₦airaland Forum

Don't mind them. When it happens, e go be like film trick.

Sophyrocks:
Let them keep being in denial while women cheat on them. E go be like nollywood movie for their eye.

Please, don't kill me with your hilarious posts o! I hear you .

coogar:
https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma7tdgsMS11rc4ikio1_500.gif



because we men are not fools!
we know the importance of finance in relationships. no romance without finance especially when dealing with the hypergamous nigerian women.

behind every successful man, there's a woman - that's because women always chase successful men. there's even a research out there that says women enjoy sex more of her partner is rich/successful.

Na wa for you o! For your mind, everything is about money abi? The op raised an issue of concern and all you can think about is how her fiance is not sharing bills with her. You just confirmed with this post of yours that the guys here are right afterall, I thought they were just having fun when they said money comes top on the priority of most women.

Amelian:
correct babe, pickabeau.
op, if uv had the opportunity to date a BROKE guy or Stingy Guy. ... u wont even ask anybody, whether dis one, u have is a husband material or not...u will grab him and guard him jealously with everything u av... he spends on you, financially without splitting bills with you, u r there having second thots....
let other ladies or some married women tell u what they are going through with their husband... u will shout halleluyah, with your own man.

u still young... 24? .....not much experience with guys... my dear, erase 2nd thots and be grateful he takes care of his responsibility without asking u for a penny.

happy married life in advance.... be wise... marriage is not Mills and Boons

Money is not the top priority for most women in a relationship. I don't understand why most guys find it difficult to believe.

BABE3:
Guys, listen to this nonsense at your own peril....
Chris brown don talk am finish

"When a rich nigga want you
and your nigga can't do nothing for you
these hoês ain't loyal"

most women will rather have a rich and cheating husband than a broke and faithful one that showers them with attention.

why did OP say yes knowing "attention" was a major problem? Answer on a big placard pls... anyone

All I'm saying is that there should be a balance between the two.

pickabeau1:
My dear..have u dated a broke dude before

Guys, please do not ignore your wife/girlfriend deliberately o! This is how it starts and madam will begin to eye your male domestic staff in your absence. Pickabeau1, I laugh in swahili . I repeat, no woman loves money more than attention!

pickabeau1:
Corrected

Don't mind them jare. They know but I think they prefer to live in denial.

Sophyrocks:
I wonder. How can a man who is an adult not know women love attention apart fom other things? Such a man needs to be schooled on womanology all over again. And yet they complain when women cheat.

Why do most guys think women value money more than anything else in a relationship? Just like guys can not survive without respect in a relationship, so women can not do without attention.

@ Coogar, I had a good laugh @ your comments.

True! He should check them out to know if she still continues crying even after he's gone. Some staff in day care are not nice to children. One of my colleagues had her daugther's left eye badly injured and when she asked , they told her it was because the girl was very stubborn . A child of just 9months? She paid them unannounced visits and the nannies were busy sleeping most times leaving the children to engage in all manner of rough play. Even the owner of the place was not sorry for what happened. I adviced her to quickly remove her child from there before it becomes a story that touches o!

Rehil:
i started takin mine at 10months.my first daughter around 9months n some days but her brother by 10months.u r rite,every child is unique but i wil want her to rule out d option of d manner of treatment d daycare staff relate wit d kids

Children are different. How old were your kids when they started. I remeber when I took my daugther, she didn't even notice when I was leaving but after some days, she started crying seriously to follow me after dropping her. That was because there was another baby there that was always crying, serious cry like they were killing her o! And she was very well older than most of the kids there. I kept asking the nannies if that baby would ever get used to the place and they said yes. It took a very long time before that child finally stoped crying.

Rehil:
3weeks still cryin wen u go to drop her?dats not gud.pls try n visit d daycare durin workin hours witout informin dem.just drop ur child as usual,go to work n after about 3hrs go n c how d kids r doing.all my kids stop cryin after like 4days n wave me byebye.maybe d people looking after them r not dat gud u know.all d best

She would get used to it. Three weeks is too short for her to completely get used to staying away from those she knows very well back @ home. Hope the day care is comfortable for her, I mean, how are the kids there treated?

bnovative:
My baby, about 11months old keeps crying each time we drop her at the daycare. I thought she would get use to the center, but it's getting to 3 weeks and she still cries. I love her so much and I can't stand her cry in this manner. It's even worse I can't concentrate on my work, pls people with experience should tell me what best to do.

.

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Sincerely, this guy is too young. I would advice you move on since you can't wait. I won't even advice you to wait because you may not like what happens @ the end of the wait.

kingchi32:
please I know i m not a bad person....I m the type that men call blessed.....I have rejected a lot of men while sticking to him...only for this to happen

@ mamateniola1, abeg share your testimony o! We are waiting!

Hmmmmm! I wonder how he starts the thing. Is it that when he's in the mood, he picks a quarell with her or he brings his belt and begin 2 whip her or he begins to punch her to submission?I don't get it. How will the woman enjoy that or maybe how she feels doesn't matter. If she decides to leave the marriage on that ground, how would she explain to her people? Very embarrassing and complicated situation.

Mutaino7: I think her husby is in2 BDSM.. Its kind of savage-like mode of sexual gratification derived 4rm pain or discomfort.. But make d lady wear boxing glove nau to counter punch im punches(do try diz at home)

@Wedon, this your friend's neighbour's story is heartbreaking. I've been trying to put myself in her situation and wondering what I would have done if I were the one. Very difficult situation I must say. I just can't imagine the beating before sex that should be something of great excitement. I'm sure she doesn't look forward to sex with her husband @ all. Honestly, this one is beyond me. Let's wait for other posters to suggest a way forward for the woman. It is well!

I don't think it's a question of whether hubby loves her or not. Both of them need to work on themselves just like Beevan and Snazzylove rightly said. There are times when love alone cannot hold a marriage together.

honey86: I feel for you and what you must be going through, i think the problem is your husband never loved you, he only agreed to get married because you were pregnant. It seems he is feeling trapped and taking out his frustration on you. BTW, why was it that you are the one to switch off the gen?, your husband should have taken care of that or even your cousin.

DIDIVA, lol @ wild bush rat . Nice one! I also don't do the reporting 2 parents stuff. It never ends in the favour of the woman(they always tell you they are helping you build your home).

You are always very straight forward and objective. I Always look forward to your post. Keep it up, madam! Wish you could post more often

hispinkolo: Diegs,
I am very happy for you,and I pray you find the inner strength to pull yourself together.

Thanks EnoQ, mizdhimplez,
Everyday is a learning curve,lol.

Egopersonified,
Na you be my madam oo. Remember it's easy for me to write epistle but sooo hard to follow through.Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from in that post.

Givemejoy,

First of all,I'm sorry for the pain and hurt you are going through.I'm sure this must be a difficult time for you.

It's unfortunate that our society promotes don't touch his phone,don't look cos of what you may see,what you don't know won't kill you etc. and they are now leaving the main issue and focusing on you checking his phone.They most likely believe that infidelity is a normal part of marriage and as a woman you should manage it.I'm sure they believe they are helping you keep your family together.
Let me ask you,if both fathers have been 100% faithful to their wives do you think they would condone what your hubby did? It's difficult to caution someone over a crime you are also guilty of.
The few times I've broached infidelity gist with my parents,my dad's eye starts shining like rats own,darting around like snake while my mom starts stammering and saying men cannot be trusted. I'm using this illustration so you'll understand why you got that sort of response from them.. I honestly believe they don't know better.


1.DO NOT APOLOGISE!!! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
I must applaud you for being bold enough to check on his phone when you suspected something wasn't right,instead of burying your head under the sand.
You are the one who has been betrayed,you are the one at risk of STD,you are the one who has been wounded.Your husband must be made to face his wrongdoing,not heaping everything on you like you are the one who's cheating.
This is him using pure reverse psychology on you,he accepted for you both to go to the parents cos you have nothing to back your accusations.Which man would agree to go to see the parents with his wife carrying solid evidence? Haaa!
Next thing you'll start asking yourself if you really saw what you did,wondering if your eyes tricked you.
Some men will deny with their last drop of blood o.unfortunately you don't have a copy of the messages as proof.Without solid proof,I fear your husband will NEVER accept wrongdoing especially now the parents have done nothing.

It's left for you to decide personally on what to do?What do you want? Are you looking for a confession and repentance? I am afraid to say that since he's not speaking to you,he's not willing to acknowledge his guilt. He may want this to be swept under the carpet and go out of his way to make you so uncomfortable that you'd simmer down and start looking for his face.Everything depends on you and your willpower plus the kind of man you are coping with.If it's an end time husband,things will be more difficult.

A. You may choose to sit down for a discussion.
1.Reiterate that you know what you saw,and you are convinced he's a cheat 2. He has put your health at risk,demand you both go for thorough blood tests etc 3. State that you feel betrayed ,disappointed and cannot trust him anymore and you are even more hurt by his denial 4.Start asking why he did what he did and why he wants to destroy the family etc 4.Tell him you want an apology/therapy etc

B. If na soft husband who denied out of fear,I would insist on a confession. If he carries face I will ignore him till he breaks down.I am someone that cannot let go until whatever wrongdoing is spelt out and discussed.My worry now is that you are dealing with too many hurtful things,the cheating and the parents turning on you.

I don't know how it's possible to get over the hurt and betrayal you are feeling especially as they've turned the tables on you but I strongly am on your side because I believe you were right to check that phone.Is there any one you can talk to?Put yourself and your well being first.Go and do blood tests to rule out STDs.

I hope somehow you find a way to deal with this in a way that's best for you and your kids.
Sorryyyy.

If you ask me, this your friend is not too old to get things right. 30 years to me, is not old @ all. Wish you guys all the best!

nwababy: Amen to all your prayers. @ B I cannot write in details what we went through but he's worth waiting for though he's not perfect. Well, my fiance had to listen to his people though I didn't understand at first. Their reason was for him to save up and all that. Not that we wanted to rush and do everything at the same oh. Every members of his family had to agree with the elder except him. He had to take excuse @ work and travelled to go and talk with them again; when he came back, he told me that he doesn't want to have issue with his people or his people using because of our getting married to have issue. Infact, it wasn't easy cos I made sure (unintentionally oh) and remind him that I wouldn't wait for him forever. He sat me down and told me that if am willing to take the after math of our getting married against their family that he will do it. But, I don't want my own to be different. I don't want to wait all this while and cause problems between siblings. I had to wait since Dec is almost here. He said he's waiting for my mum to come back from Omugo to start reminding his people. So far, he hasn't disappointed me in any way. Just as the brothers said that him alone cannot marry me. 2ndly, I have a friend that's a banker that's going through same but in a different way. She's earning more than the fiance and they agreed to get married without knowing the guy's people are not in support. Reason the guy is the last born and has three elder ones (including 2girls) non of them are married.the guy went with his friends for my friends Introduction but her father told him to come with his people. The fiance told my friend that they will do her introduction and pay her dowry and she agreed thinking is a way of saving money. He cancelled the date of the Introduction giving reasons about his church saying they will have to start marriage course before anything. Their R/ship is a long distant one. So, she travelled to pay the guy a visit(he's still staying in his family house) and the fiance's mother sat her down and told her that they told him to wait for some time but he went behind them to do everything. The guy is soo desperate and wants to rush everything. Now, my friend is thinking probably the guy wants her money.(My friend is not willing to pay for her wedding Lol) she's very angry with the guy for not telling her the truth. She was like how she wish she will meet another man just that there's no time. Meanwhile she's going to 30years this year.

Good luck to you! May God make the day a reality(Amen).

nwababy: @ Sofun, you have to be steadfast in prayers cos pastor ish is really a big problem in our house hold now. I guess everyone has a story to tell. I didn't want to share before but I guess I was been selfish reading others and not sharing mine. I dated my fiance for 11yrs now. Reason for the time wasted was he's inability to get a reasonable job(he was in Insurance coy) and it yield little or nothing. I was working but my work was able to sustain I and him when needed(he doesn't ask me for money I just knew he needed money and give him). I had wanted to get married twice in the first 7years of our R/ship but I couldn't leave him I love him so much and still in love with him; so, I decided that against all odds I will stick with him. He called me after 5yrs of our R/ship and told me that if am not willing to wait for him that I should marry that he couldn't bare to put my life on hold for him. I told him that am willing to wait (thinking that waiting is easy)5,6,7yrs nothing. I prayed, fasted and cried he reminded me that he told me that it wouldn't be easy journey but I was just myopic thinking love alone can lead us through not knowing love works hand in hand with patience. I decided that if am willing to wait for the one I love that I will sew a cloth like patience and wear it all the time. Sorry I got carried away hope am not boring people with my write up. Have decided to bore it out today. He did hse certification and went to many interview yet no out come. Then, 2yrs ago, he did another certification and God blessed him with a good job this year. In the first quarter of this year, we wanted to do my Introduction.We Went to his elder bro's house and talked about how and when to fix the date. The brother told the elder that's suppose to come with them about my fiance plans to get married and the date we fixed and he was like is it not Papababy that got a job barely 5months ago that wants to get married. When the immediate bro called us and told me that their uncle said I shld wait from now to dec haa. I cried and even unintentionally started shouting on the bro(if not cos I am now like a family, they will say am bad wife)My fiance was mad and stood up for us(he's the last born) I had to start calming him oh. It was chaotic that day. This an elder that doesn't know the genesis of how and when the job was gotten but, I believe that all things worketh together for those who trust in the lord. Though, some days am moody and all that seeing how my friends own goes smoothly without issue. But I guess this world is a personal thing( to each his or her own) Am been steadfast that I will share good news soonest. Wish me luck. N.B: I type with my phone pardon any grammatical error abeg

Yes! I honestly wont do it a second time. My next baby would start formular as soon as he/she arrives.

Melinde: exclusive breastfeeding

I think it is different with individuals. I told her exactly what worked for me. Thanks.

blank: I think the opposite is the case. While you breastfeed, you will lose weight as breastfeeding helps to shed calories. Once you stop, you will start gaining weight unless you moderate your food.

A reason for you not losing weight now is that you are eating too much. You know our mothers like to give us pounded yam, etc cos they say that you need strength to breastfeed. Ditch all of that. Eat fruits and vegetables and then eat carbohydrates and protein once a day in small quantities, you will see the difference. Also, continue with your pre-natal vitamins.

Also, start exercising. Very important. Do sit-ups, skip rope, etc. Be consistent for a month and return with good stories.

Its gradual, you won't loose all the fat at once. Eat healthy too. As long as you are still breastfeeding, you won't see much difference but the moment u stop, you would see that there's a great difference.

Hispinkolo, my padi, padi how far? Sure, I would be back with more jare. Aint leaving the thread for anyone!

To all the lovers of this wonderful thread, I am trully sorry for the e-insults. Trust me, it won't happen again. Thanks.

No, the thread can't get spoilt. I'm truly sorry.

softsparkyy: So you guys wanna spoil this wonderful thread huh

I'm so sorry, dear! Pls, do come back.

Phema: Women and their pettiness! See how they turned this safe haven into a boxing ring.

I'm outta here jare.

Done ke! Na now e start o! You come online 2say my husband is the best, I have the best marriage, bla bla. That's not all people want to hear/read all the time, tell us the challenges so we can learn. So far, that's what this thread has done and you come here with your hypocritical self 2 ruin a thread that has become a home to so many and tell me you are done. I am still waiting for your fighting skills. Na your type no fit do pin where husband dey yet u come online 2 portray lies. Rubbish!

aisha2: Everyone is fake na only you dey real. Carry go. Done