₦airaland Forum

Krak:
The bolded word is used by Ayes. If you are not one of them, you don't need to use their slangs.

Thank you jare.

You know how you go don mix up with a million and one of dem from every sect and your vocab start getting corrupted by theirs.

I will edit now.

Thanks bro.

BEEFIE:
is the govnor a doctor...why are people bent on knowing musa more than musa mother

People are bent on knowing the gate more than Musa mana

ozoebuka1:
Lol...the way people rush to contact you once you make a revelation is very funny...most of these incidents are public known yet when you share it here, some people take it personal. Lol

Truly funny indeed.

People like me wey don siddon begin gist with death at some point in our life when dem threaten us na laugh we dey laugh.

Na me you want threaten with death? Lol funny shit

Death see me e kawa na you wan come use death threaten me? Ask your fellow men how the desert and seas waka be.

If any body threaten you, remind am say na your physical body him fit kill and afterwards him go come meet you for the other side and as a matter of fact na you go senior am for that side. So you must treat him Bleep up when una meet.

Nothing dey lost

Guy, fix that shiit and move on.

Build an indescribable relationship with your landlord.

The first week under the lockdown na so my landlord drop bag of rice for me and my neighbor doormouth.

As I type, I'm a bit high from the Jack Daniels he gave me this morning.

Na me even dey avoid the man.

I tell am say I get land to sell, e say God forbid him no go allow me sell the land.

I sabi pali people well well.

I don stay one house wey landlord turn me to caretaker wey dey collect rent from other tenants, I tell am say abeg I no fit do that kind level.

A very well deserved treating of eff up.

donproject:
Wow! Everyone has past. That's is where you could relate. I know Nigeria prison wouldn't even be the hell one wants to go. I've seen many gory pictures of Nigeria prison like this before, I'm never surprised though, why do they call us third world country?

Calling us a third world is even an insult to the original third worlds.

Hmmm

Most people will read this and conclude it's impossible or can never happen lol.

Things dey happen for life my people. This one sef na small tori

In case ops case is true he's lucky to get his karma very quick and easy.

donproject:
Was playing around bro...you are a cool guy, I know you haven't.

Lol.. I'm a straight-up guy oh, I truly have. I did a year in the slammer in the Netherlands.

donproject:
I want to ask if you've been in one their prisons before but I won't ask...

Of course I have.

chyket:
For Obaseki to have been asking for nominees for position as sensitive as COS at the inception of his government shows he was not well schooled in the game of Politics. As a good politician,you must have your candidates for COS,Commissioner of finance and you must push their candidature through by all means.

You don't need to push any COS's candidature politically before anyone. It is your sole preserve to make anyone you feel comfy with to be your COS. It could be your wife, son, friend, gateman, houseboy or your worst political foe.

GreenArrow1:
We have been talking about the past mostly on this thread. Now let me give you guys a short story of someone who is going to be killed within the next few weeks or months at most.

Disclaimer: As usual, what I'm about to share is public knowledge localized to the area within which these events are occurring.

Hmmm...

Na wah

Spill bro, please.

GreenArrow1:
Just trouble, death, and nothing more. Sadly though, the younger ones would fall prey to the recruiters if people didn't continuously speak out against it. Even at that, the country is filled with so much youth bursting with energy with little opportunity to put those energies into productive endeavors. Hence, the continued rise in cult activities.

So very true.

They end up channeling the burst of energy and testosterone negatively. This is debatable to an extent though.

For the sake of the youths, I'll drop this story of how I was able to meander through Auchi Polytechnic the short time I spent there before hitting the desert en route Spain.

Having struggled to get admission for a long time, I had ended up taking up a part-time program to remedy my Maths deficiency.

I had been so frustrated and tired of staying at home in Lagos that I had moved down to Auchi even when the school was basically not in session. I just needed to get away from home and wait for the school to open her gates.

When I arrived Auchi, I was in luck to find a few run-aways like me so we all blended and became friends. In my group, we.had Deji, Dayo, and Femi, all three from Ondo State.

Fortunately for me, they already had accommodation so, I was able to put up with them.

While together, we would discuss everything and how to navigate through school unscathed and all. We all promised our selves that we'd stay away from cultists and cultism no matter the pressure and intimidation. To avoid the intimidation part, Deji had mentioned he knew one bros called CJ.

According to Deji, CJ had just gotten out of jail which had been his home since the Babangida era and has spent about 10 years in the school due to cultism. He knew where to meet CJ and decided we should go see him introduce ourselves to him.

We had gotten a packet of Benson and gone to see him. When we met with him, he had told us point blank not to yield to any pressure to join any gang, and should we get too pressured we should tell the person we are CJ's brothers because he was well known and dreaded.

The school eventually resumed and the hustling and rustling for young fresh boys to bam up began.

Now, I was a very young handsome teen. If you didn't know me down to my house you'd think I was an ajebutter.

Na so the matter start oh.

For those who know Auchi very well, we usually took our lectures at the Engineering block. During our first class, I'd seen loads of strange, mean-looking faces hanging around our class windows and corridors waiting to pounce on us for canvassing. Na there you go see where dem dey toast man to join cult like say na woman dem dey toast. Luckily for me, "I be CJ brother" seemed to work like magic and got them off my back.

And then, I had been nominated by my class and departmental exco to contest for the departmental "Mr. Whatever", and when there was no one interested in going against me, I had been declared unopposed. The reason for this was, aside from the looks department, I was brilliant in class too, which automatically attracted some of the prettiest girls to me, and my weakness for women would have eventually ruined or got me killed if not for God. (A story for another day).

I would eventually move out of the guys' shared accommodation to rent a place of my own around the cemetery area and finally settled for a lodge beside the infamous " White house hostel" a den for the Ayes.

The pressures would intensify with each day relentlessly.

I remember a coursemate Marc, who ignorantly rented a room at a known cultist hostel (Red House/Hostel) at Sabo. Na so Marc dey lose weight every day. He'd come to my hostel to put him through on some topics and assignments and would eventually confess to me say, "Guy, na die I dey oh". When I probed him further, he had told me how he was the only Ju man at his hostel, how the guys were constantly on his neck to join, how they'd allow him to finish cooking his meals, and when it was done they'd order him to bring the pot and send him away or move the pot from the stove on their own. I had to help him secure a room at mine to stay, and from there we devised a plan which was to become serious church boys.

To this end, we had joined the NIFES campus fellowship where we would soon become active choir members even though there were still cultists even among the fellowship leadership. You need to see me for front of church with all seriousness dey sing. When NiFES hadn't fellowship, you'd see us with our bibles going to Church of God Mission. It even got to a point, I almost started going to the mosque with another classmate Dandy on Friday's just to get these guys off one's back and in hindsight, it did work. Some were really confused about me though to date if I wasn't a member of one or the other cult groups codedly due to many factors, but I simply devised a means to meander through without getting scathed until I decided to drop out and move.

This version is surely plausible.

It's such a shame how Akerele would allow himself to be pawned cheaply in this roforofo fight due to his greed. It serves him right and it's his own karma.

Dude should have learnt loyalty to boss from Abba Kyari.

Unfortunately for him, he can't run away due to Covid19. If I were Obaseki, I'd have set the EFCC on him.

Oshiomole really needs to quit with his childish politics.

GreenArrow1:
Disclaimer: Most of what I've said above is public knowledge. Those trying to contact me. Do not send me any PMs. I no sabi u, u no sabi me. Thank you.

Damn shiit man.

So frigging educative and just like seeing a movie from the way you narrated it.

There is always a payday.

I only hope and pray that our young ones would read and learn how all they'll benefit from gangsterism is nothing but trouble, trouble, and more trouble until death finishes it off.

#SayNotoCultism

A very sad death.

Rest on young one.

Too bad.

Rest on dear.

Wow....

The second Bollywood actor to die in two days.

Inspiwetin?

Igbo wey me go smoke I go begin suspect everybody around me?

E go be like say everybody dey gossip me. Everybody na potential enemy.


Na seven days straight e dey take before that thought comot from my head.

Na so me and one of my guy Ernest go one bad joint go smoke igbo when I be like 18 years old, as we smoke am finish I tell Ernest say make we begin waka go house. In fact, e be like say we dey fly for road and our legs no dey touch ground. At a point, na so I tell my guy say make we hold each other hand oh.

When we reach major road to cross road come see gbege. E be like say motor full everywhere, na only God know how long we dey that particular spot even when the road clear before we eventually brace am take speed cross the road.

As we dey waka na so e be like say gallop full every where. You need to come see where we dey dodge pothole for smooth road. Kai

When we manage reach Ernest house na washing hand basin we take soak garri without sugar, but the garri be like wetin dem put iceblock with better sugar. Crazy shiit mehn

Very many experience but will share this one more.

I get one useless crackhead acquaintance those days wey dey always high igbo. Na so e go wan dey pet me to follow am smoke I tell am say the matter no dey go well with me.

One day na me use my two leg go meet am say I no dey fit sleep well, say make e give me some igbo. The guy happy say him don get partner na so e pack the thing give me I tell am say I go smoke my own for house because if I smoke am for him hotel, I no trust myself to reach house.

Na so I reach house wrap up one enter toilet put fire begin inhale. Na only me dey stay 3 bed apartment then.

From no where oh, na so I begin here wan wan wan wan for inside my head as per police siren oh. My mind begin tell me say e be like say police see me when my guy give me the igbo come trace me come house. As a matter of fact, my mind tell me say dem don surround my house oh.

Na so I jeje carry the one wey I tie remain throwey for toilet flush am, the one wey still dey my hand wey I never smoke go far, I toss am too oh.

I come tip toe go my curtain open am small, look left look right nothing. Na so I shake my head say this thing no real good for me.

Na so I siddon for couch dey reason nonsense oh, the.next thing, na so I jump up oh, bounce go my balcony carry mop bucket bounce enter bathroom fill am up begin mop everywhere for midnight oh.

The one wey I come know say everything wan spoil be say, as I mop the living room finish, I open my burglary leave the door open come bend down like surveyor begin check wether the floor clean enough.

Na only God know how I take sleep that night.

If you wan make I entertain you, just credit.my account well then give me igbo make I kiss small, you go laff your belle scatter.

I no dey try myself go there ooh.

But funny enough, na me dey help people wey sabi smoke tie am oh. If I wrap am for you e go be like say na BAT manufacture am.

An oil-producing country FFS.

Na God go punish all those who had robbed and plundered this country's wealth since inception.

Na different types of sicknesses and problems una go use the money solve to no end.

Tueh

Thunderrr

Freelane33:
I Dey always enjoy this bros codedly . Thumb up Gabby . You’re a real deal . I salute

Thanks boss

God forbid!

Prison cells for some European countries even fine pass some so-called 3,4-star hotels for Nigeria with better floor heating.

Prison wey you go get your fridge, tv, sound system if you wish, multiple beddings and toiletries cutleries, etc.

Then you have access to a well-equipped gym, library sickbay, etc

You are entitled to a loaf of bread, a 1-liter pack of milk, and fruits daily.

Entitled to butter, sugar weekly.

You are entitled to weekly pocket money and shopping for your personal needs (groceries) which you can knock up yourself in the general kitchen.

You have access to all sorts of sports and games.

During the winter days, most of the homeless deliberately commit crimes so they can be taken off the streets just to chill some in the prisons.

Na oyibo really get correctional facilities.

They still believe nothing is happening and that whosoever dies from a pandemic is a martyr.

Make una sha restrict am within the Kardashians

This is the definition of obtaining by trick (OBT) a.k.a scam.

There is a good enough ground for divorce as a result of the above.

Saved by grace.

Subject not clear enough in pic for proper identification.

She is clearly an unrepentant cheat who has been messing with her said bestie even before you two met, continued but kept denying it while you guys were an item until you busted her.

She was crying not because she is sorry for her actions, it was simply because she got caught.

If you hadn't outed her, she'd still be feking him and denying the fact.

I make bold to say, since you kicked her out they'd have feckd more than twice.

Let her go for good and move on with your life bro.

Don't get emotionally blackmailed.

Soft123:
send me your address I go waybill one for you after the lockdown.

Hahaha....talk true.

I dey ABJ

Beautiful...

Beautiful.

My love for scaled fresh fish is unrivaled.

So much to do with it.

The quicker they cancel out one another, the better for all.

My only problem are the innocent souls caught in between their quest for self-annihilation.

Wished the rag-tag dummies could all be identified, rounded up, and locked up together in a massive village-like cage and left to take one another out.

Any intending gangster is welcome here... https://www.nairaland.com/5207293/story-cult-phase-included

Nickshrapnel:
Gaby
This one na another problem wey dey face our youth for Nigeria, funny thing be say, if I talk, dem go say I no wan make dem rich

Very laughable. Na their way.

Or dem go tell you say dem dey collect wetin oyibo steal from dem, otherwise, dem go say make you go preach to our politicians lol