₦airaland Forum

Kwara state is practically on fire, many have lost their homes and businesses, Kwarans getting killed and kidnapped but see what the governor is after? Smh😢

Some misguided people may have many past sexual partners but have never cheated. Their are people with fewer past partners but have cheated more than once. The second group may likely cheat in marriage. But then, it's almost impossible to box humans into a box, sometimes, we surprise ourselves.

Brownlumi:
Does a very sexually experienced person have a higher chance of cheating in marriage than a sexually restrained/inexperienced person?

Short answer:

Yes — but not automatically, and not for the simplistic reason many people think.
Because the real issue is not merely:
“How many people has this person slept with?”

The deeper issue is:
“What kind of habits, beliefs, appetites, and emotional wiring has that sexual history built into the person?”

That’s the real question.

And this is where the conversation becomes very interesting.


---

Let’s break it down properly, the theory basically says:
“If someone has been highly sexually active with many people before marriage, won’t that make it harder for them to suddenly become sexually exclusive after marriage?”
That is a very reasonable thought because human beings are not robots.

You don’t spend years training one pattern of living and then expect marriage ring to suddenly perform miracle surgery on your instincts.

That’s not how people work.

If someone has spent years in a lifestyle of:
novelty, multiple partners, casual access, secret meetings, emotional detachment, thrill-based intimacy, low restraint, high sensual stimulation
…then yes: that person may carry those grooves into marriage.

That’s not “judgment.” That’s just how conditioning works.

Why past sexual behaviour can increase cheating risk

There are several reasons.

1) Habit formation: This is the biggest one. When someone repeatedly lives a certain way, it becomes normal to them. So if a person has lived by: “follow chemistry”, “if I feel like it, I do it” “I can separate body from commitment”, “private pleasure is not a big deal”…then marriage does not automatically erase those mental grooves.
This is why I believe:
Marriage does not create character. It reveals and tests it.
A wedding can give: structure, legitimacy, companionship, accountability. But it does not magically produce: discipline, integrity, restraint, self-governance. Those things must already be growing in the person.

2) Sexual novelty can become part of their appetite: This one is huge and people don’t talk about it honestly enough. Some people are not just attracted to sex itself, they become attached to: newness, variety, the chase, the forbidden, being desired by different people etc. That is a different beast entirely because now the issue is not:
“I need sex.”
It becomes:
“I need stimulation, novelty, validation, conquest, or excitement.”

And marriage, by design, is stable but novelty addiction feeds on: unpredictability, secrecy, new bodies, fresh emotional chemistry, ego validation. So yes:
someone heavily trained on novelty may struggle more with exclusivity.
That’s very real.

3) The person may have weakened their “internal brakes”: This one is psychological and spiritual. Every time someone crosses a line and keeps crossing it, one of two things happens. Either:
they feel conviction and turn back
Or
they normalize it. And once something becomes normalized, it stops feeling “serious.”
So if someone has repeatedly done: sneaky relationships, cheating, casual intimacy,
emotionally overlapping relationships,
…then over time their conscience can become less alarmed by those behaviours.
So yes, repeated sensual looseness can reduce moral sensitivity. That is a real thing.
And that matters more than people admit.

4) They may confuse desire with destiny
: Some people are trained by life to believe:
“If I feel strongly, it must be meaningful.”
That’s dangerous. Because in marriage, you will still meet very attractive people, emotionally interesting people, people who “get you,” people who spark chemistry.
If your whole pre-marital life trained you to treat chemistry as a green light, then yes, you may be more vulnerable to cheating.
Why?
Because marriage requires the ability to say:
“This feeling is real… but it is not a command.”

That is maturity. And not everyone has built it.
But now let me balance it, because this is where many people become too simplistic.
MEANWHILE...

Sexual history does NOT automatically mean the person will cheat
And this is very important because some people hear:
“Body count matters”
…and then jump to:
“Ah! Once she has a past, she can never be faithful.”
That’s nonsense.
Too simplistic.
Too online, and of course
Too Nairaland 😄

Because some very sexually active people genuinely change deeply.

And some sexually inexperienced or “innocent-looking” people still become terrible cheaters.

So the real issue is not merely:
“How much have they done?”
but
“Who have they become?”
That’s the deeper thing. A low sexual past does not automatically mean faithfulness. This is the part many men miss badly.
A person can be “novice” and still cheat later if they are: emotionally hungry, validation-starved, immature, entitled, resentful, easily influenced, thrill-seeking, conflict-avoidant, lacking self-control. So a low sexual history can lower certain risks… but it does not guarantee fidelity.
Why?
Because cheating is often not just about sex.
It is often about: ego, loneliness, fantasy, revenge, attention, resentment, boredom, emotional hunger, poor boundaries.
That’s why some people with “clean” histories still derail.
So What predicts cheating better than “body count” alone?
If you want to estimate whether someone is more likely to cheat, these are more useful questions than just:
“How many people have they slept with?”

1) How do they talk about boundaries? Do they think: “Nothing is wrong with harmless flirting”, “I can handle myself”, “It’s not cheating unless sex happens”, “My partner is insecure." That’s a red flag because cheating often starts long before physical action. It starts in permission structures.
2) How do they handle desire? Can they say:
“Yes, I’m attracted, but no.”
Or do they live by:
“If I feel it strongly enough, I should explore it.”
That difference is massive.
3) Do they have a history of secrecy? This one matters a lot. If someone is comfortable with hidden chats, backup lovers, coded communication, emotional double lives,
…that is a much stronger warning sign than “number of partners” alone.
4) Do they crave external validation? Some people are dangerously powered by being desired.If a person needs to constantly feel wanted, admired, chased, chosen,pursued,
…then marriage can feel “too normal” after a while and that person may become vulnerable to outside attention.
5) Have they actually repented / matured / changed? This is the big one. It's not: “They said they’ve changed.” but have they actually become different?
Signs of real change include: stronger boundaries, honesty, accountability, less appetite for chaos, less need for attention, more self-respect, more respect for covenant, less secretive behavior, more discipline. That is what matters not just “She said she’s not that person again.”
Words are cheap. Patterns are expensive.
To conclude,
Yes, a person with a long pattern of sexual looseness, multiple partners, and thrill-based intimacy may have a higher statistical and practical risk of cheating later in marriage but the reason is not mystical.
It is because they may have developed:
habits of novelty
weak restraint
normalized boundary crossing
high stimulation appetite
Comfort with secrecy
chemistry-driven decision making
That is what raises the risk.
But there’s a spiritual dimension too. From a spiritual and moral lens, repeated sensual disorder can do more than create habits.
It can also create:
desensitization, appetite disorder, attachment confusion, weakened conscience and what some would call bonding fragmentation.
Meaning: the person’s inner world becomes trained to separate body from covenant, pleasure from responsibility, and desire from discipline.
That’s not a small thing.

So yes:
there can be a moral-spiritual dulling effect if someone repeatedly lives in unrestrained sensuality.
That is very real.
But again — and this is important —
it is not irreversible.
Some people genuinely turn around.
But they must actually do the inner work. Marriage alone won’t do it for them. I rest my keyboard.

And he didn't answer care 😂

Well, it depends on the channel, but I know most platforms value experienced individuals. They want to see what you have done. The ones that will train and sharpen your skills won't pay much. But I have seen presenters grow from a 50k salary to national TV stations. If you can, find a TV/radio station where you can do some volunteer work. Most importantly, don't be afraid to start small. There are online TVs you can explore too.

Love800:
Wow.

Astonishing.

My last question.
Do you have an idea of how I can get a presenter job in a radio/television news channel?

Love800:
Hello.
Goodevening.

I want to know.
What are the other things involve in mass communication?

I would love to know dem. And i want to be a presenter as my career.

Public relations
Advertising and marketing
Book publishing
Some insistituitions offers courses in movie productions and screenwriting.
And In this age of digital media, there are many more opportunities.

Buy this. You people would recharge and allocate units to each person's. You consume what you pay for.

The question is, does Tim consider himself a minister? If yes, what did Jesus do before sending out His disciples? Did He pick up people (non followers) and make them minister alongside with him first? I'm tired of hearing 'judge not'. No one is judging, but keep sacred things sacred. From Nara with Travis to this?

Pregnancy cramp should not affect your own sexual needs? Lord have mercy!

Esthered:
How was she supposed to speak as the only lady with a group of men?

*while bowing her head* My Lords, I vehemently disagree with the points you raised, let me start by thanking you for the opportunity to speak among your 'highnesses', I do not take it for granted. Thank you sirs. Now, to the points my Lords...

Kwara state used to be one of the most peaceful states in Nigeria. So sad

AmalaAtiEwedu:
🥹 In that case, I can only tell u to put a hand full of freshly plucked Ewedu inside a pot (make sure u don't wash it) add little water, allow it to boil for 20 minutes then on th 27 th minute, add 2 cubes of Maggi, 10 Table spoons full of cayenne pepper, 5 tablespoons of Red Oil, one teaspoon of salt (or salt to taste).
lower the heat, stir and beat the Ewedu like ur life depends on it (Eg IPOB, Boko Haram, Isis or Fulani herdsmen are after u). let it simmer until the 31 th minute.
Now u can turn off the heat.

Serve the Ewedu with Akpu (Since this type is not deserving to be served with Amala)

Happy New Year (2025) my darling

With all due respect, you no well
Happy new year

AmalaAtiEwedu:
For me to tell u, u must agree to this terms from deep within ur heart 🥺
1 u must love God and accept Jesus Christ to be ur personal lord and savior.

2 u must agree that Amala combined with Ewedu soup is the best meal that has ever existed

3 u must agree that Tinubu will be president until 2031

4 u must agree to vote Tinubu in 2027 to avert the calamity called Peter Obi and reinforce the prophecy of God of Tinubu for Nigeria

5...
Let me stop there
DO U AGREE ?

That your number? I ain't a Tinubu fan and I doubt I will be voting too. So?

AmalaAtiEwedu:
Are you interested in my cookbook?
I have several methods of preparing it.
about 12

Tell me about it

DisLifeSha:
I learnt that living with an illness like Type 1 Diabetiesvia the worst thing if you're a Nigerian and from a poor family and bo siblings

You are healed in Jesus name. May you fi d comfort and light

AmalaAtiEwedu:

1. I learnt more of different ways of preparing Ewedu to be sweet and nutritious
2. I learnt that Tinubu will rule until 2031
3. I also learnt that Peter Obi will never be president of Nigeria (Except online) in his lifetime

This I have learnt

Explain the ewedu part please. What are the steps?

tivta:
Nigerian law stipulates that rent must not be increased by over 50percent in a year.
The tenants have a right to sue.

Really? I'm sure a lot of landlords and tenants don't know this. I got a 100% increment and without a notice too. Same time my rent expired

The agreement was very silly to begin with, guess that's what desperation will do to people.
Apart from an opportunity to leave Nigeria, she was expected to help offset over 18k school fees while sustaining herself and building her future, all for a man that was neither related nor married to her? Likeeee, that's so silly. I'd still condemn her breach of contract but that guy was also a user.

Actually, when you want to read out figures, it is so easy to stumble, reason broadcast news writers write out the figures in letters, instead of numbers. This is so embarrassing. Didn't he read the document at all before presenting it? Like, what is this?

Kukutente23:
The thing has fallen back

APC is a useless party

They've destroyed the naira

How much is it today?

Not going abroad is not the problem, but there are things you mentioned that make you sound unserious. Graduated 2 years ago, you don't have a job, which is not a big deal, na naija we dey. But your unemployed ass managed to get a woman pregnant. Got an opportunity to travel to UK sponsored by family, but your mind is not ready cause you don't want to leave your friends here. You sound like a 21 year old.
Ain't judging you, but i really feel you ain't living the life of a man yet, you seem to be stuck in the boyhood phase.

Exactly. Very patient in gaining entrance into these countries, helping others to get in, giving birth to as many kids as they can while they silently grow in number. I really fear for western nations sha

Angelfrost:
Those people are very patient... They are like Cancer!

That's why nations like Japan, China, Parts of Europe, etc, are beginning to wake up and curtail them.

Give them a spot, and they will take over the entire house!

If we'd consider how long it took to plan this, to plan leaving their own countries enmass to foreign land to demand sharia and/or jihad, we'd be scared.

You have a wife, you are not sex starved, same cannot be said about people without a spouse.

Emma09:
Mtcheeeewwww. Masturbation and watching of porn is a thing of the mind. I actually watched the video and I didn't masturbate. I had quit masturbation for almost 3yrs now and it stays like that. In as much I have my wife that I have access to for sex, Y would I go back to masturbation after almost 3yrs of quitting it just because I watched a leaked sex tape. I just made my mind strong after watching it and told myself I would never watch the video again. Me wey no even like to dey have porn video on my phone. I just see it irritating and irresponsible. So those that went back to masturbate after watching the sex tape, na dem Sabi. Lolzzzzz

7? O Wrong nau, it should be only unborn babies.

Killing em gives me joy 😂😂😂

This is so childish, so pedestrian. What are they? 16?

Op, tell her no, you are not comfortable with such arrangements. If she throws tantrum? It's normal, she will get over it, if she doesn't, you don't have a woman yet.

Natbrowny:
Here you go Chief (if u no be slow guy oo)

Tell her that her feeding, including the 3 gals will be on her...

And u won't be around till after 5days, but u'll drop keys for them to provide shelter. If she agrees - which i knw she wont)

Pack out all ur food and what not. Dont drop a dime even if she ask.. If u have cable TV, remove decoder asap, anything valuable to them even in ur absence. Swarve everything. Follow one of ur homeboi discuss ur plans 10%, (homeboi wey sharp, wey fit allow u stay 2days at all at all

Watch how things will unfold. And see the person u r calling a girlfriend, u'll see a new definition of entitled, lazy ass mo'f*cker.

It is not even making sense anymore. It's almost like there is nothing CBN could do, interventions not even working again

Watch them rush out to blame the lady

Your wife seems to be manipulative and stubborn, you may need to address this after the ceremony, let her know you are not happy with her.
But there is always a problem with you. Twice you mentioned what your family wanted. Your family want their pastor to officiate naming ceremony, your family made you guys do thanksgiving in their own church. Feels like you didn't care much about these things till your family members step in. You need to be careful, don't allow your family member live their lives through you.

This is so sad, but this is life. May God be with the baby and the rest of the family. So sad

Badexx:
Always trying to sound smart and civilised but keep deceiving yourself with your illusions. Why do men sweat through their anus to pay exorbitant pride price then?

Lol. Y'all won't get tired of this bride price thingy? In nations where women used to pay dowry, were women treated better? There are places with very cheap bride price in Nigeria, does that mean these husband doesn't 'own' their wives?
How much do you think you can pay to own another human? Does that mean a random person can buy and own you too like a slave?

general111:
Thats because you signed from nigeria and nigeria was not eligible.
Hopefully,it will come out of preenroll before the end of this year.

Chai! Before the end of the year? Omoh! 😂😂
I'll always choose youtube 😂