₦airaland Forum

wolverine - the chance to leave forever

wen d policy dey start self make i knw

thank God my fone ring

GoodFaith: TRUST?
If you trusted her you will not be here asking for help

I'm asking 4 help doesn't mean i don't trust her.

DRealGeesam1: I swear if anyone insults me i will insult rubbbish comot for him body.
I even came quickly to appologize and some people want to be showing big head here.
Mtchw

My mum told me she have to leave d hauz 2 look 4wer to buy salt by 4:30am, she called my phone by 4am as a caring mother to inform me, and u said no body shld insult u as if u did d rite tin.

can u date ur childhood friend whom u played silly play with and also bath together outside ur house naked.
I'm going to use this as a medium to advice my friend whose childhood friend is in love with.

GoodFaith: Dude that so call Girl friend
was serving other man

there is what we call trust dude

Babamide: Question 1- is she actually your girlfriend??

hmm hmm na my mama, see question!!! wat are you trying to say?

ba7man: Speak for yourself. Because you might "do worse" doesn't mean everyone will do the same.

Were you born yesterday not to know that what he speaks of is what's being going on for decades in Nigeria??

u guys are jst being bias, is everybody clean wat of Obama will u tell me he's a saint he doesn't steal from his country. Nigeria some of us are sadist who find who to blame 4 deir failure. guy no b UNCLE JO do u o. Jonathan 4 2015

Nwoguphillip: All a waste of time Joe Biden knows he is corrupt inept and clueless....the American embassy in Abuja have already briefed him of all the nonsense going on in the villa so no solution ...Protocol is why they r meeting ......we have been let down again by a useless govt stealing money to keep in foreign accounts. Joe Biden knows all the fronts and foreign accounts they are using ..he us a former intelligence chief so he just de look n laugh because they are using the stolen wealth go balance their liquidity issues since the Nigerians just stash the money in the accounts for safe keeping .i shake my head violently ....a God save nigeria

na una 2 dey follow steal abi, if u were in is shoe u will do worst than wat u jst say.

donphilopus: Lol... My President looks good, though he's leaving Aso Rock come 2015!

na u wan pursue am comot? he looks good in the suit.

i called my girlfriend twice she busied the call and immediately switch her phone of without reason. After 2 hours i called her again she didn't pick it, 10mins later i called her with another number she picked it and started giving silly excuses.
If you were me what will you do? advice please no insults, thanks. I NEED FEMALE COMMENT MORE!

A philosopher, a mathematician, and an idiot die and go to heaven.
They arrive at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter greets them with a smile, but the devil is standing beside them. The three men stand there looking very confused. Saint Peter tells them that heaven is getting very crowded, and only those who can trick the devil gain entrance to heaven. The three men agree and the devil approaches each of them separately.

The devil comes up to the mathematician first and says "Give me any complex mathematical equation, and I'll solve it."

So the mathematician thinks for a while and give the devil a problem. The devil solves it and hands it right back to him. The mathematician says "Alright, I'll go to hell." And off he went.

The devil then approaches the philosopher and says for him to give him any sophisticated philosophical idea, and he'll explain it. So the philosopher does this and gives it to the devil. The devil, again, explains it and the philosopher agrees to go to hell.

Finally, the devil goes up to the idiot and says in an annoyed tone "Alright, wattaya got?"

The idiot thinks for a second and then declares "Get me a chair." The devil complies and gets the idiot a chair. "Alright, now drill seven holes in it." Again the devil complies and drills seven holes. Then, the idiot sits down in the chair and he farts. "Alright," the idiot declared with a grin. "Which hole did my fart come out of?"

The devil was taken aback, and stood confused at the idiot. "Uhh, that one!" The devil said as he pointed to a random hole.

"No stupid. My asshole!"

The idiot goes to Heaven.

One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!”

The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”

“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…”

“Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.

"I want to be with the Queen, help me"

So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Queen starts to feel the effect. Arthur, desperate, calls Merlin to advise him on what to do.

"Your majesty, this is an enchantment which only the saliva of noble knight Lancelot can cure. He must apply it to the Queen for three hours"

The King concedes, and Lancelot has his wish granted. The next day, Merlin goes to Lancelot:

"I've kept my part. Pay me"

"What? I won't pay you for only three hours!"

This angers Merlin, who leaves, then puts itchy powder on the King's boxers. Arthur, in pain, calls out:

"Lancelot!"

technophile: Ranking based on what?? cos if it's based on customers service then non of the banks should make top 10,000 list most especially that Firstbank.

guaranty trust bank serves well

Rubbish talk, she is a virgin till i'm proven wrong.

No b all cause my gf fine die.

KOKOBILO - because he always tell us to bend b4 he flog us.
OKI - because he use oki biscuit and sachet water as his lunch den.

appelmoieddy: Lol...0p what's the title of your story

the apologizer and the unforgiven heart.

PAGAN 9JA:
I have achieved quite a lot and there is still more to achieve. I wont reveal my identity here.

wat will i use ur identity for, all i knw is all u are saying is pointless

PAGAN 9JA:
'

and you know more than me about what I am talking about?

are you the second jesus?

i'm nt jesus, bt how i wish pple lyk u get wipe away 4 dis earth, 4eva!!!

PAGAN 9JA:
and you are more literate than me?

*smh

dont teach me about the origins of man. my point is clear.

if you have the brains, you will comprehend.

now dont waste my time.

u knw wat i hate talkin 2 some1 who doesnt knw wat he's talkin abt.

PAGAN 9JA:
you have no arguments to make.

Ive been dealing with missionaries ever since i was a kid when they visit my village.

I know their psychology and the christian mindset.

after arguing wit dem where are u in dis life. Wat have u achieve wit dat?

PAGAN 9JA:
Dude im speaking from the perspective of a Nigerian and a Tribal.

Tribe comes before these (foreign religions), ESPECIALLY when we are talking about marriage.


The sons and daughters of Oduduwa have the right to marry each other.

The sons and daughters of Bayanjidda have the right to marry each other.

The sons and daughters of Eri have the right to marry each other.


No jesus or muhammad who were born yesterday has the RIGHT to create rifts between our people, when our tribes and customs predate the birth of even these abrahamists grand papa.

If you are of the same blood, no external force has the RIGHT to prevent you from marrying each other.

u talk like an illiterate, have u even read abt d origin of ur each ethnic group in 9ja. It rite 2 get 2 any body u love irrespective of their religion, tribe.

m

ballabriggs: Worry about your people, worry that they are becoming more and more ignorant by the day while irresponsible women like Adaobi leave Onitsha to rot and take advantage of their ignorance. These are the things that should bother you and not Fashola.

Fashola has made his mark and Lagos will never forget him. What legacies have your leaders left for you if not increased cases of kidnapping and baby factories.

wat u yorubas dnt undastand is witout ibos lagos wnt hav been wat it is, nd u r talkin about baby factories wen all yoruba young girls dey cari as fashola snd tell dem say na govt work. oh! is he creatin job opportunity 4 u guys, remember he said education is not 4 all d yorubas. yorubas after birth wat else? agbero or to go kiri... f*** y'all yorubas. rep imo state.

m

ballabriggs: Worry about your people, worry that they are becoming more and more ignorant by the day while irresponsible women like Adaobi leave Onitsha to rot and take advantage of their ignorance. These are the things that should bother you and not Fashola.

Fashola has made his mark and Lagos will never forget him. What legacies have your leaders left for you if not increased cases of kidnapping and baby factories.

wat u yorubas dnt undastand is witout ibos lagos wnt hav been wat it is, nd u r talkin about baby factories wen all yoruba young girls dey cari as fashola snd tell dem say na govt work. oh! is he creatin job opportunity 4 u guys, remember he said education is not 4 all d yorubas. yorubas after birth wat else? agbero or to go kiri... f*** y'all yorubas. rep imo state.

babsomotde: You talk trust? No man or woman can be trust but there are some people that one can have confidence in. To my lover, I will be giving her 99.9 %confidence in her but trust is 0.01 %... Abi?

mine is the best