Emiru's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › The Reason Why We Fought [for Matured Minds] by Emiru(op): 2:22pm On May 14, 2013 |
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started |
| Jokes Etc › Aaaaaarggh, What Have I Done To Deserve Such An Embarassment? by Emiru(op): 2:11pm On May 07, 2013 |
Abikuku was in the restaurant yesterday when he suddenly realized he desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so he timed his gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, he started feeling better. he finished his coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at him.... Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his iPod. |
| Jokes Etc › Potential Vs Reality by Emiru(op): 2:00pm On May 07, 2013 |
An 8 year old son asks his father "what is the difference between Potential and Reality" father turns to his wife "would you sleep with George.W. Bush for $I million ? Wife"of course i will never waste that opportunity" father turns to his daughter "would you sleep with Brad pitt for $1 million?? daughter"yess,h e is my fantsy" father turns to elder son "would sleep with Tom Cruisefor $1 million? Elder son"why not! Imagine what i would do with all that money" Finally Father turns to his youngest son " You see son,Potentially we are living with 3 millionaires but in Reality we are living with 2 Prostitutes and 1 Gay |
| Jokes Etc › Childhood Escapades. Let's Be Sincere To Our Selves. by Emiru(op): 6:02pm On May 06, 2013 |
Which among these did you practice when you were young? 1) Dip the bread inside the tea? 2) Mix d entire white rice andstew before eating 3) Crack d bone and suck outd marrow 4) Can't eat d meat until u finish d food 5) Put d morning tea inside the freezer to block 6) Bite d crown and put it intod bottle of coke 7) Put d medicine inside d rollof eba  Licking d plate with your tongue9) walking bear foot and holdyour new shoes for everyone to see. 10) pretend to be sleeping when asked to observe siesta. 11) look at the pictures of ur book only, when forced to read. 12) always observed the " i touch you before i go " principle at every parting time. 13) swallow the rice and never chew any grain. 14) acting the father or Mother at night plays and sometimes imitating d main event. 15) close ur eyes when actors/actress are kissing. 16) greet ur elder the number of times you pass each other. 17) Answer these, drop urz and Let the fun begin.... |
| Jokes Etc › What's Ur Sex? by Emiru(op): 5:40pm On May 06, 2013 |
Akpos being interviewed at the US Embassy CONSUL: "Your name, please?" AKPOs: "Akpos" CONSUL: "SEx?" AKPOS: "SIX times a week." CONSUL: "I mean, male or female?" AKPOS: "Both male & female& sometimes even camels." CONSUL: "Holy cow!" AKPOS:"Yes, cows & dogs too." CONSUL:"Man, isn't that hostile?" AKpOS:"Horse style,dog style,any style!" CONSUL:"Oh dear!" AKPOS:"Deer? No deer, they run too fast!! did AKPOS passed the interview  1 Like |
| Politics › Re: Ibori's Conviction Appeal Dismissed In London by Emiru(m): 9:29pm On May 02, 2013 |
[b] So, what do we learn from this? All of you drawing conclusions from arrant presumptions nd assumptions made to 1 or 2 pesins shud undrstnd dah we are all human. The fact dat som1 waz blinded by blood nd luv 4 his locality nt to see d rungs done by their people in power, shouldnt be read dah everybdy are lyk dat. It depends on ur approach, besides we are all criticizing GEJ...buh to be sincere, we all prayed and voted, hoped nd think he is d future of Nigeria's success right?? Now why complaining, life itz all abt lot...when ur trust falls on d wrong pesin, u don't shout nd run ur tommy becos it can't be changed. You jez av to wait patiently nd pray 2 God dah u dnt make dah mistake again. Besides no1 expected dah GEJ wuld be as he prove 2 b now, based on certain conclusions. Hiterto, there are thousands, if not millions out dier dah still love GEJ and think he nid some time to settle down. Others think he is doing something great, while you fink he is a failure right? As d saying goes, ONE MAN'S GAIN IS ANODA MAN'S LOST..nd it has bin interpreted in many ways. @topic When dis guy called Ibori was stealing our money without sympathy, he was being applauded by many and called "SHARP GUY" . Even when d present Oga at d stealing zone in Delta State d oda time, embezled billions nd waz caught, he den quickly adjust himsef saying he waz 2 use dem 4 buses nd oda means of communication (dah waz a divine intervention dough, it waz a good luck on awa side. Thought d management av bin sold awt as at now) . He waz shund and was named "a dullard" becos he waznt as sharp as Ibori. Now the brain, and one of d most intelligent críminals called James_Ibori is in rottin in prison all of u ar trying to show sympathy, when d going was good he didnt stop becos he finkz he can neva be outsmarted. He brought everyone dah waz 2 stand on his way 2 nufin, and u all fink its partiality 2 d Niger Delta bla bla bla. Well we can try an experiment, ur governor shud undergo d same thefery with Ibori and lets see who will get the highest numba of Years in cell! [/b] 2 Likes |
| Celebrities › Re: Rihanna Buys Chris Brown A £700,000 Car For Birthday (PHOTO) by Emiru(m): 10:49pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
vykte: Wht's d rationale behind d comparison? Pls tink before u post.be mute and reasonable, he jez made a point. When a Jet was bought 4 a pastor u all rattled and jangoled insulted ur heads, now a mere gurl bought a car 4 a guy dat av once proved her worthless and uselex u all will say "true love neva dies" . You don't, can't and will never know what that man of God had done to d lives of his members and d nearest environment...be wise. As my friend said, GOD PUNISH SATAN!!! |
| Romance › Re: Farting In Front Of Your Partner. by Emiru(m): 10:18pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
life_style: Says who ?can you fart in d front of ur best friend?? What about ur partner? Cordiality deals with less or no privacies nd no odds. If you can fart in his presence some times den u guys aint close enuf. From ur post and d various comments make me undrstnd dah ur relationships are nt total, i mean it does nt touch every aspect. Relationship is based on friendship, nd u can fart in ur best friends presence and u look him/her with a "corner eye" and a new topic wil begin 4rm d "fart" (quite a playfull topic), if dis can't happen den u av a long way to go. Becos dier are some or all privacies must be cut off btwin both of you...says LOVE!!! |
| Romance › Re: The Most Painful Thing You Have Done For Love by Emiru(m): 9:48pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
Vilicious: like I said you are intelligent no doubt but I dont think those that make huge sacrifice in the name of love are fools.[b] 1. They are not fools neither are they wise. 2. They are fools, if dey are blinded by love and dier gain or interest. And sacrificing to som1 dah does not worth it, buh becos dey are beautiful or handsome nd shuldnt be let go jez lyk dat. If what dey do doesnt glorify God, lyk stealing 4 a girl or emptyin ur bank accnt to buy d latest cell phone 4 ur girl friend whereas som1 is in ur school who needs half of d half of dat amount 4 school fees. When We sacrifice to impress and not help, we lost it there. We must help others, nt only our gf'z or bf'z. Love shuldnt blind u, or else u wil regret 4eva. Stand in love and you both will win but fall in it, then u lose. It shouldnt b interpreted dat sacrifice shouldnt be made, buh on what ground...why?? A neighbour is in need of 2000naira to pay 4 an important matter, nd u said u dnt av becos ur girlfriend nids to do her hair....u ar wicked. Don't do things dat u can't be proud of when its said in public. Like taking soldier wipe 4 ur gf, is sth 2 b proud abt...what abt missing ur final year exams jez to mke sure she doesnt leave u Be wise friends, its an obligation to love, buh we should love with our senses not love-lost. Stand firm in luv don't fall in it, and u both wil av a befitting lovey testimony! [/b] 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: The Most Painful Thing You Have Done For Love by Emiru(m): 9:29pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
emekatimsu: I left my base in PH to go visit a babe love in Bauchi state without informing any frnd or relative. The eve of the night i gt to Bauchi a riot broke out in d corpers lodge where my babe ws staying and it tured out to be a game of running fr survival....my babe left me and went to seek fr proper protection while i ws a JJC in d town,i did nt knw wia to run to for safety. Infact i narrowly escaped short sleeve frm one of d murderous looking hausa rioters.i'm so freaking sawie ma bro, next time you should stand in love don't fall in it. Secondly, make sure what you are doing glorify God not her. And she should worth it, becos if u do it 4 d wrong person...regretiology takes charge. I'm sorry bro tyson99: I used to travel from shaggy to lagos then to see her by the road side because her father doesn't allow her to go out so i will stay by the road until they send her on an errand,i never knew i was just suffering myself until one day she told me its over!True suffering bro, buh u sure say she love you be4? Habaaa!!? |
| Romance › Re: The Most Painful Thing You Have Done For Love by Emiru(m): 9:22pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
emekatimsu: I left my base in PH to go visit a babe love in Bauchi state without informing any frnd or relative. The eve of the night i gt to Bauchi a riot broke out in d corpers lodge where my babe ws staying and it tured out to be a game of running fr survival....my babe left me and went to seek fr proper protection while i ws a JJC in d town,i did nt knw wia to run to for safety. Infact i narrowly escaped short sleeve frm one of d murderous looking hausa rioters.i'm so freaking sawie ma bro, next time you should stand in love don't fall in it. Secondly, make sure what you are doing glorify God not her. And she should worth it, becos if u do it 4 d wrong person...regretiology takes charge. I'm sorry bro |
| Politics › Re: Police Arrest Cow For Murder In Ogun by Emiru(m): 9:06pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
First of all, i will cross examine d cow's laps in ma tommy after eating! Like seriously don't you fink those police men gat anoda stuff in mind 4 d cow?? Pm news don spoil show...nd besides, why u dey tell us....mke we go d court or mke we pity d cow?? Plz we need concrete and relevant stuffs, nt "teeth blow breaking" and "cow arrest" sirs!!!  |
| Politics › Re: Woman Removes Man's Teeth With Slap. by Emiru(m): 8:57pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
candygosh: Ewooooohhhh!!! *faints* candygosh: Ewooooohhhh!!! *faints* candygosh: Ewooooohhhh!!! *faints* |
| Celebrities › Re: Genevieve Nnaji And Agbani Darego Straight-Faces (Picture) by Emiru(m): 3:55pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
tosinsongz: Even If them dey cry ur babe no go still fyn reach dem[b] what d heck iz decivin ya dah dose gurls are beautiful Can u picture genny'z face wen she jez started? They aint beautiful don't be decieved. This z jez d work of money, nd besides a pretty gurl looks prettier even witawt make ups nd when frowning. Buh tke a luk at dose gurls now, av u seen genny widawt make ups? What abt ur american or foreign celebs, no go dia..if u see my sisters and my gf, u wil av a gr8 nd mighty testimony 2 tell nd it wuld help wash ur inferior mind since u avnt seen ani beautiful than those two creatures. For me, i hav seen humans "cutter" than beyonce nd d heck of them. You know only celebrities nd models are recognizd diz days, i wuld luv u 2 see my sista...nd my gf (best friend) ..IT wil help u i swear. Jez come 2 delta state, u wil know dah we are blessd. [b/] |
| Celebrities › Re: Tonto Dikeh’s Story & Pictures From Her Music Video Shoot by Emiru(m): 12:14pm On Apr 13, 2013 |
Ah af heard, u jez wana do smtin 2 mke us fink twice abt ur controversy...isnt it? |
| Celebrities › Re: Tonto Dikeh’s Story & Pictures From Her Music Video Shoot by Emiru(m): 12:12pm On Apr 13, 2013 |
Ah af heard, u jez wana do smtin 2 mke us fink twice abt ur controversy...isnt it? |
| Politics › Re: Policemen Claim NSCDC Officials Provoked Them Into KIlling by Emiru(m): 2:01pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Okija_juju: Yes indeed they were provoked...mtcheeew.. I'm ashamed dah u still dwell in the past.. Whats ur church website..school or company? Or state or even 9ja site? Ur time starts now. |
| Celebrities › Re: Blackface Was Not Invited To 2Face's Wedding by Emiru(m): 3:00am On Mar 26, 2013 |
Make una tweet 2face na... If na so dem dey 4get old tym pals, he must surely come down somday..no mata how high he seems 2 fly. *ma bebe..u are the one dat i'm callin, i'm callin baby i'm callin...* lol, i luv dis music die ow. 2 Likes |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by Emiru(m): 5:00pm On Mar 14, 2013 |
My Man...diz is really hilarious...af laft awt ma nerves..thumb up bro.. 1 Like |
| Christianity Etc › Re: God Asked Me To Retire, Says Pope Benedict XVI by Emiru(m): 11:11pm On Feb 24, 2013 |
Its better 2 retire than to rot in hell lyk sm oda popes. He is wise nd i pray God help him 2 b mor committed 2 his work even dough he z nr lnga d popeg |
| Fashion › Re: Makeup Looks Men Love by Emiru(m): 7:53pm On Feb 18, 2013 |
"Make ups" are made 4 gurLs dah are not beautiful naturally 2 "make them up 2 d standard" lol... If d government should ban make ups nd surgery.. Hahahaha, ah cnt stop laffin...den u'ld know dah guyz ar really 2cute compared 2 d way gurLs are ugly widawt make ups.. And dat nt witstandin o, som gurLs look odd nd ugly wid make ups. For example a gurl dah lives close 2me wuld av lookd reali nyc if nt 4 ha demon lyk make ups. Tiz nt bad 2 make u up 2 standard sha. Buh note dah dose widawt mke ups ar mor preferable 2me becos i now c d real u, d plain beauty in ur natural colour.. Nah wen u mke up nd u den luk gud ..buh wen u wake up in d mawnin u ar an ape..  *smiLes* if u ar beautiful den u dnt nid mke ups 2 make u up 2 standard... Enjoy!! (cheesy) |
| Sports › Re: AFCON 2013 Champions - Thoughts And Reactions by Emiru(m): 9:49pm On Feb 10, 2013 |
I nr get |
| Sports › Re: Nigeria Vs Burkina Faso - AFCON 2013 Final (1 - 0) - On 10th February 2013 by Emiru(m): 9:17pm On Feb 10, 2013 |
Hmmmmm. . . Phcn don tke light . . What a nation! What's pompin in da feild? #EBA ON MA MIND |
| Sports › Re: Overconfidence Will Kill Nigeria - Burkina Faso Fans by Emiru(m): 3:11pm On Feb 10, 2013 |
That's true nau! If nt dat diz is d final and Nigeria is my country i wuld av supported burkina faso due c d overconfidential nigeria fans. Rem d ivorians waz ova confident nd waz whit washed. . D ghananians 2 now itz d turn of d super eagles we ar running our mouth as if d players ar jez goin 2 stand in d field and watch d super E score a hundred goals. U remembr dah diz waz d same team dah miracoulously escaped d group stage. . D players whr nt changed neither waz d coach buh u fink dey ar goin 2 do magic diz tym around. . They drawd in dier last match which means dey whr equal nd it also entails dat d burkina babes ar even beta becos nija waz d first 2 score.Tke it 4 instanse it ended up in penalty who wuld av won den So dnt talk trash.Letz be prayerful nd trust in God.Remembr dat God always glorify d humble.if we misbehave now. . God may glorify dem 2 our shame. . Just dat d players ar nt overconfidential i pray so.Cheers nd dnt tink d burkina fasoans are nt lame.Thanks |
| Sports › Re: Did Nigeria Threaten Mali To Lose The Match ? by Emiru(m): 5:53pm On Feb 06, 2013 |
What sort of nonsense are you saying ? How does d AFCON d pride of dier nation gat 2 do wid d help given 2 d malians Young man words are cheap buh very expensive wen it results into actions!!! The malians said dey wuld win d super eagles inoda 2 mke dier country blissful once again afta d crisis . . .nd u ar here sayin 'it seems dah. . . .smh 4 u o |
| Nairaland General › Re: Has A Vehicle Ever Splashed Water On You On The Road? by Emiru(m): 4:16pm On Feb 05, 2013 |
first tym on first page . . So Joyous# @op why will u read ours when u havnt highlighted ya own part of d story? |
| Education › Re: 2,000 Fake Teachers Uncovered In Kaduna Public Schools by Emiru(m): 8:54am On Nov 11, 2012 |
How does this affects d rate of coruptn in 9jiria? |
| Science/Technology › Re: World's Youngest Male-to-Female Transsexual by Emiru(m): 10:33pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
musKeeto: We should be blaming your confused GOd for not creating people 'right' in the first place.. kids with two heads, six fingers, half balls, hermaphrodites et alTomorrow u'll be crying and moeing saying.. GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME .. And u re laying d blood guilt foundation now.. Turn 2 Jesus and be fufilled i swear u'll not regret u did.. If only u 'll serve Him 2 d fulliest bro.. |
