₦airaland Forum

This beautiful boy sorry girl confidently wasted his eh!...... her life

Read this transgender's heartbreaking suicide note he posted hours before killing himself

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17 year old transgender teen Leelah (Josh) Alcorn committed suicide on Sunday Dec. 28th by walking in front of a tractor trailer on a highway in Ohio. A few hours later, her suicide note, which she posted on her Tumblr page through scheduled publishing, went up. In the heartbreaking suicide note, she blamed her death on her religious parents who she said refused to acknowledge her gender and forbade her from transitioning into a girl. Read her suicide note below...
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.
Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is.

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To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.

When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.
When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a “f*** you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.

So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.

At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a s**t which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s f***ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.

Goodbye,
(Leelah) Josh Alcorn
SOURCE

eaglechild:
We want to see them.

We need to know the intellectual ability of the person who wants to be Nigeria's president.

His habitual failures may lie in those papers.

Una no go kill person for nairaland.. Lmao

The list is just another APC lies.
What we asked for is Buhari certificate not Nairaland equivalent ranking

Muslim does not recognize woman

DesChyko:
The average 'black man' is indeed a poor scholar!..

How many of you bothered to click on that link?? There is a notice there which says..

"..This directory is not just composed of graduates of this school, as some of the famous people on this list didn't necessarily earn a degree from U.S. Army War College."

cc: eleojo23 tit anonimi eaglechild

APC supporters should not celebrate yet because the way i see the list........

anonimi:
@ Seun,

I think you should verify this ranking story yourself asap before the reputation of your forum is dragged down.
The web site is just like Wikipedia, i.e. it is open edit.

Anyone can set up a rank list on the web site. Check the right hand corner of the web site and you will see "Create a List".
The OP and his band of FABRICATORS did not even bother to do a good job. How can Colin Powell rank above Dwight Eisenhower who was the 34th President of the US

The 419 people of the Association of Pretending Crooks, APC have continued their obnoxious practice of telling absurd LIES to the Nigerian people whom it seeks to foist a semi-literate old soldier WITHOUT credentials upon.
What a bunch of low lifers

This is the height of IRRESPONSIBILITY and abject CORRUPTION on the part of General Muhammadu Buhari!
QED!!!

I am suspecting the website, knowing fully well what APC and their lies represent. This is another Buhari Anambra inlaw in making

eye4eye:
And why are you crying this early morning?

You seems to be ready for violent act??

To show u how ready we are. 2015 will not be business as usual, shoot @ site other has been given.

eye4eye:
Omo Igbo, how did you know the language of Boko Haram? You must have been an insider to know that.

Foolish Yoruba animal! Hausa slave. Haven't you hear that we ar the one killing your donkey masters?

eye4eye:
I said go and die, you insane dog from the east.

Quote me again and die like a slaughtered goat.

That is the only thing Buhari animal supporters can offer, insult/violence, but i promise you that the violence you and your co donkeys will instigate after 2015 election will consume you and your entire never do well backward family

trotsky2:
ke kin chi kutumar ubanki yar shegiya! ina ruwan mu da yardan ki? betta be capool fa

You are very stupiid by insulting her with Boko Haram language

chamboy:
dnt mind her ooo, b4 dey didn't support ngige.. nw dey are calling for him nw.. yeye dey smell

Carry your Ngige incurable madness comot 4 this thread.

Change indeed!

Buhari is a failure

Ibadan shaaaa

I hope he's going with stomach infrastructure because Yoruba peeps no de take eyes see that one.
This his campaign strategy is dead on arrival.
Somebody tell this lunatic to be careful before touts brake bottle on his head

This fake pastor and a rapiist is going crazy

Ngwakwe:
If President Jonathan denied Lagos State the recent loan guarantee by giving this same excuse to Gov Fashola. Will you accept it let alone justify it?

Obiageli is in trouble...... How is she going answer this one?

Buhari should just be a man and apologize to Lagosians. The cancellation is unjustifiable.

Buhari first coming saw the cancellation of Lagos rail and jailing of almost all Yoruba leaders including Awolowo. Who knows what his second coming will look like

Otti is our man! Say no to Orji stooge

Nigeria and comedy

Ok na

.

Congrat to her. It's not easy