₦airaland Forum

MaxInDHouse:
How does the question judge you?

You said aa a soldier your duty is to save and protect lives but then someone else could order you to destroy lives.

So i want to know what happened to your first sound and sharp mind is someone else could easily change your motive?🤔

Let me enlighten you!

You said i am not one of God's people but the question is what makes a person part of God's people?

READING the Bible is one thing and STUDYING the Bible is another thing through the study of the Bible i have learned that Rahab a woman from Jericho and Ruth a moabite both became part of God's people to the extent that God saw to it that these two women became great grandmothers of Jesus who is God's Son! Matthew 5:5

So tell me are both Rahab and Ruth not part of God's people?

See, typical hypocrite tactic ignore the words you still have the free will to reject orders and face punishment.

MaxInDHouse:
Obviously you don't know why you are taking orders from a human like you because instead of answering a simple question you turned around and started asking questions when i showed interest in what you said.

You said

This shows you've got something interesting to share but then you proved to be empty when asked a simple question!😟

If as a soldier your duty is to protect and save lives then what changed along the line so that you later thought of destroying lives again?😟

That's why i'm interested in that order from a mere human like you who now redirects your sound motive turning it against your own will?

I hope you can see the sense in this so if truly you have sound and sharp mind answer the question now because i didn't tell you i am a Christian rather you are the one who claimed to be a SOLDIER and trying to educate us on your duty as a soldier.

You’re misunderstanding what I said. A soldier’s mission has never been about destroying lives — it’s about protecting them, even when that protection demands tough decisions others might not understand.

Orders may come from higher authority, but they don’t erase my will or my sense of right and wrong. They shape it through discipline, courage, and duty. The “order” you refer to isn’t about blind obedience — it’s about commitment to a cause greater than myself. My motive hasn’t changed; it’s always been about service, not destruction.

And to be honest, the path made sense for me. I was hunting polar bears with my dad before I turned ten, so handling a weapon and understanding responsibility came early. Joining the military felt natural — I wanted to protect people, and yes, there was also financial sense to it: part of a family inheritance gave me a chance to secure our future.

Twelve years of service and twelve years of sacrifice — that’s the balance I chose. It means no worries later in life, because I know what I stood for and why I did it.

MaxInDHouse:
Obviously you don't know why you are taking orders from a human like you because instead of answering a simple question you turned around and started asking questions when i showed interest in what you said.

You said

This shows you've got something interesting to share but then you proved to be empty when asked a simple question!😟

If as a soldier your duty is to protect and save lives then what changed along the line so that you later thought of destroying lives again?😟

That's why i'm interested in that order from a mere human like you who now redirects your sound motive turning it against your own will?

I hope you can see the sense in this so if truly you have sound and sharp mind answer the question now because i didn't tell you i am a Christian rather you are the one who claimed to be a SOLDIER and trying to educate us on your duty as a soldier.

You dont get to judge me and call yourself a Christian at the same time

What country are we currently in?
Nigeria, and what do all Christian Nigerians do? You all place man made cultural traditions above your religion and go directly against your religion and the whole free will thing.

alBHAGDADI:
The chorus in the mouth of people of today is "judge not". They often make the statement when someone tries to correct them or rebuke them for committing sin. Even those who do not believe in Jesus are always quick to remind Christians that Jesus said we shouldn't judge.

Jesus didn't say we shouldn't judge. He said we can judge but gave terms on which we shouldn't judge.

These same people also love to be left alone in their sin because they believe the person rebuking them for it is also a sinner or has his own sins, even though they are quite different from or not as worse as the one being rebuked. According to these people, all sins are equal and the same, so if you are to judge them, better not have any sin at all.

Look brethren, all sins are not equal. Some sins are terrible that they cry up to God. Even Jesus confirms that there are greater sins when he was speaking to Pilate.

John 19:12 KJV
therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.

If all sins are equal, how come Jesus is seen talking about a greater sin? If there's a greater sin, then there's a lesser sin.

Imagine how horrible this world has become whereby a cross-dressing person will bark at you for criticizing him and try to silence you by reminding you of your own sins which might not be the same or as huge as his. Same thing with homosexuals who love to silence their heterosexual critics by reminding them that they fornicate. Are both sins the same? No. One is worse and utterly disgusting, such that when Sodom and Gomorrah engaged in the act, the news reached God in Heaven that he had to come down and see for himself. The sin of homosexuality is so worse that when God sent two angels to Sodom and Gomorrah, the men there tried to rape them. That's why homosexuals are called Sodomites today, which is the appropriate term for them instead of the word gay which means happy.

Now, can I judge another person who commits sin? Yes you can, so long you aren't committing same sin. When Jesus spoke of judging, he gave conditions on which we are not to judge, not that he said we should never judge.

Matthew 7:1-5 King James Version (KJV)
1 [b]Judge not]/b], that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

The first two words which are in bold is where majority stop reading. It is almost like the most memorized verse which they throw at critics of their evil and wicked lifestyle. But was that all what Jesus said? No.

If you read further, you will see that Jesus only stated that we shouldn't judge if we are guilty of what we are passing judgement on. Example is when you are a social drinker but you condemn drunkenness. Look dude, you are both drinkers of alcohol. Or when you have a bad eating habit but you criticize a smoker, you both have a bad habit that you need to quit. That's why Jesus said if you have a plank in your eyes and you are worried about the sawdust in another man's eyes, then you are a hypocrite. You have a serious issue in your life that needs to be dealt with, but you would rather it be left alone whiel you exhaust your energy on a man whose own issue is minor. What makes you think the man's own problem is worse than yours? Deal with your own issue first before you consider his own.

Look at verse 5, it doesn't say after we've removed what's inside our eyes, we should leave the one in our brother's eye alone. It says that's when we can see clearly to remove what's in our brother's eye i.e that's when we can judge.

When you are not guilty of a particular type of sin, you can boldly speak against it. Simply because I smoke doesn't mean I can't speak against a man who dresses like a woman or a woman who dresses like a man, such people whom God says are an abomination to him. Remember that Jesus said if we judge, same standard or measure will be use against us. Now, since I don't cross dress, I am willing to be judged by that standard because I will come out clean. But as a cigarette smoker, I dare not criticize marijuana smokers. Look dude, it's grass we both smoke, just different species. If I dare open my mouth to pass judgement on marijuana smokers, then whatever judgement I passed will be used against me as a cigarette smoker, since we are all smokers.

The bottom line is that never allow anyone talk you down from condemning evil by reminding you of your own sins which aren't the same as the evil you are currently rebuking.
What such evil people want is a lawless land where everyone is left alone to do whatever they like. This is not Sodom and Gomorrah we are in.

Thank you.

An Atheist’s View: When Every Sin Condemns and Free Will Cancels God’s Plan
1. Jesus’ description of humanity’s fate

In the New Testament, Jesus speaks repeatedly about the final destiny of souls — and His statements are startlingly clear.
He paints a picture not of a world where most are redeemed, but where the majority are lost.

In Matthew 7:13–14 (KJV), He warns:

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Later, in Luke 13:23–24, someone asks Jesus directly if only a few will be saved. His answer offers no comfort:

Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.

Taken literally, these verses suggest that most people who have ever lived are destined for destruction, while only a small number find the path to eternal life. The idea of universal salvation does not appear anywhere in Jesus’ teachings.

2. Equal punishment for unequal sins

The Bible also insists that all sin is fatal, regardless of size or severity.

For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. — James 2:10 (KJV)
For the wages of sin is death. — Romans 6:23 (KJV)

This principle implies that one moral failure carries the same eternal penalty as a lifetime of wrongdoing. A single act of defiance, however minor, earns the same judgment as the gravest crime.

To an outsider reading this system logically, it looks less like justice and more like absolute moral determinism — where all people, regardless of individual choices or effort, end up condemned by default.

3. No gradient of guilt in Jesus’ stories

Jesus’ own parables reinforce this binary logic.
In Luke 16:19–31, the rich man and Lazarus meet radically different ends after death — one in torment, the other in comfort. There is no suggestion that the rich man’s punishment is mitigated by degrees of sin.
Likewise, in Matthew 25:31–46, the “sheep” inherit eternal life, while the “goats” enter eternal punishment. The split is total, not partial.

In every case, the outcome is absolute. People are either in or out, saved or condemned. The measure of sin never appears to influence the destination.

4. The atheist’s deduction

From an atheist perspective, the conclusion follows naturally:
If any sin, however small, brings the same penalty as countless others, then the number of sins committed is irrelevant.

Once a person has erred, they stand equally condemned with everyone else. Whether they commit one sin or a million, the result — eternal separation from God — remains identical.

This doesn’t mean atheists “endorse sin.” Rather, they see this framework as philosophically inconsistent. A system where nearly everyone is doomed and every fault is fatal feels less like moral guidance and more like a predetermined trap.

5. The paradox of divine plan versus free will

This reasoning connects directly to one of theology’s deepest contradictions: the coexistence of a divine plan and human free will.

If God has designed a detailed plan for every life — knowing every choice, every word, every sin — then free will cannot exist in any meaningful sense. Every action unfolds as written. In that case, a sinner merely performs the part assigned to them by divine authorship.

But if humans genuinely possess free will, choosing their paths independently, then God cannot have a fixed plan without violating that freedom.
You cannot simultaneously have an all-controlling blueprint and true autonomy — one cancels out the other.

Either:

God controls everything, which makes Him directly responsible for the sins He condemns and for the eternal fate of each soul,
or

He stepped back from His creation, leaving humanity free but unaided — a divine experiment set in motion and left to run.

Both possibilities have troubling consequences.
If the plan is fixed, prayer is useless because nothing can change.
If God has withdrawn to allow free will, prayer is equally futile because no one is listening.
In both scenarios, prayer loses its function, reduced to self-comfort rather than conversation with a responsive deity.

6. The Christian counterpoint: mercy through faith

Traditional theology answers these tensions by appealing to grace.
Christians believe that although every sin leads to death, forgiveness is offered through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:9
Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. — Isaiah 1:18

But even here, the skeptic notices a lingering problem: repentance and faith themselves seem to require divine influence.
If God “calls” some to believe and not others, then the system still functions on selection, not genuine choice. The paradox survives under a new name — predestination.

7. The unavoidable tension

From an atheist standpoint, reading these texts at face value yields several consistent conclusions:

All sins carry equal weight in God’s judgment.

The majority of humanity is doomed, according to Jesus’ own statements.

Free will and divine planning cannot coexist logically.

Prayer is ineffective under either model.

In that worldview, humanity becomes a cast of characters in a story already written, each punished or rewarded for fulfilling a role they never truly chose.

Yet, even with that bleak logic, an atheist may still value goodness — not as obedience to divine command, but as an act of self-respect and compassion toward others.
If heaven is unreachable and hell unavoidable, being good for goodness’ sake remains the only meaningful moral path left.

8. Summary
Concept Biblical Basis Atheist Reading
Few saved, many lost Matthew 7:13–14; Luke 13:24 Humanity largely condemned
Equal guilt for all sin James 2:10; Romans 6:23 Sin count irrelevant
Divine plan vs. free will Theological paradox Both cannot coexist logically
Prayer Supposed to influence God Ineffective under either system

From this perspective, the Bible’s moral structure appears absolute yet self-contradictory — a universe where everything is both predetermined and judged as if freely chosen.
To the atheist mind, it paints a picture not of a merciful creator, but of a cosmic author who writes tragedy into the script and then blames the characters for following it.

And so, stripped of divine reward or punishment, one might still choose to live kindly and wisely — not to please heaven or escape hell, but simply because goodness itself is worth preserving in a world where choice and fate seem forever at odds.

MaxInDHouse:
Why do you take orders from a human like you?

Human rights, why would I take orders from a god who clearly says im not one of his chosen people?
Read your bible better you are not one of his people.

Im enjoying this new approach.
First we hydrate, then we get high and then we educate.

Christistruth03:
May be in Africa yes but I think the English,Japanese and Chinese are more polished

🌍 True Humility Needs No Stage: The Himba Lesson

The claim that any one culture — Yoruba or otherwise — stands above all others in humility collapses the moment you look beyond ritual and see how other African peoples live respect in its purest form.

Take the Himba of Namibia.
They do not announce their humility in public ceremony or codify it in prescribed gestures; they live it naturally, in every act of sharing, speaking, and welcoming.
Among the Himba, a stranger who walks into a village is not first asked who they are, what title they hold, or whether they know how to perform a cultural greeting.
They are given milk, water, and a mat to rest on.
No performance required — only humanity.

As one Himba elder said in a BBC Africa documentary:
“We do not greet people by their status. We greet them because they are human.”

That single sentence captures what humility truly is.
It is not a posture or a performance; it is the refusal to rank one life above another.

🪶 Respect Without Rank

In Himba life, respect flows horizontally, not vertically.
Elders are honored not because they demand it, but because they’ve earned it — through wisdom, fairness, and care for the community.
If a younger person speaks with insight, the elder listens.
That’s not rebellion; that’s mutual dignity.

In Yoruba culture, age commands immediate deference.
It is a noble value when paired with wisdom, but it can also become a shield against accountability.
The Himba model reminds us: respect should be reciprocal, not automatic.
True humility isn’t about knowing who to bow to — it’s about knowing when to listen.

🔥 Sharing Over Showing

The Himba believe that “to eat alone is shameful.”
Even in drought, food and milk are divided so no one goes hungry — not even a stranger.
Anthropologist Sian Sullivan observed that sharing is the moral foundation of Himba society: “The act of sharing sustains not only physical life but social harmony.”

There is no class or caste to determine who deserves generosity.
The act of giving itself defines the giver’s worth.
Compare that to cultures where generosity is ceremonial — displayed at weddings, festivals, or funerals, often with the expectation of social credit.
The Himba do not share to be seen.
They share because that is what decent people do.
That is humility without witnesses.

👣 Equality in Everyday Living

The Himba are often described as “proudly humble.”
Their confidence doesn’t cancel their kindness.
Women run the homesteads, control dairy wealth, and make key family decisions.
Men respect that authority because they know leadership is about competence, not gender.

A Himba woman may refuse a proposal, speak boldly in council, or laugh freely without fear of being judged as “disrespectful.”
That freedom to speak honestly — to exist without submission — is humility balanced with self-worth.
It’s the kind of respect that does not require kneeling.

🔥 No Rituals of Subservience

In Yoruba culture, prostration (ìdobálẹ̀) is a sign of respect, and when done willingly, it’s beautiful.
But when it becomes a must, it stops being humility and becomes hierarchy disguised as virtue.
The Himba have no such performance.
They greet one another with warmth and laughter, not with compulsory choreography.

When outsiders visit, they are not expected to mimic Himba customs to be accepted.
They are simply treated with dignity because being human is enough.
That, more than any public bow, is real humility.

🔥 Spiritual Humility — Before Creation, Not Man

The Himba’s spiritual life centers on their ancestral fire — okuruwo — a living link between the people, the earth, and those who came before.
It burns in the center of every homestead, reminding them that life is shared, not owned.
They say, “We are small under the sky.”

That awareness — that humans are guests on earth, not masters of it — is humility on a cosmic scale.
You won’t find anyone prostrating before another human there; they bow only to nature, to time, to the mystery that sustains all life.

🪶 No Audience, No Ego

Perhaps the clearest difference lies in intention.
Yoruba humility is often performed, and that’s not inherently bad — ritual reinforces values.
But Himba humility is unperformed.
It doesn’t require language, law, or lineage.
It happens when a woman offers her last bowl of milk to a tired traveler, or when a child shares meat with a neighbor’s child.
There is no applause, no proverb, no sermon — just quiet decency.

A Himba proverb says:
“A proud mouth eats alone.”

In other words, pride isolates you; humility unites you.

🪞 The Truth About “The Most” Anything

To call any culture the most humble or the highest is itself a contradiction — because true humility cannot claim a throne.
The moment a people declare “we are the most,” they have already lost what they claim to possess.

The Himba prove that humility is not about ranking oneself above others, but about living without the need to.
They do not proclaim greatness — they practice goodness.
They do not codify respect — they live it.

That is the quiet nobility of the Himba:

They do not measure wealth by display, but by generosity.

They do not demand reverence — they earn it by kindness.

They do not call themselves the best — and perhaps that is why they come closest to being so.

🌾 Final Thought

True humility does not kneel to be seen, it bends naturally to serve.
If the Yoruba teach reverence through ritual, the Himba teach it through relationship.
One is symbolic; the other, spontaneous.
And in that difference lies the deeper truth:

The greatest culture is not the loudest, but the kindest.
The one that greets strangers, not with titles, but with milk.

The Himba do not call themselves humble — they simply are.

Christistruth03:
May be in Africa yes but I think the English,Japanese and Chinese are more polished

Yoruba culture deserves recognition, but the claim that it stands above every other culture collapses under its own contradictions.
Its reverence for elders (ìbá fún àgbà), artistry, and emphasis on ìwà pẹ̀lẹ́ (gentle character) are admirable, yet the same systems said to prove its moral superiority often reveal the opposite: compulsion where there should be choice, hierarchy where there should be humility.

The argument that Yoruba culture is “the highest, most polished on Earth” because it prizes age over wealth sounds noble — until you test it against reality.

True humility, by definition, must be voluntary. It is an act of the heart, not a ritual obligation. The moment humility is enforced, it stops being virtue and becomes social dominance. When a Yoruba family insists that a non-Yoruba groom must prostrate before marrying their daughter, what you see isn’t inner character — it’s cultural compulsion.

Yoruba people themselves confirm this narrative on social media (examples follow):

“When you are getting married to a Yoruba woman you must prostrate very well to ask for her hands in marriage — that’s the tradition.” — Instagram reel (Yoruba wedding page).

“In the yoruba culture, it is a must for the groom and his friends to prostrate to the bride's family as a sign of respect and request for the bride.” — Instagram reel/commentary on Yoruba wedding practice.

“Kneeling down/prostrating is a must! Except you’re not ready to marry wife sha. The Yoruba Wedding Culture is actually very beautiful and …” — Instagram reel caption.

“In Yoruba culture, one thing is certain — the groom and his entourage must prostrate before the bride’s family.” — Instagram post about wedding customs.

“The groom and his entourage prostrate at the time set by the Alaga.” — Instagram post about traditional procedure.

“Why a Groom Must Prostrate Three Times in a Yoruba Wedding” — Instagram reel explaining the ritual as required at ceremonies.

“When you are getting married to a Yoruba woman you must … prostrate very well” — another Instagram reel repeating the same ‘must’ phrasing.

“Do you know the reason why Yoruba men prostrate during wedding ceremonies?” — Facebook post explaining that prostration is expected/required as part of the ceremony.

“My cousin refused to prostrate as Yoruba culture demands … The girl’s parents refused to give away their daughter for his refusal to prostrate.” — Nairaland thread reporting a groom being refused for not prostrating.

“My father-in-law wants me to always prostrate wherever I see him. He insisted we must divorce when I refused.” — Nairaland personal post showing family insistence on prostration even after marriage.

“There can be a second wedding for a woman and the groom would still be expected to prostrate. There is no big deal in prostrating to the Yoruba.” — Nairaland comment describing expectation of prostration across ceremonies.

“Idobale: males prostrate, placing their full bodies on the ground as a sign of respect.” — Instagram / Facebook pages explain the practice as the standard greeting ritual used in weddings.

“Not every Yoruba groom has to prostrate at their wedding.” — Instagram reel pointing out variation — which itself shows the practice is socially enforced in many places even if not universal.

And now for the exemption example:

Academic study:

“Under no circumstances is the King expected to prostrate/kneel down for anybody regardless of the age, affluence and position of the person within and outside each kingdom.” — (Excerpt from “Towards a Contextualization of Worship: A Study of Yoruba Kingship and Prostration”) (pure.manchester.ac.uk
)

Modern example:

The Oba Lamidi Olayiwola Adeyemi III (then Alaafin of Oyo) declared: “I will not request that … a musician … prostrate before just any king … That would mean desecration of Yoruba culture” — thereby recognising that some categories of royalty/traditional title are exempt from prostration to lesser monarchs. (globalexcellenceonline.com
)

These examples show clearly that even within Yoruba tradition the protocols of prostration are not universal — some enjoy exemption, others are compelled; respect is stratified, not evenly applied.

The key word is “must.” The moment a culture claims that a symbolic act of respect is mandatory, not optional, it moves from inner humility to outward hierarchy. Ìwà pẹ̀lẹ́ loses its meaning when “good character” is defined by compliance rather than choice.

And that example exposes deeper flaws in the idea of Yoruba moral supremacy:

Elder respect is not unique to Yoruba society. Many world cultures — Confucian, Indigenous, and African alike — value elders. Reverence for age is universal, not exclusive proof of refinement.

Mandatory deference can silence youth. When elders’ authority is beyond question, new ideas struggle to emerge. That slows adaptation and progress.

Gender hierarchy persists. Rituals of respect coexist with patriarchy. Women are often expected to “show respect” even in situations of inequality.

Historical claims are unsupported. The idea that Mosaic law was derived from Yoruba tradition has no credible academic basis; it’s cultural pride, not proven history.

Symbolic gestures aren’t moral proof. A politician prostrating before an oba looks humble in photos, but that ritual doesn’t erase corruption, class divides, or abuse of power.

Even the idea that Yoruba people are “received with open hearts anywhere on Earth” depends on reciprocity. When outsiders marrying in are told they must conform or be rejected, that isn’t open-heartedness — it’s cultural gatekeeping.

What does Nigerian law say?

Customary and statutory marriage are both recognised in Nigeria, but the law does not prescribe ritual acts such as prostration. Customary marriage validity focuses on free consent of both parties and performance according to local custom — not a list of compulsory symbolic gestures. (See summary of customary marriage requirements: both parties must freely consent; parents’ consent and bride price negotiation are usual, and the ceremony is performed according to local custom.)

Case law and commentary emphasise consent is fundamental — Osamwonyi v Osamwonyi (1972) and other authorities require proof of free consent for customary unions to be valid; courts will look to intention, consent and community recognition.

The Marriage Act (and customary-marriage recognition) creates space for celebration according to local custom, but does not make any specific cultural gestures (like prostration) a statutory prerequisite for validity of marriage. In short: customary rituals are cultural, not legal, requirements.

True humility elsewhere proves it is not the monopoly of any one culture.

In Sikh culture, the sacred principle of Sevā — selfless service — calls on believers to perform acts of compassion and charity without expecting anything in return. Feeding the poor, cleaning community temples, and serving others are done quietly, not for status or recognition. (The Guardian, 2024
)

In Hindu philosophy, Niṣkāmakarma teaches “action performed without any expectation of the fruits or results.” This means humility expressed through selfless duty — not ritual obedience, but genuine detachment from pride or reward. (Wikipedia – Niṣkāmakarma
)

These are humility expressed not by force, hierarchy or social rank, but by free will. They prove Yoruba humility, though beautiful, is not unique — and certainly not supreme.

Yoruba culture is rich and layered; it commands respect for its language, music, wisdom, and resilience. But calling it the highest or most polished is a form of romanticism, not realism. Every culture carries light and shadow, pride and paradox.

A fairer conclusion is this:

Yoruba culture excels in many virtues — respect, community, endurance — yet like all societies, it also struggles with coercion, gender imbalance, and generational rigidity. Its greatness lies in its humanity, not in perfection.

A culture that demands humility cannot claim to have mastered it. The truly elevated society isn’t the one where everyone kneels, but the one where everyone is free to stand — and still be respected.

Tenrack:
All right then. Have a nice one, man.

I dont need friends in this country

Tenrack:
Hey man, trust you're good? See despite being a Nigerian myself, I've read and followed your posts and I believe you have said nothing but the bitter truth. I understand why my compatriots would not like you, but you have spoken nothing but the truth. I'd like to envisage myself as a freethinker And I'd rather stand for something than nothing. Btw are you still in Nigeria presently? I would also love to be friends, if you don't mind. I feel like I would get to learn a lot from you.

No thanks

Deepspirituals:
Thou Shall Not Kill,Does Judgement for Killing Applies to Military Men.

From what the Bible itself teaches, the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” refers to murder — the deliberate and unlawful taking of innocent life. The Bible actually distinguishes between murder and killing in war or self-defense.

Soldiers in Scripture weren’t condemned simply for serving; they were told to act justly and not abuse their power. So most Christian interpretations would say that judgment for killing doesn’t fall on those who fight under lawful orders, but on those who kill out of hatred or cruelty.

Personally, I don’t follow any faith, but I understand that distinction matters to many believers.

The Biblical Distinction:

Exodus 20:13 (Hebrew and English translation):
לֹא תִּרְצָח — Lo tirtzach — “You shall not murder.”
The word tirtzach comes from ratsach, meaning to murder, to slay unlawfully, or to assassinate. It does not mean all forms of killing — the Hebrew Bible uses other words (like harag or muth) for killing in war or lawful execution.

Romans 13:3–4:
“For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil... for he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.”

This shows that using force — even lethal force — can be legitimate under lawful authority.

Luke 3:14:
“And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, ‘And what shall we do?’ And he said unto them, ‘Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.’”

John the Baptist didn’t tell them to leave the military; he told them to act justly within it.

———

I’m a Norwegian who served in the British Royal Marines and fought in Afghanistan as a sniper. I’ve been an atheist my entire life, but I’ve always respected people’s faith and their search for meaning.

As a soldier, I don’t care what anyone says — the first duty of a soldier is to protect and save lives, and only take a life as a last resort or when ordered to. Even under orders, you always have the free will to reject them and face the consequences for doing so.

Every life you take leaves a mark. I retired seven years ago, when I was 33, and even now I still see the faces of every person I took down when I close my eyes — as clearly today as when they were in my scope back then.

Taking a life in combat is, in the moment, one of the easiest things to do — because you’re trained to detach emotionally to survive and do your job. But when it’s over, that detachment fades, and the reality of it starts to live inside you. That’s the hard part — learning to carry it afterward.

Those memories will stay with me for the rest of my life, and that’s a weight I’ve accepted. I carry it willingly because I know that the lives we saved, and the freedoms those people now have, were worth that sacrifice to me.

breadtoaster:
Please, those of you who are married — how do you cope?

I am married to someone I don’t think is my friend. We dated before marriage, but during that time, I had a very senior friend whom I always went to for advice, help with decisions, and assistance with things that required initiative or “manly” effort.

My husband, on the other hand, is very quiet. Living with him feels like living in a graveyard — no TV, no outings, nothing lively. It’s not that he isn’t intelligent (trust me, he is), but he’s too lazy to put his mind to work sometimes. By 9 p.m., he’s already asleep. He eats, goes to work, and that’s all. He has no drive for more. Whenever I talk about progress or goals, he says, “It’s a process; it’ll take years to come to fruition,” but he never thinks of ways to get things done efficiently or on time.

So in terms of ambition or drive for achievement, I’m suffering living with him. I feel alone. I’m scared that his lack of motivation and his slow, passive lifestyle will kill my own drive. I’m not even extremely driven myself, but I know I want to achieve greatness. That desire pushes me, but I’m afraid that living with him will make me too relaxed and unmotivated — and I don’t want that.

Before marriage, I had friends — both male and female — with whom I shared advice and ideas. I’ve always had male friends because they tend to be driven. From them, I learned about crypto, stocks, business ideas — they inspired me. But my husband doesn’t trust them or me around them. Since we got married, I can’t talk to most of these friends at home unless I’m at work. It’s affecting me mentally. I’m scared that my circle for growth and greatness is being trimmed down, and soon I might start behaving like him — with no ambition or hunger for achievement.

Women, how do you handle such relationship dynamics?
How do I keep my drive while being married to such a man?

Every Friday night, he’s already asleep. One time, I dragged him to a lounge on a Friday night, and he was dozing off there. I ended up dancing alone while other couples danced together. If there’s something important we’re supposed to do, he won’t take initiative or push for it.

For example, I suggested we start going to church regularly to build our spiritual life. One Sunday, he woke up first and went to bathe. When he finished, he didn’t wake me up, and by the time I opened my eyes, it was already late. When I asked why he didn’t tell me, he said he called me but I didn’t answer. For me, I wouldn’t act that way — especially when it’s something that helps build our faith together.

We also planned to pray as a family. We did it for two days, and then he forgot — and honestly, I’m struggling to remember too. I don’t know if our marriage is under spiritual attack or if it’s just his personality, but my mental health is suffering. I’m not happy. I don’t genuinely smile anymore.

He doesn’t know how to pamper me or show warmth. If I complain about something, he just lashes out. He didn’t date much before marriage; he was one of those “spiritual brothers.” I was spiritual too, but I thought quiet men were more romantic or deep inside. I was wrong. I feel like he’s choking the life out of me.

At home, I can’t even make calls freely — he gets unknowingly aggressive if I’m on the phone and says things like, “Don’t you have things to do?” So I can’t talk to the people I’d love to.

After our marriage, he had issues going to my family, claiming I blackmailed him because of earlier arguments. He would get upset about small things, like me dancing to Afrobeat music. He’d say I shouldn’t, then later deny he said it. Or if we go out to eat, he’ll say we should leave early or that the place will soon close, even when I just want to relax and enjoy being outside.

I feel alone, yet married. I miss home. I’m not sure what to do.

It even took us one month after the wedding to consummate our marriage. We were both virgins, but his manhood wasn’t functioning well, and we had so many arguments that our emotional connection broke down. I felt it literally fall apart. Now I feel like I’m just living with someone.

He often says, “We’re not aligned,” or that he trusts me only 60%. If I go out, he sometimes gets angry or accuses me of lying about where I went. I can’t stay indoors all day like him — I’d just die inside.

I need help. I feel like I’m losing myself. When I visit home, my mother’s voice feels loud or too much, my friends when i talk to them, it feels like they are talking too much — not because they are talking too much, but because I’ve been living in such silence that I’ve lost touch with voice, morelike in a graveyard.

I am even crying as I type this, and he is sitting somewhere on the other side asking me if my head is swelling or what is making me cry.

I’m just… tired. feeling so strongly emotionally starved tooo.

Marriage is not a certificate of completion — it’s a living, breathing relationship that requires effort, intentionality, and constant pursuit. Too many people make the mistake of thinking that once they get married, the work is done — that love automatically sustains itself. But the truth is, love fades when it is not watered. You don’t stop tending to a plant just because it once bloomed beautifully. Marriage works the same way.

Just because you married a woman does not mean you stop dating her. The dating never ends — it simply changes form. The same little things that drew her to you before marriage are the same things that will keep her emotionally connected to you after. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive surprises — it’s about consistency, intentionality, and showing her through actions that she still matters.

Taking your wife out for dinner and drinks, or simply creating small, joyful moments together, is not luxury — it’s maintenance. It’s the oil that keeps the wheel of intimacy turning. It’s the reminder that you still see her, still choose her, and still want her to feel alive beside you. You can’t claim to love someone and then emotionally starve them. Emotional neglect is as painful as physical absence — sometimes even worse.

Many men think providing food, shelter, and basic needs is enough. But a woman doesn’t just live in a house — she lives in her heart. And when her heart feels cold, ignored, or invisible, that home becomes a cage. You don’t have to be loud or flamboyant to make your wife feel loved; you just have to be present. Talk to her. Listen to her. Ask about her dreams. Laugh together. Take her out once in a while. Sit with her when she’s tired. These little things build emotional intimacy — the foundation of any lasting marriage.

And to the quiet, passive men who think they are being peaceful — silence is not peace. Stillness is not love. Your calmness should bring her rest, not loneliness. Your presence should make her feel safe, not unseen. A home can be quiet and yet filled with warmth — laughter, connection, shared plans, and mutual growth. But when that quiet becomes a wall, when it suffocates conversation, joy, and companionship, it stops being peaceful — it becomes isolating.

Marriage is teamwork. It’s two people choosing to grow together. You can’t say “it’s a process” and then do nothing. Growth requires effort. It requires curiosity, shared goals, and communication. If one person is pushing while the other is passive, the relationship becomes unbalanced — and one partner starts to drown under the weight of doing all the emotional work alone.

To every man reading this: effort doesn’t end with the wedding vows. The ring is not a finish line — it’s a reminder that you now have someone to nurture, not neglect. Take her out. Dance with her even if you can’t dance. Watch a movie together. Ask her how her day went. Show interest in her dreams. These things don’t cost much money or time, but they reward you a hundredfold in peace, joy, and connection.

When a woman feels loved, she glows. When she feels seen, she thrives. And when she thrives, the whole home flourishes. Don’t let your passivity dim the light in her eyes. Don’t let your silence kill her laughter. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a prison. It takes both people giving — not one person enduring.

Love her out loud. Date her again and again. Because in the end, effort is the real romance.

BRATISLAVA:
How is there chivalry in poverty? Though they were never chivalrous. I am yet to read a story of Nigerian men going to war. What they need is what women are bringing into relationships.

I think this person gets it wrong — chivalry has nothing to do with poverty.

Even a man with no money can still be chivalrous. Chivalry isn’t about wealth or status; it’s about simple acts of respect, care, and fairness toward women.

The difference is in perspective: many Nigerian men often associate chivalry with having money — paying bills, providing, or showing financial strength — because society has tied masculinity to material ability. But from a European point of view, that’s just part of being responsible. We naturally pay the bills, provide, and show financial stability — but that has nothing to do with chivalry. That’s simply doing your duty as a man.

Chivalry, on the other hand, is about character — kindness, courtesy, and respect. There’s a difference between being a gentle man and being a gentleman — and that difference is chivalry. You don’t need riches to have values or to treat people with decency.

Tello619:
Fenrir, who posts almost 60 replies per day on Nairaland hasn't posted more than 5 replies in A WEEK! Feeling guilty and running away from the shame of your dishonesty are you, little boy blue?...

I wouldn’t read too much into my absence — I just have a life to live outside of a forum. I drop by here when I’m genuinely bored or have a bit of quiet time to kill, then disappear again for weeks at a stretch. That’s simply been my pattern since I joined here almost a year ago.

Truth is, the world beyond the screen has far more to offer than constant back-and-forths online. I spend my time exploring it — traveling, working, and sharing beautiful experiences with my wife and daughter. From sunsets in new cities to quiet breakfasts overlooking the sea, there’s so much real beauty out there that no number of forum posts could ever replace.

Some people experience life through a screen; others get to actually live it. I prefer the latter. So while you’re here keeping tabs on post counts, I’m out there creating memories that don’t need an audience.

Glad to know you miss me though.

Tello619:
Fenrir, you literally have me blocked because you're a little boy blue! The one who's always hitting the block button and running behind his wife and her inlaws like a scared little puppy😆 I see I'm being mentioned but can't see who mentioned me or what I'm mentioned for... I log out and view your profile as a guest and alas! It's you who mentioned me😆 stop mentioning me if you can't come out of your little shell and reply me directly!
You and your so called inlaws have been repeatedly asking me to provide
PROOF PROOF PROOF
EVIDENCE EVIDENCE EVIDENCE
BLAH BLAH BLAH
Here's my evidences, m0r0ns!🤡🤡🤡
Evidences with clear usernames and dates! I backed my claims with evidences of y'all being mischievous
Going around thinking y'all can get away with your lies and wickedness! How do you even feel now that I've showed my evidence? Hmm? Evidences you kept telling me to show because you thought you had successfully erased it forever😆 hmm? How do you feel now after all the things you lied about!
These are concrete proofs that:

August 29
You started playing dirty

September 01
You tasted your own medicine and started playing the victim
You went haywire and devised a means to cause chaos all over Nairaland

September 02
You then turned around and pinned it on me, FRAMING me with all your so called "inlaws"
Covered all the evidences quickly berore I could come online and know what's happening
I was able to save a few evidences that proves my innocence but every time I post them, y'all gang up on me and report it so that no one sees it😆
Bragging that you reported me to the moderators and they were going to remove me BLAH BLAH BLAH

September 03
HAHAHAHA! you didn't know that one day, your lies would be brought to light now look, you're all running away😆

"No one will believe your lies Tello619"
Oh no these aren't lies, little boy blue... They're evidences, evidences you thought you could cover and frame me

So far it's obvious that I'm your biggest nightmare on Nairaland, right?🤡

It’s interesting how the loudest accusations usually come from the ones trying hardest to shift blame. The energy you’re spending typing paragraphs, name-calling, and trying to “prove” something only shows how deeply you’re invested in rewriting the story.

People who are genuinely innocent don’t need to go on long emotional tirades or try to convince the entire forum — they let facts and consistency speak for them. The constant finger-pointing, dramatics, and fixation on everyone else being “against” you says more about guilt than vindication.

You keep claiming to have “evidence,” yet what you really reveal is how far you’ll go to justify your own actions and paint yourself as the victim. Those who cause the most chaos are often the first to cry foul when the mess starts catching up with them.

Sometimes, silence from others isn’t fear — it’s simply disinterest in engaging with someone who thrives on conflict.

Deepspirituals:
Sometimes I come to think of it ..Does the Parents of these Lazy Hook Up / Olosho Girls Exist?

Mama ,Under your Roof ,Your daughter,Dress up with thigh and Breast Revealing cloth, Eye Lashes ,Wore Wig ,Paints Face .

Steps out at night ...Going to where ,Party ..It's Okay ..It's been Every night Party right .

Next Day ,She arrives ,Morning Mama , Morning My Daughter...Would You ask ,How was work last night or how was your Outing ?
.
Papa Nko...Where are you ?

Definitely these Olosho/Hook Up Girls Not all Stays Alone or with friends .

In regards to Yahoo-Yahoo ritualist boys .it's no news again that Some Parents are the ones that even take them to Ritualist Spiritualist to Make Soap prepared with human parts for them to Boost there Internet Scam.
.
Remember that mama that Planned with one of her son to kill and use the Senior Brother .

Parents U mean U Know your Daughter is into Hook Up/ Olosho and You As Well support it .Even Collects money she Realized from this ?

I understand that this message comes from a place of deep moral concern about what’s happening in society.
But from my perspective, I think issues like sex work or internet fraud are more complex than just being moral or immoral — they’re often about poverty, lack of opportunity, and social pressure.
I don’t personally believe in religious explanations or rituals, but I do think education, fairness, and compassion are better solutions than fear or condemnation.

At the same time, since you’re coming from a Christian point of view, remember what the Bible itself says about judging others:

Matthew 7:1–3 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged… Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

John 8:7 – “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Romans 2:1 – “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”

James 4:11–12 – “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge… But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”

But, hey im just an atheist

Fenrir:
💡 Understanding What’s Happening (Simple Truth)
1️⃣ What’s really going on

What you are experiencing — sex in the dream and waking up to find sperm (wet dream) — is not witchcraft.
It happens because of how the body and brain work when you sleep.

When a man is under stress, or has something important coming (like an interview or a promise of money), the body is tense, the mind is busy, and the night before, the brain becomes overactive.
During sleep, this can cause sexual dreams. That’s called a nocturnal emission — and it’s 100% natural.

It does not mean a “spirit wife” or “evil spirit” is sleeping with you. It’s the body’s natural release system, mixed with the mind’s stress and fear.

2️⃣ Why it happens before interviews or blessings

It’s simple:

Before a big day, the mind is restless.

Stress makes the body hot and active inside.

The same energy that causes worry also causes sexual tension.

When you sleep, that energy releases through a dream.

So it looks like “the dream spoils the blessing,” but really the same stress that caused the dream also makes you tired and anxious during the interview.
That’s why things don’t go well — not because of the dream, but because of poor rest and mental pressure.

3️⃣ What the Bible actually says

The Bible talks about dreams and sexual purity, but it never says every dream is from the devil.

👉 In Leviticus 15:16, it says when a man releases semen, he should wash and be clean till evening. That’s a rule for cleanliness, not a punishment or curse.
👉 Matthew 5:28 warns against thinking or planning lust in the heart. That means sin happens when it’s done on purpose, not when the body releases during sleep.
👉 God used dreams many times (Joseph, Daniel). So not every dream is evil — some are just the mind working.

So don’t live in fear or shame. Instead of running to “spiritualists,” turn to God in prayer and also take care of the body and mind.

4️⃣ What to do

💪 Physically and Mentally:

Sleep early. Avoid videos, chatting, or worrying late at night.

Don’t go to bed hungry or too full.

Before important days, calm yourself — breathe deeply, take a short walk, or pray quietly.

Prepare well for the interview or meeting so you feel confident.

If these dreams happen too often and you feel weak or anxious all the time, talk to a doctor or counselor — they can help you manage stress and sleep better.

But, remember first we hydrate then we educate

But hey, im just an atheist

Deepspirituals:
Sex should be done in the physical between two Lovers .Friend ....

Why would someone be having Sex with a strange Entity in the dream always a night he has a Job Interviews / Visa Interviews ,Besides anytime Someone Promised him some Money or Gifts ,He must have the Wet dreams ,When he wakes up his Boxer is always drained with Sperm ,He do Recollects how he Pleasurably engaged in the Acts before he wakes up .

He Always Feels Sooooo Weak ,So Disappointing and disgusted .

When he Gets to the Job Interviews ,Even with all his Good Qualification ,He is always turned down .

His Interviews at the Embassies are always resulting to Failures .

When someone Promised him a gift of money etc ,once this strange Entity Comes to Sleep with Him a night before ,He would be told to come next time .

Promises upon Promises from Germany ,Sweden from Well to do Friends which are never Fulfilled .

Could the Sex in the Dream always be a Coincidence ,Could the Frequent Experience always be the thought of this Man ,Some Would say it's the Conscious Mind that he has that is being transferred into His Subconscious that made him have such Dream .

Why would a Wise Man that has bedn suffering and needs Success always have a strong thought of Having Sex when he knows such thought is useless at that Particular time ..He wants Success and not one stupid Sexual Thought.

Why must this happens only a night before .

Cobwebs ,Sex in the Dream ( Wet Dreams) Are one of the Strongest Tool Witches, Wizards ,Enemies ,Evil ones use to Attack People and Block there ways of Successes ,They use it to delay there Breakthrough .

Ignorance is Deadlier than HIV ,Ebola ,Covid 19.

Fast and Pray Heavily .

Talk to a Spiritualist now


0805195....5829

💡 Understanding What’s Happening (Simple Truth)
1️⃣ What’s really going on

What you are experiencing — sex in the dream and waking up to find sperm (wet dream) — is not witchcraft.
It happens because of how the body and brain work when you sleep.

When a man is under stress, or has something important coming (like an interview or a promise of money), the body is tense, the mind is busy, and the night before, the brain becomes overactive.
During sleep, this can cause sexual dreams. That’s called a nocturnal emission — and it’s 100% natural.

It does not mean a “spirit wife” or “evil spirit” is sleeping with you. It’s the body’s natural release system, mixed with the mind’s stress and fear.

2️⃣ Why it happens before interviews or blessings

It’s simple:

Before a big day, the mind is restless.

Stress makes the body hot and active inside.

The same energy that causes worry also causes sexual tension.

When you sleep, that energy releases through a dream.

So it looks like “the dream spoils the blessing,” but really the same stress that caused the dream also makes you tired and anxious during the interview.
That’s why things don’t go well — not because of the dream, but because of poor rest and mental pressure.

3️⃣ What the Bible actually says

The Bible talks about dreams and sexual purity, but it never says every dream is from the devil.

👉 In Leviticus 15:16, it says when a man releases semen, he should wash and be clean till evening. That’s a rule for cleanliness, not a punishment or curse.
👉 Matthew 5:28 warns against thinking or planning lust in the heart. That means sin happens when it’s done on purpose, not when the body releases during sleep.
👉 God used dreams many times (Joseph, Daniel). So not every dream is evil — some are just the mind working.

So don’t live in fear or shame. Instead of running to “spiritualists,” turn to God in prayer and also take care of the body and mind.

4️⃣ What to do

💪 Physically and Mentally:

Sleep early. Avoid videos, chatting, or worrying late at night.

Don’t go to bed hungry or too full.

Before important days, calm yourself — breathe deeply, take a short walk, or pray quietly.

Prepare well for the interview or meeting so you feel confident.

If these dreams happen too often and you feel weak or anxious all the time, talk to a doctor or counselor — they can help you manage stress and sleep better.

But, remember first we hydrate then we educate

Deepspirituals:
.

Weldone ,A Non Christian,A Non Muslim,A Norwegian as you Claim that Hates Nigerian Men with Passion ,Jumping from one thread to Another to Spread his Confusions..I say Again Weldone...U are already Ignored..

How are you Christian?

Mate I know the bible better than you and I dont believe any of it

1️⃣ Christians are told to be respectful and gentle

“Always be ready to explain your hope, but do it with gentleness and respect.”
— 1 Peter 3:15

➡️ This means Christians should talk kindly and calmly, even when speaking to someone who doesn’t believe.
Calling names or mocking people goes against this rule.

2️⃣ The Bible says not to judge or insult others

“Do not judge, or you will be judged.”
— Matthew 7:1–2
“Anyone who says, ‘You fool,’ will be in danger of hell.”
— Matthew 5:22

➡️ Christians are warned not to look down on others or speak hatefully.
What was said to you breaks this teaching completely.

3️⃣ Real Christians are supposed to be known for love

“Everyone will know you are my followers if you love one another.”
— John 13:35
“Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you.”
— Luke 6:27

➡️ Christians are meant to love everyone, even people who disagree with them.
If they act rude or hateful, they’re not showing real Christian love.

4️⃣ Pride and hypocrisy are sins

“If anyone claims to live in the light but hates others, they are still in darkness.”
— 1 John 2:9
“Why notice the tiny fault in someone else but ignore your own big one?”
— Matthew 7:3

➡️ Christians who insult or hate others while claiming to follow God are being hypocritical.
Jesus said people should fix their own flaws first.

5️⃣ How Jesus treated non-believers

Even when people rejected Him or mocked Him, Jesus stayed calm and kind:

“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
— Luke 23:34

➡️ He showed mercy and forgiveness, not anger or hate — even toward those who killed Him.

Deepspirituals:
.

Weldone ,A Non Christian,A Non Muslim,A Norwegian as you Claim that Hates Nigerian Men with Passion ,Jumping from one thread to Another to Spread his Confusions..I say Again Weldone...U are already Ignored..

When have I ever used that H word apart for 2 types of people

And according to you only Christians or Muslims deserve human rights and respect? What does your bible actually say about that?


🧭 1. Judging Other People’s Beliefs
What the Bible Says

God doesn’t want people to act like judges over others.
We can tell right from wrong, but only God truly knows a person’s heart.

Key Verses

Matthew 7:1–2 – “Don’t judge others, or you will be judged the same way.”

Romans 14:4 – “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? They answer to their own master.”

James 4:12 – “There is only one Judge and Lawgiver—God.”

Simple Meaning

Don’t look down on people because of their beliefs.

Correct others kindly, not proudly.

Remember: God sees everything—we don’t.

🕊️ 2. Free Will (The Right to Choose)
What the Bible Says

God gives everyone the freedom to choose what to believe and how to live.
He wants love and obedience that come from choice, not force.

Key Verses

Deuteronomy 30:19 – “I have set before you life and death… choose life.”

Joshua 24:15 – “Choose this day whom you will serve.”

Galatians 5:13 – “You were called to be free. Use your freedom to serve others in love.”

Revelation 3:20 – Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock.” (He asks, not forces.)

Simple Meaning

God never takes away free will.

Faith should be chosen freely, not pushed by fear or control.

True love and faith can’t exist without freedom.

🕯️ 3. Lies and Manipulation in Religion or Culture
What the Bible Says

God hates lies, fake religion, and using traditions to control people.

Key Verses

Proverbs 12:22 – “The Lord hates lying lips but loves those who are truthful.”

Matthew 23:27–28 – Jesus called fake religious leaders “whitewashed tombs”—clean outside, dirty inside.

Colossians 2:8 – “Don’t let anyone trick you with human traditions instead of Christ’s truth.”

Isaiah 29:13 – “They worship Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.”

Simple Meaning

Don’t believe everything done “in God’s name.”

God wants honesty, not fake holiness.

Religious leaders or traditions that twist the truth to control people go against God.

You break your books rules and your gods rules every in this country, and we all know those that preach the loudest are hiding the biggest sins

But hey, im just an atheist.

Seriously you dont see the problem? Name 1 other culture in the entire world that names itself......

The best
Most polished
Most respectful
Most humble

On the entire planet? And will outright abuse someone over rejection of prostration towards them.

I actually just researched the man, wow some role model and you claim he's a representative of your tribe. Wow a man to be proud of and clear lacks humility and respect if he goes around randomly insulting woman on their looks on social media and tv and everywhere else and lies he tells and fake news he makes up as well as intentional starting issues with other tribes here trying to start issues between the public

Hes the definition of a windup merchant and you let him represent your people, proves your values outright since you support him and not shame him

Fenrir:
The Ship of Theseus and the Nature of Change

Philosophers have long discussed a thought experiment called the Ship of Theseus. Imagine a ship whose wooden planks are replaced one by one over time. When every single plank has been replaced, is it still the same ship? Some say yes—it continues in name and purpose. Others say no—because every material part of it is new. The Ship of Theseus forces us to question what defines continuity and identity when change is constant and inevitable.

The Human Body as a Living Example

Our bodies reflect this same principle. Human cells die and renew constantly, and even our bones—our physical foundation—are almost entirely replaced every ten years. In a biological sense, we are not the same people we were a decade ago, and yet we feel continuous with our past selves through memory, emotion, and experience. This paradox of renewal within continuity lies at the heart of what it means to be human.

Culture as a Living Ship

Cultures, too, are living ships. They are not static relics but evolving systems of values, rituals, and meanings. Over time, each generation replaces certain “planks” of its traditions—adopting new ideas, abandoning some customs, and reinterpreting old beliefs. Yoruba culture is a clear example of this transformation.

From its precolonial foundations—rooted in ancestral worship, community hierarchy, and sacred ritual—it has evolved through centuries of contact with Islam, Christianity, colonialism, and global modernity. Today, Yoruba culture embraces technology, democracy, gender equality, and human rights—concepts far removed from its early social order. The Yoruba language is still spoken, festivals are still celebrated, but the meanings attached to them have changed. What was once a way of life guided by strict cosmology is now often lived through selective traditions within modern frameworks.

This evolution is not wrong—it is natural. But it also means that what many call “tradition” today is already a reinterpretation, filtered through modern values. The ship has long since changed its planks.

Choice, Respect, and Authenticity

True respect for a culture lies not in blind adherence, but in understanding its living nature—and accepting that individuals can choose how to engage with it. Authenticity is not about uniformity; it is about sincerity. A person who honors the spirit of respect and coexistence, even while declining certain customs, may in fact embody the deeper values of humility and integrity that any culture should prize.

For someone coming from outside a culture—say, a European marrying into Yoruba society—respect should not require surrendering one’s identity or accepting the imposition of cultural practices as conditions for love or belonging. If Yoruba culture has evolved to embrace modern values of human rights, equality, and personal freedom, then those same principles must also apply within cultural interactions and relationships.

Respect, in its truest form, must be mutual. Just as the Yoruba people have adapted their traditions over time, they can also extend understanding to those who appreciate their culture but choose not to participate in every aspect of it. To force participation “in the name of tradition” while living a modern life oneself is to ignore the very transformation that has already taken place.

If the Ship of Theseus teaches us anything, it is that change does not erase identity—it redefines it. A culture that evolves yet still calls itself Yoruba must also recognize that others have the right to evolve in how they relate to it.

Blurring the Lines: The Question of Cultural Humility

To blur the lines is to step beyond simple admiration or criticism, and to look honestly at how culture defines itself versus how it behaves.

Can any culture — Yoruba or otherwise — truthfully declare itself the most humble or most respectful in an entire nation? Or is humility something that must be recognized by others through consistent action and character? Because by its nature, humility cannot be self-proclaimed. The moment a person or group declares themselves humble, they have already contradicted the very meaning of humility.

In Yoruba society, respect (ìbòwò) and humility (ìtẹríba) are often celebrated as foundational values. But when examined closely, these virtues are not applied equally. They are frequently conditional—shaped by hierarchy, age, gender, and wealth. Respect flows upward, toward those with social or economic power, while those below are expected to demonstrate it outwardly through ritualized acts such as prostration or elaborate greetings.

This structure may have made sense in older social orders, where lineage and ritual roles structured community life. In many traditional contexts, acts like prostration were tied to specific reciprocal expectations and rites of passage. Historically, prostration around marriage could be part of a larger exchange: public thanks for a bride presented as chaste or “a virgin bride,” recognition that the groom had “earned” his wife through familial negotiations, and affirmation of household hierarchies in which the wife’s submission and the groom’s authority were social norms. These rituals signaled reciprocal duties—honour for family reputation, obligations of protection and provision by the groom’s family, and structured roles within the extended family.

Today, however, much of that reciprocal framework has eroded. Prostration is often demanded as an automatic sign of submission rather than granted as an earned honor embedded in mutual responsibilities. It frequently functions now as a way to publicly elevate a father’s or family’s status in their immediate community, detached from the marriage-showing, mutual-exchange context that once accompanied it. Where prostration is enforced without the accompanying duties, respect becomes performative, and ritual deference can reinforce patriarchal or hierarchical power rather than mutual dignity.

Social media amplifies these contradictions. One can see Yoruba individuals proudly claiming to belong to the “most respectful culture,” yet in practice, respect is often performed more than it is lived. A man may be called humble not for how he treats others, but for how others prostrate before him. That transforms humility into a hollow performance — a symbol of status, not of grace.

True humility, however, is silent. It does not announce itself or demand rituals to confirm its existence. It is measured in fairness, in the quiet strength of restraint, in how a person treats those who cannot repay or elevate them.

So when a culture loudly calls itself humble, the question arises: is that humility, or pride in the appearance of humility? If respect is conditional on hierarchy, then what is being respected — the person, or the position?

Perhaps the most respectful act a culture can perform is self-examination — to look inward and ask whether its most celebrated virtues are lived truths or comfortable myths.

The Modern Paradox of Prostration

In modern times, some Yoruba communities have come to treat prostration as an unquestionable obligation rather than a reciprocal custom. The older social contract that once gave the act its balance—where families offered tangible commitments and social guarantees in return—has largely faded. Many of the reciprocal meanings once attached to the gesture have been quietly set aside, not by outsiders but through gradual internal change.

Now, the act is often expected automatically from grooms, as if it were a permanent right inherited from the past, even though the social obligations that once accompanied it are no longer observed. This raises an uncomfortable question: if a ritual continues only as a one-sided demand, detached from the duties and contexts that once justified it, can it still be called tradition in the truest sense?

And if humility and respect can no longer be chosen freely, what remains humble—or respectful—about them?

Definitions

Humility — noun: the quality of having a modest view of one’s own importance; freedom from pride or arrogance.

Respect — noun: a feeling or showing of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements; also, due regard for the rights, feelings, and traditions of others.

Mandatory — adjective: required by law, rule, or authority; not optional.

Prostration — noun: the act of lying stretched out on the ground face down, especially as a gesture of worship, reverence, or devotion toward a deity or sacred power; in broader usage, a posture or act signifying deep submission or subservience.

Fenrir:
As a European who has spent decades studying Yoruba society, I find it admirable that so many Yoruba people speak with pride about their culture of respect. But admiration should never replace honesty. The truth — and it is a truth any Yoruba person would recognise — is that this so-called universal respect is not universal at all. It is highly selective, conditional, and deeply hierarchical.

Respect in Yoruba society is determined by age, gender, and status — not by personal virtue or mutual regard. It is not an automatic exchange of dignity between individuals; it is a regulated expectation built into the cultural order. The idea that every elder automatically deserves respect simply because of age, regardless of conduct, is proof of that imbalance.

Let us speak plainly. A Yoruba man can be an abusive husband, an absent father, or a corrupt leader, yet he will still be addressed as Baba with reverence. His position as an elder shields him from open criticism, not because he is moral, but because culture demands silence from those younger than him. A young person who dares to question such a man is quickly branded ọmọ tí kò ní ìtẹríba — a child without respect.

The same is true of gender. Yoruba women are required to kneel when greeting men or elders, even when those men are younger or undeserving of reverence. During traditional weddings, brides are expected to kneel — it is not an act of affection or personal humility, but a non-negotiable cultural script. A woman who refuses to do so is labelled arrogant or untrained, even if she kneels to no one in her daily life.

Meanwhile, the same society rarely demands symbolic submission from men in return. A husband can demand dobale (prostration) from his younger relatives, but a wife is expected to show deference to her husband’s family without expecting equal courtesy to her own. Where is the “mutual respect” in that arrangement?

Even wealth and power quietly bend the supposed moral hierarchy. A wealthy younger man may receive exaggerated flattery from elders who seek his favour. Traditional respect then becomes negotiable — traded like currency when money or influence enters the room. So when people say “Yoruba culture values age over wealth,” the reality is that it values whichever brings advantage in the moment.

This is not unique to the Yoruba — every society has its contradictions. But to claim that Yoruba respect is a pure moral system, free of hypocrisy, is simply untrue. It is a social mechanism that enforces obedience and maintains order, not necessarily a sign of mutual love or humility.

If Yoruba culture truly honoured ìwà pẹ̀lẹ́ — good character — above all else, then respect would be earned through conduct, not demanded through custom. But Yoruba respect often rewards position over principle. It silences the young, burdens women, and shields wrongdoing under the guise of cultural preservation.

None of this means Yoruba culture is without merit. On the contrary, its language, wisdom, and sense of community remain extraordinary. But to grow — to truly be the “most polished culture on Earth,” as some claim — it must be honest about the fact that much of what it calls “respect” is obedience dressed as virtue.

In the end, respect that cannot be refused is not respect at all — it is submission. And until that distinction is acknowledged, Yoruba culture will continue to preach moral balance while practising hierarchy.

The Ship of Theseus and the Nature of Change

Philosophers have long discussed a thought experiment called the Ship of Theseus. Imagine a ship whose wooden planks are replaced one by one over time. When every single plank has been replaced, is it still the same ship? Some say yes—it continues in name and purpose. Others say no—because every material part of it is new. The Ship of Theseus forces us to question what defines continuity and identity when change is constant and inevitable.

The Human Body as a Living Example

Our bodies reflect this same principle. Human cells die and renew constantly, and even our bones—our physical foundation—are almost entirely replaced every ten years. In a biological sense, we are not the same people we were a decade ago, and yet we feel continuous with our past selves through memory, emotion, and experience. This paradox of renewal within continuity lies at the heart of what it means to be human.

Culture as a Living Ship

Cultures, too, are living ships. They are not static relics but evolving systems of values, rituals, and meanings. Over time, each generation replaces certain “planks” of its traditions—adopting new ideas, abandoning some customs, and reinterpreting old beliefs. Yoruba culture is a clear example of this transformation.

From its precolonial foundations—rooted in ancestral worship, community hierarchy, and sacred ritual—it has evolved through centuries of contact with Islam, Christianity, colonialism, and global modernity. Today, Yoruba culture embraces technology, democracy, gender equality, and human rights—concepts far removed from its early social order. The Yoruba language is still spoken, festivals are still celebrated, but the meanings attached to them have changed. What was once a way of life guided by strict cosmology is now often lived through selective traditions within modern frameworks.

This evolution is not wrong—it is natural. But it also means that what many call “tradition” today is already a reinterpretation, filtered through modern values. The ship has long since changed its planks.

Choice, Respect, and Authenticity

True respect for a culture lies not in blind adherence, but in understanding its living nature—and accepting that individuals can choose how to engage with it. Authenticity is not about uniformity; it is about sincerity. A person who honors the spirit of respect and coexistence, even while declining certain customs, may in fact embody the deeper values of humility and integrity that any culture should prize.

For someone coming from outside a culture—say, a European marrying into Yoruba society—respect should not require surrendering one’s identity or accepting the imposition of cultural practices as conditions for love or belonging. If Yoruba culture has evolved to embrace modern values of human rights, equality, and personal freedom, then those same principles must also apply within cultural interactions and relationships.

Respect, in its truest form, must be mutual. Just as the Yoruba people have adapted their traditions over time, they can also extend understanding to those who appreciate their culture but choose not to participate in every aspect of it. To force participation “in the name of tradition” while living a modern life oneself is to ignore the very transformation that has already taken place.

If the Ship of Theseus teaches us anything, it is that change does not erase identity—it redefines it. A culture that evolves yet still calls itself Yoruba must also recognize that others have the right to evolve in how they relate to it.

Fenrir:
As a European who has spent decades studying Yoruba society, I find it admirable that so many Yoruba people speak with pride about their culture of respect. But admiration should never replace honesty. The truth — and it is a truth any Yoruba person would recognise — is that this so-called universal respect is not universal at all. It is highly selective, conditional, and deeply hierarchical.

Respect in Yoruba society is determined by age, gender, and status — not by personal virtue or mutual regard. It is not an automatic exchange of dignity between individuals; it is a regulated expectation built into the cultural order. The idea that every elder automatically deserves respect simply because of age, regardless of conduct, is proof of that imbalance.

Let us speak plainly. A Yoruba man can be an abusive husband, an absent father, or a corrupt leader, yet he will still be addressed as Baba with reverence. His position as an elder shields him from open criticism, not because he is moral, but because culture demands silence from those younger than him. A young person who dares to question such a man is quickly branded ọmọ tí kò ní ìtẹríba — a child without respect.

The same is true of gender. Yoruba women are required to kneel when greeting men or elders, even when those men are younger or undeserving of reverence. During traditional weddings, brides are expected to kneel — it is not an act of affection or personal humility, but a non-negotiable cultural script. A woman who refuses to do so is labelled arrogant or untrained, even if she kneels to no one in her daily life.

Meanwhile, the same society rarely demands symbolic submission from men in return. A husband can demand dobale (prostration) from his younger relatives, but a wife is expected to show deference to her husband’s family without expecting equal courtesy to her own. Where is the “mutual respect” in that arrangement?

Even wealth and power quietly bend the supposed moral hierarchy. A wealthy younger man may receive exaggerated flattery from elders who seek his favour. Traditional respect then becomes negotiable — traded like currency when money or influence enters the room. So when people say “Yoruba culture values age over wealth,” the reality is that it values whichever brings advantage in the moment.

This is not unique to the Yoruba — every society has its contradictions. But to claim that Yoruba respect is a pure moral system, free of hypocrisy, is simply untrue. It is a social mechanism that enforces obedience and maintains order, not necessarily a sign of mutual love or humility.

If Yoruba culture truly honoured ìwà pẹ̀lẹ́ — good character — above all else, then respect would be earned through conduct, not demanded through custom. But Yoruba respect often rewards position over principle. It silences the young, burdens women, and shields wrongdoing under the guise of cultural preservation.

None of this means Yoruba culture is without merit. On the contrary, its language, wisdom, and sense of community remain extraordinary. But to grow — to truly be the “most polished culture on Earth,” as some claim — it must be honest about the fact that much of what it calls “respect” is obedience dressed as virtue.

In the end, respect that cannot be refused is not respect at all — it is submission. And until that distinction is acknowledged, Yoruba culture will continue to preach moral balance while practising hierarchy.

Notice my change in approach people 😂 i have to get high to get past the anger of people demanding automatic respect for the past that they dont practice or acknowledge themselves

And you can clearly see when im high because im calm and there are no mistakes in my tying simply because my brain is slowed down

Caffeine + cannabis = serenity in me

As a European who has spent decades studying Yoruba society, I find it admirable that so many Yoruba people speak with pride about their culture of respect. But admiration should never replace honesty. The truth — and it is a truth any Yoruba person would recognise — is that this so-called universal respect is not universal at all. It is highly selective, conditional, and deeply hierarchical.

Respect in Yoruba society is determined by age, gender, and status — not by personal virtue or mutual regard. It is not an automatic exchange of dignity between individuals; it is a regulated expectation built into the cultural order. The idea that every elder automatically deserves respect simply because of age, regardless of conduct, is proof of that imbalance.

Let us speak plainly. A Yoruba man can be an abusive husband, an absent father, or a corrupt leader, yet he will still be addressed as Baba with reverence. His position as an elder shields him from open criticism, not because he is moral, but because culture demands silence from those younger than him. A young person who dares to question such a man is quickly branded ọmọ tí kò ní ìtẹríba — a child without respect.

The same is true of gender. Yoruba women are required to kneel when greeting men or elders, even when those men are younger or undeserving of reverence. During traditional weddings, brides are expected to kneel — it is not an act of affection or personal humility, but a non-negotiable cultural script. A woman who refuses to do so is labelled arrogant or untrained, even if she kneels to no one in her daily life.

Meanwhile, the same society rarely demands symbolic submission from men in return. A husband can demand dobale (prostration) from his younger relatives, but a wife is expected to show deference to her husband’s family without expecting equal courtesy to her own. Where is the “mutual respect” in that arrangement?

Even wealth and power quietly bend the supposed moral hierarchy. A wealthy younger man may receive exaggerated flattery from elders who seek his favour. Traditional respect then becomes negotiable — traded like currency when money or influence enters the room. So when people say “Yoruba culture values age over wealth,” the reality is that it values whichever brings advantage in the moment.

This is not unique to the Yoruba — every society has its contradictions. But to claim that Yoruba respect is a pure moral system, free of hypocrisy, is simply untrue. It is a social mechanism that enforces obedience and maintains order, not necessarily a sign of mutual love or humility.

If Yoruba culture truly honoured ìwà pẹ̀lẹ́ — good character — above all else, then respect would be earned through conduct, not demanded through custom. But Yoruba respect often rewards position over principle. It silences the young, burdens women, and shields wrongdoing under the guise of cultural preservation.

None of this means Yoruba culture is without merit. On the contrary, its language, wisdom, and sense of community remain extraordinary. But to grow — to truly be the “most polished culture on Earth,” as some claim — it must be honest about the fact that much of what it calls “respect” is obedience dressed as virtue.

In the end, respect that cannot be refused is not respect at all — it is submission. And until that distinction is acknowledged, Yoruba culture will continue to preach moral balance while practising hierarchy.

As a European observer who has spent years studying Nigeria’s cultural landscape — its history, its scars, and its extraordinary resilience — I find the outrage over so-called “appropriation” deeply misplaced. The truth is that, after everything Nigeria has endured, it is no longer possible to draw neat lines between tribes, identities, or bloodlines.

The civil war of the late 1960s left wounds that reshaped not just the country’s map but its people. The violence, displacement, and, yes, the countless assaults that occurred during that era blurred the very boundaries of ethnicity. When you consider the generations that followed — decades of intermarriage, shared cities, blended languages, and the children born from those unions — it becomes almost impossible to define who is purely Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, or anything else.

Nigeria today is, in every practical sense, one vast interwoven tribe — a single people fractured not by blood, but by pride and politics. The more time passes, the more these distinctions become symbolic rather than real. The language of division — of “us” and “them” — only weakens the shared cultural inheritance that every Nigerian already carries within.

From a European standpoint, it’s striking to see such debates still spark hostility in a country where music, film, and fashion have already fused Yoruba rhythms, Igbo expressions, and Hausa cadence into one unmistakable Nigerian sound. The world no longer sees Yoruba or Igbo separately — it sees Nigeria: a cultural superpower.

Surely that is something worth protecting and celebrating. The idea that one group could “appropriate” another’s culture within the same nation is almost absurd when every street, marriage, and marketplace tells a story of shared identity.

The future of Nigeria lies not in drawing harder borders around tribal pride but in recognising that those borders no longer truly exist. The children of intertribal unions are living proof that unity isn’t just an ideal — it’s already reality. It simply needs to be embraced rather than denied.

Instead of policing difference, perhaps the time has come to honour the sameness — to see the beauty in being one vast, complex, and creative people who can love, marry, and build freely across the artificial boundaries history once drew. That, from where I stand, would be the most authentic expression of Nigerian identity.

As a Norwegian scholar who has spent decades studying Yoruba civilisation — from its spiritual systems and social structures to its moral and political philosophy — I view the new John Randle Centre as both inspiring and revealing. It celebrates Yoruba identity with the vibrancy it deserves, yet it also exposes a deeper truth: what we call “tradition” today is not preservation but reinterpretation.

From a European perspective, I find it fascinating — and occasionally troubling — how modern Nigerians speak of being “unapologetically traditional” while having long abandoned many of the actual traditions that defined their ancestors’ world. Across centuries, practices once regarded as sacred or essential — from the authority of the Ifá priesthood and the Ogboni council, to ritual sacrifices, ancestral oaths, gendered rites, arranged marriages, and taboos — have been reshaped or dismissed as “inhumane” or “outdated.”

Progress demands such changes, of course. Yet honesty demands acknowledgment: what is now presented as “Yoruba tradition” is a carefully curated, modern expression of a once vastly different moral order. The irony lies in claiming to revive ancient culture while filtering it through twenty-first-century values — human rights, egalitarianism, and global morality — concepts entirely alien to the world of the ancestors.

Even the recent outrage over mob justice — the tragic culture of public lynching that still scars parts of Yoruba society — reflects this tension. I have seen recordings of these scenes, where a crowd’s excitement turns violence into spectacle. It is horrifying, yet not entirely new. In precolonial times, Yoruba warriors sometimes selected an innocent person to be beaten or sacrificed publicly as a ritual for victory in battle — human life offered to appease fate. History, seen through a modern lens, is grimly consistent in this regard: across all civilisations, not just Yoruba, human life once carried little moral weight outside one’s kin group. Europe, too, had its burnings and its public hangings.

So when we condemn such acts today — rightly — we must also recognise that the moral evolution we praise is a modern development, not an ancient one. The Yoruba of today who call for justice, due process, and human dignity are not continuing the past; they are transcending it. That distinction matters.

The Yoruba world of the ancestors was ordered, poetic, spiritual, and wise — but also hierarchical, punitive, and often brutal. The Yoruba world of today is dynamic, hybrid, and self-aware, but fundamentally modern. To claim the two are the same is to erase both history and progress.

As a European who has watched cultures across continents re-invent their pasts, I find the Yoruba example deeply human. Every society romanticises its ancestors. The honest path, however, is to admit that modern cultural pride is not about returning to what was, but about transforming it into what can still give meaning now.

Only when Yoruba identity — and indeed all cultural identities — embraces that truth, can it celebrate its heritage without being trapped by its mythology.

As a Norwegian scholar who has spent decades studying Yoruba civilisation — its origins, spiritual frameworks, oral philosophy, and social organisation — I view the John Randle Centre as both an inspiring and revealing project. It celebrates Yoruba identity with colour and confidence, but it also exposes a deeper truth about how “tradition” is being reinterpreted in modern Nigeria.

From a European perspective, it is fascinating to watch how a culture once grounded in strict cosmology, spiritual hierarchy, and communal ethics is now being refashioned through modern ideals. The irony, however, lies in the way so many contemporary Nigerians claim to be “unapologetically traditional” while quietly abandoning many of the core traditions that defined Yoruba civilisation.

Across time, numerous elements have been set aside or softened — the spiritual and political authority of the Ifá priesthood, the societal functions of the Ogboni council, ancestral veneration through ritual sacrifice, gendered rites of passage, arranged marriages, and the original meaning of kinship duties and taboos. All these, once sacred to Yoruba identity, are now considered “outdated” or incompatible with human rights and modern living.

None of this is to condemn progress. Every civilisation evolves. But intellectual honesty demands acknowledgment: what is being practised today is not the ancient Yoruba culture, but a modern, curated version of it. It is a selective revival that retains the aesthetics — the language, the drumming, the deities — while discarding much of the cosmological substance that gave them context.

As a European, I find this tension deeply familiar. Europe too has romanticised its medieval traditions while living far removed from their realities. But the difference is that Europeans generally acknowledge the historical distance between past and present. In Nigeria, however, there is often a claim that the modern expression is the original one — that cultural pride and historical continuity are the same. They are not.

You cannot claim to practise ancient Yoruba tradition while filtering it through 21st-century moral frameworks. That is not continuity — it is adaptation. And adaptation is not shameful; it is natural. But it should be recognised as such.

The Yoruba culture of today is a remarkable, living reinterpretation — vibrant, global, creative — yet it is not the same culture its ancestors lived by. To honour those ancestors truthfully is to admit that modern Yoruba identity is not preservation, but transformation. Only by acknowledging that difference can cultural pride be rooted in honesty rather than illusion.

What you’ve described is beyond shameful — it’s the height of hypocrisy. Men like you are the loudest in demanding obedient, submissive, and dutiful wives, insisting on all the cultural rites and respect that tradition requires. You expect women to kneel, to serve, to honour you — yet you show no trace of the discipline, restraint, or respect that those same traditions demand from a man.

The irony is staggering. One morning of your wife not making you breakfast somehow became your excuse to betray her — not just with anyone, but with her own mother. That isn’t manhood; it’s moral decay. And what does that say about the family that raised her, that once insisted on full traditional rites and demanded respect from you, only to turn around and violate their own daughter’s marriage?

This kind of behaviour exposes how hollow those constant speeches about “our culture” really are. You cannot demand total devotion and loyalty from women while living without integrity yourself. Culture loses its meaning when it becomes a one-way demand — when men use it to control women but never to discipline themselves.

Tradition should be about honour, balance, and respect — not entitlement. What you and that mother did didn’t just break vows; it made a mockery of every custom and principle you both pretended to believe in.

The truth is simple: the problem isn’t women failing to submit — it’s men like you failing to be worthy of the respect you so loudly demand.

What you described is not only disgraceful — it’s a complete mockery of the very traditions and values you claim to represent. You went through all the cultural rites to marry your wife: kneeling, prostrating, showing respect before her family, accepting her mother’s blessing. That same family — the same mother who entrusted you with her daughter — is now the woman you chose to betray her with.

Can you not see how deeply dishonourable that is? It’s not just infidelity; it’s the total desecration of every cultural and moral boundary you once claimed to uphold. You didn’t just break trust — you insulted the very tradition that once gave you pride and identity.

And yet, it’s men like you who are often the quickest to demand that others — especially those outside Nigeria — show reverence for Nigerian customs and respect for “our culture.” But how can you expect anyone to value a culture that its own men do not honour in private? You can’t preach tradition, respect, and family values, while treating them as hollow rituals when no one is watching.

This kind of hypocrisy is precisely why many people see those cultural demands as performative rather than principled. Tradition only carries meaning when lived with integrity. Without that, it becomes nothing more than an empty show — noise without virtue.

Your actions didn’t just betray your wife; they exposed how shallow your understanding of respect and honour truly is. You’ve proven that the problem isn’t outsiders disrespecting your culture — it’s men within it who refuse to live by its values.

Madibahisback:
My wife's mom came to spend the holiday with us this season, but I've been noticing that she's giving me greenlight , but it's somehow weird tho, we talk we play , and she's a big fan of Lakers

this morning my wife left for Ontario and my kids where having virtual classes because of covid..

To cut this MF story short this morning I entered her room to serve her food I prepared because my wife didn't prepared any cause she was out early .
I stayed in her room just to keep her company, we were talking and after some time she kept shut , she was just staring at me..

I asked her whats the issue , she told me to sit beside her , and she asked me why do I love staring at her asss , I just smiled off , before knowing what's up the next thing was her hands on my d!ck , I was wearing only pants so I couldn't hide my erection..
Then we connected ,the asss was damn big , sliding in from the back is amazing ..
But I knew I just did a crazy thing
But I feel good tho

What you just described is deeply disturbing, and to be honest, shameful. There’s nothing admirable or amusing about betraying your wife and disrespecting your own family under your own roof. The way you spoke about it — as if it were something to boast about — only makes it worse.

It’s not about nationality; it’s about integrity. But it’s especially disheartening when someone from a culture that so loudly preaches honour, humility, and family values behaves in the exact opposite way. This kind of hypocrisy is precisely what undermines the respect Nigerians often demand from others.

What you did shows a lack of self-control, respect, and decency — not manhood. If you have any sense of conscience left, you should be feeling remorse, not satisfaction. Discipline and honour aren’t just words to throw around; they’re principles to live by. Right now, you’ve shown none of them.