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Politics / Re: Picture Of David Oyedepo Watching Live Result On Tv by ERF: 10:26pm On Mar 30, 2015
davodyguy:
Fool. That's Fashola. Stop being a slave. He's not your grandpa. your grandpa is in your village grin

You're blessed son...

1 Like

Politics / Re: Picture Of David Oyedepo Watching Live Result On Tv by ERF: 10:06pm On Mar 30, 2015
My Papa. . . My Grandpapa...
Politics / Re: 5 States Where The General Elections Might Be Tough / Bloody by ERF: 7:32pm On Mar 19, 2015
Sincerely, I don't see the reason why we should be declaring violence in advance... And some are even including their own states joyfully. . . Do we really love violence this much?

1 Like

Health / Re: 10 Things You Should Never Do When You’re Angry by ERF: 8:59am On Sep 22, 2014
The best thing to do when you are angry is to Smile.. its very difficult but try and smile and give the person a reason for his or her actions.. try and defend the person, then you will see that he or she is smehoww right..
Family / Re: What Do You Do If Your Wife Steals? by ERF: 9:15pm On Sep 21, 2014
Welrez: One knotty side to this issue is that the wife has refused to agree to the glaring fact that she is a thief, and any attempt to make her feel or look so has been rebuffed. This is one aspect that complicates the whole matter. This is partly due to the fact that she is yet to be caught red-handed pilfering either money or valuables. The case about the phone is the closest she has had. I've accepted your advice and I deeply appreciate it.

Thats the problem.. so in this case, she dont agree to steal.

That means you've got to start praying before it gets outta hand.. maybe gets you into trouble.

One other thing is you getting to knw her friends, they might be of help too for you to know where to start tackling the problem from.. its really a problem.

@alll

We shouldnt talk about their courtship or dating times, that's past and cant be changed. But something can be dne to the present..
Family / Re: What Do You Do If Your Wife Steals? by ERF: 3:39pm On Sep 21, 2014
A One-Hour compulsory Heart to Heart talk would do the miracle. He should ask her to highlight her problem, if she's okay with stealing or she find it difficult to withhold herself from picking anything unfamiliar (her own).

If she finds it okay, try to tell her the effects as well as the dangers in it.. all in an attempt to discourage her because if she likes it then deliverance would be hard.

But if she finds it hard to stay away from what belongs to her, then start a series of prayers with her.. alongside fasting ( please do the fasting alone to avoid stories of her legitimately stealing for food) since there is nothing God cannot do.. see a Pastor or a counsellor and also her parents to know if the thing is in their lineage or its just her..

But in all DON'T STOP LOVING HER.. as Love is the solution to all problems..

1 Like

Music/Radio / Re: Satan Kingdom Is Fall - By Africason by ERF: 11:44pm On Sep 20, 2014
wow
Celebrities / Re: Why Seun Osewa Of Nairaland Is More Influential Than Linda Ikeji by ERF: 4:42pm On Sep 17, 2014
You've said the whole truth...

Life depends not on your possessions but on your impartations.. this would take you farther than your possesions can go.

2 Likes 1 Share

Business / Re: Why Linda Ikeji Makes More Money Than Nairaland by ERF: 4:26pm On Sep 17, 2014
scribble: Glad to see this topic here

Linda makes at least $40000 a month in ad revenue but does she have anybody on her payroll?

Apart from that sloth, Laura


The ad agency guy is just silly... most major advertisers come to NL...

Seuns own is just cheaper even though his traffic is the highest in Nigeria....

Seun doesn't want to do this for profit only...he wants everyone to benefit from the community (having something for everyone is the advertisers dream)

In fact Seun is like the Jesus of Nigeria internet....if he had a donate button like Wikipedia...


I would dash him at least 10k just cos I like the value he has created....

God has not finished with Seun or nl yet
Literature / Re: "Daring" -- A Not To Be Completed Story. by ERF: 11:43pm On Nov 03, 2013
Late. He wanted to injure him alone, but seeing the Mr Fat belly's wicked act towards him, he went deeper for a better way of vengeance.

He sped towards the Mr Fat belly, picking him up, he looked around to see all the Workhead's eyes fastened on him. He knew their fears, but he'd made up his mind.

"Please, don't kill me. Please I beg of you, save my life" Mr Fat belly begged for his life.

"You didn't even give my friend a chance to beg for his life, seeing him in that critical condition, you still went ahead and ordered his death. Are we that useless and powerless? You all know our background that we're men of great worths. . . Jummy's blood would avenge me if I don't k..." he released the Mr Fat belly, and send him towards a large mass of rock. Mr Fat belly screamed, and gave it up.

As Emiru threw the Mr Fat belly towards the rock, a workhead moved forward to attack him, but was held back by another workhead. They'd had enough, he was not the only man to lose a friend in the training session but acting that way made them bitter.

The result of Emiru's rudeness might end them in a great calamity, but they decided to stay lowkey. Nevertheless, they'd bound him up and beat him to the pulp if he dares to escape.


Emiru removed some sweats with his fingers, he knew the repercussion of his acts but, there was not much he'd do. His only friend and brother had been gruesomely murdered in his own very eyes, even with the pains he passed through- not a single pity was given to him. He knew the rules, he even did swear in the great shrine, but that wouldn't be compared to the death of his best friend- Never!

Running away at that situation, and at that time was the least of his thoughts, if he did, many'd be endangered and his aim would never be fulfilled. He had better plans for the workheads and the people endangered in the whole world, as were his legs could reach, he wanted change. But running away would amount to nothing as he would be easily caught, and would be kept under strict special care, so he would never escape.

They, the workheads, had been used to commit many deadly crimes, killed and they did many deadly acts. Though it was unwillingly but they'd been enslaved to the Malu Shrine runned by a great witch doctor. He told them that, whoever failed to obey the commandmens or took off would transform into a goat and'd eat grass for the rest of their lives. It was superstituous but, when two popular guys commited the named crime, they transformed into goats. Since then, everyone obeyed the rules with fear and trembling. They were forced to enslave others with themselves being slaves to the Malu Authority. How they were captured is a story for another day.

He knew he'd want redemption, and all his behaviours were feigned for trust, power, of which they awarded him. They were thousands in numbers, but his crew were the best, and they were recommended for highly skillful crimes and evil. And they were also the most totured and gruesomely purnished, even with all their relevancies. But the boys were power hungry, and would do anything to obtain power. He hated them for that, but there was a young man he loved- he was not like them, and he found a brother in midst of enemies. But the brother had just been killed... What a world, he felt like killing the dead killers of his friend again and again.

He was lost in thought and didn't noticed the Malu-Masquerades as they were fondly called, around him. Their guns were all pointed at the Workheads, with more of them pointing towards Emiru.

Emiru jolted back from his thoughts, he looked around, on seeing the Malu-Masquerades, he remembered how he was captured- who would ever believe he was once a prince? He remembered the deadly raid few years ago, and the killing of some of his loved one's.... And he boiled with rage, he shook his body rapidly and....
Literature / Re: "Daring" -- A Not To Be Completed Story. by ERF: 11:00pm On Nov 03, 2013
In the midst of the boys, there was a boy who took it upon himself to do the assignment steadily, with all his body, soul and spirit in it as if he was being paid. He had been there also for 12hours also, but he still have a huge reserve strength- not because he was the most vibrant and able bodied man, but his enthusiasm gave him the passmark. His name was Emiru, fondly called "Emmy."


"CRAAAASH" a young man fell backwards and hit his head on a large mass of rock. He had been thinking of his girlfriend, the one he left seven years ago. When the Malu-Force did their raiding, he was a victim.

The thought of his girl and his family made him lost track, and down he fell hitting his spine on the mass. Emiru sped towards him, forgetting their assignment; he was the only friend Emiru'd had in the fortress, and losing him was the least in his thoughts.

"How.. Dare.. You"

Mr Fat belly said, facing Emiru who was already attending to his friend. The "workheads" halted abnormally, and this infuriated Mr Fat belly. It had never been that way, even when someone was killed- the boys continued like no man's businesss, but a mere man's fall that needed query made them stop their assignment- he was bitter.

"He's my friend and he needs help, we've been here since midnight; we're all tired, so his fall wasn't intentional" Emiru said, trying hard to sound unemotional.

"Blast his freaking head off, s.illy workheads! Telling me how to do my job"

The guard didn't wait to hear the end of the statement before they let out four bullet into the heart of Emiru's friend, minding not his predicament. That was their job, and it was fun. They'd partied only four times that day, and they prayed to end more life. Though they feared for their savety, because, the young man they'd killed was a bestfriend to the popular daring prince, Emiru. The greatest threat to the armed forces of Malu, he had been their greatest tool, being the general Captain for three consecutive years. He was popular for his skills and humility, no one dared him because- though he was a workhead, he was their number1 man there. They had two thoughts in killing the young man, but they had no choice if not, they'd be a workhead- that was the least thing they'd never want in all their life.

"JAMMMMMMMYYY"
Emiru shouted, as life left his friend, he couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. With all his humility to the Malu-Force, his opinion wasn't given a second thought.

"NOOOOOOOH" Emiru shouted, with all his veins visibly showing. When he was angry and bitter he rose like a cat, his whole body was vibrating with rage. He wasn't going to let his thoughts die, he would do something and that should be one word- KILL.

He charged towards the two guards that released the bullet, they move backwards in fear but later remembered they'd guns. The right hand guard positioned his gun for a shot but it was too late, he heard a loud shout and he jerked back to reality but was welcomed with a heavy mass of rock. He fell to the ground as it crushed his face.

His companion jumped backwards, the rock took them unawares but, he was not going to let his companion die. He raised his gun and released some bullets randomly spreading them, without minding the direction.

Emiru flatten himself to the ground but jumped up to business, he wanted a big revenge and he'd take some risk. He watched the bullet's direction and sped zigzagly, as he neared the unfortunate guard he jumped into the air, twisted two times and used his standing foots to hit the guard's face. The guard saw it coming, his bullet were finished but he kept swinging his gun as if shooting but when the Emiru's standing toes touched his face- he felt cold, and he knew he lost some blood as he fell backwards.

Emiru wasn't satisfied, he raised him up with his shirt and dash him four punches on his head. He bent the guard down, raised his elbow and thrust it on the guard's neck.

There was silence as the guard shouted and passed out. The surrounding guards were aware of the happenings, but they refused intruding because they had personal 'beefs' with the dead guards. They were to pompous and proud, ordering them about because they'd a rank above them. It was not satisfactory to them, and some of them eyed the dead guards' position. But them being killed was the least in their wants, paralyzing them would'd been better. They still don't wanna be in the Workhead daring captain's blacklist, so it was better they left them to their fate.

"Master, the Capt..." a gun shot followed by another sound interrupted the calling guard's speech, he looked up and saw the dead guard's body untop the fat bellied sergeant. Blood gushed out of the dead guard's body, and he noted that the Mr Fat belly had released a bullet towards Emiru but, he used the dead guard as a shield. But whether Emiru threw the body towards the Mr Fat, he can't really tell.

Emiru wasn't satisfied, Mr Fat belly would have killed him if he was minutes..
Literature / Re: Six Lessons Of Life (fun) by ERF: 4:32pm On Nov 03, 2013
rhowly: Sorry to be reading this so late but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks OP

Thanks bro

2 Likes

Literature / "Daring" -- A Not To Be Completed Story. by ERF: 10:36am On Nov 03, 2013
It's time we do something new, in this world filled with wickedness it's not always about love. It's time to do that thing we all would have loved to do, but we just can't do it. People are oppressed in our prescence, bt we just have no strength to make justice abide. We just place our hands in our face to reduce the blur, feel the emotions, cry if we cn but, it ends there. Funny how we're only powerful in our thoughts, but we so weak when it comes to acting according to our thought's will.


How would we feel, when Armed Robbers break in to our loved one's house, and slaughtered him in your prescence. They were with 'assorted weapons' and in tens they came; they were heavy bodied men, and you have little to do. How would you feel?

You know the pain, the passion, the emotions and the rage that'd fill your body, soul, spirit and mind. You'd boil in rage, but all would end in your thoughts. Even when you try to make a revenge, the guns and other lovely weapons would make you FORGIVE AND FORGETgrin


The oppression of the poor, the police saga, the soldiers. . .the government and your own people; they all put hands together both knowingly and unknowingly, to make life strictly and arrantly uncomfortable.

This story has no plan, and I just feel like writing something NOW. It's very amateur and boring, but even with my utmostly amateur skills I still felt like passing a message. Please correct my errors, don't read and go, but if you do- there'z nothing bad too. The words used are lame and amateur, I even have little knowledge of what I'm writting about but, I promise to make it up to you. smiley

I may just update only this page or I'd add some more but I won't be constitent, I may abadon it or I'd shorten it. It might take two years, four or ten years. *just felt like letting you knowgrin*

It is dedicated to all the Nairalanders that kinda love me an inch, even with all my said loudivity, lol.. Don't feel like naming, but you know yourselves- Females and Males!



In this cruel world that has the logo 'OYO=ON YOUR OWN, there was a man:















"backwards!"

a large bellied man ordered the young men. They were about forty in numbers, they'd been training for twelve consecutive hours and they were tired and weary, but there was nothing they could do. Four of their colleagues had been killed in their prescence for disobedience. They fell down during practice, and it was not supposed to be so. They started 12am that morning after the four hours long break the previous day, and the boys were ordered to climb a giant Iroko tree. The four of them fell down just few inches to the pointed spot, but they were shot down dead saying- they were useless.

It was 6am that morning and the previous incident gave the boys inner strength to do their assignment without complain or weary signs. The so-called masters had exchanged themselves more than 24times in the twelve hours the boys had been there. Each spent only 30 gruesome minutes with them; each minutes were like an hour to the boys as it was effectively utilized, with each master and their own styles.


The fat bellied master had spent barely five minutes with them but they'd suffered more of it than days in the armed force. He just ended his third meal in 12 hours, the boys gave less stress as ever. He was dealing with the professionals, he learnt four were killed and he wondered about their offence, because the boys there with him were professionals.

He enjoyed the job since it gave him authority, and it make him feel like an Army General. He had once been in the army but was charged for rape- he was so into a pretty soldier woman that he wondered what a beauty as her would be doing in the Army. He lost his guard and was his emotions outsmarted him that he found himself seducing the woman; but when she refused, he had no option than to use force. . . . That ended his soldier carrier. He was already a Sergeant, but he knew the rules.

At first when he was called upon seven years ago, to work for some outlawed force- he kicked against it, condemning their practices but when the pay was called- he asked them to come back that evening, and that was it. He had no option when the pay was told to be in six zeros...

"Action... Backwards... Forward..." Mr Fat belly shouted on top of his voice, as the boys running backwards with a high sped. There were thorns in some of the paths, some large masses of rock pieces were placed in the way that if someone should fall on them- it would be an obituary.

The boys were so masterful that they sped backwards without hitting the obstacles, and this appalled Mr Fat Belly. He had a gun in his hands, and he'd want to use it but, the boys refused to make any mistake, he'd be delighted to kill someone.

There were four watch guards nearby, they were always a standby incase of any dirty move by the 'workheads,' their weapons were down-to-earth and if a bullet wuld be released, it would tore a human to pieces with no particle to pick
Nairaland / General / Re: HELP - My English Is Fading by ERF: 2:37pm On Nov 02, 2013
Then fade you pigeon English!
Literature / Re: Life Of A Uam Boy by ERF: 1:28pm On Nov 02, 2013
YUPPPPPPPY!


We have made it to the top of the list....


Where' are my dancing kits?

Etighe things ooo....


Oya give us Front Page Bonanza smiley
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:41pm On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: who ask u history? Nd wetin be d moral lesson dis story sef? Bt u sabi lie o, who tell u all dis jagbajatins?

No be the history go ease ur tension?

The moral lesson be say, ERF is a saint infact, call me Saint ERF. You dey hear?


Lie ko Jagbajatins ni? I neva lie or jagbajatize since my mama born me ooosad
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:38pm On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: u want make thunder strike ur maut shey? No help me try nonsense o abeg

No dey fear grin you be action mama, na only food side comma dey. Everyoda side straight like witch, so make u fight back, You can do this- I trust you. You oo know say I like to see you with rise eye and swollen body, plus fat leg and bend waist? grin
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:33pm On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: u knw how old i be?

You dey gree old? No be the way you dey 19th century nai u still dey?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:32pm On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: aproko no put ur mouth 4 dis matter o, abi u be part of our family ni? Abi na u be d huze gurl sef?

No be she be the house girl oo, but she know am. The girl na area scatter for their town, top babe wen no dey take nonsense from pipo. She don beat PretiEbony once sef, since then she dey respect her. So as a friend and a personal person, she no want make u get that kain experience. . .abi no be good friend she be? grin
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:28pm On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
na dat small tin dey mek u kum dey cry??
Abi i no try small?

That thing na small thing to you?


You try small sha but, you suppose dey tie red vadan for your head like Nijas, add some rope round your waist, buy sharp cutlass take pursue all of them wen dey embarax me. . .no be that one be better try? cheesy
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 12:26pm On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
All dis na 4 only 1 persn?

Na come two pipo b4?
Forum Games / Re: Write A Word That Starts With The First Letter Of The Poster Above You by ERF: 10:19am On Nov 02, 2013
Damex333: Eject
Dummy!
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:57am On Nov 02, 2013
larride: Una still dey on top this mata?

Na under the matter u want make we dey?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:57am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
y e no go concern am?
Wen u bin marry hin broda u no bin knw d matter go concern am??
U go fit fiqht dat house girl wey dey fiqht lyk tiger?

300 Gboza for you jor...

But how you take know about this house girl be4 I talk? You no sure say u dey search my secret files so?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:55am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
u no cari ur eye c all d questns wey dey here?
U wan mah ask more questions?

You dey mind am?

Why u catch the slap wen I throw give am na?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:53am On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: since 1901 abi u don 4get?

You sef don 4get, na since 1900, why u add one year join?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:53am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
hw dat wan take concern u?
No b na nrmal tin 2 disturb chicks wey dey area??
Or u wan follow am?

Normal thing ke? Me na born again ooo.

I'm married to the Word of God, Girs on black and white leave me alone..grin
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:50am On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: i ask u sef join nw abi u no fit ansa?

Habaa, me na strong Christian na, u neva hear my story?


Okay make I yarn you:

My papa na pastor, my elda broda na pastor, my 3 sisters marry prayer warriors each of them na pastors too. Two of ma cousins dey carry bible for Deeper Life general Kumuyi. My grand papa nai father Benson Idahosa, my great grand uncle junior brother nai teach T.b Joshua and Pastor Chris Bible. My best friend na tight padi to Johnson Suleiman. My great great great great great great great grand nephew first son wife niece senior brother, nai follow Ajayi Crowther come back to 9ja, but hin no gry show face b'cos of holiness nai make them no hear hin name. . .abi make I continue?


What more u want mke I yarn you? Eh?

With all these records, I go fit pursue Chickens, I mean chicks? sad
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:40am On Nov 02, 2013
Jovanna: wetin be ur own 4 our mater sef? Ur broda no knw say i no sabi cuk b4 e cari me 4 huze? Abi u want mah kill dat huzegurl u wan bring?

No be your cute face, luxirous back and ostentatous front decieve all of us?

Now we know better.

No just try am, the girl get man features ooo. Na 10.5ft tall, she grab join her beauty oo. Her face dey bring smoke, just respect ursef make una live peacefully like partners in crime.. U dey hear so?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:36am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
since wen i bcme ur persnal persin sef?

You dey deny her?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:35am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
which tin again housegirl d give her master??

B4 nko? As ur broda marry am, u no knw sey hin go sufèr?

Apart from kondu?? U be gel boy, u sure say u no get house boy so?

The girl na hotie, she wan even hot pass you sef. Wetin u feel say she use take seduce my classful brother marry am, wen she no sabi cook? sad

when I see her face, I feel say na enjoyment oo. . .but now, you go mind me?
Jokes Etc / Re: This Happens Only In 9ja: Long Complete Conversations With Only Questions #FACT# by ERF: 7:29am On Nov 02, 2013
PretiEbony:
Una dey fly?
U no knw sey i 4 lyk join dat kingdom?
I no fit kum be princess 4 dia?

No oo, no be bird ing stuff, but we dey waka for air sha..

You must get aim oo, u no know say dem dey fill form?


Princess? And u never join? No problem, come reign with mesmiley but you sure say u get good plans for us so?

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