U were d one dat started d relationship so u should knw hw to end it.

Date him for additional 10yrs and he will marry u.

#Ebonge don swt u die

That's too long ni , abi are you trying to break the Guinness book of record for the longest date?

faceless04:


I didn't say I don't want to leave him. The problem now is that he doesn't want to leave me.

what did u just say.......he doesn't wanna leave u,for ur info, u leave who u waannna leave,n stay where u wanna stay,use ur sixth sense

faceless04:
I read a story here where an angry guy shot a couple at their wedding reception because the bride left him for another man and this kept me wondering if my boyfriend can actually do same...........here is my story.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 10years nw (yes, 10years). It all started in 2005 when we met, fell in love. He was and is still my first and only love. I was enjoying the relationship until 2years ago(though we've had our share of misunderstanding, I wldnt want to go into that) when I started thinking of settling down. I indirectly asked him if he had any plan of marrying me and I was shocked by the response I got. He said he doesn't believe in marriage, that everything is about understanding. I can move in,start producing babies for him but he can never carryout any marriage rites.

I thought he wasn't serious until last year when I asked him thesame question, he gave me thesame answer. But this time, I told him that I don't Share thesame view with him and that we need to go our separate ways. Since then he has been warning me that he will kill any man I get married to, that he cannt stand seeing me with another man........


Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type, though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.

Give me his phone number lemme talk to him, he is silly for threatening to kill ur future husband.

heya...
.sorry dear..
D mistak u girl made whil in a relatnsip,was dat u gav out dat important tin part of ur lif"SEX" too cheaply...
practically impossibu 4 a man to b datin u 4 10years without sex..he wud b d 1 ask u 1st of marriag...u av simply loose ur dignity by avin sex wit him several tims without numba...just repent of ur sins n pray 2 GOD to show u d way....
don mak mistak of packin to his aoz without marriag cos u wil b thrown out wit smal quarel 1 nit...
ALLAH wil see u tru

faceless04:



I guess you are not aware that there are a thousand and one people who don't believe in marriage.

Yes there are. Even on this forum. But he should have told you earlier in the relationship.

How do you date someone for 10 years and you don't know their beliefs? That's strange
Don't you guys have conversations and discuss your lives? Or you just meet up and have fun?
If the latter is the case then you are probably a side chick, like a poster on the first page said.

Anyway, just move on and cut him off totally. Inform his friends/families and yours too.
If he does anything funny,get a restraining order.

Op you are not telling the truth. Or this story is made up.

Number one, within two years I would have known people connected to him. In your story, u did not even mention his family and there is no way his family won't be bothering him about settling down.


I can almost bet that those six years u were in school, the guy got married and his family doesn't stay here. Sometimes we women turn a deliberate blind eye just to fulfill our desires and some men are good at covering up. What I also see wiv the guy is obsession. Some married men behave that way to the woman outside so it's not new.

Thirdly, is he a christian? Or muslim? Except his is atheist, both faiths frown at keeping concubines wiv out proper documentation and rights. Either way, the guy just wants to ruin your life and re-write your destiny. If truly he is not married and u decide to stay and have children wiv out marrying him, when u begin to have issues, u will be surprised how fast the man will fall in love wiv another woman and get married to her. The same marriage he denied you. You seem not to know men.

op pls do something before you grow old,remember you are a lady,he can have a child anytime,but yours is limited.


Or don't you want to have kids,but i do agree don't have kids for him without marriage

faceless04:



Very funny.....Really, I actually laughed at your post

God! You really laughed?! That guy just gave you the hard truth and it sounded like a clownish claptrap to you?! It's ok!...

3cycle:

Shut up already, I know your type Misogynist
Nothing a woman does ever pleases you, I bet if she had left him after 2years of dating same you will attack her and blame her for being soo materialistic and impatient.
Have you ever been in love? Do you even know what love is? Abeg stop ranting.

Misogynist when I run around making jokes with them ladies in the house?
Say something else ,I can be different thing to different folks but being a misogynist isn't one of them.
How can I be a misogynist when all my life I was raised s by girls.
See your mouth like who wey no get life insurance policy.
Why are we even fighting?Shey! You Know say I like you.

...OP...you have gotten enough advice here already...read especially Setaje's comment...right on point..take it from me cos i am a guy.
Everyone here is telling you the same thing but in a different way so its all up to you.

He is just a selfish man. How long are you prepare to wait for a fool like that? In my own view understanding he is talking about is the marriage and not just for sex. He can stand you being with another man and he is not man enough to do the right thing. And you , I don`t thing you no what love is . Some one that is unfaithful to you can never love you keep up with the love game till you get Aids from him, than the both of you will love each other better in hell.

adbokus:
So you guys have been playing bangammon for 10 years with his super active tompolo?! Ah! Lady you must continue with that fella whether you like it or not! Ok, you leave him and then hopefully you get a hapless guy who has been focus all his life hoping one day to get an unused, unsoiled, untarnished and potentially faithful lady for a wife knowing nothing about all your decade long escapade and then you feel happy?! And of course there is still the side that you love him implicitly which leaves an opening for infidelity in your marriage to another guy! Would that be fair? No?
So in short, continue with your gentle doctor or for all that is good and fair find a guy that is exactly like you!...

Lmao

You need some leverage. Make a video recording of his threats, create a new email and send it there. Make a copy available to your lawyer then dump the guy.

You are not beholden by him.

faceless04:
I read a story here where an angry guy shot a couple at their wedding reception because the bride left him for another man and this kept me wondering if my boyfriend can actually do same...........here is my story..

My dear, i will ask you one question:

Do you want to be where you are in another ten years?

If yes, stay, if no, do the needful.

P.S: We always know the answer to these things. Listen to what is inside of you. How to get rid of him? Continue what you are doing now. When this continues for 5 months he will know you mean business, get tired and stay away. If he decides to commit, it is up to you to decide if you want to marry someone who is already a cheat. Faithful men are still out there but there are few and far between. The decision my dear is yours. Another important thing, dont act undecided, he will only stay around longer. Decide if he is going or staying and ...do the needful!

When a woman's mind is made up, nothing on this earth can shake it. I hope you get there, cos though i don't know you but if you haved loved him for 10 years and he does not want to commit, you deserve more and better. I pray you get it dear.

Ladies! If you have loved someone for long enough, get the answers to your future. I waited 5 years...now the answer is the heart breaking one. I'd like to believe its God just pointing me in the right direction, so i will be quiet, calm and wait out the storm. Everyday i get less angry, stronger, more thankful for everything...

Faceless dear, Remember that rain makes things grow. When you see what the rain has been watering, it will be beautiful. Hugs darling

You made a grave mistake OP, 10years is too much to wait for marriage or know if a guy really wants to settle down with you. Kpatakpata 3years.
Do you know what 10years is?? Nawaoo una try sha..

Anyways, like a poster said. Your story is either incomplete or fake. How come for 10years you never met any of his family members to start with? If you do, this would have been alot easier

In any case, I'll suggest no matter what, you just have to cut him off totally and dont be scared of whatever he might wanna do. Some people are devils in human clothings, he doesnt wanna marry you, he still doesnt wanna leave you alone.
If he threatens you, you either report him to his family- if you know them or involve the law authorities. Dont play baby for him and dont ever give in to his stupiid advances of you moving in and start making babies without marriage rites else you would suffer its consequences later in life..

Kunu and buns @5a.m?u wont even brush ur teeth!dirty boy

flyca:
Grabs kunu and buns

Mumu tinz. He been cheating n u still dere looking and loving. Yeye love, finding love in wrong places. U been together 2 years ur eyes nor open, 4 years d eye still nor open, 6 years ur eyes still no wan open. ARE GiRLS THIS STUPIID. Na wen 10years don nak u rememba say u don dey old u come ask am if hin wan marry u. Y dat kind person go marry u?

my dear run for your life?? but wait o, how old are you cos ten years in a relationship is not moi moi

faceless04:
I read a story here where an angry guy shot a couple at their wedding reception because the bride left him for another man and this kept me wondering if my boyfriend can actually do same...........here is my story.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 10years nw (yes, 10years). It all started in 2005 when we met, fell in love. He was and is still my first and only love. I was enjoying the relationship until 2years ago(though we've had our share of misunderstanding, I wldnt want to go into that) when I started thinking of settling down. I indirectly asked him if he had any plan of marrying me and I was shocked by the response I got. He said he doesn't believe in marriage, that everything is about understanding. I can move in,start producing babies for him but he can never carryout any marriage rites.

I thought he wasn't serious until last year when I asked him thesame question, he gave me thesame answer. But this time, I told him that I don't Share thesame view with him and that we need to go our separate ways. Since then he has been warning me that he will kill any man I get married to, that he cannt stand seeing me with another man........


Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.

The earlier you run, the better, the bolded is the reason why he doesn't want to marry you.
You are so blind in love for 10yrs to see that he's selfish. He doesn't love u, when a guy love a woman, he will do everything to keep her. Forget his threat......its an empty threat. Run before its too late......living with a selfish man can be catastrophic

Tashaamania:
You made a grave mistake OP, 10years is too much to wait for marriage or know if a guy really wants to settle down with you. Kpatakpata 3years.
Do you know what 10years is?? Nawaoo una try sha..

Anyways, like a poster said. Your story is either incomplete or fake. How come for 10years you never met any of his family members to start with? If you do, this would have been alot easier

In any case, I'll suggest no matter what, you just have to cut him off totally and dont be scared of whatever he might wanna do. Some people are devils in human clothings, he doesnt wanna marry you, he still doesnt wanna leave you alone.
If he threatens you, you either report him to his family- if you know them or involve the law authorities. Dont play baby for him and dont ever give in to his stupiid advances of you moving in and start making babies without marriage rites else you would suffer its consequences later in life..

I've met his families and friends, he has met mine. But there has neva been any formal introduction. We have attended loads of functions together.

faceless04:


Our heart doesn't ask who we want to fall inlove with. Love is not something we can control else I wld have left him years back. I'm ready to leave him now but my body is willing but my heart Is weak. I know I can do without him but I can't help it when he comes around begging I really need a relocation where I will never set my eyes on him again but that is totally out of the question.

Girl, no offence buh are you crazy

A dude who did something like this should be your worst enemy..

faceless04:



I've met his families and friends, he has met mine. But there has neva been any formal introduction. We have attended loads of functions together.

I think I know you

Op, if that guy really truly loves you, he would marry you!!
Secondly dating a cheating guy is a no no even if he doesn't flaunt it in your face, but that's just for me anyway, maybe you don't mind.... You can continue the relationship at your own risk

tabletgirl:


My dear, i will ask you one question:

Do you want to be where you are in another ten years?

If yes, stay, if no, do the needful.

P.S: We always know the answer to these things. Listen to what is inside of you. How to get rid of him? Continue what you are doing now. When this continues for 5 months he will know you mean business, get tired and stay away. If he decides to commit, it is up to you to decide if you want to marry someone who is already a cheat. Faithful men are still out there but there are few and far between. The decision my dear is yours. Another important thing, dont act undecided, he will only stay around longer. Decide if he is going or staying and ...do the needful!

When a woman's mind is made up, nothing on this earth can shake it. I hope you get there, cos though i don't know you but if you haved loved him for 10 years and he does not want to commit, you deserve more and better. I pray you get it dear.

Ladies! If you have loved someone for long enough, get the answers to your future. I waited 5 years...now the answer is the heart breaking one. I'd like to believe its God just pointing me in the right direction, so i will be quiet, calm and wait out the storm. Everyday i get less angry, stronger, more thankful for everything...

Faceless dear, Remember that rain makes things grow. When you see what the rain has been watering, it will be beautiful. Hugs darling

Thanks tabletgirl, I'm glad there's someone there who can empathise with me

faceless04:



I'v already done that. I told him late last year that if by 2015 nothing happens, we'll have to call it quit. Its been 3weeks nw, I don't pick his calls, I'v refused to see him. All I need is the strenght to keep up with it.

i will urge u to pick his call and hear wat he has to say. tell hi
m ur mind in order to clear ur conscience. the devil u ve known for long is beta dan an angel u just met. u might not find another man as LOVABLE as d DOC...... Think twice and pray........ God will come to ur aid

faceless04:



I've met his families and friends, he has met mine. But there has neva been any formal introduction. We have attended loads of functions together.

Everything remains invalid as far as he hasnt done anything..
Run for your life bae, well except you dont mind been a babymama that might get kicked out later in life..
...be wise please

Dear run for ur life o, the guy get a marine wife so he can't marry u and he won't tell u the reason cos its a life secret! Even if u tie a heavy stone on his neck to be thrown into the deepest ocean he will not marry u. Just think about it, 10 years and still counting! Gosh! Just run as ur legs cn carry u and don't forget to embark on serious prayer cos as for fight, he meant what he said. He will fight with the last drop of his blood cos that's how jealous his type can be. Please pray hard o cos na abiku chember u come enter so o!

My scientific advice: If gravitation is responsible for the two of you to fall in love, then u must need a Soyuz rocket to escape the gravitational pull of your partner

BaebieHot:
Op, No offense but God will punish that BF of yours.
I will add 'in Jesus Name' and round it off with a perfect 'AMEN'

Op I really don't know what u are doing with a guy for 10 years o. That is sheer madness.
Let me date a guy for 3 years and he does not marry me first, I will show him my waffi madness cos seriously, I don't knw why I shld be with someone for that long and u will come and start yarning rubbish.

Leave the guy jor, he is making noise.
As a precaution sha, better start telling ur parents and everyone who cares to listen the threat he has made o.

WORD!!! dont just tell your parents, also make a police report and let him know you have told everyone concerned shuold anything happen to you(God forbid though) if you can, try to get another job outside the state and relocate, although if he is that desperate to hurt might still find you whereever you go, so tell your parent pls.

Didn't read but I have one advice for you,collect your pension and retire.