₦airaland Forum

einsteino:
I am a realist, so I understand your fears. I still feel it depends on who you married and how well you think you know her. For those yet to marry, I usually say get a prenup if you can and then hope you never use it. As for the career, I would take a look.

That was a lot of mentions though, I get everyone's point. I wouldn't speak disrespectfully of a spouse on a public forum, but maybe we should cut him some slack. Things happen here and even to good people, so it is natural to be afraid. Those of you who are on the whatsapp group might remember the guy who was hushed by the ladies on the group when he said he couldn't understand why his wife was unwilling to split bills with him. His point was that in Naija, he never for once needed his wife's financial input in running the home because he earned several folds more than her but on getting to Canada, he isn't making a killing like he was in Naija and their income is now about the same. Mind you, the way things are set up here, it is very difficult to run a home on a single income. I thought it was reasonable for him to not only expect but demand that she takes some financial responsibility but to my surprise, a good number of the ladies on the group went on to say stuff like any man who makes such demands is simply not man enough. That shows that it is unrealistic to assume that every Nigerian lady out there would not begrudge you if she has to run the home. I laugh when our women argue that men are the head of the home so they have to foot the bills. Fact is men are not in anyway head of the home here, we are at best ceremonial heads because if ever the police or courts gets involved, the woman is lord.


Cae in point, a month ago, I had to house a friend who got kicked out of his home by the police. Oh yes! the sort of things we often assume is only to be heard not experienced. His girlfriend(they are civil partners) called the cops when they had an argument. Mind you he didn't assault her, inshort she is the one who has a history of assaulting him. That reminds me, if your lady ever assaults you, don't fool yourself to think that the manly thing to do is to tolerate, report it while you still can, it would cover your ass if there is ever litigation. During my work as a Concierge, I have escorted police on several occasions to apartments over calls bothering on domestic issues between couples. All it takes for police to get involved here is a quarell(no violence), inshort the lady needn't call. If the neighbours can hear loud voices, then y'all might just find the police at your door while at it. While I don't know the cause of these quarells, I get the sense that you not only have to be a good husband but you also must be married to a good wife if you are not to regret your marriage here(This is the case even in Nigeria, only that there is more to lose here).

Many of our men are autocratic and that simply can not work here. Some of our women do not understand that they too have to change. Some of our women have the weirdest expectations from a man, one that I hardly see from women of other nationalities. Equality must also extend to responsibilities. Though as with most things, a couple can not be dictated to as to what framework or rules to adopt in running their home. The key is that whatever framework you adopt, it has to suit you both and fair to each other's preference for peace to reign. If you are yet to marry, great! Consider your dates as interviews, especially if you close your options against non-nigerians. If you don't want a lady that is unwilling to split bills, ex them, if you don't want a man that chants be submissive, ex them.

There are many happy marriages here, like the one of my friend that I said his wife had his back for years until he found a reasonably paying job. And I sense that many of the men here dragging the OP also have relatively happy homes. However, to pretend that the risks for men doesn't increase when you settle here, is just being plain naive. Especially since we know that what holds many marriages in Nigeria together is just kids, the way divorce is viewed back home, along with the numerous relatives and clergy that would wade in.

All I can say is that as you plan on learning Canadian workplace culture and all you need to settle in Canada, couples should also plan on making changes that would foster peace and love in their home. Talk things over with your spouse, if there was bad blood or resentment, iron it out and be seen to make ammends. You would find that you would spend most of your spare time at home here, all the beer and bar time that served as escape from your home ceases the moment you get on board that flight. Nobody dey beg couples to stay together here, if una wan fight, police dey more than happy to arrest. If una dey form una no wan do again, lawyers no go school just because of passion, dem wan chop. So use your head, protect your homes because the system is set up to help you do otherwise. Your spouse should be your partner, not your competition.

ednut1:
someone once said once a man begins to fear he actually believes it may happen. Fear not if you are a good person your self. .

meobizy:
Na continuous lockdown sure pass for me and my household.

BeLookingIDIOT:
Go and check the stats,after the core North,you're next in poverty.

hucienda:
This is the Oyo SG Template -

and people were already about crucifying Governor Makinde for proposing this same thing in the state.

Charly68:
You lack home training

seunmsg:
Politicians ever learn, they keep repeating the same mistake over and over again.

Looking at how Fayose’s candidate lost the last election, one would have expected Fayemi to learn some lessons from him but no, he’s so power drunk and think he can win the next election alone.

From suspending Daramola to pushing Segun Oni and his supporters out of APC, he is now trying to suspend Oluyede, Ojudu and Adeyeye. Can he win the next election alone?

If Fayose, Olujimi and Segun Oni can find a way to work together, PDP will defeat APC in the next election in Ekiti State.

chiol:
You are not informed. Go and do your research well.

Charly68:
Can we know the cost of rent in Abakaleke please.. want to estab a company there..

chiol:
Cosmetic development. There is light in streets but non at home. He commissioned solar street light in Afikpo, where there has been no electricity since 2015.

I pay about 50k tax monthly to the state government, yet I have no electricity in my house. Pipe borne water is a no go area. Schools and hospitals are zero. After paying huge tax, I still pay heavily to provide these aminities for myself. What then is the need for paying taxes?

The only development you know is unnecessary substandard flyovers, concrete roads and disco lights in three roundabouts in Abakaliki, which he is being used to enrich himself as the supplier, contractor and supervisor. It is a pity!

lalawealthy:
Bros,if u are an Edo man,u won't be talking like this.I pray Obaseki wins the governorship election,but bros my fear is that he has mortgaged d state already...go mark it,we won't have any developmental project all tru.that's my fear .we should stop talking with sentiment.am a pro-obaseki but nah my fear b dis.

LLobiorah:
E.K. Gwuru.

chiol:
They have been recycling most of the pictures here since 2017. The Udensi roundabout, Presco junction and Spera in deo. These are Ebonyi state for them.

Afikpo has been without electricity since 2015. Apart from the low quality concrete roads in some villages, the only development in Ebonyi state is in these three Abakaliki roundabouts I mentioned.

mployer:
They maintained social distancing sha

OfoIgbo:
An IPOB judge

onyechez:
Sure, we need to get our priorities right before we jump into troubles.
I read a news where a Nigerian student spent thousands of pounds in the UK to get a PHD degree in the UK but was refused and discriminated against, she requested for a refund but to no avail did she get it, she came back to Nigeria and re-apply to go to the UK but was denied visa, such news should get to naira land to so that the relevant authorities would help her.

BeLookingIDIOT:
How many Muslims are there? Is that supposed to be an achievement.You should be more concerned about how your region is becoming a desert and competing with the core North in poverty.
Even the Edo people are not screaming the way you guys are doing over the deputy who is actually a pastor.
You guys are irritating

BeLookingIDIOT:
Even the Edo people are not screaming the way you guys are doing over the deputy who is actually a pastor.
You guys are irritating

onyechez:
re-couped which amount, very few of them get jobs over there, I have seen many Africans who regret studying in the UK and many are now going to Canada, China, USA to study.

BeLookingIDIOT:
Isn't there a large Muslim presence in Edo north
Go and face your potopoto region ipob flying pig.
It's your states that will soon become emirates.

perdollar:
they wl remain the armpit of the SE

omenka:
Whether he did or didnt say it, one thing I'm sure about is that I'd support any candidate from the platform of the APC from South West in 2023, especially that anointed by Tinubu.

I'm also exceedingly sure I'd NEVER support any candidate put forward under the Evil Unbrella and Party of Tax Collectors.

God bless Nigeria and God bless Jagaban.