₦airaland Forum

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Hmmm...hope you saw that thread of a girl whom her fiance dumped after ten years of dating?[/color]

Stop that!!!!! I'm right here

PunkyVeer:
Did she drink poison? I think I'd take it like a trooper. I wasn't born with a man after all. So no shaking.

No, I didn't drink poison and i'v never been better........ #teamsingle

.

mannyiyke:
Op, u love him 'cos he's a medical doctor. If he was d hussling type, u wldn't have even spent a month with him. I know ur type. He doesn't love you, but for d fact dat he's a medical doctor, u've stuck around for God-knows-years. Women!!! They'll never love who loves them all because of money, class, levels, education, etc. It's not that those things are not desirable or reasonable to desire, however, all their foci are on them to d detriment of d essence of true relationships.

You are absolutely wrong

casualobserver1:
This is another angle here o! This is possible. If the guy invested, he is still chopping returns. That must be why she can't run.

He didn't sponsor my education and I won't deny the fact that he assisted in one way or the other.

chibarbie:
10 years Now dats sth I cnt do

I said that 7years ago

Tashaamania:
Girl, no offence buh are you crazy

A dude who did something like this should be your worst enemy..

No offence taken

tabletgirl:
My dear, i will ask you one question:

Do you want to be where you are in another ten years?

If yes, stay, if no, do the needful.

P.S: We always know the answer to these things. Listen to what is inside of you. How to get rid of him? Continue what you are doing now. When this continues for 5 months he will know you mean business, get tired and stay away. If he decides to commit, it is up to you to decide if you want to marry someone who is already a cheat. Faithful men are still out there but there are few and far between. The decision my dear is yours. Another important thing, dont act undecided, he will only stay around longer. Decide if he is going or staying and ...do the needful!

When a woman's mind is made up, nothing on this earth can shake it. I hope you get there, cos though i don't know you but if you haved loved him for 10 years and he does not want to commit, you deserve more and better. I pray you get it dear.

Ladies! If you have loved someone for long enough, get the answers to your future. I waited 5 years...now the answer is the heart breaking one. I'd like to believe its God just pointing me in the right direction, so i will be quiet, calm and wait out the storm. Everyday i get less angry, stronger, more thankful for everything...

Faceless dear, Remember that rain makes things grow. When you see what the rain has been watering, it will be beautiful. Hugs darling

Thanks tabletgirl, I'm glad there's someone there who can empathise with me

Tashaamania:
You made a grave mistake OP, 10years is too much to wait for marriage or know if a guy really wants to settle down with you. Kpatakpata 3years.
Do you know what 10years is?? Nawaoo una try sha..

Anyways, like a poster said. Your story is either incomplete or fake. How come for 10years you never met any of his family members to start with? If you do, this would have been alot easier

In any case, I'll suggest no matter what, you just have to cut him off totally and dont be scared of whatever he might wanna do. Some people are devils in human clothings, he doesnt wanna marry you, he still doesnt wanna leave you alone.
If he threatens you, you either report him to his family- if you know them or involve the law authorities. Dont play baby for him and dont ever give in to his stupiid advances of you moving in and start making babies without marriage rites else you would suffer its consequences later in life..

I've met his families and friends, he has met mine. But there has neva been any formal introduction. We have attended loads of functions together.

Truckpusher:
Op permit me to say that your boyfriend must have known all the nooks and crannies of your puccy like the back of his hands ,so why waste time and resources over something you already had for free anytime for 10 yrs?

It would be an injustice on anyone's part to marry a girl that another guy has been fuccking for 10 fuccking yrs without commitment .I think at this point the op should get a sign post with an inscription that says NO VACANCY AN OLD TENANT LIVES HERE FOR 10YRS WITHOUT THE NECESSARY PAPER WORK.NEW CUSTOMERS BE WARNED.

Very funny.....Really, I actually laughed at your post

Benoxvals:
I honestly don't think something is wrong with his decision.You guys are happy and if recieving the sacrament of matrimony is the reason why you want to break up what you have build for 10years then go ahead..he even agree that he carry his babies..
My advice..talk with him and see his reasons for wanting to take that path but as for me,nothing has gone wrong yet.

I think you are the only one who have really understood the picture. We have a happy relationship, he want babies. BUT I WANT THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY. And that's why I'm leaving him.

Midehi:
op do u av a mother, if u av,why did she nt check if u are cursed....na waooo 10yrs...u are jus wastin ur time wit him, if u agree on stayin & avin children for him witout any marriage rite,u ar makin d biggest mstake cos u are nt d wife bt baby mama..
better leave him now b4 u will look old in d eyes of men & rgret later or endin up wit an old widower...
d problm here is dat u guys av bn livin 2geda dats why he dint rgard any formal sriousnes on u...if u wer nt stayin 2geda,by now una for don marry..
my advice: tell both familes wats happenin cos dey wil be worried too why u guys are like dat,tell dem u are quitin cos he's nt srious,tell dem all his threat cos he mite carry dem out...and finally,run as fast as ur leg can carry u,if nt na sorry be ur name @ d end of d whole episode of LOVE.

We don't stay togeda, infact, I'v neva stayed more than 2night straight in his house.

egbaguy:
@op......do u av a mother? I think she isnt doing a good job as a mother!!!!

I'll pretend I didn't see this

canalily:
...so serious relationships can trive years without any plans for marriage

I'm a living witness

lastburn:
someone is not been open dis relationship cos 10yrs is a lot... I don't care if he's a doctor or d magistrates. You not been honest wit us here.. the must be a reason why u don't want to leave hiz ass after 10yrs

I didn't say I don't want to leave him. The problem now is that he doesn't want to leave me.

nairabetguru:
@ 19 you had no business being in a relationship if not for oju kokoro wey dey worry u @ that tyme..... The bros @ 28 den shld be employed and had sum cash to splash........ Now I see where the problem is

#Guiltypleasurez

You are so wrong

MhisIjay:
*Draws her ears*
Op Op Op!!!
Hw many tyms I call u
Ten Years
Them use top bond gum u for d relationship shebi
He should go nd get a contract baby maker.
Move on with ur lyf, u deserve better than a man who jst wants a baby making machine

Please leave my ears oooo, I still need dem to attract another man. Thanks for the advice.

Lepetitechic:
Poster, I really can't help but wonder what you both did for 10yrs.. "bump pelvics" alone? How your partner feels about marriage is something most people learn In the first/second.. third year at most of dating that person. You just kept going along with it didn't you? You should have talked about things like this even learn how he feels about having kids so you don't get the surprise of your life later*sigh* anyhoo, since you realized you both are on two different sides of the relationship coin and you called it quits and he is threatening to go Jack the ripper on anyone else you meet who gets serious with you, my advice for you is, tell people about it, if possible file a complaint at a local police station, avoid him like a plague, just cos he's a doctor don't mean he's stable, he could just find read like smart ways to be on top of you. Take self defense class if you must, but protect yourself and pray he finds someone else. Next time love, go on dates, talk about stuff, not just bedroom bounce alone.

P.S 10 years is not Okay to be a girl(without-a- future-with-him)friend.

For the first 6years, I was busy with school. I schooled in a separate state from where we reside. It was when I finally came back from service that I started hinting him about marriage.

Oyetboy:
op at what age did you guys started?

We started when I was 19 and he was 28

soulglo:
You are not and probably not ever his main girl friend. You are the side chick and you have been available for ten years. I can't belive you are still talking about love. He is never going to marry you because there's no need to marry you. Even after he is married you will still be here talking about I love him and I just delivered triplets. I don't understand women like you who just want to gloss over his doggish ways and then complain later. Please stay there and keep supplying him with a steady supply of what you are supplying him with. I'm not worried about him snapping at all. It is you that will likely snap and do crazy things when you find out he is getting married. Respect yourself and if you want to get married, drop the zero and give a hero a chance

I guess you are not aware that there are a thousand and one people who don't believe in marriage.

elantraceey:
10 years kwa

Op give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't want to marry you , you'll leave him , if he truly loves you as you say he keep his marriage view aside and do the needful.



#SAYNOTOTIMEWASTERS

I'v already done that. I told him late last year that if by 2015 nothing happens, we'll have to call it quit. Its been 3weeks nw, I don't pick his calls, I'v refused to see him. All I need is the strenght to keep up with it.

kayciano:
OP ,
Anyway, since he is a medical doctor, u will need to REACTIVATE him...
They rarely allow issues of Life bother them...
Bet me when eventually marries U, u will enjoy him more....
He is less likely to meddle issues with u...

Exactly, like u rightly mentioned, he doesn't allow issues of life bother him. He just wants to live each day as it comes without headache. He sees marriage as a union which tranforms women into something else. Anyways, even if he propose today, my answer will be NO. Because marriage is suppose to come from within and not both parties forced into it.

ileobatojo:
Cool, does he abuse you in other ways? Verbally or emotionally?

Also is he mentally stable?

He is not abusive in any way. Infact he has been very nice to me, listens to me, he has always been there for me, gives me whatever I want. He Is 100% mentally stable. He is a medical doctor.

ileobatojo:
OP, does he beat you?

No

BaebieHot:
Please Op, will ur hrt to be stronger than ur body o. This is a critical matter.
I understand your love for him but sometimes u have to let your head do the reasoning.

Like my dad use to say 'love is not enough to get married to a man'. I hope u get the drift of that statement.

Thanks dear. I'm starting to tell myself that too

MrKontrovErsy:
are u sure his JOHN THOMAS is active?

Super active

BaebieHot:
Op, No offense but God will punish that BF of yours.
I will add 'in Jesus Name' and round it off with a perfect 'AMEN'

Op I really don't know what u are doing with a guy for 10 years o. That is sheer madness.
Let me date a guy for 3 years and he does not marry me first, I will show him my waffi madness cos seriously, I don't knw why I shld be with someone for that long and u will come and start yarning rubbish.

Leave the guy jor, he is making noise.
As a precaution sha, better start telling ur parents and everyone who cares to listen the threat he has made o.

Our heart doesn't ask who we want to fall inlove with. Love is not something we can control else I wld have left him years back. I'm ready to leave him now but my body is willing but my heart Is weak. I know I can do without him but I can't help it when he comes around begging. I really need a relocation where I will never set my eyes on him again but that is totally out of the question.

Cutehector4u:
U r definitely d lord of the rings

Lol....I don't have a ring on my middle finger, he never proposed or said anything close to that.

I read a story here where an angry guy shot a couple at their wedding reception because the bride left him for another man and this kept me wondering if my boyfriend can actually do same...........here is my story.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 10years nw (yes, 10years). It all started in 2005 when we met, fell in love. He was and is still my first and only love. I was enjoying the relationship until 2years ago(though we've had our share of misunderstanding, I wldnt want to go into that) when I started thinking of settling down. I indirectly asked him if he had any plan of marrying me and I was shocked by the response I got. He said he doesn't believe in marriage, that everything is about understanding. I can move in,start producing babies for him but he can never carryout any marriage rites.

I thought he wasn't serious until last year when I asked him thesame question, he gave me thesame answer. But this time, I told him that I don't Share thesame view with him and that we need to go our separate ways. Since then he has been warning me that he will kill any man I get married to, that he cannt stand seeing me with another man........


Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type, though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.