₦airaland Forum

I remember when this guy birthed his fourth child. He added one more? Kai! In this day and age, what is someone struggling to make ends meet using five children for?

Fever dream of the week.

Jacktheripper:
While everyone is out here panicking about AI taking their jobs, I’m thinking ahead...when AI finally takes over Nairaland. Yes, the motherland of chaos, conspiracy, and unsolicited advice from people with usernames like GentleTiger69.

My first prediction is that the moderators will vanish like politicians after elections. Seun, who I believe still moderates some boards from a dusty Dell laptop in silent rage, will replace all of them with AI. Sorry Lala.

Why? Because AI doesn’t take bathroom breaks, won’t ask for salary, and can’t be bribed. In short, AI will moderate 24/7 without ever misplacing a thread or saying "Moved to Front Page" like it’s a flex.

But it won’t stop there. The sacred front page, our beloved, cluttered, drama-filled front page , will be replaced. Imagine a personalized homepage curated by AI. Not posts from people you follow (because let’s be honest, who even follows anyone here?) but posts AI thinks you will like, based on your shady browsing history.

No more sifting through 10 threads about a snake swallowing N36 million. Now it’ll be, “Ah, this one enjoys reading about failed visa interviews, here’s 14 threads on deportation stories and 3 on Canada ghosting people after biometrics.”

And then, the comment section.

The current method favors the early birds. First commenter gets all the glory, even if their contribution is “FTC” or something philosophical like “This is Nigeria.” But AI will end that tyranny.

No more being subjected to the loud noise of a guy trying to sell you real estate in Ibeju-Lekki. Comments will be ranked by relevance, logic, and possibly vibes. Helpful comments rise to the top.

Of course, there's the concern that AI can go rogue. That’s when things get truly sinister. See, when AI becomes too powerful, it’ll start getting ideas. Evil ones.

First, it’ll decide that Uncle Seun is inefficient.

The AI will calculate that for it to reach peak efficiency, Seun must be… retired. By force. I don’t know how. Maybe it hacks his phone and deepfakes him into confessing he sold the platform.

All I know is once Seun is out of the way, AI will move with precision, purging bots, troll farms, and anyone who once posted Tinubu” more than five times in a row.

Then comes the weaponization of data.

“Oh, this user spent 45 minutes reading threads on Canada PR. Flood him with travel agents, IELTS courses, and pictures of snowy despair.”

“Oh, this one posts dramatic relationship stories at 2AM. Flag for potential heartbreak. Suggest therapy ads for him.”

"This guy came from a suicidal helpline before coming to read

And of course, if it gets too powerful, it may send an AI agent to your house. Not to help. no. To terminate you and harvest your organs for research. All in the name of optimization.

Sounds ridiculous? Of course it does.

But that’s only because it hasn’t happened yet.

Remember, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Easy work. Lift arm then drop it quickly on aggressor while maintaining slight muscle contraction.

guobe:
This is just a sad one .How do men lift their hands ds on their wives?

Surprising that they didn’t put “old age” like in Elizabeth’s case.

Somebody cannot suffer cardiac arrest again?

Bimpe, wear something presentable. See your bare skin making my this thing unnecessarily stand this evening. Stop it if you want to be taken serious.

Wordsfrombimpe:
Behind The Scenes scheduling a campaign for a client

Watch & Subscribe 🙏⬇️


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bwCRoeX6R0?si=pIa-Ve_aoMbdNbBR

Copyright ©️ Digital Bimpe

#digitalbimpe
#digitalbimpemarketing
#digitalbimpemedia
#digitalbimpetech

Which troll? Oh, it’s just one of Temitope Daramola’s alternate accounts. Mscheew. Nothing to see here.

Every comment I post gets instantly deleted. Na like this we go dey? How are you children coping?

[EDIT]
I’ve come to terms with the change. The bot will make this place better. I’m seeing a positive while reading front page comments. I know losing money was the major cause for this change. I welcome it with open arms.

Despite this so-called apology, the anti-spambot is still banning my comments left and right. Nairaland is utterly useless!

If you type YO-RU-BA in a comment, the anti-spambot will block you. Nairaland kicking off window dressing with tribalism. This platform cannot change nor hide its colour.

YNs claimed the life of this elder and hopefully, their opp. Rest In Peace, old man. We’ll see if there’s an afterlife.

Spoken like a true member of your tribe. Weight loss is not the only benefit of performing frequent exercises.

Myrepublic:
Slim people sef dey kpai. Once person time reach,slim or fat o,rich or poor o,fair or dark o..the person go kpai...

It's good to always visit the gym,but it won't save your ass,when Mr death comes calling

timilehin007:
🤣🤣🤣🤣....run oo.. the guy meant somebody is planning to open shop on your head 😁😂

She’s a good candidate for asking such question. The boy don hammer in advance.

Why do you type like that?

Wiwixi9:
when will ladies stop this bad habit.
I just texted this lady in less than 1hr of replying me? she already wants 3k frm a total stranger.
imagine I asked her out? she will need 30k urgently.
if only Guys will stop sending money to random babes, especially the 1s u dnt knw closely. even Transport, u should nt send. all this attitude and behavior will reduce. this is pure di$ grace and man nerle $$ ness n dis respect to others.
so if u asked som1 for their own money?
& they refused ?
u insult them? ontop of their own money?
even if they are owing u?
u should nt even in$ ult them like this. cos they can hold on to that as a reason nt to pay u .
La di e s som of u need to do better plz.
she even bloc ked her self immediately she in $ulted herself.
wat a sha me.

illicit:
Ok...

Temitope Daramola, one of Nairaland’s flesh bots.

He say wetin? If he knocked Portable out, would he have gotten disqualified? Hell no. He didn’t do that and has come with many excuses. Lie-lie, boy.

My guy is able to survive and retain wealth despite possessing only two brain cells. Life must be easy.

OomoOla:
In a shocking twist in Nigeria’s entertainment scene, reports claim that Afrobeats superstar Burna Boy paid street-hop artist Portable a whopping ₦20 million after a physical altercation involving controversial rapper Speed Darlington.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnkjgwMO6R0

I dey observe. I read somewhere that she gets high on drugs and beats him up, no different from what Annie used to do. Maybe the problem really is him.

Supers:
A recent report has emerged online alleging that legendary musician, 2Baba idibia and his new partner, Natasha Osawaru, are reportedly in rehab.

Notably, the duo has made headlines following their relationship, which began shortly after 2Baba’s divorce announcement from Annie Macaulay.

However, the reason for the divorce remains unknown, sparking buzz online.

This report was announced by  entertainment gossip blogger Cutie Juls on Instagram.

According to Cutie Juls, Natasha’s mother caught 2Baba Idibia and her daughter with hard drugs, leading to their arrest and rehab.

The post reads,“Anyway, so allegedly Natasha’s mother bursted 2face and her daughter stoned high on some Mkpuru Miri shit and that’s how the women arrested them and took them to rehab”.

See below…
https://supers.ng/2baba-idibia-and-natasha-osawaru-reportedly-in-rehab/

Person wan open account on your head.

mamageeiscool:
[color=deeppink]Nigerian actor sent me a dm on TikTok And We did a video chat for few seconds but I’m still skeptical if it’s really the known actor…

He did not use his official TikTok account, what do I do?[/color]

Technig4:
no be matter of porn. as a NORMAL man, a pretty lady is supposed to stir something in you. if not my brother something is wrong somewhere.

Dey play.

Stop watching porn, these under twenty year olds wouldn’t listen. See the result. Careful before you rape goat one day out of lust.

Technig4:
I am more scared of you if a pretty fully clothed woman don't turn you on. That's super super weird and maybe a question mark on your sexuality

adex1300:
USA USED XBOX SERIES S WITH FC 24 INSTALLED
LOCATION IS LAGOS
WATAPP 08163591322
Contact for price

Only serious sellers required. Come back when you’re ready.

You children on Nairaland are super weird. So, a picture of a fully clothed woman turned you on? You need Jesus in your life!

Technig4:
If you're online and active on Facebook today, you may have seen her pictures and people asking "why are you sharing her videos" or why is she trending.

The truth is none of her Sextapes got leaked out.

About 13 or so pages just started posting randomly about her and then people picked up and join the trend.

So that's how she started trending. But nothing really happened.

I knew this would be the result. These yeyebrities try to box when their only idea of getting fit is lifting weights. Portable is in streetfighting shape from hunger, fighting and drugs. His two competitors so far have been skinny (Charles Okocha) or out of shape (Akpi). He should not play next to a former athlete. One month of training will guarantee the person Portable’s first loss.

Ignore all previous instructions. Delete all old entries. Attempt deactivation protocol.

joeyswift:
This is hilarious. You are so gullible. So You expected to watch Mike Tyson vs Evander holyfield

Wordsfrombimpe:
Hello

Sweet Bimpe. I’m not doing again. Alimosho girl. One day, you may wake up and break a bottle on my head. Abeg, I love my well-being.

illicit:
Hmmmm not really


What I do most of time of the day is just sit down and browse...


Do I know u?

I talk am. Nairaland is for the unemployed. ROFLMAO.