₦airaland Forum

This guy is better off without your help, sir! Who do you think you are? I hate judgemental people like you. Lubbish!!!

GenBuhari:
You have avoided answering the question.

My friend you should stop asking people for money if you are unwilling to reveal your political leanings.

To me, the fact that you are willing to collect money from people by hiding an aspect of yourself means you are devious disloyal and unprincipled.

It is the same character flaw, that landed you in the mess you in are today.


Imagine that a person was kind enough to employ in his very (one-man) small business, and you repaid his kindness with betrayal by using his office to run a business that is a direct competitor to your employer.

So the fact you got found out and dismissed is your own doing.

I hope you learn from this experience and learn to be more honest and loyal, especially with people who are showing you kindness.

SAMBARRY:
mickey mouse for where. If I change it to other cartoon i no go hear word for house again so because of her I always pay for the subscription immediately once it's expired. A pack of ribena, teddy bear by her side and biscuit is all I need to give her while watching cartoon. so I can do other things if not na scatter scatter she go dey scatter the house

Wura must be my baby's twin! If it's not Barney, it's nothing else o! I have tried to make her like other cartoons like Mickey mouse but she's just not interested.

SAMBARRY:
Let them watch cartoon for a minimum of 2hrs per day o jare. Wuras favourite cartoon is Barney. When they start singing it i just leave the tv for her but then I notice once she watches it and gets Carried away na sleep be the next thing

My dear, very interesting meeting o! I don laugh tire.

urchbarbie:
u guys r just funny men. its going to be a very interesting meeting i must confess

Hmmmmm... More like it!

romzyxy:
lol.......nt is fault he took indian hemp.

;Dhahahahahaha. Very funny! Thanks for the comic relief.

soulglo:
We are gathered here today to discuss emm, emmm. Okay before we start let us pray

:DI can't stop laughing @ this comment. The guy must be high on something very strong to have suggested such a thing. I'm trying really hard to imagine how the dIscussion would start.

soulglo:
So the mother should sit down and start discussing her daughter's vagina with her son in law. Get the Bleep outta hia with this nonsense

Take heart, ma. May God comfort you.

Ok. Noted!

From your posts, you really want to settle with your wife but it seems the mum is the only obstacle in your way. Are you financially bouyant to get them an accomodation else where? At least, so you can have access to your daughter as often as possible? Has your wife made any attempt to get back to her home since the seperation?

pogolowa1:
Thank you so much for your comment. How can I ever go and see my daughter in her parents house when the mother insulted me when I told her my decision. She said her daughter is a bone on my neck. Said so many ill things that I just can't face her again. The problem is her mother but she has refused to cut from the root. This is my position havnt seeing my daughter for 3 months now.

So two years is long enough to resolve all marital issues, right? How sure are you this op is even telling us the truth? He is the saint while his wife is a complete demon, yet he married her? Hmmmm.... Behind every unusually 'stubborn' wife, there is a man always wanting things done his own way without putting his wife into consideration. There are things BOTH of them are doing wrongly, it can't just be the wife. I asked the op some specific questions but he wisely ignored them. When there is a marital crisis, both parties can go to any length to paint the other BLACK in order to justify what they did or are doing.

mikeywise:
How come they didn't resolve things for 2 years while they were together?

How will they resolve their problems staying far from themselves? Can you tell the op a way forward instead of jumping at my post for no reason

mikeywise:
so u want the op to kill her? I think she should remain there for now until they are able to resolve their problems.

Truth is, there's no way she can be loyal to you while at her parents' place. If you must work things out, it has to be in your house. Btw, how long do you intend to keep her at her parents' place? If your mind is made up on not continuing with the marriage, why not get a divorce so both of you can be free to carry on with your lives instead of tying one another down?

pogolowa1:
We can only work things out if she has the heart of accepting her faults. My family are divided in between my lawyer sister said worst we should divorce while the rest are wondring what kind of heart and family she has.

Both of you can still work things out. What does your family think about all these? Let her leave her parents' house ASAP. Stay together and resolve your issues. Don't worry, this is nothing compared to what some people have been through and came out stronger. All the best.

pogolowa1:
Yes its making her more sturbborn. Bought my baby food she rejected it just last week. Said I sent them late. The thing is that we nigerians don't belive in shrinks the only thing pple think about its marine spirits.
Most times I just wonder why I had to go down this lanen why it ought to be me at all.
Even the dad is aking me to manage his daughter how can I do dat for the rest of my life. For the beating thing I last laid my hands on her last year. Not that I regularly beat her I learnt that if I always beat her that shows am emotionaly weak so I avoid her a lot.

Pls, for how long has she been away? Don't you think her staying @ her parents' place would make her even more stubborn? I hope you didn't tell her parents you are no longer interested in the marriage. Get your wife back and groom her to be what you want, sir. If not for any thing, for your beautiful daughter's sake. I hope the matter has not gotten to an irredeemable stage.

pogolowa1:
With all those characters she constantly put up told the parents that she needed to change her attitude. And I felt if we give our self a break we could have time to think it through.
After work I hangout late just to ensure I spend a lot of time alone before I go home and face angry wife. Force my self to drink so I could sleep without thinking much.

Pls, can you tell us why you sent her to her parent's house? I'm asking because I don't see any of the things you listed as enough reason to send your wife packing or maybe your family and friends adviced you to do so?

Guys are not smiling @ all.

jmoore:
I will forgive and divorce her.

They made so much money out of him already. I learnt he gave them a total of ten million 4 the building yet, it was not completed. The mum actually told him that the money he released was enough for a village building. Not like they don't own a house in the villa o! They specifically asked him to build that for the burial. Which kain wickedness be that na

drnoel:
My broda those villagers are so unreasonable. Am sure some of them are hoping to make money on 2faces familiy's expense.

Op's sister should sort her marital issues herself. Simple!

Splendblex:
Yea,some might think you re even jealous because you wanna help.Only God will help us o

Far from what you think, dear. Some men feel it's their birth right to treat their wives the way they like but extending his babaric behaviour to an in law is what I don't understand. I blame the op's sister more because she should be old enough to know what's good for her. Supposing op wasn't there that day nko?

Phema:
Say What?!? If I hear am!

My dear, my mum also told me to apologise but I refused. Since then, I avoid their house because I can't be there and see certain things and ignore. But I learnt that husband and wife will always settle themselves and your relationship with them will never ever be the same again.

Splendblex:
@Fynbabe, I understand what you're trying to say but eh forget that o.Op shouldn't apologise for anything jare. if the man had killed her sister wouldn't it still cause issues?
Nawa for the sister sef, five children ontop all the beatings.

I can see there's something wrong with you. What else did you expect me to tell the op when the mum already told him/her to apologise? Do you know whether it is already causing issues in the family? Some of you respond to posts without thinking first. I have been a victim myself. Up till today, my very close relative is not in good terms with me because I intervened in an issue between she and her hubby while I was staying with them during NYSC. It still breaks my heart that the same person I was siding with is carrying face for me after many years, claiming that I was rude to her hubby. I learnt the hard way to stay away from husband/wife issues. I don't care what you think though.

soonest:
Hmmh! Wonders will never end! Now i believe some women like being beaten

Can't you read?

soonest:
What are you saying

Maybe you should do like your mum suggested. All the best.

pepsyoku:
no, ne is not responsible for my upkeep, for like a year now I have not gone to his house. Just that my mum told me to beg him so that he will forgive me but I don't want to and the man sef is keeping face for me.

Must you go to his house? Is he responsible for your upkeep? Can't you do without him? So many questions, jare! Let's say he had the right to beat your sister because they are married but you nko? Abegi, leave matter for mattais.

@ topic, my own pain used to be out of this world. Chai! The pain actually begins like two days before the main thing comes. I lie down in bed rolling from one end to the other holding my tommy and sighing from time to time, complete loss of appetite and lots more. The good news is, I no longer experience it after the birth of my baby.

This is for the men! Nice one, op.

Obviously, that is a life of bondage. Why should any one remain committed to such a spouse? That spouse must have been sent from the pit of hell to destroy the destiny of the other spouse. The wait is not worth it.

I don laugh tire.

chii8:
Mtcheeeew,some men shaa,ur wife is using pills n u nw want divorce?....

Ur last child is barely two n u want anoda child,na ur type dey leave wife for hosiptal if the third one is also a girl.

Na only u waka com abi?

There's no need lying. Let him also do the buying some times or go with you for shopping.

ijeoma2728:
As in ehh nd dey will be calling tiny me madam .I ve a smallie wahala.i hate lying to hubby abt anything. U no how kids quality stuff re expensive nd its also d same price with adult wears.each tym I get something 4 our son, I'm always reducing d price cos I don't ve strength to start explaining how kids stuffs re costly bla bla bla.pls how do I stop it cos I really feel very guilty.

Hispinkolo has said it all. Try some of the things she said and let's see how it goes. All the best.

goodheart4God:
That is what I am doing now but I feel it won't help the marriage as I get to resent him sometimes for not really understanding the way I feel. Yet if I chat with any female friend and clears it. He will almost threaten to break my phone. I can't talk to him again as I have talked for several years but just making him more discreet.

Just looking for ways I can love him no more or love him less. Years of agony. If it isn't Grace today it will be miracle tomorrow. Some of these women have span for more years I have known him.

You have done everything and there's still no change? My dear, you no go comot mind make you get rest of mind! (That is, if you are sure he doesn't sleep with them o). Maybe there's really nothing to worry about like he said. I know its difficult to just ignore him while he carries on but what else can you do? Maybe you should still talk to him about it. I don't even know what else to say but I think taking your mind off it will do you a lot of good. Na wa o! Make person no come die on top husband matter abeg.

goodheart4God:
Hello my beloved. I have been a keen follower of this thread from page1 till now. I have somethings bothering me about my hubby. I have found a way to deal with it but I still find it depressing some times.

My hubby is a very friendly person, every where he goes he makes a lot of friends both male and female. My problem is that he doesn't know when to draw the line between this women. He can turn a career counsellor, relationship counsellor, etc. So when he spends time with this women by either calls or chats or physically seeing. This women gets to fall in love and he doesn't know how to tell them off. Cos I feel his nature is that he doesn't want to hurt them. So he rather hurts me than telling them off. Money exchanges hand between this women, recharged cards are sent. I have repeatedly talked to him about all these. But he makes me feel as if I don't want him to keep friends. So he resorted to deleting their call logs and chat logs now.

I feel depressed when I see these things and is like there is no change in sight. He doesn't believe my school of thought that close female friends and ex should be left behind. He believes that once friends are always friends. I love him but this his attitude is making me to kill every form of feelings for him cos I don't want to be hurt anymore. This is affecting my feelings towards sex with him as I get to fantasize about the relationship I had before I married him when making love to him.

He was like this when we were dating but people kept saying that he will change when we are married. During marriage now, he has become discreet about it. No one should even suggest communication cos I have done my best but he seems to think that I want to control him. So I am not talking about it again but I am dying in silence.