₦airaland Forum

itsme01:
thats a big lie, FG can run a student loan scheme or educational scholarship based on your semester performance so that students dont get burnt and Universities can truly enjoy financial autonomy..

even at that, our tax laws give FG right to demand any payroll system of both private and public organisation

Student loan in Nigeria? A fresh university graduate in Nigeria can hardly get a good job within the first four years of graduation.

How is he going to pay back the loan?

Same person said he wouldn't run for a second time, here we are still in misery

To be honest, move on.

Welcome to the club. We still dey alive, we no die. Only that some of us don turn "bad" boys.

tomdon:
My God! You're a despicable human being. How washing plate helping your wife. Which kind of stone age humans are these!!!

This isn't about the man not helping his wife. Its about the way she "asked" him.

"I repeated"

After saying it the first time, was she now expecting a "Yes, ma"?

This is probably a man that used to pay the rent, children's schools, even give her money to start her business.

Now all of a sudden, you are "asking" him to wash plate. Not even at home, but in the public...lol. Women!!

Its very funny how some women choose to fight the nature of a man and expect to enjoy their marriage. Its better and wiser to understand who a man, your man is, and have a blissful marriage.

chii8:
If this isn't copy and paste....,I will say the woman should have asked herself if her husband has ever helped her wash plate,if not why will you tell a grown man to wash plate when you already know he is in his trying time.
The man also should have walked away and not slapping the woman.

If he had just worked away, she would have shouted it out to her.

"What kind of husband are you? Can't you see I need help here?"

Stupid woman.

decatalyst:
You have valid point bro.

I have two sisters and a brother, it has been tough getting them to do stuffs, but they respected me shall unlike the dude that created this thread. I sat down and tried to figure out how to get the results I desire. I simply started acting unconcerned, uncaring and have no time for them, though I send money when it is necessary and important. My last born who is the most stubborn...dunno if anyone is more stubborn than her, broke finally! She cried and pointed out that I don't call, care and unconcerned about her...lol! Since that day, she has changed and we talk more and I am enjoying it my brother. The truth is, solution to any problem or concern is not far from the problem if we look inward and around.

@firstbornson stay calm

She was like this while she was still at home.

Thanks everyone for your comments. Having so many persons to talk to at the same has inspired hope in me - helped me gather my thoughts.

I must confess; reading your comments and experiences actually breeds some sort of confusion as regards what to do, but certain opinions and ideas are recurring. Again, thanks alot.

Farewell, Soldier.

Your courage and bravery lives on.

ValCon888:
Please send her home before 'weed smoking cultist' will get her pregnant. It is not your responsibility to train or raise her. That's your parents responsibility. If they are angry about what you did, ship her back like a defective jumia product. You are only doing them a favour. That girl can even be a distraction at a time when you need to focus on clearing all your papers.

People like your sister always come back to their senses when something bad has happened to them.
In this case pregnancy or joining cult group.

I pray it doesn't come to that before she realizes herself.
Thanks.

MrBrownJay1:
You have to assert your authority, and stop having the person walk all over you like that.
Start by making serious threats to have her being shipped back to your parents, and if she doesn't change, stick to your words and send her back there.



Some people are not good school wise, and that's ok.... Ask her what she wants to do, and see if you can find a course/classes where she will enjoy her passion fully. At 19, she may be lost as to where she could be heading from there, and having her mind focused on something is important.



Come on...your sista must be up to no good with them.... At least smoking, which is probably why she has an attitude. Being a pothead does that to you, especially if some fool is making her feel bigger/funkier than she actually is. Throwing her out of your house would have her go shack with this demon child.



The direct outcome of weed+having some dude make her feeling herself...



Well done!!!!!



Be strong on this issue and tell your parents that YOU should raise/help that child the best YOU see fit, and if they don't like it then they should take her back home and care for her their damn self (politely though)



So who pays for rent? Or is it your parents house? Then I suggest you keep quiet and let that demon child (sister) do what she pleases and clean your mouth from her biz....



Be patient...stick to your plan and finish your education 1st, then get a decent job to help you move out of there and live your own life. Take your time as rushing won't help in this matter.

Thank you.

castro316:
My honest advice

I am a first son. As you and have 6 sisters. How do I manage them. Hmm bro it's the grace of God. My prayer is for God to give me all boys because girls are really difficult to cater for esp in their adolescent stage.

Ignore her completely, act like she does not exist. The reason why she is disrespecting you is because you are giving her too much attention. Do the dishes yourself. Clean your house by yourself. Ask her to raise her legs so that you can sweep the floors. Whenever you see her with her crew of guys don't say a word. Do this for a month she will realize she is On her own. She will start getting scared and start seeking attention else where. When she gets negative attention and see the selfishness of the people she is with, and reality of life sets in she will find her roots. Pls don't interfere with this process because you will ruin everything. They are probably having sex but don't kill yourself. That's life for you. I have a sister though not wayward but she is very stubborn. It took me 4 yrs to bring her to her senses. Now she realizes she needs a brother.

Bringing her to her senses
Maybe after a month or two she may need your opinion about something. Reply her with calmness and never relate it to any of her lifestyles. Its possible you judge her all the time about her lifestyle that's why she disrespects you. Its probably doesn't like the life but don't know how to change so be objective in your communication with her with time she will see you as someone to look up to. Always encourage her to do the good things and reward her when she does them. You may never get her to your side but you will get your respect back. Abi is that not what you always wanted?

By the way when is your birthday and when is hers so that I can couch you better?

Thank you. My birthday is 6 June while hers is 3 May.

Preshy561:
So sad.
I really hate disrespectful siblings.

Our last born is stubborn but I can't beat her cos she's stronger than me.
All I do is to avoid arguments with her or threaten not to give her any of my belongings or give her money.

The truth is that, she'd start respecting you when she sees you can now Carter for yourself and for anybody. Same thing with your parents scolding you.

Relax and make money, and all these nonsense will stop.
If she chooses to date the useless landlord's son, then leave her, all the regret will be bore by her alone. Just do your best.

But why are some landlord's first sons almost very useless?

Thank you. Although, I don't think threatening not to give her money would work here. My parents give us same amount of pocket money.

Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.