So u seriously think if I ad money for a Bugatti, I would come looking for it on Nairaland abi _{*****long hissssssssssssssssssssssssss*****}

Bros let me lay it straight on u: adultery has never helped any marriage! It just brings about momentary pleasure, followed by a lifetime of pain and headache. But den again, dat has never stopped anybody who wants to go into it. By all means, try it! Just don't say that no one told you there could be dire consequences.

U, my friend, r treading on ultra-thin ice. Believe me man, its only a matter of time b4 both u nd ur corper (girl) friend begin to swim in hot water. I wish ur fiancee had taken u up on ur offer to make d corper her friend. Dat way, she'll be able to kip d "enemy" close and monitor her every move. Good thing is dat she appears to trust you. Don't let her down, flee dis trap now!!!!

Abeg make una no vex. Na d "deploration" state of d grammer naim "affecting" me.

Please find below a snippet from the many blunders of our dear "Speaker who could not Speak'.

Enjoy it , ,


1) On the day the National Assembly was inaugurated, Mrs. Patricia Olubumni Etteh reminded House of Representatives members of the need to register their names, warning that any person who failed to do so would have their name "striking out". Slip of tongue? Perish the thought. The following day she repeated the phrase "striking out" several times.

2) When a motion was tabled, she asked the member who was speaking, "are you in support of favour?"

3) Any time the ayes have carried the day on the floor, she wastes no time in announcing, "the hayes has it".

4) Giving her defense before the David Idoko panel, Etteh informed the nation that she spoke to the management of the national assembly if due process was followed and each person "answered in the affirmation action".

5) When the German Ambassador in Abuja visited her, the Speaker enthusiastically announced that the first place "I visited as a young parliamentarian was a German"

6) When the Spanish Ambassador paid her a courtesy visit with a fairly large delegation, an impressed Etteh spared no effort to "welcome the strangers".

7) When officials of FERMA visited the House, Speaker Etteh urged them to urgently "make our roads habitable".

To demonstrate the urgency of fixing major roads nationwide, she did not fail to make the point of the "deploration state of our roads"

9) When a House member tabled a motion on the unenviable condition of Kaduna Airport , Etteh called attention to the
"two run-aways of our airport".

10) Concerned about the increasing wave of vices, such as occultism on University campuses, excessive drinking, smoking and womanising by our youths, she has set for herself the task of reducing, if not, eradicating these social vices, which she colourfully
calls "social devices".

11) In far-away South Africa , at a meeting of the African Parliamentary Union, Speaker Etteh stated that Nigeria has vast land where agriculture could thrive so much that it could serve as an alternative source of foreign exchange, or in her own words, " Nigeria has fast land where agriculture is alternate"

12) To Etteh, the comity of nations can sometimes be referred to as "international countries".

13) To her, the office of the Speaker had regained its aura as, not just an exalted place, but an "exotic office".

14) The House had become respected as "a hollow chamber", rather than just a hallowed chamber.




THANK GOD SHE WAS IMPEACHED. ALL DIS GRAMMER FIT MAKE DEM DEPORT ALL NIGERIANS WEY DEY JAND FOR ABUSE OF ENGLISH GRAMMER.

@ Inspired M

bros aw far? The last edition of Mitsubishi Sigma that was made was the 1996 edition. In other words, there is nothing like 1997 edition. What you have judging from the pictures is actually a modified version of the 1991 model. (steering is that of a 1994 model) i used to drive that model before I upgraded to a '94 model. That's not to take anything away from the car though. The Sigma is a great car. Don't really know why Mitsubishi stopped its production.

@ poster
The question u should ask urself is if realizing that she is actually 3 years older than you has affected your feelings for her in anyway. if it hasn't, please go on with your relationship and forgive her for hiding her age from you. 90% of women (even men these days) do that. Some will even go as far as saying it is not ladylike to reveal your age She may have started this relationship with you not quite sure of where it was going, fell in love with you along the line and got scared of losing you if she told you the truth and kept looking for the proverbial "right time" to tell you. If on the other hand you start developing negative feelings towards her because she is older than you, then you have justified her reason for hiding it from you in the first place. Look on the brighter side man, if you dated her for so long without noticing she was older, it means nature has been good to her. Let this be a secret between you both, nobody has to know. besides, age is nothing but a number. Take my advice man and be happy with your woman. i am speaking from experience

debosky:

correction, Hausa call Him Ubangiji, its the muslims that call their god Allah

Debosky, while u r not entirely wrong about Hausas calling God "Ubangiji", that is just one of their praise names for God. Primarily, God is called Allah by Hausa christians. It is just like God has several symbolic names in English language: Creator, Lord, Father, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Ancient of Days, etc etc.

Rivers State politics latest!!!

Omehia out, Amaechi in!!!

The Supreme court, this afternoon, annulled the election of Celestine Omehia as governor of Rivers State and ruled that Rotimi Amaechi be sworn-in in his place. is this a victory for democracy or what?

@ poster
I feel u on this tip. U know ur husband and how he reacts to issues so i'll break it down like this:
- If he there is any chance that he could find out what u did, then perhaps u should tell him before he does.
- If u feel he would be able to handle the truth maturedly, then u should clear ur conscience by telling him. From ur post, I get the impression he wont take it well.
-My personal advice is not to tell him. Ignorance is bliss. I gather from ur post that he is also cheating on you so its kinda like poetic justice hey?

About ur sex life, u need to ask urself what ur husband is doing wrong dat d other guy did rite. Perhaps, it is a trust issue. Ask urself whether u still luv ur husband; whether u still feel like his wife. Confront him with the fact that u know he is cheating on you and seek professional help if u have to. Goodluck 2 u and I hope u find happiness again.

Goldenoc, y do u stress d "not having sex with him" bit? Could it be that u know deep down dat it would be wrong to do that? If dat is d case, then I got news for u girl, it is also wrong to "lay on him and even kiss him" That is pseudo-sex. If u go and steal a loaf of bread because u r starving and u don't have any money, does it make u any less a thief? Ur cousin, no matter how distant, is blood, in other words, it would be incestuous to "lay on him and kiss him" even if you haven't had sex with him (yet)

Bros Bennygee, firstly, u were wrong to have posted this in this forum. Secondly, stop joining issues with women. You can never get the better of them in that area. Thirdly and on a lighter note, wetin ur eye go find for woman wey dey climb okada? Na so u go luk sotay u go jam pole! Bros put ya eye 4 road liv woman and okada mata hand. Ehm, by d way Mr Administrator, y havnt u moved dis post to a more appropriate location?

Dear God, bless all those that call or at least text me, erase the credit of all those that bother me with flashing. As for those that dont even remember to call or text, may they lose their cell phones.



If u r lookin to increase the number of people that call and txt u, just send the above text message to all ur friends. Trust me, it works always.

Just sendin u a supa doopa xtra squeezy squishalicious nuzzle snuggle huggle boogie woogie knock-u-down bowl-you-over breathtaking awesome and unforgetable bear hug on ur birthday,

why is orgasm a 6-letter word?
because it is earier to say and spell than:
OHMYGODYESNOOHSHITYESDEEPERHARDERGODNOPLEASENOYESRIGHTTHERERIGHTTHEREBABYYOUAREKILLINGMEYESOHSHITFUKINGHELLYESYESYESYESYESMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Wetin d guy do all dis pple sef?

I find it hard to say "NO" to an offer of free sex from a haaat woman.

I was enjoying bush meat pepper soup when I crunched on something metallic. Turned out to be pellets from the gun that was used to kill the poor animal. Needless to say I had to visit my dentist the next day,

Mr Skook, quite understand the way u feel but I am afraid I'm going to have to be hard on you, quit whining like an effing byatch and take life headlong!!! The days when being HIV+ sounded the death knell for anybody are long gone. Bro, conduct ur research and you'll be shocked to find out that there are still more people dying from malaria than from AIDS. People have HIV and still leave fulfilled and fun filled lives. I personally am friends with a couple who got married after they both discovered they were HIV+. They have two kids now and both kids are negative. Their story was on NEWSLINE so I'm not just cooking this up. There are numerous ways of managing the virus and also preventing mother to child transmission so get this suicidal stuff outta ur head and get a life for urself and for ur girl. Never forget that life has never been fair to anyone, u go out and u get it!!!

@ poster:

R u waitin for d guy to put a gun to ur head and walk u out b4 u take d hint? Wats wrong wit u girls anyway?!! Listen girl, i feel ur pain having put a lot into d relationship and all, but u see, dats d actual problem, u've bin d one doin all d "putting in" he's just bin a "taker" from ur story, ur relationship has bin over for a while so if i were u, I'll gather my dignity (or what's left of it) and use d door right now. get out of dat psychologically abusive relationship and move on with ur life before it becomes a physically abusive one.

y r dey breaking up? Methinks dey shld enjoy a beta relatnshp now dat dey'v bin able 2 tel demselvs some home truths while pretending to be oda ppl. I fil dat if dey wer able to impact each other online so much dat dey dcided to meet, den dey shld just stay 2geda and liv der lives in line wit d revelations made while online under a false moniker. Abi?

Caning, spanking and all those other "crude" forms of punishment are only applied by weak parents. I believe that if you mould a child's character rite from birth, you would not have need of using a whip to literarily break that child into shape. However, there are a few exceptions to the rule, for some people, the only language they understand is that of the cane .

crazykid:

If he’s a true man of God like you claim, there is no way he can come out on air and make a prophesy that the president would die. What you all should know here is that if someone lies in the name of God then that becomes blasphemy and God hates it.

What’s bad in telling Nigerians that they should pray for the president rather than lying to them in the name of God.

I mean the man was so confident in the prophesy that it made the headlines of almost all the News papers in the country. Now how would you convince an unbeliever that the God we’re serving is a living God after that experience?

Concerning this years pools, he erupted again. Now one came to him for prophecy. He just appeared form nowhere and started his blasphemy. That’s bad. I could recall his daughter saying her classmates in school were calling her all sorts of names. Telling her that her father is a fake. That’s a bad reputation.

No one asked him to consult God for them. What he should concentrate on is how to win souls for God not how to spread false prophecy claiming it was God that gave it to him.

When you say he lied, it baffles me. When God puts a burden on your heart as a prophet and you fail to deliver it, you suffer grave consequences. Examples abound in the holybook but i think that of jonah is a very good example of what could happen to a man who tries to dodge God. Don't forget that Job had a valid reason for refusing to go on God's errand, which was that he would go and deliver God's message of doom to Nineveh, the people would cry for mercy and God would forgive them and let them be. Jonah felt that would make him look like a liar and he did not want that. God insisted on his delivering the message and just like he had predicted, god forgave them and did not destroy them. there are different types of prophecies and most of them are just meant to jolt us into repentance. In delivering prophetic utterances, however, we often stand the risk of looking like false prophets because sometimes, God's anger gets soothed and the prophecy of doom is not fulfilled. While not holding brief for Bakare and his ilk, i think you guys should tread softly on issues that are beyond you, especially about God and his servants, you did not anoint them, god did. It is therefore only him that has a right to judge them. Keep your comments or thots to urself to avoid trouble.

I was wiv my wife all thru, i think d experience was a mixed bag of emotions, fear, compassion, respect, repulsion, etc. Some scary ass ish if u ask me.

@Sienna

u say "he caused it" like its a bad thing. Nah, I think u got it wrong.

Guys, 1st Bank is recruiting o! Dust ur CVs and do the needful asap.










Our ref: HCM: HCPS/yf

Date: JULY 31, 2007

From: HUMAN CAPITAL MANAGEMENT, HEAD OFFICE

To: ALL STAFF

Subject: EXECUTIVE TRAINEES RECRUITMENT

(APTITUDE TEST AUGUST 23, 2007)

Aptitude test for Executive Trainees is scheduled to hold nationwide on Thursday August 23, 2007 in eight ( centres Abuja, Kano, Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Enugu, Port Harcourt and Maiduguri.

Consequently, staff are also expected to create awareness within the branches and local environs in order to attract applications where there are no internet facilities.

Please note that application form is on our website and on the e-portal and staff are encouraged to capture applications for candidates especially in areas where there are no Cyber Cafes or where the network is bad. Only applications submitted online will be processed.

We count on your cooperation for the success of this exercise.

Thank you.




Bernadine A. OKEKE
HEAD, HUMAN CAPITAL MANAGEMENT

Mamamia pele i feel ur pain. But the fact is that the service is not offered directly by Celtel. The company that offers the service just buys bulk airtime from Celtel and uses it to market their products and services. Consequently, even if you decide to sue over this issue, Celtel is not liable because the contracts they signed with the Wireless Application Service Provider (WASP) completely indemnifies them from any liabilities. Whatever network you use, be very careful what u r requesting for or else you just might be getting jypped out of ur valuable airtime.

You are only Lonely - JD Souther and After all this time-Simon Webbe

juliesanto:

My friend just told me about Yaraua's death few mints ago. He confirmed that he is very sure about it. well i don't know how true this could be now, i guess b/for the end of today we should know the truth about this blow.

Check www.elendureports.com and www.businessdayonline.com (Todays edition) It is still subject to official confirmation though.

aishatuu:

you know its bad enough calling a leader a bastard but wishing
someone death is a little extreme and frankly a very stupid thing
to say.it just shows that U are the bastard for wishing death
on a fellow human being.if God wills he will be the next president
whether u like it or not.even if he doesnt win he still deserves
your respect for being a state governor for eight years.what have
u achieved so far?so i think u should lay off yaradua and go learn
some manners before u talk!

Well, apparently God does not wish him to be President cos I just heard that the man collapsed and died in a hospital in Germany. Obasanjo has pushed him to his death.