₦airaland Forum

charles009:
Hello Folks,

I need your urgent advise. I am married with 2 toddlers and 2 infants.(4 kids)

I am currently an investment banker with a fairly good job.
I've saved up some cash in the range of =N=8m.

I've got a few questions please, all answers will be appreciated.

*would that sum be enough to travel and at least settle in Canada.
* what are my chances of getting a job
*how is life generally in Canada

Your advise would be appreciated please...

Jotrade:
My guy the best advice I can give to you is to look for a very nice girl in which country you are base. I am a Nigerian living in Canada am talking from experience. Ninety percent of the people I know who went back home to get married later regrets that decision.

Justkatty:
Seeing this post made me realize that, there are still men who look beyond the physical appearance before approaching a lady, though my advice maybe coming late but notwithstanding I'll still chip in my little advice. [b]Don't allow that mind set of I'm established already to make you lost your ordain spouse [/b]think about it. Obrigado

ecolime:
@OP

Being abroad shouldn't be your sole selling point. What type of person are you? What is your faith, tribe and value system?

DAramis:
It was an interesting read from the first page though the thread was derailed at some point. The beauty of a forum is the ability to see things from different perspectives of individuals rather than one perspective.

I wish the Op well in his quest and may it be easy for him as in seeks out that which his heart seeks. As for the West, time shall come they will simply move back to stone age but they should be kind enough to keep other continent out of it.

My only advice is this: Everyone has standards classified into Major and minor ones but there may be a situation where you will need to chip off one or two things from the minor list and work towards actualizing his or her aim without losing out entirely.

AnonymousRebec:
My dear, my value matches yours. I'm below 26 and my portfolio is good enough for my age. I'm an igbo girl who prays to marry an igbo man. I am open to having a conversation with you if it's ok with you.

ugreat:
Op how far

Eddy4400:
1 spacious bedroom with ensuite bathroom for rent in a 2 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom condo townhouse in Ottawa, Ontario

Is it furnished?: Yes, room has a queen bed too, just move in with your bag
Rent: 900 Cad/month (All utilities included)
Location: Barrhaven/Nepean area
Lease Term: Flexible
Laundry in-unit: Yes
Parking: Yes
Availability: Now (rent will be pro-rated for remaining days in July)
Additional Information: A bus stop is right across the house, close to shoppers drugmart, metro, walmart, dollarama, CIBC, RBC, etc
N/B: for single females only, pls pm for more info

Diamond23:
Quit what?
He is selfish and self centered. That is an act of wizardry

UjuJoan2:
I guess it's all a gamble. A lot of women have put their marriages before careers and gotten burnt as well. It could go either way, really.

What matters is the kind of man she is planning to marry. Is he worth the gamble?

I myself would quit any job if I thought the man would not turn on me the moment I stopped earning and making financial contributions. I don't think anything justifies newly married couples living apart.

So the question remains . . . Is the man worth the sacrifice? Only the OP can answer that question.

mutter:
Great job.
This is so important in society..ensuring the dead are given a dignified farewell.

Futuragetty:
It's ok to be worried. at least from your post, you seem like a nice guy who wants a blissful marriage. I really don't see any advantage of getting married to a younger woman. The gap is much. like you, My dad wanted the same thing, a younger woman for a wife. It didn't work for him.

I feel you're extremely selective.
I was that way until I found out that you can't really find that perfect partner,
what you need is Someone who would push you in the direction of your dreams, and believe in you more than you have ever believed in yourself.

Do not look for a wife, look for a FRIEND then make her your wife .







And Na 6 Years remain before you clock 40. Please, do not rush. Best wishes!

DonroxyII:
Haba, Shogun Laye ni (Life na War ) ... This is like going to War not Marriage anymore ooo ...

Chai, Oyinbo has used Civilisation to bastardise everything .... This is like a War manual , Manoeuvre and counter strategy

Mryacks:
You are saying @ 36years old it is"too old" to find a woman and marry......what a pity! Smh

Boss13:
I think I can advise you on this. When you say North America, I believe you are in Canada. Americans don't say North America. Anyways I will say without mincing words, you are not old at all. Even at 40, you are not old. Men age like wine, but women get to hit the wall as they get older. All your options are risky, but option 3 is less risky than others. However, whatever option you choose, do not fail to get a Prenup. You are in the western world where women's rights are recognized more than men. Regardless of the option you pick, have it at the back of your mind that WOMEN CHANGE after marriage. Hence, you MUST PROTECT YOURSELF. Many young men in North America and even Europe are no longer considering marriage and I am sure you have heard of MGTOW or REDPILL and if you haven't, please do - study up quickly and get updated.

Marriage is good, don't get me wrong. However, western values have bastardized the ideals of marriage and replaced it with Hollywood fantasies, add feminism into that equation, what you get is women and men with the wrong beliefs of marriage. You HAVE TO SEEK THE ADVICE OF A DIVORCE LAWYER before you get married. The hourly rate in Canada is between $250 - $500 per hour. Spend the money to listen to how you can protect yourself from marriage before you sign the marriage certificate. If you do not protect yourself you will lose all control regardless of the option you choose.

Also, do not forget the PRENUP I mentioned above. When you start courting your potential wife, ask her about the idea of PRENUP, and listen to her response. If she refuses, move to the next one. In your PRENUP, have your lawyer draft EVEN THE BASIC NECESSITIES such as SEX, the timing, frequency, favorite position, and even hour. Include the consequences, expectations, and financial responsibilities in the event of the dissolution of the marriage. Do not JOKE about this. Inform your potential spouse to have a lawyer review the PRENUP before signing and sign and include her initials on all pages of the PRENUP.

My brother, even after a PRENUP, you are still not safe from a devilish woman. Next, you must set up a mechanism to protect your assets such as incorporating your assets either using an incorporated company or an LLC and transfer all your assets to that incorporation - your house, your car, your investments, and even your savings and have the incorporation borrow these assets for your utilization. For example, if you have purchased your home, transfer it to incorporation (a numbered company is easy to create) and have the company draft a rental agreement recognizing you as a tenant. You pay your mortgage as rental to your company and your company pays the mortgage with the same rental fees from you. Do the same with your car and other investments. Your lawyer can assist you with this. In this situation, no woman can take your property from you. Your company can eject her after the lease agreement is over. These mechanisms MUST have been implemented before you even dream of courting any woman. This means you should have these mechanisms like YESTERDAY.

Don't get twisted with LOVE. Marriage is not love. Hollywood and Advertisement companies created the ILLUSION called LOVE. Marriage is DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to your family. I am saying this so you don't get stupid picking up your wife and stay stupid in your marriage. Once your wife does not live up to her expectations in the marriage, the consequences in the PRENUP kicks in immediately and you seek redress. Both the PRENUP and SAFETY MECHANISM provides you with a safety net to avoid losing CONTROL in your marriage and lose your asset in the event of a divorce. Oga, don't start saying your marriage will not end in divorce in Jesus's name. That's bullshit and a recipe for DISASTER. You have to plan for it and protect yourself. Even in Nigeria, I know politicians and business moguls who implement the SAFETY MECHANISMS I outlined above.

Finally, I know you are pressured and concerned about marriage. Don't worry. You are the PRIZE. You appear to be well settled and doing well for yourself. Many young women will rush you even in North America but don't be fooled. I don't know if your parents are alive, if they are alive seek their assistant in picking a wife for you. Give them your criteria - Age, Shape, Height, Educational Level, Religion, Tribe, and Skills which includes the ability to cook, clean, and sticking to traditional values. Also, the woman has to be from a stable family and that means both her father and mother are still in their marriage and they are doing well financially, including all her siblings. Do not be an avenue to alleviate anybody from poverty. You might be shocked I said you are the PRIZE. Yes, you are. Women are the PRODUCT and men are the BUYER, if you do not put a ring on her finger, she will NEVER BE MARRIED. Many men do not know this and they keep on SIMPING. Now, do you want to put a ring on someone who would DESTROY you?

You can hit me up for more advice. Don't mind the excessive emboldened words. I want you to note them. By the way, I live in Canada.

Mariangeles:
Do you have a sister or close female friend who could match you up with someone that fits your spec?

Ybaby:
They pretend because you appear judgemental!

The way you painted yourself as holier than Jesus.... gentle, ambitious, church man means morally upright

The way you painted them - pretentious, only after abroad man etc

You want a respectful wife and that honestly is not too high a demand and the best way to get that is to be a respectful husband ! Not her age, not her location etc

You will attract who you are internally ! (Read slowly)

If you are a kind, respectful and unpretentious unassuming person internally that is what you will attract because is is law.

Law of homogeneity says like attracts like.

Not what you want your pastor or parents to believe you are but what you truly are.

If you are currently attracting pretentious girls..... you know how to change that. It is by not painting yourself a saint and others a sinner.


You are no saint!

Ejenavi18:
This thread is just too funny abeg..
Op, GuyInTheMirror, hope you've gotten the advice you seek?

Creamychic:
I think the point he's trying to make is that, like every other option, there are no guarantees.
Of course there are fantastic ladies in Nigeria that would make superb wives, BUT, you've further reduced your chances of finding one by putting up all these requirements that some people see as unnecessary.

If you want to explore the option of coming to Nigeria later to find a spouse, how do you think that'll work? considering you've only recently left and you were unsuccessful in all the time you lived here. Do you think you were not intentional enough ?

izzou:
[color=royalblue] Because it is a Superstory approach, from the stables of Wale Adenuga productions. It only exists in your head

Are all the regular guys in Nigeria happily married to good wives?
So once you automatically reside here, you'll get a good wife abi?

People like you are so careful and in the end, you end up with the same mistakes of someone who was careless

The problem I see on this thread is you: You are not open minded. You haved zeroed options because of what you feel, or what people agreed with you here(faceless people for Heaven's sake)

But that's your problem sha. [/color]

annex1:
Another man missing the point. So when you finally meet this remaining two, wont your current fixed mindset also judge them as that - only being interested in his North America?

Having an open mindset is the best thing you can gift yourself. Besides what is bad in a lady wanting to be engaged with someone abroad? Even boboz will be ecstatic at this prospect.

If you read my posts, I spoke about mirror guy making TRADE OFFs because he cant have it all.

A. So yes he feels if he marries some Nigerian girl he is going to offer her North America (good trade)
Now look for what she is also good at and going to offer him and the marriage. Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multi-nationals, single, industrious and living effing comfortably. At the same time they'll still fancy the option of relocating. Appreciate the fact that in difficult Nigeria she is doing well, consider how elevating her to your North America will benefit you and the marriage. As for attitude, as a sound young man and "christian" that you claim, at some point you will always know if someone's attitude is off - by discussing various diverse topics and situations.
So tell me how will he give those remaining two a chance when he already has a fixed mindset?

B. Marry someone in North America that dont care about where you are. He is considering this option and this option eliminates his fear of Nigerian girls feigning love because of his "being in North America"
But NO, he wont because they are feminists and not under 26. Worst of all they like divorce.
So again why dont you make a TRADE OFF by accepting and appreciating the profits of equality in gender, marriage and household duties. Some men would jump at this. AGAIN, if you truly uphold respect and equality in marriage, why would you be afraid of her divorcing you if arent bent on frustrating her like you may or would have with no repercussion if yall were in Nigeria?

My Brother, you cant cut your cake and have it. This is marriage, you must make trade offs.

pocohantas:
They have landed. They are not yet complete.

saucecode:
As in,she should not even be having an opinion here.
Dat girl na the perfect sterotypical hustler for abroad husband

pocohantas:
Seems anyone that doesn’t cuddle you is bashing you, but you were being objective by stereotyping women.

Mr Perfect, why is it so hard finding a perfect woman? Are you the last of your kind?

Look at the guy in the mirror and FIX yourself.

pocohantas:
He saw, just like his younger brothers that full NL- he probably called them DESPERATE. I told those those ones to calm down, the journey is ahead.


From his writeup, you can tell his kind. Always acting so perfect and every other person is the problem. He should better pick his poison.




Very simple

cooooooks:
My first comment was an insult, let me now speak my mind:
- marry from abroad.

- your second option is actually similar to what I'm currently doing. The difference is that she didn't know I was going back, we actually love each other and had known each other for a few years.

- everybody is wise now. A good/bad wife will be good/bad whether they are abroad or not.

- again, you're better off marrying a 30-36 year old in N. America. If you have to marry a Nigerian, check well, look for a best friend. Join youth only discussion groups. I know a few that hold 1-2 hour discussions every Sunday evening.

- also, expand your horizons. Why will you swim all the way across the Atlantic to only marry from your village. There are other Africans, other continents, etc. Moreso if you're in academics

- Be prepared for equality in the real sense of the word. Even if you're bringing a wife from Naija, plan for equality. Equality in working and equality in responsibility.

- education should not be a stumbling block to marrying someone from Naija. Education is freely available in N. America.

- childhood friends!!!!!!