₦airaland Forum

Jarus:
Check the 'notify me of replies' button when replying a post if you want to see notifications, if not, uncheck it before submitting.

How about my complaint?

alheri:
He would probably nuck her on the head and tell her "na you papa go explode"

Nice one there, U made it more funny.

First of all, Happy Eid to all Muslim brothers and sisters.

It's been my intention to complain about one of my posts on this section, which reads: "Hints on Ablution & Daily Prayer", but I don't know how to go about it.

I'd like to know why my comment on this topic was removed. I am awaiting your response.

Thursday, September 9, 2010 


Agency reporter


Lagos State Government on Wednesday said it would provide free bus services to commuters, especially Muslim faithful to convey them to their various praying grounds.

The one-day free bus scheme programme is expected to carry commuters on all the existing routes being operated by LAGBUS.

Governor Babatunde Fashola (SAN), gave the directive as the normal practice of the state government promote use of public transportation and reduces congestion on the roads during festive periods in the state.

A statement by the Managing Director of LAGBUS, Mr. Tunde Disu, indicated that operations would be done with the red buses and Bus Rapid Transit being regulated by Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority.

He said the operation would last between 7am to 10 pm in the existing routes in all the five divisions of the state.

Disu also stated that the free bus ride being provided by LAGBUS was the gesture of the state government to reduce traffic on the road on the celebration day.

According to him, the development is to make movements easier and prevent avoidable accidents, which usually occur during festive periods.

Urging the people to exercise restraints at home and on the roads, the state government wished Muslims and residents a happy Eid-el Fitr celebration.

May the auspious occasion of Eid bring joy and peace to each and every one's heart and home, Eid Mubarak!

[quote author=Efemena_xy link=topic=506718.msg6681698#msg6681698 date=1283372692]Not funny  [/quote]Thanks for reading it.

agitator:
old joke

There will always be a first reader. Hmmm

A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women's Day wishes and compliments

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
 
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"
 
Poof!!!
 
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
 
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose,
 
cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,
 
Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,
 
Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
 
Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,
 
Paid the bills and balanced the check book, 
 
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
 
Then, it was already 1.00pm
 
And he hurried to make the beds, 
 
do the laundry,   

vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor, 
 
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
 
Set out milk and cookies and, 
 
got the kids organized to do their homework. Then,
 
set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.At 4:30pm,
   
he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, 
 
rolled meatballs and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,
   
He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher,  .
 
Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 9.00pm,
 
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love,
 
which he managed to get through without complaint.
 
The next morning,
he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:
 
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!"
 
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait NINE MONTHS, though. You got pregnant last night."

A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women's Day wishes and compliments

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
 
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"
 
Poof!!!
 
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
 
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose,
 
cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,
 
Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,
 
Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
 
Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
 
Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,
 
Paid the bills and balanced the check book, 
 
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
 
Then, it was already 1.00pm
 
And he hurried to make the beds, 
 
do the laundry,   

vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor, 
 
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
 
Set out milk and cookies and, 
 
got the kids organized to do their homework. Then,
 
set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.At 4:30pm,
   
he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, 
 
rolled meatballs and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,
   
He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher,  .
 
Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 9.00pm,
 
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love,
 
which he managed to get through without complaint.
 
The next morning,
he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:
 
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!"
 
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait NINE MONTHS, though. You got pregnant last night."

Baba Sege got an invitation from the Queen to come and visit her in England. One afternoon, while drinking tea, he asked the queen her success secret. She told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she must be certain that they are intelligent. She decided to show him exactly what she meant and phoned Tony Blair.
 
"Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence."
 
Queen: "Oh! hello Mr Blair, I have a question for you:
your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"
 
Tony Blair " It's ME!"
 
Queen: "Correct! Thank you, bye"
 
"Did you get that Mr. Obasanjo?" the queen asked. "Yes, thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that! "
 
Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Dr. Chuba Okadigbo and he's going to ask him the question. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him:

"Dr. Okadigbo I have a question for you; your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister,  who is he?."

Okadigbo thinks,  and thinks, "Em,  you must give me some time to think about it." And Mr. Obasanjo decided to give him a day to come out with an answer.

That afternoon, Dr. Okadigbo called a meeting to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. They drew up an Okadigbo family tree, but to no avail. The next morning, he realised he has to give Obasanjo an answer and as a last resort, he decided to phone Jerry Rawlings of Ghana.

"Jerry, your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister , who is he?"
 
Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Chuba, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"

Okadigbo rushed to Obasanjo's office, very impressed to know the answer to such a difficult question. "Mr. President, I know who he is, it's ! Jerry Rawlings!"

Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko , Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senate president.
 
I'll make sure you're removed from office. The child is TONY BLAIR !"

@Tosinville:

Thanks for your nice comment.

queeneve:
I am glad my husband isn't YORUBA,

Even though he's not a YORUBA man, this is family moral as it should be. Try it and he will like it.

I am a typical yoruba lady to the core, education or no education, civilisation or not, I still accept some traditions, I was brought up in that way, greeting my parents or siblings, u have to kneel or almost about getting to the floor, its a sign of respect which I wont allow education to STEAL from me.

Yes o! I love this

if my husband wants me to kneel for him whenever he wants, so be it, as long as he is my husband
KI NI BIG DEAL

KO SI BIG DEAL N'BE O JARE. Some people (Yorubas) are just making mouth, we all knew its part of our traditions and cultures we can't do without.

blank:
I wonder what the wife was doing while the man was playing with her bosoms.

Abi o!

Unserious fellow  .

Sagamite:
Are your vocal cords connect to your rectum?

Where did Xtians attack people in their homes?

Do you have mental issues?

It appears that you are just ordinary an e-idiot fanatist. How come or what dare a person to go to another person on the street or in their home and preach to them to accept a religion. This act is what developed to the action of the bitch who went to the mosque to make such a brawl. No muslim ever preaches to an individual on the street or enter ones home to preach Islam.

Therefore, a person like you should understand moral of talk in the forum. Addressing or abusing people with mental or non-mental signifies your absurdity.

This is the right time for the Nigerian Authorities to know that Christianity or Islam preaching without knowledge of theology is the cause of ignorance that causes religion crises.

Starting from some Christians' audacity to attemp to attacking individuals on the street or in their homes under the pretence of preaching. It's right time to ban any sort of attack called preaching towards individuals on the street or in their homes which violate personal freedoms.

Her action is not justifiable at all. I can't believe some people are still defending sort behaviour.

Something is not clear here; do you guys hate ISLAM that much because it preaches PEACE or the followers (Muslims)?

It's time we separate Tribal issues and religion.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice.

So touching and too late to be forgiven by her.

She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband,

Poor woman, she covered his awful deed and still wish him great in the eyes of their son.

janedaniel:
This is a lesson for everyone. I have pondered on it, and i couldnt help but cry. sometimes i ask myself if i had just a month to live, what would i do? Sometimes, we delay things when we r supposed to hasten up. We turn away from a relationship because of a mistake a spouse made. Sometimes we just throw away the most valuable thing we had for no reason at all or for reasons that seemed real to us.
Life is very easy. we are the ones who complicate it.

Yea, you're right. We should live everyday of our life like we're going to die tomorrow.

Man feel respected when his woman:
1.  Trust his decision (even if he's wrong, he should be convince in a subtle way)
2.  Discuss anything with him (seeking his opinion, taking permission etc.)
3.  Don't compete with him
                      And
4.  Let him know he's the head of the family (even if things is not that superb)

chaircover:
Ok Gabry. I think I sense some subtle toasting. So lets do this properly shall we. We are more than this o!

To register interest;

First of all, please deposit £10 Million into a designated bank account. Please note that this is a token payment to register interest and we reserve the right not to give you our beautiful daughter and with no refund.

In the meantime, we will also require a 2010 Black BMW X5 for Mama Sienna and a 2010 Silver Audi Jeep for Baba Sienna. We could have asked for a Bugatti but we are not greedy but reasonable people.

We will also like you to buy a nice 5 star holiday apartment in Malaysia in Mr & Mrs Siena's names so that baby Sienna can visit baby Donovan if she likes; again we could have asked for a permanent suite in Dubai's Burj Al ARAB but we are reasonable people.

Let us know as soon as the money has been deposited & we will add your name to the list.

Long gone are the Yams, fruit and salt days. This is the Jet set age

zayhal:
@op
may Allah reward you for the attempt.

We however must not overlook somethings in the above:

First off, there is no verbal intention for either ablution or any of the prayers, intentions are the heart. Saying intentions verbally is an innovation. Neither the Prophet (saw) nor the Sahabah  made verbal intentions for salah or ablution.

2ndly, washing of the mouth goes together with the nose. The remnant of the water that is scooped to wash the mouth is used for the nose simultenously. Same thing goes for the wiping the head and ears. You scoop water, rub it over the head and use the same to rub the ears.

Dropping water into the mouth and raising the hand is also an innovation.

We can learn more about salah in the book Sifaatu salatun-Nabbiyy by Sheikh Al-Albani.

Let us learn Islam properly and practise it in its pristine way. May Allah accept our acts of worship from us.

To the moderator,

Where is my reply to this comment?

Any reason that warrants the removal of my reply to this comment is bias.

Candy9:
thanks so much for your help. most interesting.

Happy weekend!!

U welcome. I'm happy U found it interesting.

Someone sent this story to me and, true or false, it's worth sharing. Please read,

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali's daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day. My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.

Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Wheredo you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock.

You've got to work hard to get to them." He looked at me with serious eyes.  "Your body is sacred.

You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too."

Ramadan mubarak.

Candy9:
Please can you help me with explanations about these Yoruba terms:

oja okunkun? Yoruba saying about a relationship

then:

oja okunkun: Black market/Secret deal

inu jin: The dept of innermost

onikun lo mo ika: The evil know themselves

Ese o: Thank you

To start with,
Ramadan Mubarak! May Almighty Allah bless us with happiness and grace our homes with warmth and peace.


Dear Moderator,
I will like to know why my comments is being removed. Awaiting your response!

Thanks sister for the comments:

First off, there is no verbal intention for either ablution or any of the prayers, intentions are the heart. Saying intentions verbally is an innovation. Neither the Prophet (saw) nor the Sahabah  made verbal intentions for salah or ablution.

That there's no verbal intention for either ablution or any of the prayers is an argument of a creed or a school among the schools of thoughts, but that shouldn't be an impediment to the elementary knowledge of our religion, Islam. The token was presented  for those who want to know about ablution and prayers. And this is just simple moderate instruction about it all (as generally accepted result of all arguments). Check on Khashiat Dasuky, Fiqh Solaat Ala Madhaib Arba'a,and many other books. Only God knows best.

Pls, let's always be simple and moderate in our thoughts; especially as Muslims. Talking about creeds in small case like this can deviate people. Your book can be an extra knowledge for whoever wants to go further. Besides, remember that the argument of the Islamic schools of thoughts is a blessing for us muslims, not for antagonism.

2ndly, washing of the mouth goes together with the nose. The remnant of the water that is scooped to wash the mouth is used for the nose simultenously. Same thing goes for the wiping the head and ears. You scoop water, rub it over the head and use the same to rub the ears.

Sorry to say that this is a complete delusion, and it is uncalled for in Islam. Washing mouth (Madhmadha) is something, and washing of nose (Istinshaaq; inhalation and exhalation) is something else. They are two separate things, likewise the head and the ears. They are separate things in ablution. This is a confirmed knowledge about ablution. The token present is a well-studied guide for ablution and prayers for our young brothers and sisters in Islam. It is in accordance with Imam Malik, which is the most accepted among all the schools.

"And logically for your own benefit as a scholar. The most accepted water for purification is clean, unused water. Why do you use remnant scooped water to perform an aspect of ablution, when you have clean water, probably for tap. So, state clearly with evidences in your teachings for your followers; Knowledge is Amaana (sacred trust) that you'd be accounted for. Also this is logic error that hold some Christians to criticism when asked of who's the God; the Jesus Christ, the holy trinity, or the God Almighty. They just mix it together, whereas, Jesus is well known as a prophet through whom the Bible was sent; the holy trinity is spiritual that it works between Jesus and his God who sent him; and the God is only One." State things clearly in the way that a new learner or beginner will understand you without any consultation. God bless you.

Also, am happy that, as a Muslim, you know about creeds in Islam. It is a blessing. But try to read very well and derive best result for our brothers and sisters who can't read or write Arabic. Also to mention, Imam Muhammad Nasser-deen Al-Albani is far less a scholar, even a student to those of 4 Orthodox Imams (Malik, Abu Aneefa, Ambali, and Shafi'e). He is a devout Muslim by the way.
   And one thing I want you to know also is that he (Al-Albani) is more or less  a Anafi follower, we, from Nigeria down to Sub-Sahara area of Morocco, are followers of Imam Malik. If you go deep in Islamic Schools of thoughts, you'll read many misconceptions in Anafi and Ambali's schools; we have those who do not complete ablution, we have those merge many aspects of ablution together like yours, and lastly, we have those who exaggerate the aspects of ablution like some of Shafi'e. But by and large, they all at last come to a consensus on every argument - The consensus is because of we people to come after them. Alhamdu lillahi.

Welcome Ramadan, ! The month of purification and worshipping.

Wishing that the spirit of Ramadan be with everyone of us today and always! Ramadan Mubarak.

Dear Agatha,
I have been bothered by the fact that I did not bleed during my first intercourse. Was it that I was born without hymen or may be I lost my virginity as a baby? Although am now a mother of four. I can’t help but think about it at times.

Worried Mother.


Dear Worried Mother,

Yes, bleeding signifies a woman’s broken seal, the passage of the girl status into womanhood. But not all women bleed the first time. This is due to a wide range of possible reasons.

If you were not abused as a child, then it could be that you were into rigorous exercises or sports before you slept with a man. Some strenuous sports like running, horse riding can break the hymen which as a matter of fact is a very delicate seal. It doesn’t take much energy to have it broken; so, it could be broken without a woman sleeping with a man. For the experienced man, only the tightness of the passage would tell him the condition of the woman; whereas, some need the physical evidence of blood to be convinced they are meeting her intact.

And in some cases, some women have been deflowered by tampons or the questing fingers of their lovers. Tampons can break the seal easily because it is inserted into the woman’s body to absorb her flow unlike the conventional pad that is placed at the entrance of her body to absorb her flow. There is no way she would know that her hymen has been broken because it will come out with her flow as blood.

Like the tampon, the fingers too can easily break the fine film covering of a woman’s body.

What is important is the level of trust the woman is able to command from her man. If you have had four children and not once given your husband reason to doubt you, he will always cherish and take pride in your honour as a woman any day.

That is what is most important at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter whether you knew how you were deflowered or not.

http://odili.net/news/source/2010/aug/6/404.html

There is nothing wrong marrying your best friend's widow for as long as you are not guilty or in some ways responsible for his death. Your intention to marry her must be on the basis of mutual love, understanding & commitment but not out of pity.

It will be wise, if he marry her out of pity. Talking of mutual love, it simply means they're leaving the memory of the late husband behind which is not supposed to be for the sake of the kids.

next1:
@madoba I agree with you to the extent that there is nothing with marrying your late friend's widow but I will have to add that it's takes a very strong character to pull this stunt through and the backlash of sentiments and emotions will not get to you. We are NIGERIANS. We think act, think and live 9ja so let's us drop this "it's only in Nigeria that people think like this , " cos that's who we are. We think about how our actions affects other people. Do not forget that there are children involved and the late guy also has family left behind. In as much as both of you can ward off the intruders what of the kids? how will they handle the whispers from their uncles and aunts ? The guy may have to contend with violent reactions from the late guy's kid.Put yourself in the place of the sibling of the late guy, how will you handle the fact that your brother is in a cold grave and HIS BEST FRIEND is getting with HIS WIFE?!!!
Now before you venture into such a journey you have to have it all figured out and it has to be for the very right reasons. I don't think I can handle it.

I quite agree with you. There're some actions invented or borrowed from other societies (i.e. Europe) that are not applicable in our society. Let's be cautious.

How so? She is morally obligated to remarry after the death of her husband.

Who says NO? But not to the closer friend of her late husband.

matoyeh:
Being in luv with a prostute is not a problem if she can change,
but how do you feel when you are in luv with someone 50% of her families dont agreed with you, ?you decided to find some strategics to cool those that dont agree with you down, later you find out that your girl is seriously cheating on you with different kind of men, when you ask her, she tells you that she has alot of responsibilities and once you can not bear it and afford to take absolute care of her, she will find some one who will rescue her
but, she seriously love you.
what next please after 2 years of friendship

Wow! Core Professional.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=489557.msg6499810#msg6499810 date=1280791165]450 Keys!!
And they were taking it to Ibadan?? wetin Ibadan go take 450Kiis do? shey na yam flour ni?? [/quote]
May God help Ibadan people from insecure government.