₦airaland Forum

lilkech:
Op when it tries to enter gear two and it makes that ‘thud’ do your tyres ‘screech/chop’ too? If It does then it may not be skipping gears yet

Take it on a short drive, while on first gear rev up to 2k and ease off the throttle, if your gear up shifts without the ‘thud’ then it’s in gear 2

It’s a very bad sign when these transmissions ‘skip’ gears you got to make sure

Try to pull transmission specific codes with a good scan tool and not those small blue ones

Or be like me and use the paper clip method

GAZZUZZ:
Monday Morning......

uncle checks the time....... Yaaay!!! 7am!! And auditors will be in my department today ayemi te mi bami!

He jumps into the shower.......... Prepares for work..

15mins later he runs out of the house, straight to the car. he meets Readone35L finishing up the car cleaning. He said it's alright it's alright leave it like that I am late for work..... He is about to start the car when nephew protests.... Ah Uncle will you not check the fluid levels?

Uncle: it's true o! Oya oya let's check is quick.

Uncle opens radiator, there is no drop of coolant in the radiator.

Checks the engine oil, there is no drop of oil on the dipstick. He stares at nephew in anger and says you see what your English speaking mechanic has done... ... nephew looks down in disappointment. Oya Bring the remaining engine oil we used to service the generator, and bring water let me pour into the Radiator, I don't have time for all this Americana type of arrangement again.

He pours 1 liter of 20w-50 into the engine, checks the dipstick nothing yet. They look at each other in disbelief. They pour the rest of the oil (half a liter) and it shows up on the low mark. Well at least I can manage it to work like this.

They pour water into the Radiator, it takes almost a full bucket, bubbles a bit and takes another 2 to 3 cups full.

Uncle: dipo will hear from me today.

He closes the bonnet. Then just then remembers he forgot a Vital document in the bedroom. He runs off into the house and gives instruction to nephew to start the car.

Uncle is back in 3mins, and he meets nephew still trying to crank engine...

Uncle: what did you do?

Nephew: Uncle nothing o! It refuses to start.

Uncle: get down jor, common car you don't know how to start.

Uncle: see how to do it, you put the key in, turn the key to ignition, you see all the lights on?

Nephew: yes sir.

Uncle: good now you wait 5secs then start.

Uncle tries his method.... The engine still does not start.

Uncle pumps the Gas pedal and continues to start but to no avail. He continues for another 10mins until the battery dies.

Uncle is gives up and decides to go to work by bus, He packs his things and heads to the gate.

Oblo: Oga I no go with motor?

Uncle: just open the gate for me I am late

Oblo: sorry sir, make I call my Broda Bossforeva make I carry you with okada?

Uncle: no no, I will enter bus.

uncle meets sights his fellow Landlord taxiappguy accross the road, taxiappguy crosses the road to greet him,

Taxiappguy: Yusuf this is the first time I am seeing you without your car, hope all is well?

Uncle: My brother, it is my village people trying to get me, but they cannot succeed. Car that I drove all the way from here to ijanikin and back, suddenly refuses to start this morning.

Taxiappguy: eyah I am sure it is something minor you know how these machines are. I can Drop you off at work before heading to my Destination.

Uncle: ehm have you replaced That you corrola that Got stollen last year?

Taxiappguy: No not yet, this time I want to Get something bigger and better.

Uncle: oya how will you now drop me off?

A bus pulls up close to where they are standing the conductor connkg shouts Jibowu yaba onipan! Uncle says I will see you later let me enter that bus.

taxiappguy: wait jor, the taxi is only 1 minute away, he brings out his Xiaomi phone and shows him his uber app.

Uncle: ehen ok let me wait small.

Just then the Uber driver calls taxiappguy good morning sir my name is zoharariel, and I am your uber driver. I am currently on awe street, what is your house number please

Taxiappguy: 2C thank you, we are standing outside.

zoharariel : where is your destination sir?

taxiappguy : you know you are not supposed to ask such questions, but if you really want to know, I am going to my office in maryland mall.

zoharariel : drops call and starts to wonder if the rider is an uber staff

zoharariel arrives with a Very neat camry 2007 with a 4cylinder engine, Uncle and taxiappguy guy enter and the Driver heads to alausa.

Uncle: Young man this your car is fine o!

Zoharariel : Thank you sir, It is just 6months old.

Uncle: you must be a very careful driver.

Uncle now begins to narrate to taxiappguy how his car that was in "perfect working condition" started misbehaving within a space of 3days......

After all the long narration zoharariel chips in a few words.

Zoharariel: That was how I nearly finished this my engine, when the motor first land, my Madam say make we de buy one engine oil say nah manufacturers specification, me wetin concern me nah she de buy the engine oil. Nah so we put am nah so every week the engine oil go de go down, we go buy 1 liter of the engine oil top am. nah so we de do every week, until the woman taya she come ask me if I get solution to the Problem. I tell her say I get one Mech for Jibowu him name nah Kamaru wey de service my former car wey I de use before, say make I take the car go meet am.

Uncle: you mean Kamaru wey get 1 leg short ?

Zoharariel : ah Oga you sef know am?

Uncle: yes for more than 10years now

zoharariel: that man Sabi work no be small, nah so him change our oil Talk say the one wey we de use before nah for Onyibo country because their weather too cold, and our weather too hot, him pour one oil wey dem write 20w50 on top come add thick oil Treatment, come remove the thermostat, connect the fan direct sef, nah so the car no short even 1 drop of oil. Nah so we rest o. Instead of 4000per week on engine oil, we de spend 5000 every 5-6weeks on engine oil you know e depend as the market be.

Uncle: you see let me call Kamaru

uncle places a call to Kamaru, he pleads with him to forgive his actions, and asks him to go to the house to with one of his bois to check the car that it was not starting, and the battery was down.

uncle enjoys the ride all the way to alausa, thanks taxiappguy and heads to the office.


Kamaru gets to the house with a replacement battery, he inspects the spark plugs, they where wet with engine oil. He replaces them with the old copper spark plugs in the car, He brings out a large 100ah battery and replaces in the engine bay, he instructs Readone35L to start the car, and adds a warning, no leave am o, just de start am till e start.

they crank the engine, the engine shows signs of life like it wants to start, it coughs a bit but does not start.

Uncle shouts to Readone35L oya leave am leave am.

He removes all the sparkplugs, Disconnects the fuel line, asks nephew for a small empty bottle of water, he places it on the fuel line, he now instructs nephew to "start am small" just 1 hand then stop. nephew does as instructed, but leaves it on for too long...

Kamaru: stop stop. You no Sabi start motor small small? Abi you wan make the motor catch fire?

Nephew: sorry sir.

Kamaru now has 50cl of petrol, he builds a small mound with sand, places the 4 spark plugs on the mound, pours petrol on it and asks for matches.

Readone35L: looks in disbelief, what do you want to do sir? You want to burn them?

Kamaru: hear no be university, nah work wey we learn before dem born you, just de Watch, the car go start.

Readone35L goes into the house and comes back with a pack of matches, passes it to Kamaru, immediately the lit matches gets close, it lights up the sand mound and spark plugs with a small bang. Kamaru goes back to the engine to inspect it, he examines the wiring, and notices his radiator relay has been removed. He shakes his Head and sighs Onyibo..... See wetin come happen now.


5mins later the fire dies down, Kamaru uses a rag to pick up the hot sparkplugs and inserts them one at a time very quickly into the engine. He then asks nephew to start the car. Nephew starts the car and in a few secs the engine is alive and running...... A lot of white smoke fills the air around.

thebigkendo:
What of the VIN tag under the Windshield? Was it also replaced?

rottenegg:
I need 4 235/70 R16 for a Sienna. All should be same make and treads.

LeJeun3:


245 / 45R22

255 / 55R19

Tyche:
Pick up yesterday; been outta town. Kudos

banky3w:
Lemme continue from here.
Banky3w asks valarinz for vehicle papers and driver's licence. Valarinz provided the licence and told Banky3w that the car has no plates so there is no paper. Banky3w starts counting offence....
Banky3w: offence no 1, driving an unregistered vehicle
Valarinz : it was just imported and it is on transit to dealer stand.
Banky3w : offence no 2, telling a sergeant he does not know what he's saying.
Valarinz : Ha.....
Banky3w : offence no 3, not believing an officer. Valarinz : .............
Banky3w : offence no 4, driving a green Volvo. Don't you know Volvo is not widely used in nigeria? You want to be giving our kazeems headache.
Banky3w : offence no 5, the colour is green.
Banky3w : offence no 6, looking at an officer with contempt.
Banky3w : offence no 7, staying with an officer at a checkpoint.
Banky3w : offence no 8, being clueless and not doing the needful.
Valarinz : Oga please make i see you......
They moves aside,
Valarinz : Oga please take 5k and drop these offences, it won't happen again.
Banky3w : offence no 9, attempting to bribe an officer of the law.
Oya move this car to this place, you're obstructing traffic. Valarinz moves car.....
Banky3w : offence no 10, malicious obedience. Your car has been seized and will be impounded. Leave these checkpoint at once or we will be forced to shoot you.
Valarinz : (walks off while saying....) See you in court.
Banky3w : offence no 11, threatening an officer of the law.
Banky3w calls a tow truck to move the Green Volvo to the impound lot.

and I thought I was funny

charlesadeoye:
Oga gazzuz. I feel you sir. Abeg. I want to activate the beep function on my 2007 corolla S when locking and unlocking the doors with the remote. Is this possible?. Thanks

obekediamondfuto:
papilo, how u dey na........ white smoke like props in Gazuzz play set?

Gazuzz u have to add this episode oh, white smoke that blinds ur rear view in a golf 4 that uncle didn't see dipo driving and hit him from behind.

Mrcharming:
Dear all, my Honda Accord 2010 model skips the second gear and makes a loud thud. This usually happens when the engine is hot. I have scanned it but it did not return any error codes. Pls, what could be the problem? Thanks.

GAZZUZZ:
Uncle arrived the Village meeting and was impressed with the fuel economy of the car, the needle barely moved despite the over 100km distance...
.. He says to him self... seems this this English speaking Mech has some advantage after all..


Uncle arrives the village meeting, and parks at his usual spot under a mango tree..

He enters the meeting and his people hail him.......

In attendance are inception, nwizu042, MotorGuru, Demeanor, Gravatar, maryjenny, ampulki, debeo, Cosplay, kanuri, Alhaji1133, lilyfaith rotormast, LollyTgirl, tectonotimes, dominique puskin, kjsun15, badebillions, Iolo,, deedee44, protocol, nwaanambra1, osita123, Zee10, Enyinne, Alanzazani, pusiboty,, airex fasky, jum33, ajayiopy, Stylaay, Nutase, TSOM yomi007k(m), mafioso47 SalamRushdie, Trac, fuckboys, kniru, ChiefSweetus, JfYL4PB, Michaelonweluzo, ElSherriff, ahnie, kilode100 rianah, autolearner, aAK1 daemperor1 zsch, gloryhouse(m), isinite4me, Chuxxy4me(m), massimo101, SGCSolutions cocoduck, Toks2008.........

The rest are yet to arrive...


Meeting ends @ 4pm, Uncle starts his journey back home..

When in traffic he notices the engine oil pressure light flickering.....

he thinks Nothing of it....

He re-checks his temp gauge it is steady in the middle.

Uncle changes the CD, to ayinde wasiu...


Uncle notices a pattern, any time he is in idle the engine oil light flickers... but when moving it goes off.

he calls dipo... it is now 8pm and he is passing thru cele bustop. Phone rings but dipo does not take his calls.

Uncle gets to ikeja and notices the Temp above the half mark, he is tired and tipsy after a hard day of drinking, he turns off the A/C and decides to manage the car home that way since ogba was just a few minutes away.

he Barely gets home when the Temp needle gets to the Highest mark.

Uncle goes straight to bed.

GAZZUZZ:
oblo! Oblo! Where is this security guard when you need him?

Don't worry I will open the gate for you, thanks for coming, I will test the car very well today, I will be going to ijanikin, and back.

dipo: ok sir.

Uncle thank you o Madam axamansard, I will come to your office when I buy a new car you hear.

Axamansard: if you say so sir, but start with this one, you can even pay twice.

Uncle: ok o! Bye, as Dipo leaves the house.


uncle: Readone35L please remove those bags of water in the boot and take to the house, fill up the 4liter gallon and put in the trunk.


uncle starts the car and he notices blue white smoke from the exhaust.

uncle: shaking his head....... This is a Bad omen, why is my car smoking like a golf 4, he remembers what the Prophet Kamaru told him some days ago, and shakes his Head in disbelief.

he leaves the engine running and prepares for his trip to ijanikin.

Uncle has a Habit of giving the engine a good Rev before leaving the house in the morning, So 30 mins later as he was about the head out, he steps on the Gas pedal with the car in park........

darmilolah who lives in the BQ is in his room about to leave for church when white smoke comes in thru the window........

darmilolah steps out of the room and walks up to yusuf.....

darmilolah: Oga Landlord, why is your car smoking like this

Yusuf: My dear, it is Readone35L my nephew o! He carried me to one English speaking mechanic, and ever since, my car has been misbehaving.

darmilolah: There is this Mechanic that works on my bosses car in ifako, he seems to know what he is doing, and my boss has a lot of cars and hardly complains about his service, let me share his number with you, I think you should take your vehicle there.

Yusuf: is he another English speaking mechanic?

darmilolah: Laughs and Brings out his phone.

Yusuf: Oya give me the number

Darmilolah: 28301933080, his name is ZZUZZAG

Yusuf: se omo Togo ni?

Darmilolah : actually the man confuses me when ever we go there... he speaks Hausa, Youruba and has an ipob name too.

Yusuf: ok, I will give him a call later in the evening, for now I have village me meeting in ijanikin, let me drop you off at the junction. Oblo! Oya open the gate I am going out.


Yusuf's Trip to ijanikin was smooth, the white smoke cleared out as he drove, on lagos badagry express, he turns on the radio and interestingly it is a radio talk show about vehicles... a caller asks sir what is the right engine oil for my Rangerover sports 2006, sooperrescue reply....

We have heard of how good engine oils produced by our local lubricants companies are and we are still wondering why are motorists going for foreign produced synthetic oils when there are good oils produced locally by our local manufacturers. Why is there no trust for these local oils, that we are even prepared to buy engine oils made by Turkish Companies than patronise the Mobil, Oando, Forte, Total, Conoil and MRS. Who certifies these brands in Nigeria?
According to ACEA, those oil labels claiming ACEA certification are self certified and that most oil label are unsuitable for some engines
High quality lubricants are necessary to ensure the reliability of modern high-tech engines.

In order for motor vehicles to function correctly they require high quality oils and lubricants. Differently performing oils are required in different circumstances and climatic conditions.

There are minimum standards for oils that are given in the ACEA European Oil Sequences.

The ACEA European Oil Sequences 2012 define the minimum quality level of service-fill oils that ACEA members demand for using these oils in their vehicles..............


Uncle: awon English speaking mechanics the have come again... switches the radio to CD player and listens to pasuma wonder......


Just then Pipedreams, in his g35x passes Uncle at 200km/hr...... wane01 follows up closely in his infinity fx48....ikhileomotayo follows in sequence wit his acura TL type-s. ......

Uncle: ahh see all these small bois racing without ambulance nearby, if not that I am not in top form and I am respecting my self, I would have joined them too...

cmoney22222 follows behind screaming wait for mee in his camry muscle 4cylinder


Uncle: see that small boi wants to knock his engine...

Readonee35L:
How much is your 5L 5w-20 ?

Lush100:
please at the end, pls kindly let us know the moral of this "story" or "parable" in relation to car and or car maintenance.

thanks

at The end, I will ask every one what their thoughts are, and we will all chip in based on different experiences and knowledge Base, we will all agree to disagree then agree.... Providing content and proof to backup our different ideologies.

End is near

dancok:
no sir, but the mech said i should be saving money for new engine now.

GAZZUZZ:
after all the commotion, Dipo brings out a scanner to scan Uncles car...

1min later...

dipo: sir it's a P0420

Uncle: 420 bawo?

Dipo: a catalytic converter related issue.. Dipo then points to the exhaust manifold, and trys to explain further.... Uncle cuts in... Indomie no' ni! Kamaru removed it in 2015!

Uncle: Indomie was blocked and the engine did not faya well.. So as Kamaru removed it, engine was firing well.

Dipo: sir that is the reason the light came up...

Uncle places a call... hello hello ore me Ema send won mo o! Ehn ehn we will sor it out ehn ehn.

uncle drops the phone: Dipo so what about my engine that has become a shower, every where leaking from different points?

Dipo: explains that it is prolonged use of tap water that caused a degradation on the aluminum passages, and a faulty radiator unit.

Uncle: dipo 5 years yes 5.. My water did not go down, and in 5mins after leaving your workshop my vehicle became a cry baby. Well it is late and I don't have any more money for a radiator today, and the catalyst is still pending.

Dipo places a call to Macavele: Baba, please do you have that your old radiator you replaced because you were doing preventive work? Macavele replies yes. Please can I have it, there's a small situation in the workshop. Macavele says no problem, but you will pay the okada man o! Dipo says no problem.

Dipo: sir in the interim, I will install a functional used radiator so the leaks stop.

uncle: oshe! Badest, at the end of the month I will replace it.

Sultaan the okada rider arrives in 15mins with the radiator, dipo pays N500 and asks for change, sultaan replies Oga dipo, "Change I no de"

Uncle: ahh dipo, that radiator is looking like the tokumbor I bought 5years ago, very sharp no ni!

Dipo is at this point thinking of his N500 and manages to give a smile.

dipo: sir you will need to buy coolant again sir.

Uncle: Don't worry put, end of the month I will pay in Uncles mind "sense wee not kee mi"

dancok:
pls sir, white smoke usually comes out of the tail now,especially if I accelerate, when am on main road, the smoke follows me like locomotive train. What can I do?

dancok:
pls sir, white smoke usually comes out of the tail now,especially if I accelerate, when am on main road, the smoke follows me like locomotive train. What can I do?

kemspec:
good afternoon engineer gazzuzz, I have a EOD shortening oil n smoking small small. can I ring the engine since I don't have money to buy another one. secondly, can the engine wear cause it to be bringing out black smoke at d exhaust n consuming fuel like a drunkard . 1500 fuel can't take me from yaba to ikorodu. what can cause that sir. the car is ex.

Specialist900:
Gazzuzz, how come you leave me out of this party.... Are we quarreling

Baba the movie is still long with lots of characters, you must feature in this movie