₦airaland Forum

EvilMetahuman:
how many goes did buffon has last year to become number 4 in the world?

Out of context!!! U need to discuss with ur likes for now! With time u will get to a better thinking standard! Dnt jump d gun....

Pls hit her! So you had the common sense to ask if you should hit her? If u can ask! That means u dnt have mental problem. Then since u don't have mental problem, then you know wot 2do......but if u have mental problem, then sorry, I can't help you.

andrew444:
I gave you a good example I did not compare Moses to ronaldo,you have nothing to say,thank you

Then ur example is baseless!!! Be mre realistic with ur e.g's

andrew444:
How many goals did ronaldo score last season?messi scored more than him,even Suarez,did that make them to win it?

So are u comparing Ronaldo n Moses? Do you even know the criteria @ all? Ronaldo helped his team to Champions league, league, and Euro uefa.... Win See, pls before you talk in public, always do ur research and get ur facts right.

Junior66:
Just wondering why this one is advertised. As their children no wan join this kind job they pity us advertise am. At the end of the day na still their distant relatives go get the job, those relatives they don't value.

Try 1st!

IamPatriotic:
Victor Moses remains a huge favourite for the award, any other two of the rest of the nominees could come second and third respectively.

Can u state ur reason pls? I doubt it Sha! How many goals did he score in d last season? Anyway generally African players are dropping in standard.... Out of all the named players, none of them has done anything spectacular ..... The truth be said

biacan:
Never you in your life quote me again

well I jst did!

biacan:
Ma may the creator bring you home safely

Don't you have any other thing you do than to be on nairaland morning, afternoon & night! ... ..... Each time I have some time 2check on latest happenings, I find out u are everywhere everytime.... Ahn ahn

rebirthforgoody:
This is what we called mood swing.that time she distant herself from you is when she is on her dry period and it takes 11 to 14 days.secondly the time she need sexx like tomorrow no they is when she is on wet period

Your english is confusing, pls work on it, thanks.

Even you against your mother n ur husbands family! May be u need 2check ursef

IForgotMyLoginD:
Lol @ "was it your entrance? "

But wait Joey, cos no be trance or house party or rock or techno no mean say it's crap. It's called Afro beat. And true true, it's bigger than you.
Wait, who is he again?

A footballer with a no record performance

So?

candlewax:
I wan f.uck

Augustap

..... Abeg who dey there!!! Mke una hold dis guy oh! Na so one of my old neighbor craze take start oh!

pointblank247:
God bless you for making sense. a girl was raped and some eddiots left the matter and started talking of her age as if there is an age that is good to be raped. once again thank you for making sense even when dimwits have taken over nairaland

Yeepa, this is triple much! Oh... All this yab for 1 person...

EWAagoyin:
This is how generational curse starts... You can't cheat and go free even if think you're free... Useless men everywhere...arrant nonsense

Are u a woman?

Senseless idea! I perceive indirect force!!!

End time lovers.... Sme scrappy heads be having infatuation and think it's love....

teresafaith:
The oyinbo woman is beautiful despite her age,


And for the hungry looking skinny guy
I place curse on you and you alone if you ever think just think o to scam this innocent woman, you will never know PEACE

No wonder!

The man on red cap though!

iamJ:
[color=#59576F] nothing fine here

Cake, persons, building all ugly

Pomo lifestyle [/color]
[img]http://2.bp..com/-p9whylrqliM/Ud3R74x6NnI/AAAAAAAAN0A/nhChnQ6LnCw/s1600/adam-levine.gif[/img]


#No Filter Attitude

You forget true prophetess are not materialistic , no matter what the children offer her! She will wisely decline....

Liar

His hairstyle shows it all!!

..... Sales strategy!!!

Op that is a wrong picture message! Must you post a fake picture? He wore another native, not the pic u posted! I dnt knw when it has become by force to post and those mods too will not verify.....b4 putting it on FP

nairaman66:
Unless that car is insured very well by a reputable insurance company! That guy cannot sleep well tonight! #Fact

U mean one night or a whole year! That jeep is 25m

Immatex:
Bride Price Payment

Immatex of NB, I sight you... Na me ur guy!!!

selflessmaya:
when ppl say never hit your wife, they mean never become the aggressor. what is happening to to you is domestic violence and your wife is abusing you emotionally and physically. you need to leave that woman fast. she's poison! don't try to change her, don't blame yourself for anything, just, cut her loose!

EDIT: so I just read the old article you included in the link, i change my mind. with more insight to this:
OP, I dont mean this in an insensitive way, your wife has some deep issues and must have suffered some intense psychological trauma to cause her to feel a lot of bitterness and act out in sadism when angry, the knife, the fork, hitting you with a shoe on your head and not stopping when you didnt even react!! this last one is a huge red light, something is really wrong with your wife, she loves to inflict pain and if her personality is as contrast as u say, that everyone thinks she's this sweet girl, then whatever is wrong with her runs really deep, it's not normal at all to keep hitting a person with a shoe on the head when they're not fighting back, she wants to hurt you, she wants u to feel pain.

I'm honestly convinced your wife has suffered sexual assault at an early age that led to a break in psyche, she's mastered suppressing her feelings, her nice girl act is not an 'act', she's actually that nice. but when she's angry, all the bitterness buried beneath the surface emerges and she finally deals with all the buried emotion in its magnitude, it overwhelms her and she wants to act out to hit something or punch a wall etc. when she's alone and unhappy, even when she lived with her parents, u really dont want to see/imagine what your wife does to and says to herself, this anger she shows you, she's lived with it for a long time, she's been her own victim till now when she made u her victim. there is nothing she has done to you that she hasn't done to herself times hundred.

if you choose to for better for worse it, find a psychiatrist or psychologist and go with your wife for counselling, your wife, with or without you will never change till she finally begins to work on whatever buried bitterness she's had to live with for years. try to get help together as a family or get a divorce if u would rather not go through it. it's really that simple, your wife will live with whatever has happened for the rest of her life but how she manages the accompanying emotions, her anger and abandonment issues can all be taken care of with a good psychologist and emotional support on your part. educate yourself on the topic of sexual assault and learn the necessary sensitivity training and triggers. counselling will teach you all this.

no, i'm not thinking too far, your wife ticks a lot of boxes:
-extra charming cos of distorted/low self image and need to be accepted
-her over-religiousness is for closure that she needs and like u said her prayers are always for her god to attack ppl for her. even her relationship with god isnt healthy, it's a coping mechanism. the idea of a protector that will attack on her behalf.
-she talks from 12am to 4am alone when you're asleep, OP, your wife is full of a lot of buried emotion, she really wants to talk to someone about something.
-despite being a nice girl, before you married her, she had no friends
-she's very quiet, hardly finishes her words (withdrawn personality, mastered suppresion)

you should never have raised your hands to hit this woman, when she froze for 5 minutes, it's not that she was thinking she overstepped her boundaries, she was actually coming back to her senses, when your wife gets angry, she loses her mind and forgets who she's dealing with. even worse when the person who angered her is male, she reacts with more venom cos subconsciously he represents her aggressor and she wants to hurt him to make him feel pain. she probably has conversations with herself and imagines herself confronting her abuser and being able to hurt him back and make him regret his actions and cries alone cos it's only in her imagination that she can deal with him. when a man makes her defensive in her personal space, she attacks. till u actually hit her, u just represented something that she has bad blood with and now you've added yourself to the list of men that have ruined her.
she has stopped hitting u cos she has buried the incident of the slaps too but OP, the same place it's buried is the same place her demons she's battling are buried, she wont touch you but when her bitterness surfaces when she's alone, this time you're one of her enemies. the resentment is growing and when she sees u, she's filled with such bitterness she shoves u. if u do not intend to fix this marriage OP, walk away NOW. a lot of bitterness is brewing in this woman and if you add yourself to the list, we will read about u in the news the day this woman snaps. the same way u never saw her eyes so red the day she yelled, u will never believe she has it in her to go the extent she'll go, your wife will surprise you.

nigeria does not have a good support system for ppl who have had to deal with the trauma of sexual assault, society takes it lightly too but this is 2017, ppl should educate themselves on this, when we read here everyday '6 yr old girl raped in lagos by 43 yr old man', that girl is someone's future wife and she will NOT just be like everybody else, the scars of her trauma will show one way or another and she'll need extra sensitivity cos she's a "special" case. your wife is not a naturally aggressive person, that i can tell u and it's sad that another human being created this monster in her. OP, this is really not your battle, it's not you she wants to fight, you did not give her all the bitterness she's carrying, so let the slaps u gave her be the last, you wife is a very very bitter scorned woman whose hurt has taken years and years to germinate, the person who hurt her isnt dealing with it, u are. if u add to her bitterness and it gets too much, the person who created 99% of this mess will not be the scapegoat, again it will be u. i haven't dealt with sexual assault personally or with a family member but i have met closely with some of the victims and the effects of sexual assault are too underestimated. ppl should be killed for damaging another human like that.

if u do choose to save your marriage:
apologize profusely for hitting her and become super sweet, if u choose to undo this mess, u have to be ready, sensitive, patient, very educated about this issue and strong for the both of u. if u choose to walk this path, u will watch her fall apart and u have to be ready to help her reassemble.
don't let her hit you, hold her hands and keep holding it and talking to her till she calms down. your wife is actually a very sweet person, the person you knew her to be when u married her exists, just buried under layers of bitterness. i dont blame u at all for hitting her, there's nothing illogical in hitting someone who came at u with a knife, i can understand why u snapped but let it be the last time. your wife wants to talk to you, listen to her, she talks when you sleep, when you leave she follows you, it's annoying but it's her subconscious, she really wants to reach out. listen to your wife! make out time and let her rant, she will talk about so many things, no matter how messed up it sounds, keep listening. then talk back about whatever and if she interrupts and tries to talk, let her talk, just listen. u can stop the midnight talks by changing it to day time. stop sleeping in your sitting room, move back to your bed.

when you're ready to make the move, try pulling it out of her, on top of your new sweetness, be extra extra sweet to her for the whole week like her sh!t dont stink, on a friday(so if she spills, you'll both have the weekend to grieve), make sure she's in a nice awww darling mood and when you're holding her, just brush by a conversation u heard at the office that made u really sick "about a dude that assaulted some teenage girl and how mad it makes you that men like that are still walking around breathing and if they ever dared it with someone u care about, u'll deal with them and how no matter what she was wearing or where she was, no one has the right on another person's body without consent and the worst part is there are girls out there who have experienced this and told no one and the animal didnt get caught"
stay on the topic of sexual assault and follow body language, dont change the topic, be gentle, when she cracks, try to get her to talk, say what u have to "she can tell u anything, u wont judge, u love her from here to japan, if it affects her it affects you, u are both one and she can confide in u etc" when she talks, encourage her to keep talking, show that you're listening, console her all you can, cry with her even if u have to force the tears though i doubt you'll have to force them, make her see that whatever sunken place she's in, you've somehow gotten there too but dont cry more than her haba. tell her that both of u will go for counselling together, find a good therapist and go with her till she makes progress to go alone. make sure u find a therapist before u try to get her to talk about this and once she talks, the upcoming monday, begin therapy. and dont expect to work this out in 2 days, give yourself time like 4-6wks to build the emotional environment of trust and zero judgement to be able to access her when the time comes. note: she has to open up to you before you can go for therapy.

-u can expect her to go into depression for a while, she might need anti-depressants, sleeping pills too, she will be dealing with a lot of emotion once she finally lets someone in.
-NEVER EVER make a joke about her incident or say something mean to her about it... NEVER EVER!!! NEVER EVER!!! I MEAN IT OP.
-if u want to divorce her and not work through this, which is honestly the easy way out for you, then pls dont bring up anything i just told u here, dont taunt her over this, dont ask her about abuse or anything, just let the marriage end and pretend u didnt even read this. she will still live with herself so she has it heavy already.

i really do sympathize with you, u have found yourself in a very unfortunate position and no decision u make will be easy. sadly enough, i feel sorry for your wife too, she's really lived her hell and she's putting you through it. both of u dont deserve this. i also applaud you for all the grace you've shown, it's very hard to break the cycle of abuse, abused ppl mostly pass it on to others, maybe not in the form they received it but they leave their mark, so i can imagine how strong a person u were to endure all the emotional & physical abuse. and no, slapping her back was not abuse, u defended yourself full stop! dont feel sorry for yourself, just do what u have to do: stay & do the work to mend this if u can or leave if u cant.
u have to accept that your wife has issues that cause aggression when it flares. in time, u will also notice she's protective of children or animals or things she pictures as defenseless, it'll show in her mothering, not wanting your kid to go out, being too clingy to the child, convinced the big bad world is out to get her child, all that u will both work through in due time. once you can get your wife to show you the dark place she's in, it'll not be her safe place anymore, she can't hide there anymore, whatever comes to surface will be dealt with by both of you and u will finally live with the smiling smiling girl u married. good luck OP

You have even written more than the Op asked of! Haha wetin happen nah And who do u expect 2read all these , I can bet u, Op sef no go read quarter.... Alaseju

passyhansome:
CHILD OF GOD

O je bi! *U FOR BE CHILD OF DEVIL*

passyhansome:
PLS WHO IS BUHARI?

President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. GCFR Only few people among the millions in Nigeria can attain such heights. By the way, who are you pls?

emmasege:
It's time Jonathan let the cat out of the bag and told the nation what really transpired under his watch, since Buhari's sole agenda is to discredit him (Jonathan). There is no point keeping quiet any longer. We know when the ship sinks, all its inhabitants will go down with it and these include Jonathan and Buhari (the self-acclaimed Mr. Integrity).

And besides, why is no one talking about the $25 billion corruption saga between Buhari and Baru, again?

You made no sense!!!

Where is the crown prince? Is it true they must not see each other again face2face? Any1?