₦airaland Forum

The Hypocrisy of Selective Tradition in Modern Yoruba Culture

In today’s world, the Yoruba people often proudly describe themselves as “traditional,” invoking the importance of culture, respect, and humility. Yet, the reality of modern Yoruba life reveals a deep contradiction: very little about the way they live today is truly traditional. The culture they defend so fiercely has been reshaped by modernity, education, religion, and global human rights. What remains of “tradition” is often selective — used as a moral weapon to demand obedience or reinforce hierarchy, rather than as a living system of mutual respect and shared values.

This selective traditionalism becomes most visible in settings like traditional weddings, where one side of the family — often the groom’s — is expected to perform exaggerated acts of humility, such as prostrating and offering gifts, all in the name of “respect.” Yet, this same society has long abandoned many authentic Yoruba traditions, calling them outdated, inhumane, or contrary to human rights. If they can rightfully evolve and discard old customs that violate dignity, then it is hypocritical to cling to certain rituals simply for ego or control.

Historically, Yoruba culture included practices that have since been dropped for moral and legal reasons. These include human sacrifice, the killing of twins, and the burial of attendants with kings, all of which were condemned as violations of the right to life. Widowhood rituals that shamed women, child and forced marriages, and caste-based discrimination have been rejected under modern laws and human rights standards. The trial-by-ordeal system and oath-taking rituals have been replaced by modern courts. Property inheritance laws have evolved to include women, and Oro cult restrictions are increasingly criticized for violating freedom of movement.

Each of these changes represents a conscious decision by Yoruba society to modernize — to prioritize human dignity and adapt to contemporary life. Yoruba people now live with electricity, internet, global education, Western clothing, and digital lifestyles. They marry in churches and mosques, study abroad, run tech companies, and use English or Pidgin more often than their native tongues. Every aspect of their lives is shaped by the modern world, not by ancient custom. Yet, when it comes to weddings, respect, or generational hierarchy, many suddenly become “traditionalists,” demanding that others kneel, prostrate, and submit — even when they themselves no longer live by the same standards in other areas.

That is the heart of the hypocrisy. You cannot claim to be traditional only when it benefits your pride or authority. True tradition cannot survive through selective enforcement. If Yoruba people have embraced modernity in how they live, work, and worship, then they must also accept that others have the right to fully reject rituals that no longer align with genuine cultural or moral purpose. The same human-rights logic used to abandon harmful practices should apply to these outdated expectations of humility and submission.

In truth, Yoruba people today are modern human beings, not ancient villagers. They have every right to evolve — but with that right comes honesty. Either one accepts modernity fully, with its emphasis on equality and mutual respect, or one practices tradition wholly, including its old laws, taboos, and sacrifices. But to cherry-pick traditions for convenience is not cultural pride — it is selective nostalgia, disguised as moral authority.

Therefore, everyone within Yoruba society has the right to reject any traditional expectation that no longer serves fairness or authenticity. Respect should be mutual, not one-sided; humility should be genuine, not performative. If modern Yoruba life has already discarded countless customs under the banner of human rights and progress, then demanding blind adherence to “tradition” in weddings or social relations is not culture — it is contradiction.

The Hypocrisy of Prostration and the Decline of Traditional Yoruba Customs

The cultural landscape of Yoruba society, like many others, has undergone significant transformations over time. While many of its customs and traditions have been preserved, some have been abandoned entirely, often due to changes in societal values, economic structures, and global influences. One of the most prominent examples of a Yoruba tradition that has been retained despite its decline in relevance and morality is the practice of prostration. The ritual, often linked to the humility and respect expected of men towards their elders, has become a symbol of cultural contradiction.

The paradox here lies not only in the cultural delusion of dominance embedded in the prostration practice but also in the hypocrisy of those who demand it. They call themselves a humble and respectful people, yet their actions contradict the very values of humility and mutual respect that the tradition was supposed to signify. This essay will explore the abandonment of several Yoruba traditions over the years, highlight the non-legal nature of prostration, and discuss the discrepancy between proclaimed humility and actual behavior in modern Yoruba society.

The Non-Legal Status of Prostration: A Cultural Command, Not a Legal Requirement

One of the most debated aspects of Yoruba culture is the expectation of prostration (ìdọ̀bálẹ̀) from men, particularly in the context of marriage. The practice is considered a form of respect and humility, where the man is expected to bow to the ground in front of elders, especially in the presence of the bride's family. Proponents argue that this ritual is an essential part of Yoruba cultural identity and an expression of respect for elders.

However, it is important to note that prostration is not a legal requirement. There is no Nigerian law or constitutional mandate that enforces the practice, nor is it stipulated as a formal requirement for marriage. It remains, at best, an unspoken cultural expectation, not enforceable by law. This distinction is crucial because it demonstrates that, despite the pressures and the emotional blackmail often imposed on men to perform the act, refusing to prostrate is not a violation of any legal norm. It is, at most, a challenge to a traditional practice that has evolved beyond its original purpose.

The Hypocrisy of Humility and Respect in Yoruba Culture

In the case of prostration, the ritual is often defended under the guise of humility and respect. Yet, this claim is increasingly difficult to reconcile with the reality on the ground. In Yoruba culture, the very notion of respect and humility should be based on personal merit, grounded in mutual recognition and understanding, rather than on forced, symbolic gestures. However, the practice of prostration, particularly when demanded with the weight of family authority, shifts this idea of respect from being earned to being automatically demanded. This creates a distorted hierarchy where the value of the man is reduced to his obedience to an outdated custom.

The demand for prostration becomes, therefore, a symbolic power play — a means to assert dominance over a person under the guise of respect. In many Yoruba families, elders may insist on prostration as a sign of submission, yet, in doing so, they fail to embody the core values of humility and respect themselves. Instead of showing true humility in recognizing the personal boundaries and individuality of others, they demand respect in a forced, performative manner.

This paradox — where the call for respect is accompanied by actions that undermine mutual respect — reflects the broader issue of hypocrisy in many Yoruba families. The expectation of prostration, when imposed, is disrespectful in itself because it denies the individual the basic human right to say "no" without facing family repercussions. Those who demand such rituals often claim they are upholding Yoruba traditions of humility, but in reality, they are reinforcing a system of dominance and control.

The Decline of Other Yoruba Traditions

It is not just prostration that has faced scrutiny or decline in modern Yoruba society. Several other traditions that once formed the foundation of Yoruba marriage customs have been abandoned over the years, particularly those that did not directly benefit the bride's family. These traditions were discarded largely because they were seen as inconvenient, overly complex, or simply outdated in the context of a modern, globalized society.

For example, the white cloth virginity tradition — which required a bride to present a blood-stained cloth to prove her virginity — was once an integral part of Yoruba wedding rites. However, it has been largely dropped in recent years due to the gender inequality it perpetuated. The practice, which placed an unfair burden on women and failed to recognize the complexities of sexual relationships, was inherently patriarchal. Its abandonment reflects a cultural shift toward gender equality and a rejection of practices that objectify women and undermine their autonomy.

Similarly, the elaborate bride price rituals and the traditional expectation that the bride's family provide for the groom’s wedding attire have been simplified or abandoned. As Yoruba society has become more urbanized and economically independent, these practices — which were once symbols of family cooperation and honor — have become increasingly irrelevant. The transition to more individualized wedding ceremonies, often influenced by Christianity or Islam, has led to the reduction or elimination of these older, more complex traditions.

In fact, the shifting priorities of modern Yoruba culture have led to the removal of many marriage customs that once placed the bride's family in a dominant position. The only practices that seem to persist — often unquestioned and unquestionable — are those that give the bride's family the most power, like prostration. In this sense, Yoruba culture has been selective in preserving customs, often keeping those that strengthen their own authority, while letting go of those that don’t serve immediate familial interests.

The Selective Preservation of Prostration: Cultural Power Plays

Despite the decline of many traditions that once had significant roles in Yoruba marriages, prostration has endured. This survival is not because of its deep cultural or moral value, but because it functions as a means of asserting dominance and controlling relationships. While other outdated traditions were discarded for being inconvenient or patriarchal, prostration remains, and in some cases, has even become more rigidly enforced.

This selective preservation of prostration highlights the hierarchical and control-oriented nature of many modern Yoruba marriage practices. The demands placed on men to submit themselves to submissive rituals like prostration, while the same demands are not placed on women, suggests a contradiction in the claimed values of respect and humility. This contradiction has led to an increasing sense of frustration among those who view the tradition not as an expression of genuine cultural values, but as a mechanism of social and familial control.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the continued insistence on prostration, despite its non-legal status and its failure to align with the core values of mutual respect and humility, is a clear example of the cultural hypocrisy that plagues modern Yoruba society. The practice, which should embody the genuine respect for one’s elders, has been co-opted as a performative ritual used to enforce submission rather than to foster real humility. At the same time, the abandonment of many other traditions, such as the white cloth virginity custom, highlights the selective nature of cultural preservation, with the emphasis placed on those rituals that reinforce family power.

Ultimately, the Yoruba concept of respect — one that should be founded on mutual understanding, trust, and autonomy — is undermined by practices that place value not on the character or merit of individuals, but on obedience and submission to outdated customs. As the culture continues to evolve, it is essential to reexamine these practices and ensure that they align with the true values of respect and humility — values that should be based on individual choice, mutual understanding, and the freedom to say no without facing backlash.

Nigerians are the strangest things I've seen in Nigeria. You are all bizarre 🙄

Lovelyperson:
You need to grow up and have more wisdom there. Bills are everyone responsibility, not only meant for a man.

Then how are you traditional people at all? You never practice what you preach as men, you should all be called Bob (best of both) as men

You want the submissive housewife that will cook and clean and raise the children doing what you say but at the same time you want them out working and paying the bills

Basically what you want is a working wife that contribute 50/50 the bills and maintenance of your lifestyles and domestic slaves at home while you just do the 9 to 5 and then get worshipped and praised home for doing the bare minimum

Under your logic the right thing if you want this is both of you working and both of you doing equal household chores and equals no submission at all

Partners in life not a dictatorship, if she's helping you pay the bills to keep a roof over your head then she gets an equal say in the running of the house and she gets an equal says in the kids education, she gets an equal say in absolutely everything or you are just hypocrites with double standards and this is not a worldwide phenomenon its a black man and African man and American man phenomenon

Check Europe, check Australia, check Asia and check the middle east its not the majority of men talking like this, its the incapable men

See Tello619 and Tello916 you finally admitted you want attention and attention will make you happy

Seun:
Hello,

Please accept my apology for an issue with the anti-spam and moderation bot code that caused a lot of innocent posts to be hidden over a couple of days. We fixed the issue yesterday evening. We are also planning to restore the incorrectly hidden posts before the end of the day.

Regards,
Seun Osewa.

The issue is that Tello619 and Tello916 over used the report button and made lots of accounts

Why would he need multiple accounts unless he was causing issues with multiple members and using it to get around the banning and blocking system

Its funny how the Fenrirwolf account used to frame me was made the exact same day as his wassabi account and funny how it how it hasn't been activate since before and after he updated that account and posted the images of it

Look at the date and his wassabi account was created and the amount of time it was used and do the same with the Fenrirwolf account

All screenshots the after he posted it all

Jozzy4:
Many people head will be resettled with Dislike button

Unless someone is like me and aim to set the highest record of dislike possible

essentialone1:
The only reason why I still come to Nairaland is that it is anonymous

No offence fella just proving a point

Cromagnon:


Will you pay for the sentinels f

No offence fella just proving a point

Fenrir:
Here is the problem

Tello619 and Tello916 has made multiple accounts which are these

wassabi
Fenrirwolf
Kaybai
And a few more to around the banning and blocking system specifically to harass people hes either a pest or attracted to me its not very flattering

Please sort him out and ban his ip address so he can't do it anymore

https://www.nairaland.com/8510891/tello916-tello619-isnt-just-attacking#136662440

Ill even prove how hes been doing it by making the 2 posts above mine get hidden now

Fenrir:
You have direct proof thats hes made up multiple accounts just these images of the profiles bragging about his dishonesty funny how all the posts and topics stopped getting hidden after this topic about him was made then multiple accounts popped up of him trying to pin all on me and he even attempted to hide posts in that topic the same way

Check the ip addresses for each account and you will they are all his and I give you full permission to post mine to verify hes making it all up

Anyone can literally hide topic or post they dont agree with thats how hes been doing it, you just put multiple reports on the same post within seconds you should think about plugging that exploit so nothing can be hidden from reporting a post without verification

Fenrir:
Here is the problem

Tello619 and Tello916 has made multiple accounts which are these

wassabi
Fenrirwolf
Kaybai
And a few more to around the banning and blocking system specifically to harass people hes either a pest or attracted to me its not very flattering

Please sort him out and ban his ip address so he can't do it anymore

https://www.nairaland.com/8510891/tello916-tello619-isnt-just-attacking#136662440

You have direct proof thats hes made up multiple accounts just these images of the profiles bragging about his dishonesty funny how all the posts and topics stopped getting hidden after this topic about him was made then multiple accounts popped up of him trying to pin all on me and he even attempted to hide posts in that topic the same way

Check the ip addresses for each account and you will they are all his and I give you full permission to post mine to verify hes making it all up

Here is the problem

Tello619 and Tello916 has made multiple accounts which are these

wassabi
Fenrirwolf
Kaybai
And a few more to around the banning and blocking system specifically to harass people hes either a pest or attracted to me its not very flattering

Please sort him out and ban his ip address so he can't do it anymore

https://www.nairaland.com/8510891/tello916-tello619-isnt-just-attacking#136662440

Watch this its only 20 minutes and not offensive, just a professor talking and there are members of that particular belief in the class


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Uu2gzvR3sA?si=2LsewLfN8HLzYQfp

Seriously why are you all focused on other countries when that particular belief system is doing worse here? Why are you complaining about this but not doing anything about them here? It baffles me

zendi:
No, France. A French Court ruled that the entire two million Gazans are welcome in France as refugees.

Then they head straight to the uk for the benefits system

Free housing
Universal credit, like £400 per month for doing nothing plus an extra £400 on pip per month if they have a disability
Free dental and Free health care

Successsearch90:
HAMAS go plenty pass for Britain. 🤣 🤣

Yeah the Uk but some countries are taking steps to make that particular religion illegal though Austria has just upheld a sharia ruling

This world has gone crazy, the country Hitler came from is handing themselves over

Okechinwadike:
No place with Muslim with out any problems, they are prone to problems

Well said but also for some nationalities as well like Pakistani and Indian with child abuse and wherever Chinese go pet dogs and cats seem to disappear

Botragelad:
Welcome to Europe(part) overrun with criminals hiding behind the label of asylum seekers and even so called legal migrants. Stop bringing them in, it’s really that simple

Fella why do you think I left Europe? If they are all heading there we might as head to Africa and use to our skills to improve their countries

They can have the cold and the rain and we can take the sun and the shine

Im a legal migrant 😊 and now a legal citizen and now im a citizen i enquire about this polygamy thing you fellas seem to like so much

Kdon2:
You mean 5he islamist? They are doing lots of terrible things across the world no doubt.

Yeah like the grooming gangs in the uk

Kdon2:
The war will continue for as long as the hostages are still being held by Hamas

Im sorry but are you worried about what that belief system is doing in another country when they are doing just as much bad if now worse in this country?

Seriously, why?

JosEast:
Women and children fell to the ground, bloodied and trampled in a desperate surge for food being handed out in a Nairobi slum, as police fired teargas and men with sticks beat the hungry. As African countries grapple with the coronavirus pandemic, observers warn that the traumatic scenes which played out last Friday will not be the last if governments fail to help millions of urban poor who live hand-to-mouth.

“I give them (the government) one to two weeks before things get worse. Not in terms of coronavirus, but in terms of hunger,” said Kennedy Odede, who runs Shining Hope For Communities (SHOFCO), a grassroots movement which works in the Nairobi slum Kibera and other informal settlements in Kenya. “If it continues like this, we might be playing with fire.”

Kenya has so far cordoned off the capital and parts of its coastline and imposed a night-time curfew and other social distancing measures. Many of these restrictions are having a wrenching impact, causing loss of jobs among the poor, said Odede. While President Uhuru Kenyatta has wielded the threat of a full lockdown to get citizens to comply with the rules, officials admit it is an agonising choice, especially as 60 percent of Nairobi’s residents live in slums. “Locking up people in the slums will be the last option. A lot needs to be done before that,” a high-ranking security official told AFP on condition of anonymity.

– ‘Unenforceable and unsustainable’ –

The coronavirus arrived late in Africa, but is slowly taking hold with over 15,000 cases and 800 deaths across the continent. While much of the developed world waited weeks to begin taking action, countries in Africa rapidly shut borders and banned mass gatherings. Mauritius, Rwanda and Tunisia were the first to impose full lockdowns — with Mauritius going so far as to shut supermarkets and bakeries for 10 days.

South Africa is the biggest economy on the continent to completely confine its citizens, while Nigeria imposed lockdowns on Lagos — the continent’s largest city — and its capital Abuja, which on Monday were extended for another two weeks.

Read more: https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/starve-or-get-sick-africas-lockdown-dilemma.html

Why does it have to be one or the other? If you truly wanted it then you could commit to both "starve and get sick"

Or you could look at the facts and do neither

Africa does not have a food shortage issue, whst you have is food distribution issue, Africa does infact grow and raise enough food for everyone in Africa but Africans are not getting it, you sre exporting most of it, nationality should come first and feed the world after and as for sickness

Just an idea but if had a NHS and all working adults willingly paid 100 naira per month

So if for example you have 200,000,000 working age adults and you all pay 100 naira per month NHS tax thats 20,000,000,000 naira every towards a functioning national health system every month

The only thing stopping it are your populations and your governments, we do it in Europe so there is no reason you cant