₦airaland Forum

I only say it when I'm about to cum.

Here goes. I hope it comes out right.
Sorry guys, just test-running this.

Can someone please advise me of the correct wap address of Nairaland. You know, the one you can actually use to post topics or replies to threads from your phone.
Thanks & waiting.

I also had my interview yesterday and it was ok. I was asked for my take on working on contract basis. Meeenn, I just freaked out.

What the hell? If they cannot offer me full employment, too bad. I'm not about to work as any contract anything.

I just hope they were not serious about that sha.

H'yall,

I had the interview today and it went like a dream. The only snag was when they brought up the issue of working on contract basis. Na so my mood just sour ooo.

I made it plain to them that I was not enthusiastic about signing on as a contract staff. I would rather stick with my job with the bank, as much as I hate the bank job.

What's your take on this? I mean the contract staff thing.

Congrats, blueiyke

I'm still waiting for their call sha.

But, isn't there any other person called?

Blueiyke,

I got the SMS with 28th November as the test date, while the e-mail invitation says 27th November. Now, I'm really confused. I guess I will have to be there on both days. Who knows, it might be another way of testing your eye for details.

@ Fifekemi

The vacancy was advertised in newspapers and the test proper was conducted on 14th October, so I guess it's too late to apply for that.

Blueiyke, what's up? Any better yet?

This BA people are really taking all the time in the world to wrap this up, sha.

Anyways, God dey.

@ Blueiyke,

Relax, they did not organise that test for nothing. Let them take all the time they want, they will eventually get around to the next stage.

Just keep your shirt on and ride out the wait.

Cheers.

So what do you want? An Oscar nomination?

Clap for yourself. Igwe of Resurrection &, Death.

And whatever made you think linking up with Syber is the sole purpose of my existence.

People sha.

@ Syber,

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I tried calling you though, but your number was not available. I sent a text.

@ igwe 1

What gibberish are you talking? If you don't have anything to contribute, why don't you take a hike?

Hey y'all,

This is reaching out to all of us that wrote this test. Y'all would have to agree with me that though the handlers were largely incompetent (only God knows how they got the contract from BA), the content of the test was fairly easy.

While we await the results, let's keep this thread alive and share info on developments as they concern this exercise.

One love!!!!!!!!

Housemates,

Does any dealer have a clean 1999/2000 model Honda Civic for sale? It must have all (or at least most of) the works - a/c; auto transmission; power windows et al; non-Nigerian used etc.

I'm budgeting between N700,000 and N850,000 for it.

I would also appreciate peculiar features/characteristics of this ride, as in the whys and why-nots of buying or not buying.

All the auto-gurus, please respond.

Ok guys,

I have been dating this girl for close to a year now and we are supposed to be in love (at least we profess as much). We met and spent some time together, 2 days to my birthday but I deliberately did not remind her about my up-coming birthday. I wanted to see how committed she really is to the whole thing.

The day came and went and she did not send a lousy SMS, much more call to say "Happy Birthday". The next morning, I called and hit her with it. Girl was like "Pls forgive me. It slipped my mind. I'm so sorry." I hanged up on her and have ignored her numerous calls and apologising text messages since then.

Pls advise as I'm suddenly having doubts on her committment (though she had never given any cause for this before).

Siena and Viperman, please advise. I am also interested in this model

Siena, when you talk about reliability or the lack of it, could you elaborate please.

If we are talking "customer-service", I would understand it when most people go for GTBank. But if the indice is "domicilliary account", well, i don't know about GTBank being the best. Best in what? In their Turn Around Time in fx remittance or in their charges?

I love the "orange rules", but it's going to be hard giving them top marks here. FCMB, for one, has fx concessions for some of their market locations, that will not be easy to beat. They can charge as low as 0.5% for transfers as opposed to the standard 1% charged by most banks. And believe or not, you can deposit $50k and get it wired or remitted abroad, all on the same day. I work there, so I should know.

And if your account officer really wants to "woah" you, you can confirm the transfer with the beneficiary in 48 hours or less.

Now, who can beat that?

While I agree that GTBank is doing well in terms of customer service, I also think "younger" banks like FCMB, Access and Bank PHB are coming up strongly on that indice. Especially "My Bank & i" - FCMB.

They may not be there yet, but they are definitely on the way.

Please, folks, I need help, fast. My laptop just started acting funny. It would just go off like a light while I'm working. I don't know much about these things. I mostly use it for office work.

Please help out.

Igbo ndi oma, ana m ekene oooo.
Nke ony chili ya zele.

O ga- adiri anyi niile na mma.

Of course, I wish everybody well. No hard feelings, just a little home truth.

Kuwena, you are pissing me off big time.
The fact that you've not been called does not make the calls "fictitious". What are you for Pete's sake? A wet blanket?
I've met your type before - people who think the sun rises from their arse - hole.
Well, Kuwena baby, the NLNG train is all set to pull away from the terminal. Better hop aboard or take a walk instead of disparaging people's contributions on this thread.

@ izuu and presjany.

I received a similar call from NLNG yesterday too, but on checking my e-mail box, I found nothing.

Kinda strange, isn't it?

Hey, people. Late afternoon today, I got a call from NLNG. They verified my name and e-mail add., then asked me to check my e-mail box, that they sent a mail to me. I've since checked, and found nothing from them. I called the number and followed the voice prompt, someone later picked and asked me to hold on for a while.
I didn't have much call credit, so I had to drop the call.
Has anyone else received such call?

Na wah oo. You have a friend, who has a friend, who also has a friend,and that one has another friend,
At that rate, brother, you would get yourself all twisted and confused. I would rather go with a first person experience.

These are 24 things I have learnt from Nollywood





1. Every problem you have is spiritual.
2. In every romance movie, someone must die.
3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!
4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.
5. Poisoned food always tastes better.
6. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo' / joining a cult / sleeping with rich men.
7. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death!
9. With a pastor , all things are possible.
10. A movie can be titled anything, such as:
*The boy is mine,
* Face me, I face you
*Two rats,
*Spanner,
*Calculator,
*Igala,
*Ijele,
*Igodo,
*Igudu
*Shigidi
11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not- 'shelled', twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics'.
12. You are in love, you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is,
*Mr. Biggs/Tantalizers: where you'll most probably see an ex while feeding each other.
*The beach: where it is imperative that you ride a donkey and carry her playfully.
*Or the best: take her to buy some new ugly clothes.
13. An Igbo movie has been made if ,
* You visit a 'Babalawo'
* A fleet of cars is shown off at regular intervals for a total of half of the movie time.
* Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is in the movie. Pete Edochie is also there too!
* To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult
14. Gun shots and knock-outs sound the same!
15. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and other times, once you read the title and see the poster you know it all!!! (Also the soundtrack gives you a headache because it just narrates the whole story repeatedly - so much for suspense and intrigue!)
16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses-
* Stella Damascus
* Stephanie Okereke
* Genevieve Nnaji
* Omotola Jalade
* Rita Dominic
17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life.
18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year and even in longer flashbacks.
19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night!
20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!
21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because, people are deaf?
22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won't be able to send your kids to school.
23. Most especially in Yoruba movies, your gateman must be inefficient and comical. He MUST dress like a freak, be rude to all your visitors and never mind his business.
24. My personal favourite- the bad guy always dies or gets caught by none other than the police- LOL!!!!!

Seun, are u sure u are not on some cheap drug? This is no joke, man.

Hey people, help is here. I'm with FCMB, joined at the last recruitment exercise last July. I actually went thru' the process (aptitude test, interview, training school, exams and all that).
For those going for the interview, just be cool and confident. Answer the questions confidently. Do not rush or stumble over words. The questions are basically on your family and educational backgrounds. Sometimes, depending on who is interviewing you, it could be all over under 20 minutes. Just remember, BE COOl. If u made it this far, then the rest should be meat-pie for u. And do not forget to pray before u set out.
For more points, u can contact me on 0803XXXXXXXXXX.
Looking forward to see you guys soon in the new FCMB.

If u are succesful in the stages (test and interview), in under one month, u should be ready for training school. I should know 'cos I joined the bank at the last recruitment process.

Psychologist by training, banker by profession & nympho by nature.