radicalove:
To Treese, you should never have gotten yourself pregnant for a man that does not love you, let alone getting married to him. Amaka's law of Relationship states that "It is better for a man to love a woman more than the way she loves him, not the other way round"
Love is not by force and you can not force him to love you. I understand how you feel my Treese, the only crime you committed was LOVING A MAN THAT DOES NOT LOVE YOU. You have virtually done everything just to win his love, but it is not working.
How can a man tell you not to give him problems on your wedding day and you still went ahead with the wedding, believe you me, if I were in your shoes, my answer to the question "Will you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband to love and to Cherish till death do you part?" would have been a "NO NO NO and NO, let the heavens fall if it wants to. What nonsense?
Who knows? You might have been a lot happier being a single mother, instead of living 3 years of your life trying to please an undeserving man.

Adeboyefa:


According to http://www.nysc.gov.ng/certificates-info/cr-cert-exemption.php , "With effect from 1st August, 1985, a person shall NOT be called upon to serve in the service corps if, at the date of graduation or obtaining his diploma or other professional qualification" :
1.He is over the age of thirty (30) years.
2.He has served in the Armed Forces of the Federation or the Nigeria Police Force for a period of more than nine months; or
3.He is a member of staff of any of the following:
a.The Nigerian Security Organization or
b.The State Security Service, or
c.The National Intelligence Agency or
d.The Defence Intelligence Service
4.He has been conferred with any National Honour.
These categories of persons are therefore exempted from service and issued with the Certificates of Exemption.
-------------

I haven't seen exemption of ill ,pregnant or nursing people there. Pls tell NYSC to include it on their website to clear the air.

...........All around the camp, NYSC had posted signs saying PREGNANT OR NURSING MOTHERS ARE FORBIDDEN FROM SERVING. I worry that while they force pregnancy tests on us this year, the next year they may force ‘nursing mothers’ tests on all serving female Corpers, asking us to strip down as they feel our breasts to see if they are producing milk........
http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/2009/12/forced-open-air-pregnancy-tests-at-nysc-camp/

donwise1:

I don't mean graduates dat collected exemption letter and didn't serve.
I mean those that willingly didn't collect exemption letter and didn't serve.
Not exemption letter is mainly given to graduates that has passed the 30 year old limit

donwise1:

Dat is if u want to be self employed or settle for megre jobs.
It's better to close ur eyes and do the one year stuff. Even as a self employed graduate, u won't get any government contract assuming u are into engineering. And u knw government contracts is where the money is

kmaxx:


Copied!
So, graduating above 30 n getting an exemption letter equals me with the fella who has served? Meaning I can still contest for elective offices?

donwise1:
* No government work both federal, state, and LG for the person
* No swag as a graduate
* Some people will question ur successful graduation from school
* No NYSC experience stories wen u get older
* No alawee...( change)
* etcetc

KingsJohnson:
Fellow Nairalanders, pls i do have a friend who will be graduating come this October, but he is indecisive whether to go for NYSC or leave the shores of Nigeria for greener pasture.

Then my question is whether there is any implication for not going to Youth Service?

haul:
Never try to fight or have the back of an average black man cause they will turn their back at you, have learnt a black mans mind can be easily be convinced so far you have material things

An average black man won't talk to his fellow black cause he still practices his african religion reasons being he found a new foreign religion which is against it,how about preaching love? .......

bigfly:

Bros it is just a feel good excuse, the lady said her ex was helping her brother to secure a job in oil firm, it is obvious the appearance of d ex is the major problem of this matter, I must confess her husband mishandled the ex thing because he could warned her instead of behaving as if his not concern then he called his own ex.
After the ex stuff things just keep getting worse for them.

Not everybody can handle ex around their spouse especially the one u called your only and best love.
Others just ignored the fact and made reference to incidence after ex.

All her actions and reactions portray her as a cheat even though It may not be so.

To me it is d immature husband that was trying to play tit for tat but his emotion can not withstand it, but his wife was far ahead of him in the game.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying she is cheating on him but she acted a cheating wife better than d husband could form strong head.

Mutendiwashe:
if everybody makes mistakes why shouldnt the woman's mistakes be worked on?

Mutendiwashe:


last time i checked marriage doesnt work on doing something knowing well it is not right and expecting positive results to yield from it either.

Mutendiwashe:

Medical reasons a wife is not informed of before removal of the ring?
Couples that dont use wedding rings usually choose to do so after mutual agreement, which is not the case here.

Insidous:


I am glad that you knew that before hand, sexist pig

Mutendiwashe:
show me where i gave lame excuse for her to cheat? If you remove your wedding ring, do you think its very reasonable to expect her to continue being a jolly good wife after having such an insult to her union thrown in her face?
Why would you do something you wouldnt want the other person to do to you and still expect everything to remain remain rosy?

You should never open your marriage to trials you cannot handle when thrown back in your face. Be the good spouse you want you wife/husband to be and see if you will not reap the benefits thereof

Insidous:


You are a fo.ol.

yollychika:
Sis live ur beautiful life n forget about him, na him go beg u lera

Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't.

You didn't bleed and getting in wasn't so hard. That is one ruined relationship that would have been awesome. And probably the last man standing. If you be virgin, you go know, if you not, you will know and I KNEW then that I was.

Insidous:
@tresse

I knew the id.iot was no good. He has no respect for you at all. He is doing all these because he thinks that you have no option other than to cry and beg. He think of himself as your life. He believes that hat he owns you. You need to learn how to be strong. You are only fueling his complex against you when you cry. He sees you as a weakling and an inferior being. You need to recreate yourself. Learn to be positive, make your children and your work as number 1 and 2 priorities. Face them squarely. Forget that he even existed. You are the only one that can make yourself happy and please never react to his actions or words. Learn to be react passively. Don't ever argue with him again. Be a better version of yourself.

Ugik:
you dnt need to reply dat dude..the guy is been tribalistic..onye ara ka o bu

Cyriloha:

please i Don understand ...He was trying to defuse bomb by himself or what .!

andyanders:


Well said my brother. We Christians and Muslims are brothers/sisters and should try to understand that a true Christian doesn't kill and a True Muslim doesn't kill one another.

Those killing Christians and claiming to be muslims are demons and true Muslims don't kill.

Like Boko Haram and their likes killing in the name of Islams are demons from the pit of hell.

Brytawon:


NOTE: She said she never cooked in the man's house but she sent leftover rice they had at home through their nanny to him with the consent of her hubby's friend because her husband never gave her a listening ear nor a shoulder to lean on.

It takes two to make love/marriage work but one to destory!

Insidous:


I pray you find the strength to withstand the divorce. You made mistakes but they were pardonable. You should find solace in your kids forget him and if and when you decide to move on, I pray you find a good man that would reciprocate your every show of affection.

treese:
Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping.
When my husband saw this I felt so bad so so bad and I wish I had discussed it with him. But I tot he would pay me back painfully again so I decide to keep it away from him. The third blame is me cooking for a guy on the estate. The guy is a friend I met quiet alright. But God sees my heart I cooked it out of helping. His wife is overseas and d guy claimed to be broke, then also there was fuel scarcity he said he couldn't get fuel to buy. So he wanted me to help him with food. That faithful day, my husband's friend who also lives on the estate was home, my nanny and my two kids, so I asked him to give his opinion,and he said why not that the guy is an easy going person on the estate and for him to ask for food he must be In a bad state. We had some left over rice at home and I told hy nanny to go and give him. When my hubby came back that day I Had to find a way to explain to him. I wasnt too sure of his response, but to a certain extent d man i know and the way he has bin treating me I tot he will say no big deal. But I got otherwise instantly I knew I had messed up, but how to fix it became a problem. He has called my dad on this matter. That old man is another man I fear the most after God. Tho I was scared of wat he will do to me. But I was rather glad. Cos I wanted to be free and be trusted again. The matter on ground is something that I know can ruin my home but now that he as spoken I believe and hope he learns to trust me. Now I understand d reason for the mean treatments. He doesn't like visiting marriage counselors, so smtimes we end our matters and issues arguing and no resolution. Am saying it world wide now. I am not cheating on my husband. I love him than anything else in the world. Appreciate him and would always honour him. His changes and behaviour towards me recently sort of got me changing to, but now I see where it's all coming from. God bless u nairaland at least he spoke here. But seriously, dear Nairalander's you can't give concluding opinions on a journey of 3years based on 650 words. U don't av any idea wat we both av bin Tru to just conclude that he divorces a woman u know nothing about based on the short story u heard. I am a woman who would do anything g to keep her home. I took steps that I had no clue I would regret. Now he doesn't trust me no one knows how that feels. Even when I go out for business he picks d lie from d truth and this hasn't bin making me go what I deserve. I hope and pray God fixes this for me.

StOla:


Do you know the girl's family? How many rich families have ever married into poor families in Nigeria?

Is it the son of Subomi Balogun and the daughter of Sonny Odogwu?
Is it the son of IBB and the daughter of Ndimi?
Is it the son of Olu Priddy and the daughter of Edozien?
Is it the son of hajia Bola Sagaya and the daughter of Bamanga Tukur?

So I ask, where would the son of Maduka have met a poor Yoruba girl?
For these people, even marriage is a business.

lawanson44:


I thought i was the only one who noticed that shyte! Look at her useless parents and relatives opening their smelly mouths laughing. I thought they said Igbos should leave lagos and yet their shameless olosho ladies keep throwing their useless selves on our hardworking men (Lola and Peter of P"Square comes to mind).

I am ashamed of Cosmos Maduka's Son. Sorry bro...be prepared to father bastards belonging to yoruba agberos rather than your own biological children

otiigba1:
very very scary its seems they make their own bible quotations up as they go along and how it suits them it bogles the mind

tohpahz:


Am marrying her son.. not her..
She should stick to her own husband..

I won her son.. wtf!! Like he's doing mi a favor by getting married to him?