₦airaland Forum

Orton1_0:
I fink He likes you.
@Ola, this is your chance bro, tell her now!

I think I like her too!

She now has to pick betweem me and oga Dayokanu!

Wish me luck

Ileke holla at your boy!

^^^^

back in NJ!

I acnt wait for Ileke and Blazay to clash on this thread

eku_bear:
It is fine to ban hugging, b[b]ut not to use religion as the basis [/b]for the ban in a public institution.

And it goes w/o saying that blaming this wrong decision of the school on IBB makes no sense.

Under a federalist system, they would be able to!

Shy-One:
@ fstranger6
Also AA have very little luck, haven't you heard?   We have to work much harder than most to get the "little" that we have.

You can believe what you want to believe, that is your prerogative. There is an adage that says that someone who has never been to someone else's farm thinks his father's farm in the biggest. A lot of people come here with nothing and achieve more than the so called 'hard workers.' The hardest working people I know are Asians, followed by Whites, Africans and the rest. That does not mean that there arent individual AAs that work their butt off. There are and i have nothing but respect for those AAs on whose back and hardwork I currently thrive in this godforsaken country. That said, the notion that others get things easy and that only AAs workhard is just erroneous and defeatist, 

As far as thinking that I am better than most of the world - I only focus on my world.

Good for you. keep running your own race. I am doing same as well.

For your information - I edit and proof Doctoral Thesis for Graduation for 4 different Universities in the Washington DC area of the U.S. and 2 different Universities in the New York area of the U.S.

Glad you brought that up. You have mentioned this so many times as if it were a big achievement. The truth is that those who can, do. Those who can't, teach/proof read. And that is what you are doing. English is your first and probably only language. If after speaking it for so many years, you are not an expert in it, then you do not deserve to be alive. Have you heard of Wole Soyinka, The first Black person to be awarded a Nobel prize in real stuff, not the stupit peace prize that some people i would not mention brandish around. Wole Soyinka's first language is Yoruba, and he does not speak the language when in company of close friends; yet he won a Nobel. And Wole Soyinks speaks more than two languages. You here my friend, with your education and medium of communication being, solely, in English language , are not close to winning a Nobel prize. Shouldnt you be ashamed of yourself that all you could do with your education is edit doctoral thesis for people who will eventually become your boss and prolly earn more than you will ever see in your life. Again, you cant see beyond you current level and you seem to have both defeatist attitude and slave mentality. You have very little and somehow you cant see beyond that.

So please don't compare your education to mine - we don't need to get into a "whose balls are bigger contest" ok?  So you might want to walk your words back.  I am not trying to intimidate nor threaten you or put anybody down.

Please do. You spent five years in college and what did you major in? I majored in one of the hardcore sciences, I doubt you could ever wrap your mind around things that come easily to me.

I just know that with my education level - I could in no way marry someone who cannot read or write.  That's all.  I was answering the poster who is also educated - not trying to put down Nigerian people as you "jumped" to the conclusion.  Just being honest.

The white man who gave you the education is not as rigid in thinking as you are. Richard Feynmann, one of the smartest man on earth married an illiterate. You my friend would never be as great as him, yet you seem too arrogant for yourself.

"Evenly Yoked" = a life with little crisis

If you marry someone who isn't similar and they don't "value" what you value - especially in the areas of the "basics" - that marriage is doomed from the outset.

Nigerian marriages arent based on trivialities and superficial stuff like education/ literacy level. It may be true in your case. But In the Op's case, and looking at the numerous examples I have at my disposal, the marriage would prolly thrive if they focus  less on the artificialities you cherish and focus more on things that really matter.

Again - to the Poster - see if she is interested in obtaining her "basics."  Also, what are your plans for your future with your education?  Do you need a wife who might be a public speaker or who might travel with you to other countries?  If so, she needs to read and write.  Will you be able to proudly introduce her in your circles?  Do you plan on staying in Nigeria for the rest of your life?  If you move to another country will her ability to read and write hinder her, you and your future children

Very very wrong assumption
The kids would be fine

Inability to write is not a disease. People understand. English language is not her language and it would be stupiy for anyone to expect her to be fluent in it. Just as how I wouldnt expect Obama to understand any of the more than 250 languages in Nigeria.

@ poster - In order to defend his position - fStranger6 is making alot of assumptions - as though your girlfriend/future wife won't ever be in the position to leave Nigeria - you are an educated man and you sound as if you are positioning yourself for "bigger things in life"  which means that his assumption could very well be wrong - you might travel with her outside of Nigeria - if you do - she will be in for a very RUDE AWAKENING.

Why dont you shed your toga of arrogance for once. Bigger things do not necessarily mean travelling to America, the OP and his wife could achieve greatness without leaving the shores of Nigeria. Again, you seem ignorant about Nigeria and it would do you a lot of good if you limited your opinion to things pertaining to America.

Things are things you need to think about and hopefully all of the posts that you have read will assist you.

I wish you a great day.

Open your mind.

Shy-One:
Why should she want less or reach for less because she lives in Nigeria?

Again, Education does not make a person.
You have to put this into context
The OP is talking about her inability to write in English language, that does not make her inferior or substandard to those that can
In Nigeria, we have our own language, and many an individual, who are illiterate with respect to the English language, are actually literate in their local languages. Mikhail Gorbachev can neither read nor write in English, and despite that, he went on to become the president of his country and a famous world leader.

My point is that as long as she is functional in Nigeria, the OP should cares less about her ability or lack there of to write in the Queen's language.

You seem to have a narrow POV, looknig at everything from your 'vantage' point as an American. I, as well as Inked, have seen the two sides and we understand more than anything that it is no big deal. And her inability to write in English language should not be counted against her, and definitely she should not be jugded by that as well. Even the White people that own the language do not take a stand as rigid as yours.

It reminds me of my undergrad days. There was this grad student from Taiwan who could barely speak the English language, reads scientific articles with a dictionary by his side. I had a personal conversation with his preceptor, because i needed him to write me a reference letter, and he confided in me that despite his inability to speak English, he still regarded him highly , far and above, a lot of Americans who speak impeccable English. What matters, i was made to understand, is his attitude and willingness to work hard

What am i getting at: English language is not Nigeria;s language. There are two lingua francas in Nigeria, French and English language, not to talk of the more than 200 local languages spoken in the country. As long as she lives in Nigeria, her ability to write in English language is a moot case. It says nothing about her worth and it says nothing about her drive, and obviously it says nothing about are eligibility for marriage.

In my household, we dont speak English, and as matter of fact, it is somewhat forbidden, yet we all are very educated. When I am ready for marriage, communication would prolly be strictly in my local language and why should i care if she ( my wife) speaks or is able to write in English language.

your inability to put in into context in worrisome, somehow you expect every one to speak English and anyone not showing interest in English language is somehow inferior and damaged.    .   .  I find your line of reasoning very primitive and ridiculous.

^^^^

SHE IS IN NIGERIA, NOT IN THE US


STOP GENERALIZING!

Shy-One:
ohhh ok

thank you

no disrespect meant AT ALL

you are correct, I surely DO NOT KNOW

your taking your time to tell me - I am very grateful
I have just learned something thanks to you
------------------------------------
so said, let me rephrase, this is 2011

you can go into 2012, 2013, 2014 with the same statistics
you can marry someone who is illiterate and point at the surrounding population to offset your decision

or you can w/o emotion or judgment, marry someone who has lifted themself away from the surrounding population and educated themself to be able to 'at least' read and write

that decision and action and drive - will be passed from their hands to the hands of your offspring that you have together - because your future wife won't be content to remain illiterate like the surrounding populace

she will want to read and write and she will want your children to do the same and she won't allow the 'normal statistics' to be their future

that is the kind of woman you want - TRUST ME

Again, provide her with an opportunity to learn - if she runs towards it with eagerness - GET SERIOUS ABOUT HER FOR A FUTURE MARRIAGE

If she shows little interest - there are plenty of uneducated men out there who will marry her

You have a masters degree - which points out the interest you have in education

how do you require your children to go to school and your spouse can't even read and write?  Your children will look at you like a hypocrite - "dad you must be kidding, we have to go to school but mom can't read and write?"

don't marry her because she needs a husband, before she needed a husband, she first needs to feel the importance of being an active participant in her own destiny.  

If she were in a building that was on fire - she wouldn't be able to read the "exit" signs

How does she know what bathroom to use in a public facility that read "men" or "women" - unless it has the figurines posted?

She can't read a menu at a restaurant, she can't read a prayer in Sunday School, she can't drive in the U.S. because she can't train herself to pass the driver's test or realize what the signs on the side of the road mean.  She can't write a check to pay a bill in your absence [which might be a good thing - no pun intended].

But really, you know where I am going with this.  If she doesn't show interest move on - you will tire of her and it won't take too long because you are educated and you enjoy the rigorous, the challenging, and the interesting.  Her beauty will wane and fade and even quicker in your eyes once the newness of the relationship wears off.

She either learns to read or write or you need to move on.  You are educated - you have reached higher, you want more out of life - your relationship will last once you have a woman who wants more out of life as well.  If she doesn't more.  I would fondly, but politely, good - bye, bid her adieu.

I'm in the U.S. and I could grab right now today on any corner a very handsome, delightful, humorous, well-mannered uneducated, unemployed individual as well - but I know that I would be COMPLETELY miserable.

I really do not know what to make of your drivel
To me you came across, for lack of better words, the typical lucky AA; a little education and you think you are as good as the rest of the world

Again, this is Nigeria. people's worth are not measured by their educational attainment.
My parents are both educated and i never needed them to help with my homework, and here I am about to finish my doctorate degree in the good 'ol USA. Despite coming from a disadvantaged background, I am more educated than you, who have lived in the US all your life, no offense.

My grandfather was a stark illiterate, yet my father was well educated, completed his MBA at the best university in Nigeria.
Again, interest in education/literacy level is not a good gauging tool of someones,s character, intellect or worth.

You cannot look at the world as black and white. Even if she does not show interest/willingness to learn how to write, it still should not be counted against her.
Again, this is Nigeria, I have seen countless situations like this and it absolutely means nothing .
About your fire analogy: Nigerian houses do not have signs like that, and even if there were, you dont need to know how to write for that, all you need is luck and common sense.

Again, even if she cant drive in the US, who cares, she is in Nigeria. And even that is a very stupit analogy: My uncle's wife is a stark illiterate, and yet, she lives in the US and drives fine, with no hassle.


Look, please for godsake, desist from commenting on issues like this, you make me sick honestly! Limit your input to the racism/tribalism section, you are better off in that department

^^^

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Tpiah's punny by force

O ga oo

O di kwa risky egbon!

Shy-One:
I don't know - I guess what I am trying to say and I don't feel like I am doing a very good job saying it - is that "for her to have lived to this point and she cannot read or write" why does that even exist?

Why hasn't she on her own done something about that?

Is there no one in her family [if her family could not afford to send her to school] that she could have persistently hounded who could have taught her?

A neighbor, a pastor?  Someone?

If a person wants something bad enough they get it, even if they have to steal it.

If I were you, I would present her with an opportunity to read and write and see how long it takes her to "jump on that opportunity" or watch to see if she drags her feet or gives excuses, etc.

That will tell you "why" she is still illiterate - if she drags her feet, don't make excuses for her - just look for another pretty face to replace her.

What are you saying
Just because you had an education, you regard all uneducated people as inferior?

What if she doesnt wanna learn, so what?
Again, this is Nigeria, may be you'd do better if you kept your opinions to everything America

My grand parents were un-educated,cant speak nor write, but they were excellent human beings
Again, western education is what it is , western. It is totally unafrican

Inability to write doesnt make someone less human.  
Despite your education, your still not as smart as a lot of drop outs; in all respects, Steve jobs and Bill gates are way better than you, innit iit?
Moreover, she is African, with probably zero interest to live elsewhere, why should she bother to learn the language.
She has gotten by so far.
I bet ya she has more common sense than you.

Your post infuriates me, and I really would wish you limit your posts to things you understand. You come across as ignorant when you venture into unfamiliar territories.

Shy-One:
I wouldn't marry her

It is bigger than "she can't read or write"

There is an entirely new WORLD and THOUGHT PROCESS that she lacks - that would be a major turn off for me.  

IF she can't read or write - what can she teach to any offspring?  Why can't she read or write?  Is she a little girl or a woman?  If she is a woman - there are way bigger problems ahead that you can't see yet.

Date her longer before you marry - they will come to the light

You need to see more of her first. Does she have a learning disability that she will pass to your offspring?  Why can't she read or write?

How many people in her family can't read or write?  Are her siblings and parents illiterate as well?  These people will be grandparents and aunts and uncles to your children if she gives birth.

It isn't just that she can't read or write - it is that she is from a "lifestyle" of ignorance which means you expose yourself and your children to the backlash of that environment that she brings into "your home."

I don't know if you even understand what I mean - I am not trying to offend at all or put anyone down - but realize that for her to be an adult and she doesn't read or write - that is a "major problem."

However, I wish you luck and God speed in all that you choose for your life.

This is Nigeria, not America
A little compassion
Some one has to marry her
And she deserves to have a good life as well
The same situation happened to someone I know, an uncle to be precise

Life, especially in Nigeria is hard
She is not an exception, as a matter of fact she is the norm.
There are no safety nets, beyond your immediate family, like you have in America
In college, I had pell grants, even though i wasnt a citizen; in Nigeria, nothing like that.

So I think your advice is a little harsh, disrespectful, and unhelpful
Inked gave him the best advice possible
Educational attainment/literacy level is not a fair way to gauge someone's intellect or worth, not in Nigeria, may  be in America, but definitely not in Nigeria.

Sup madam kobo?

sunny204:
wats d problem mrs eve?, arrrghhh its so frustratin dat i can't reply 2 messages individually.
Btw who's jaybee?

A london based gbomo gbomo!

^^^

what about ileke and oyinda?

tjskii:
hmm i like em talll and huge,love aving to tip my head to the side to look em in the eyes,also enjoy it when we hold hands, and my palms are swallowed up by his superhuge palms,ooohhh*hugs self in anticipation*

^^^

Good for you
Just dont ever annoy him

If you do; he would easily kill you
You got to take the good with the bad!

^^^
Did you just learn the noun 'precedence?'

You keep repeating the word like itz going out of fashion

Anyway, in the context in which you are using it, the right word is "precedent," not precedence.

So its gbomo gbomo Ok oo

Goodluck!

^^^

If only you had real friends and proud of your people

You wouldnt be on NL!

Sucks for you!

Oga dayokanu

The will is online with Gani's

Other than the four recognized wives, he never called any of the other concubines his wife

Having borne one or two children for him does not necessarily elevate them to the wifey status.

And Nigerian newspapers are not that reliable, I cant believe anything that is written in  Nigerian newspapers, not even Guardian. Too much hearsays, very little factual reporting.

Blazay:
Please, Abiola had only 4 wives and 19 concubines, 15 ECOMOG  basstards. . . one "manliness Cheney or freewilly" o!
What killed him again?

We hear he even convered to Islam JUST to get those 4 wives. . . then could not have any other religion since the maximum was 4 by the Islamic tradition. Rumor even had it that he was gonna open a Mormon compound somewhere in Ijesha before divine intervention.

Oturugbeke O!

Not sure of what to make of that!

^^^

She wants to hang out with Nigerians, and what better way to find them


Who cares if there are other mofos from other countries in London.

She wants her people!

^^^

Is she anywhere as pretty as you?

Like OBJ said on hardtalk, anyone can make an allegation

Any evidence to that effect

He had a lot of concubines, but ONLY 4 WIVES.

Abiola is a Muslim; a Muslim can only marry 4 wives!

^^^

Abiola did not marry a foreign wife

As a Muslim, he could only marry 4 wives.

He did phucc a lot of foreigners, like yours truly. Foreign puccy rocks!

Following common tradition, Abiola took four wives; Simibiat Atinuke Shoaga in 1960, Kudirat Olayinki Adeyemi in 1973, Adebisi Olawunmi Oshin in 1974, and Doyinsola (Doyin) Abiola Aboaba in 1981. He is said to have fathered over 40 children from these four marriages. Abiola's second wife, Kudirat, was murdered in the capital city of Lagos in 1996. There was speculation that her death was caused by the military, but no proof was ever found. His third wife, Doyin, ran a newspaper chain he owned until it was closed by the government. In 1992, Abiola was ordered to pay $20,000 a month in child support to a woman who claimed to be his wife. His lawyers argued in a New Jersey court that Abiola had only four wives; this woman was just one of his 19 concubines.

Yahoo yahooo or gbomo gbomo

Which one?

We can have a foursome
You and Shy one on the one hand; Mrs. Blazay and I on the other hand!

Deal?

I live in NJ, ready to fly at short notice.

Blazay:
No wonder Jamilah preferred to be a fourth wife and converted to "Chrislam"!

With people like these. . . I applaud Miram Babangidda, Titi and Jamillah Atiku for fleeing across state lines for men who would treat them better.
Not as if there are enough "Ojukwus" to go around in the Eastern parts of Nigeria o.
Can't understand what the fuss is all about.
Village peeps!
It is better to marry a Sharia man than some of these so called 'Village Christians' still worshipping idols.
We ain't talking "American Idols" either.

Tchweeeeeeeeeee!!!

Whatz up with the Viagra bottle beside the food in your profile pic?

You never fail to amuse me with your idiotic defenses!