₦airaland Forum

Smellymouth:
Osibanjo be like ==>Bubu Baba, effer since Mike Zookabag sneaked into United States of Nigeria, these people haff not let us rest..

Bubu ==> Osifanjo, wahalai ta lai, me I nor kwondastand if Mack Zakaria is (b)figger than my kwattles.. Let them Kwantinue..But tell the fifu vefore I count to Pipty, they should behave..

Osibanjo ==> Bubu, should I tell NEPA to off the lights?

KrystalConnect:
cc Myn_d44

teasel:
Majority of you idiots don't even have a brain not to talk of using it.

The report that Mark Zuckerberg is in Lagos, is no longer news, right? Yesterday, August 30, Nigerians on social media attacked CNN , after the international news media house tweeted that Mark Zuckerberg was in ‘Sub-Saharan Africa’ instead of stating Nigeria outright.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt5fha2pf488n.928cf34b.jpg[/img]

Mark Zuckerberg with children at the children coding camp
However, now that Mark Zuckerberg is in Lagos, Nigeria, what are the five places he must visit before he leaves Lagos?
1. Facebook Partner Workshop Developer Event.

The workshop which holds today, Wednesday, is one of the major reasons Mark Zuckerberg is in Nigeria. Although attendance is free, the event is strictly by invitation, and the venue is likely CC HUB in Yaba, Lagos.

During the workshop, you’ll hear from Facebook Product, Partnerships, and Engineering teams, who will be providing exclusive, hands-on instruction via code plans, tech-talks, and updates on the latest Facebook Platform products designed to help you build and grow a successful business.

2. Olumo Rock.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt336fnphnq3tg.64b51e3c.jpg[/img]

Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, Ogun state.

When Zuckerberg was in India, one of the places he visited was the Taj Mahal. What is the Nigerian equivalent? There are many, but Olumo Rock is filled with enough history to make a thoroughly enjoyable tourist stop for him.

About two hours away from Lagos, in the quiet city of Abeokuta, Ogun state, Mark Zuckerberg should definitely tear himself away from technology long enough to visit Olumo Rock.

3. Aso Rock.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt4s0662l4q98.9195fa97.jpg[/img]

The Aso Rock is the equivalent of the White House
Mark Zuckerberg has met the Pope, Barack Obama, President Xi Jinping of China and a whole lot of other powerful leaders across the world.

So, definitely, he must visit the Aso Rock and meet the Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari. Especially, as the online platform, Facebook, played a major role in getting President Buhari elected.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt2e1k7i1t6r1g.710fb8cb.jpg[/img]

Mark Zuckerberg lands in Nigeria on August 30.

4. White House.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt76uvifp8bkp.4bc06189.jpg[/img]

White House buka in Yaba, Lagos feeds a teeming population.

No, not the White House in the United States, the Whitehouse Restaurant at No 9, Chapel Street, Sabo Yaba, Lagos, which is quite close to the CC HUB.

It is time Zuckerberg tastes and tells the world about the wonders and culinary delight of the White House amala with ewedu soup.

5. Orphanages.

[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt4ahdaip1ubp.acf2928e.jpg[/img]

There are numerous orphanages littered around Lagos
There are a lot of orphanages in Lagos, around Surulere and Yaba, that Mark Zuckerberg should visit. The children there will definitely need some of the charity from the Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative.

He has shown on several occasions that he is ever ready to give to a worthwhile cause, so who knows what he might give to the orphanages he decides to visit.

Meanwhile, are there any other places, you feel, he must visit?

Oche211:
hehehehehehehe even the gods are hungry.

Sunnycliff:
Igbo women the pride of the Nation. Always setting the pace in beauty, elegance and ingenuity cum affluence!!

Jengem:
Great dude

Unlike some entrepreneurs who support trribalism and ban ppl for no reason

Wingback:
The least you could do was put a link to the old joke.

Berbierklaus:
RIP mayowa
its just unfortunate that she couldn't make it

btw does cancer have a cure

Berbierklaus:
Go ahead

[color=#000033]"How do you tell if a woman in Las Vegas is a prostitute?"
"She makes eye contact."
OK, now that that's out of the way.

---

My experience with a man thinking he's a female based on his dress and and make-up when I was 17.

I was in Las Vegas when a beautiful woman in a tiny black cocktail dress made eye contact across the Casino floor.

I felt a shiver go right down my spine and right to my crotch the moment she looked at him.

She was gorgeous. Tall. Dark eyes. A sway to her hips.

The woman walked over to me and I bought her a drink.
She laid a hand on my bicep. Then she laid a hand on my thigh and I felt my strain against his pants."So." She said. She gave me a little squeeze.

"So." I said. "Uhh. um. How much for a hand job?"
"A hand job," she said? And the words fell out of her mouth like honey. "Yeah. Yeah. How much for a hand job" he
sputtered.

"A hand job is $200" she said, plain and innocents like she was giving me directions to the mall. I felt nauseous in my stomach. "$200?," 1 said. "$200 for a hand job?
What?

What makes your hand jobs so good that they're worth $200 dollars?"

A tiny smile crept across the woman's lips. "Come with me," she said and she slithered towards the casino door.

I followed her outside. "Do you see that Denny's down the street?,"
She said. I looked and saw a Denny's about a quarter mile down the road. "Yeah."

"Do you see that other Denny's a little further down?" I strained my eyes, but I saw it. Denny's are thick on the ground in Vegas.

"I own BOTH of those Denny's because I give a
hand job that's worth $200."

I swallowed hard and looked for an ATM. When the hand job was over I laid in
his hotel bed in a state of shock.

It had been amazing. The greatest hand-job I'd ever received. I wasn't even sure I'd ever be able to self-service again because it would pale so much in comparison.

Every muscle in my body was slack. I felt warm. Happy. Safe.

The woman walked out of the bathroom drying her hands. She started walking onwards the door. "Wait! Wait," I said.

"Uhh . . . listen. That was . . . that was amazing. But I have to know . . . I just have to. How much for a Mouth Action?"
"A Mouth Action," the woman said (or maybe she purred?)
"A Mouth Action is $500."

"$50 !!!!" I almost screamed. "Listen,
you just gave me the greatest hand job of my life, but what the heck makes
your blow jobs worth $500?"
The woman walked towards the hotel window.

"Do you see that hotel across the street?" she asked. I looked at the hotel. It wasn't a huge casino or anything, but it was a nice hotel with maybe 100 rooms right off the strip. It was easily worth millions. It had gargoyles that seemed to stare at me with beady, hungry eyes. "Yeah. I see it."

"I own that hotel because I give blow-jobs that are worth $500." She said. I knew he was sunk. I couldn't afford it but I HAD to know what this woman could do with her mouth that was worth $500 . . .

I went downstairs and got her a cashier's check. And the Mouth Action was. amazing.

It was a religious experience for me. I felt my body and my soul separate. I felt loved and wanted. He felt powerful. I felt all the stresses of my life. My job that I hated so much just fade away.

And when she was done, I just lay there in total, absolute bliss . . .
I heard the woman gurgling with mouth wash in the bathroom. She picked up her purse to leave.

And even though I didn't WANT to says anything because I KNEW I couldn't afford it, I couldn't help my. "Wait! Wait!"
She stopped.

"I have to know. How much for
the pússy?"
"The Kitty-Cat?" she said and I saw a twinkle in her eye.

She walked back to the window. "Do you see Las Vegas out there? Do you see the giant casinos, the monstrous hotels,
the hot dog vendors, the strip clubs, the bright neon signs, the roller coasters, the theaters, the working girls . . . do you see the cabs and and the bouncers and the slot machines? Do you see ALL of Las Vegas out there covered in light and pulsing??"

My mouth went dry. "Yeah, I see it."
"Honey, if I had a pússy, I'd own all of that too."

That was how I was scammed! [/color]

Berbierklaus:
Okay tell me one crazy thing you did at 17

[color=#000033]You just want me to fudge lies for you. [/color]

Berbierklaus:

[color=#000033]Do your face well jor. I am not lying. [/color]

Berbierklaus:
I typed two already

Tell us about yours,that's if you remember ancestor

[color=#000033]I don't do much when I was as that age, which has nothing to do with girls.

I don't get the ancestor you are talking about. [/color]

Berbierklaus:


When I was 17,I was in ss3

2nd term,I joined the league of boyfriend owners
Refused to kiss or hug him until
when nigga told all the guys I'm naive and inexperienced
He even asked my room mate out just to make me jealous
then i decided to prove him wrong by Kissing him in broad day light



When I was 17 I sneaked out of the hostel for a party with my friends,got caught on our way back,disgraced and flogged on assembly



When I was 17 I ...………………………………


cc Bab_zilla

schum_astic

Flash_h

[color=#000033]Stop hiding things miss.

Tell us what actually happened when you were 17. [/color]

victorazy:
e pain you?
If u touch Fayose bro, u've touched me.

Don't dare talk to that man like that ok?

Scalawag!

Pains me? You are just a joke of shít.

Now, it being proven you are Fayose's asslicker which I said before.

Keep on with the asslicking douchebag, it suits you.