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Is there anything bigger than a face-palm? A face-foot? Because seeing this article on Time magazine's website made us want to smack ourselves in the face with a shoe. Time debuted its annual list of words that they think deserve and/or need to be banned. Apparently last year they got "twerk" banned? We think Miley Cyrus banned that term symbolically the moment her VMA performance ended and after Robin Thicke cried himself to sleep that same night. On its list of words to ban in 2015? The usual suspects like "I can't even," "yaaasssss," "obvi" and "bae." Those are fine and, sure, we've used most of those words before and it's probably time to stop. We get it. That's not how humans are supposed to talk. But why in the hell is "feminist" on there? Here's Time's explanation: You have nothing against feminism itself, but when did it become a thing that every celebrity had to state their position on whether this word applies to them, like some politician declaring a party? Let's stick to the issues and quit throwing this label around like ticker tape at a Susan B. Anthony parade. Um, why are we pissed that people are labeling themselves as feminists? After decades of people being afraid to refer to themselves as such, shouldn't we be celebrating the fact we hear this word so often? According to Time and the voters: NOPE. A staggering 45 percent of readers voted to do away with "feminist," followed with "bae" and "om nom nom nom." Yeah, it's very logical to put those three terms in the same category. Did our sarcasm come across just then? Good. We're not the only ones who were peeved at Time's poll choices. Look! It's those damn feminists, at it again on Twitter! So, yeah, the banning of "feminist" pissed us off, but next in line was the fact that they referred to Miranda from Sex and the City as "basic." What?! She was the least-basic one! The redheaded, sarcastic Harvard-educated lawyer who hates pretty much everything? How is she basic?! She proposed to her husband over $2 beers! And Miranda would never be caught dead Instagramming her Pumpkin Spice Latte. Get your facts right, Time! Really swinging for the fences today, huh? WE. CAN'T. EVEN.

http://time.com/3576870/worst-words-poll-2014/

The Pastor in my friend Nneka’s church is always talking about tithes. He uses the Old Testament to tell people why they should give a percentage of their salary to the church. Many pastors in this country do that. They always tell us to go and read Deuteronomy.

But what did Jesus think of money? Remember that the teachings of Jesus are more important than the laws of the Old Testament. Otherwise there would be no point in being Christian. Christianity is about Jesus Christ.

If we read the story of Jesus Christ, he didn’t really approve of wealth or money. In fact, he seemed to prefer poverty.

Please read these verses:

Mark 10:25 “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

Matthew 19:21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Mark 12:41-44 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others.”

Solution: Those pastors who keep telling us that wealth and God are linked should stop it. Just stop it. They should preach about honesty and kindness and forgiveness and being good to your neighbor and working for the wellbeing of your community. They should leave money out of it. They should tell government officials to stop stealing. They should stop acting as if the people who give more money are somehow more blessed and will get more blessings. And instead of always talking about Old Testament verses that tell us to give our money to the pastor, they should preach about the New Testament verses.

Boko Haram leader, Abubakar Shekau has appeared in a new video and given what might just be his most chilling speech ever.

Shekau speaks about Boko Haram’s mission and the condition that the abducted Chibok girls are in.

Below are the 10 most shocking things he said in his speech

1. “We hope to die on this path and get eternal rest in our graves, rise up in bliss before our Lord and enter Paradise (quotes from the Koran). Our goal is the Garden of Eternal Bliss. May Allah protect us.”

2. “And it is you today claiming we made truce with you? In what way did we make truce? Which kind of negotiation, with whom?”

3. “That your Danladi, the infidel like you, who we will not spare and will decapitate if he falls into our hands today? Where do we know him, not to talk of him representing us? Who is Danladi on this earth?”

4. “Therefore I tell you (that) we have not made ceasefire with anyone. Only battle, hitting, striking and killing with gun which we long for like tasty meal. This what we believe in and fight for.”



5. “It is said Chadian President, Nigerian ambassador, the people of Cameroon and us met and agreed on a truce. How?”

6. “Don’t you know we are still holding your German hostage, always crying. If we wish we hack him or slaughter him or shoot him. We fear no one but Allah. This is our job.”

7. “Surprisingly, if the women of Chibok, I mean the mothers of the Chibok schoolgirls and their fathers, if you know the condition your daughters are in today it could lead some to convert to Islam and some to die from grief.”

8. “Don’t you know the over 200 Chibok schoolgirls have converted to Islam? They have now memorised two chapters of the Koran. They have seen themselves in the Books of Luke and John that Christians have corrupted the Bible. Girls from Chibok confessing Islam is the true religion! We married them off. They are in their marital homes.”

9. “We did not negotiate with anyone. We did not negotiate with anyone. We did not negotiate with Chad. We did not negotiate with Cameroon. We did not negotiate with Nigeria. We did not negotiate with the Chadian ambassador. We did not negotiate with Africa. We did not negotiate with Asia. We did not negotiate with Europe. We did not negotiate with America. We did not negotiate with the United Nations. What is negotiation? We did not negotiate with anyone. It is a lie. It is a lie. We will not negotiate. What is our business with negotiation? Allah said we should not.”

10. “I thank Allah. I started with knife and today I have seized more than 20 of our armoured vehicles, they are in my possession.”


http://9javibes.com/news/10-shocking-things-boko-haram-leader-said-new-video/

The United Kingdom have led again, this time not in steam engines or modern colonization, but in politics. Politics wrapped around a true sense of human right and freedom. The British allowed it's people, the Scottish people to choose it's path. Fortunately and/or unfortunately depending on which side of the divide you are in, they have said NO. They have believed that unity is better than division. Big is better than small. Power and king Is better than pauper. It's easy to see why. To be a player in this modern world, you have to be big. QED. That's why the United States, Russia, China the Euro Zone and even Nigeria are such big forces. Idea rule this world. You need a big united country to have abundance of this talents. That's why new talents and inventions (90%) are only abound in these big countries. They even steal the remaining 10% of talents. Little wonder why countries like the United States collect our bright stars, give them scholarship make them do PHD and hand them over resident permit or citizenship for free. Little wonder why the US cannot take off their hands off alaska. The bigger the better.

I know for sure being big doesn't alway mean good. That's why some countries are actually better off being independent. A pro Biafran friend once told me that, the Igbos are better off ruling themselves than allow outsiders to rule them. I told him that as long as greed exist nothing changes really. So instead of a YES vote, why don't we tackle greed in Washington, in Westminster, in Abuja etc. if we can't do that a big country, we certainly can't do that as a small one

Gombs:

Tell the priest this is my advice for him...

[NLT] 1 Thessalonians 4:11 Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.

Why don't you mind yours?

want to first and foremost say that I am saddened by the ongoing marital crisis happening between Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his wife Reverend Anita. Since they came into the limelight, I have always seen them as the ‘perfect’ couple, perfect in the sense of being made for each other, not in the sense of impeccability or infallibility. Since no one is perfect, I don’t expect a perfect marriage. Personally, I sympathize with this godly family. For years, they have, together, uplifted and touched the lives of many, giving so many lives a meaning, and presenting Christianity in such a beautiful way, not only in Nigeria, but also around the world. Although I do not accept every teaching and theology of Pastor Chris, (You should expect that; I am a Catholic priest), I sure admire him and the wonderful work he has done in Christianity. No one, not even the most traditional and extreme conservative Catholic in Nigeria, should regard Pastor Chris as a failed man of God. He has done some good, together with his wife, Anita. He has built a global church commonly known as Christ Embassy. Pastor Chris is an amazing preacher of the Christian message. From the pulpit, he, together with Anita, has made a strong case for Christianity, and demonstrated that only Jesus Christ can save. They have shown that Christianity is the most beautiful of all religions, the most potent of all religions to change and transform lives. They have shown sufficient reasons why everyone should follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. When the lists of famous preachers of the 21st century is drawn, Pastor Chris cannot possibly be ignored. He’s not a featherweight man of God. He’s a preacher with a message and he surely delivers that message powerfully with poise and finesse. If you call him a flashy man of God, you aren’t incorrect. By flashy, I don’t mean an extravagant show of material wealth, rather, an extravagant and elegant use of English grammar in preaching. By that I mean he is a flowery and flamboyant orator-preacher.

But recently, it started appearing in print, online news media, and social networks etc. that this giant man of God’s marriage is on rocky ground. At first, I thought it was a rumor. Rumors oftentimes trail and follow most influential people in the society. If an ordinary guy falters, who cares. But when it involves those at the upper end of the society, it does make huge news. As the days have gone by, I have began to see more publications, updates and several Facebook posts stating that Pastor Chris and his wife, Reverend Anita are heading for divorce. All I did was pray for them and asked God to save their marriage. I do not want to see them go their separate ways. They are much better together. They will continue to accomplish more for God and humanity together. They will be able to serve God better together. They will be able to raise their children and show them good examples better together. They will be happier together and promote Christian marriage together.
Then on Sunday, ( September 7, 2014), Pastor Chris mounted the podium and preached to his congregation:

You don’t know who a man of God is. I don’t go in that direction. I wasn’t accused of the things you said, nor did I commit those stupid things that you said and I don’t need to go into that level in such discussions. Jesus Christ was accused by many – a lot of frivolous charges… But you know, in spite of the accusations against Jesus, it didn’t change who he was. It didn’t change him. There are preachers and there are men of God. I am not a preacher; I am a man of God and I go in the way I’m asked to go. It may cause some troubles with individuals but that’s not because I have done something wrong and when it comes to Reverend Anita, what I will say to you is ‘pray for her… If you are married to a man of God, it doesn’t make you automatically mature. You can make mistakes; you can do something that is wrong. But some people expect the wife of a minister to definitely be at the level of that minister and so they may be looked upon and the expectation may be like that, but it’s a positional thing. If a man of God is married, it doesn’t automatically mean that the wife of a man of God is therefore a woman of God. That’s not the way it is in the Bible. That’s why you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name? You never find that out. Who was John’s wife? Did you ever read the name? What about all the other Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible. You never find their names. You have to understand something about a man of God. A man of God is not just someone who worships God or preaches God. A man of God is handpicked by God, set on course by God. If you study the scriptures, you will not find one man of God go against God, sinning against God. The only things you might find will be a man of God, maybe in two different kinds of ways. Moses, for example; when he struck the rock twice, [he] was provoked by the anger of the people. [It was] not because he wanted to do something against the Lord. No man of God does something against the Lord. “Are you hearing me? A man of God is set on a course; there is a type of life that he is given. (culled from The Cable)

I am disappointed with Pastor Chris not because I believe he is guilty. I am disappointed with him for not asking his church members to pray for him and his wife. In that sermon, he did not ask his members to pray that his marriage with his wife doesn't collapse. He did not appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision. He did not plead for prayers for himself and his family. Instead, he completely exonerated himself, urged his members to see what is happening to him in the light of what happened to Jesus, tried to convince them that what he is (i.e. a man of God), doesn’t make his wife a woman of God. He told his congregation to pray for Reverend Anita. He couldn't even refer to her as “my wife.” In that sermon, Pastor Chris did not help his case in any way. In fact, he worsened it. I expected him to appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision and to return to him. A man who genuinely wants his marriage to stay alive, a man and desperately wants his wife to come back to him would have said something like, “Sweetheart, this period is a trying period in our lives, in our marriage. But please, reconsider your decision, come back to me. I miss you. I miss us.” I expected Pastor Chris to appeal to his congregation to appeal to his wife to reconsider her decision, at least for the sake for their family, which includes their children, their love, their ministry, the people of God and for the sake of God as well.

In his sermon, Pastor Chris spent a great deal of his time talking about how there were several men of God in the Bible whose wives were not mentioned. And according to him, their wives were not mentioned because those women were not women of God, and were never called. That's an insult to women. His assertion is not true. Women were largely ignored in the Bible, not because they were ungodly, not because there weren't women of God, but because the society was hugely a male dominated society. In those days, women were seen and not heard. One of the typical Jewish prayers that men prayed then was, "Thank you Lord for not making me a woman." If Pastor Chris and his wife, Reverend Anita cannot keep their marital promise of "For better, for worse... till death do us part" then they have lost credibility to preach and encourage others, especially their congregation, to stay in their marriage when it gets tough. Marriage is really tough, and I understand that. But if they cannot stay in their marriage till death do them part, that would send a laudable wrong signal to others who are already struggling in their marriages and give them a solid reason to end it after all.

During his sermon, Pastor Chris did acknowledge that divorce is unbiblical, but still said that if his wife insists on it, he would sign the papers. As a man of God, he should have known by now that he is called to a different set of standards. Although, it’s unfair to expect more from us men of God, after all, we too are humans, just like everyone else. But then Jesus said, “To whom much is given, much is expected” (Luke 12:48). I may be living on a different planet but I expected Pastor Chris to say: "If my wife brings the divorce papers, I will not sign them because it is not scriptural. I will plead with her; we would seek the face of God and we would find a way out of our current problem.” If he had said that, many in his congregation, including those of us commenting on this issue would have commended him. But he sounded like a man whose mind and heart were already out of the marriage. He sounded like a man whose eyes were already on the lookout for a new wife. He sounded like a man who already wanted out of the marriage.

Pastor Chris actually wants you and I to believe that he was the one called by God, and that his wife wasn’t called. He wants us to believe that he is a man of God, that his wife is not a woman of God. He wants us to believe that even though Anita is married to him, a man of God, that does not mean she is mature. He wants us to believe that since the wives of the Apostles and other great figures in the Old Testament were not written in the Bible; they were not women of God, they were not called by God; they were not set on course. Since their names were not found in the Bible, those women were probably spiritually immature and probably sinful. Since there were not a lot of great women, women of God in the Bible, it means only a few women even during the time of Christ were found worthy to be called and set on course by God. This is what he said: “If you are married to a man of God, it doesn’t make you mature. …that is why you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name?…what about all the other Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible? You never find their names.” You tell me, is that not an insult to women? I am deeply surprised that many people did not catch that. If he preaches that in the USA, the American women would take him to the cleaners and most women in his church would desert him. You don't utter such degrading things about women. Women are our mothers.

Pastor Chris also tried to convince his congregation that he is not a preacher but a man of God, that a man of God cannot do anything against God because he is a man of God. That again is incorrect! No man of God is perfect. Every man of God is human and imperfect, and as such can act imperfectly. Pastor Chris is not a superhuman man of God incapable of falling into temptation. He's not incapable of falling into sin. Pastor Chris is not more called than Pope Francis who said, "I am a sinner. This is the most accurate definition. It is not a figure of speech, a literary genre. I am a sinner." Pastor Chris is not in any way closer to Jesus than the 12 Apostles who fell short from time to time. Pastor Chris is not more called than me. Even I always tell people that, “I am a lost sheep, found by the Good Shepherd.” Distorting the Bible to save face is not the way to go at this point in his life.

He also claims he is a man called by God, set on course by God. He said he is not a preacher but a man of God. (I don’t understand that distinction actually). He therefore concludes having been called by God does not mean that his wife is also called by God, or is also a woman of God. That comment did not help his case at all. His wife would be really furious on hearing it. Anita is the woman he has been running the church with for several years. But she is now not a woman of God! I am praying for him and his wife to resolve their differences and get back to the ministry of God. Together, they are a beautiful couple. Together, they are stronger. Together, they flourished and would flourish even more. They should not allow this current situation to tear them apart. Marriage is “for better, for worse” not “for better, for better.”

Rev. Marcel E. Okwara, CSsR is a Catholic Priest and writes from Baton Rouge, LA, USA

Feminism.

A dirty word in some circles. When I hear the word, I think of fiery black women with dreadlocks or white women in badly fitting suits. Don’t ask me where these images come from; I don’t know. I do want to know: what’s all the fuss about?

I am a Nigerian woman. I am educated. I hold a job that pays me the same as my male colleagues. I voted in the last election. I can drive. I can own property… Now that I think about it, what exactly does being female forbid me from?

I can’t be out by myself late at night. Common sense. I could be robbed and/or raped. But that isn’t feminism’s war. That’s a function of security. A guy would be vulnerable too. Well, being female puts you at a disadvantage in the corporate world, some say. You can’t be a top-level executive. And they have stats to prove it. I’ll get back to that in a bit.

There are societal norms about how I should interact in society as a woman. But I think that those norms are shaped by the family I grew up in. I was told I was intelligent. Not relative to a boy. Intelligent in my right. The world was my oyster, the sky my limit, my life was charmed. My future was placed before me in pragmatic terms. I could be a career woman like my mother, keep a store close to home like both my grandmothers or be a housewife like many of my cousins. Each was a valid option and growing up, I was exposed to the pros and cons of each.

And this is the thing. A woman should have choices. We may not always agree with those choices (to stay with an abusive husband, to never marry, to take up a job, to become a housewife, to drop out of school) but they’re hers.

I was taught to respect men, to honour the man I would eventually marry. I like to think that my future husband was taught to respect women, like my brother was taught, like my sons will be. But I was also taught to pay for my drink. To be content with what I had. To earn my money without selling my dignity.

Society didn’t teach me this. Family did.

Yesterday, I took a male friend out to dinner. I called the waitress over. I requested the menu. I ordered. And when we were done, I requested the bill. When she got to our table, the waitress made to give it to him. I stretched out my hand to take it. She ignored me, and still pushed it to him. He smiled and handed it to me. The look on her face as I counted out the money from my wallet was priceless. Was I offended? No. Amused, more like. And frankly, I considered it too small to hold a grudge. I don’t blame society, I understand that it’s a function of her family and upbringing.

And then, there are bars/restaurants/clubs who refuse entry to unaccompanied women. On one hand, I find it amusing that a public establishment would seek to make moral choices for its patrons. On the other hand, I would boycott such an establishment. If you don’t want my custom, why would I force it on you? My own money? But I also think that this is a petty battle, and one I wouldn’t waste effort on.

What battles would I be interested in? Poverty alleviation. I hear of families that send only their sons to school because they think their daughters could do no better than to marry well. But often, these families can’t afford to send everyone and so they have to make a choice the best they know how. But what if they could afford to send them both? Would they still refuse? I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. And so our battle should be getting them across the poverty line. I know a mother who runs a small kiosk to support her family. Getting a bank loan to expand her business would be difficult. But that’s not because she’s female. Her husband is a vulcanizer (Nigerian term for a person who fixes tyres), and I daresay getting a loan would be difficult for him as well. It’s not really a gender problem, but one of class distinction.

Gender equality battles aren’t complete if we don’t fight for men’s rights, as well. Does this sound odd?

Back to the corporate arena. I overheard female colleagues complain that we aren’t well represented in our company’s leadership. They insist that D & I should be brought to bear. I differ. Leadership should be given to the most capable, not shared between the genders. If I want to be manager (as a male or a female), I have to work harder and longer than my peers to develop the right competencies faster. That’s easier when I’m unencumbered by family commitments. However, if after getting those competencies, I was turned down and the job given to a less competent male, then I would cry foul.

If I have a family, it gets harder. Some jobs are inherently incompatible with raising a family. With a family, I simply will not have enough time to develop those competencies faster than my peers. As a parent, I have a responsibility to raise my child. I can’t balance this with working long hours unless I have a very supportive husband. Let’s say he supports me 100% and he’s willing to take responsibility for our child. If he’s a house-husband, this is easy. But house-husbands aren’t common. Men have not been wired by their families to be house-husbands. So he has a job. Will his job let him close at 3.30 to pick our child from school? Will his job allow him take the afternoon off to take our child to hospital? Or his school’s soccer game? No. Women get those breaks in some companies, men hardly ever. And so this is what I think should be feminism’s cause. Flexible working hours for both sexes, so that each spouse can choose to support the other. Not just women, but men too. My husband should get paternity leave as long as mine so that if I choose to return to work a week postpartum, he can stay home to care for our infant. Amen?

There is the aside that even with these perks, some men would not support their wives’ ambitions. A shame, but that’s all it is. Society (or a movement) cannot force a man to support his wife, it’s a personal choice. The same way it’s a wife’s personal choice to support her husband.

But don’t hand me a promotion because it’s the politically correct thing to do. It’s an insult to my intelligence, and tells me I wouldn’t have been good enough otherwise.

gohome: Messi

and onazi

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