwise that the child doesn't belong to the man in the marriage. The law says that he who asserts must prove!

Forgive the society if you can.
Our laws, courts and society are pro-marriage. So, to divorce, you must really show almost beyond all reasonable doubt that the two of you cannot reasonably continue living together as husband and wife before a divorce would be granted.

Fees, fees, fees.
Let's talk about your lawyers’ fees.
Remember I said that divorce isn’t cheap! Lawyers charge high fees for divorce cases because of how mentally and emotionally challenging and exhausting it is to handle one. Some lawyers no longer do divorce cases because of how such cases have messed up with their minds towards marriage and their emotional health generally. Some single lawyers are afraid to marry because of the cases they have handled and seen. Also, some married lawyers are scared of committing 100% to their marriages because of the experiences they have had in court. Remember that save for some very few cases, divorce is usually messy, dirty and vexatious!

Lawyers generally charge 3 fees:
1. Filing fees
2. Appearance fees
3. Professional fees

A filing fee is money the lawyer pays to the court for every time he files a paper/process. Appearance fees are the money the lawyer collects for every day he goes to the court whether the court sits or not. Professional fees are the fee the lawyer collects for his mental, emotional and intellectual industry employed in handling the case. Then we also have what is generally called a mobilization fee. This is the money paid to the court's bailiff (messenger) to serve papers and also to the court's clerk and the like to fasten some things. Nigerians should understand me. This fee ehn, e even dey vex lawyers sef. A court bailiff could ask for 5k to serve process in a place that would not take him up to 1k to go to-and-fro.

No mercy.
Let me clear one misconception: Many people think it is the person that files a divorce petition that spends more. Nah!
Whether you are the petitioner or respondent, your fees do not change. So, if you are waiting for your spouse to go to court because you don't want to spend money and want him/her to do the spending, you are just acting very ignorantly. Many respondents even spend far more than the petitioner because of "cross-petition".

May I also mention that asking your lawyers questions even by WhatsApp attract fees because it is legal consultation. You are consulting the lawyer for legal advice and legal opinion. That in itself is a big legal service which ought to be paid for. So, if you enter your lawyers DM and he charges you for his data and his time, he would be legally correct before God and man to do so.

Nothing is really cheap in this country: not even the goods you sell or the services you render.

If you need further clarity on the issue discussed here, you may contact your lawyer for more enlightenment. Personally, I wouldn't mind sharing these thoughts, take questions and give answers in your WhatsApp group. Terms and Conditions apply sha. You may just Whatsapp me +2348125086798 or send me an email to earlalright@gmail.com for more discussion on this.

Now, you can see that those Naija movies where people are required to give, agree to and sign divorce papers are false representations of our legal system. Obviously, the scriptwriters and directors are not aware of what obtains in the country where they live. What a shame!

Finally, my brethren, divorce ain't cheap and Nollywood isn't a legal adviser.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

You rock!

I was hosted on a radio show yesterday on this same topic. I salute all those who kick against it. follow me on twitter or IG with @AlrightsPassion where I treat issues like this too

Nigeria is very funny, just because of Lassa Fever, you want to destroy wild-life and ALL rats? In case you guys don't know, Lassa Fever has been in Ekpoma for more than 20 years and the population of that town hasn't dropped. I have lost friends and family, including mom to the fever several years ago before you even heard of the fever, yet, we didn't conduct any operation kill all the rats. Show some sense people, why kill all rats because of one rat? I think we need more intelligent people in government and health sector. #ReceiveSense2016

because of a topic like this, I wrote two answers in the past as blog posts. God shows off His affairs http:///nouuvcj
and love is what I know, not what you think https:///8P6Rx7N7G you may like them