₦airaland Forum

Thanks people

Dora Akunyili can afford to be bold because she has an untainted record at NAFDAC and possibly at the Information Ministry.She knows she has no hidden skeletons (I hope so) and cannot be blackmailed. These other ministers has solied their hands already and cannot even be seen to make a whimper,

Well, we'll keep watching.One way or the other the truth go show soon.

Vintage 404. Not a bad automobile to have as a form of relic

;d :d

I pray Ramsey recovers from this!

@ Grandjedi-I'm in with you on this Egunje theory thing.With Taiwo Egunjebi & Co, still at the helm of affairs in that NFF, I dont rule out that kinda scam.Afterall na here we dey when $340,000.00 "loss" for Glass House.Till today wey de thief?

I'm not surprised its =N=80m! Na only for 9ja.What do you expect with Taiwo "Egunjebi" & Co? Serious countries would identify their ideal Coach and go directly for him, in 9ja "they" would first travel to London, spend 5 days fooling around, come back again to 9ja, fool around more all in a bid to grab estacode and squander hard resources!

Yeah, I think he did.As painfull as what happened is, he should but the incident behind him and focus on his career

A lady is eating breakfast out on her patio one morning, when she notices a massive gorilla climbing up her palm tree. This sight scares her so she runs inside her house.
Trying to figure out what to do she grabs the yellow pages and looks it up. Sure enough right in the yellow pages is a big ad for gorilla extractors. She calls the number and the man on the other end of the line says he'll be right over.
When he shows up he explains to the lady that it is a pretty common problem and it should only take a few minutes. First he must get his equipment. So from his truck he grabs a stepladder, a shotgun, an eight foot pole, handcuffs and a dog.
The lady exclaims, "What the hell is all that stuff for?"
The gorilla extractor explains, "First I climb up on the stepladder and ram this here pole up the gorilla's a*.s*.s*. This will cause the gorilla to fall from the tree at which point that mean a*.s*.s* dog will bite the gorilla in the *b.*a*.l*.l*.s*. This temporarily paralyzes the gorilla. At which point I put the handcuffs on the gorilla and take him away."
The lady asks, "What's the shotgun for?"
The man answers, "If I fall off the ladder, you shoot the dog!"

As far as I'm concerned, Turai and her advisers handled the issue of YarAdua's health badly.Why be secretive about it? Any body could go sick any time so the "sympathy" I would have for her is gone.I only feel for the poor man who may not be in control of himself right now.

I advise that this thread be yanked off immediately because of its security implications.Seun are you there?

An Old Italian Mafia Godfather is dying. He called his
grandson to his bedside and says, "Grandson, I wanna you
lisin to me. I wanna for you to take my silver 38 special
revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you
leaving me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lisina to me, soma day you goin be runna da business,
you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home
and maybe a couple of bambino. Soma day you goina coma home
and maybe finda your wife in bed with another man. What you
gonna do then? Point to your watch and say TIMES UP?"

we cant see ur phone number sir

Would 7k clinch it?

Iam interested.However, why are u selling? How reliable is the service as I'm not familiar with glo.
I'm on zoom at the moment but need a second option.
Would you deal for 5k?

@ chaircover-Sura Shopping complex is on Simpson Street, Lagos. You can approach it from 3rd mainland bridge and it leads strsight to
Igbosere Road, where the Lagos High Court is located.

I have a client's instructions to advertise this:

* A shop at Sura Shopping Complex for out right sale. Price =N=6,500,000.00

* Two other shops within same complex for lease. One has toilet ensuite and would go for =N=550,000 P.A; While the one without toilet facility goes
for =N=500,000.00 P.A.

For more details & serious Enquiries please contact:
The Solicitor-0702 830 6935.
Thank you

A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing
the morning sevice. "You were not in church this morning?",
the pastor says.

"Well, Rev'rund", the farmer says,” I had some hay to put up.
I figured it was better to sit on a bale of hay thinking
about God than to sit in church thinking about hay."

Thanks

@Uchdazzle-Thanks.Actually lifted it from elsewhere.

@Tayo_ast-The fire men wldnt have gotten in there but for the brake failure.They quenched the fire because they all didnt want to get burnt up.The monetary prize was not the motivation.

A preacher was giving a sermon by the river bank.
And there he was, condemning every thing that has to do with alcoholism:
Preacher: If I had all the beer in the world, I’ll throw ‘em in the river!
Congregation: Amen!
Preacher: If I had all the wine, spirits and demon rum in the world, I’ll gather them all and dump into this river right now!
Congregation: Amen, Amen!!
Then the Choir Master, (a known drunkard) now interjected:
For our closing hymn, let’s all turn to page 32, and sing:” we shall all gather at the river….”

;d

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking Beer when he
hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a
little Chinese man clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You Sign! You
Sign! "Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhaust.

Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man
starts to yell louder, "You Sign! You Sign! "Nelson says to him, Look
you've obviously got the wrong man ", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. when he opens it, the
little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrust
his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You Sign! You Sign! "Mr.
Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little
Chinese man back Shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man I
don't want them! "Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a
knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little
Chinese man thrusting a clip board under his nose, shouting, "You sign!
You sign! "behind him are two very large trucks full of car parts. This
time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by
his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you
understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these
to anyway?
The Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and say
(WITH HIS Chinese accent) "You not Nissan Main Dealer? "

A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes out to fire
departments miles around. After crews have been fighting the fire for
over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief
and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of
the plant. They must be saved! I will give $100,000 to the engine
company that brings them out safely!" The crews try, but no one can get
through. Then another fire truck, filled with a volunteer fire company
of men over 65, comes roaring down the road and drives straight into the
middle of the inferno. The other men watch unbelieving as the old timers
hop off of their rig and heroically extinguish the fire, saving the
secret formulas. The company president walks over to reward the
volunteers.

"What do you guys plan to do with the money?" the president asks the
group.

The fire truck driver looks him right in the eye and answers, "The first
thing we're going to do is fix the bleep.i.n.g brakes on that truck."

A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill.

Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a
man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild
and passionate l.o.v.e. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several
times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not
going to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and
stopped just inches from them.

Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the truck.

He looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, "What's
the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn?

You could have been killed!"

Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied
and not too concerned and said, "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and
you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young
girl. The fourpassengers join in conversation, which very soon
turns to be erotic.

Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me
$1, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of
their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show
her legs.

Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10,

I'll show you my thighs," Men being what they are, they all pull out a ten
dollar bill.

The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her undies.

Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off
their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100,
I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis".

Naturally, all three fork over the money. Then the girl turns to the
window and points to a hospital in the distance and says, "There!"

Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at
the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering.

One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to
order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham
and eggs entry with a pen.

Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes, the
waitress approached him and asked, "Sir, did you notice that I scratched
something you like?"

Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied, "Well, then go
wash your hands and bring me some ham and eggs."

Nope, an Ice cream truck can be heard from your bed room abi?

Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts. "Quick, get up! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of window, then realizes, SH*T, I'm the husband!