₦airaland Forum

-when the person interviewing you at
your new job is the same guy you insulted
in traffic.
You go apologise tire.
-When you tell your friend "your
mama!!!" and turn around and see his or
her mum staring at you.
Meeehn, u go collect plenty slap.
-When Mosquito lands on your father's
bald head and u try to kill it with your
bare hands.
You must provide d proof ohh, or else...:
-When Patience Ebele is ur English
Teacher before WAEC.
Na A1 u go get, no worry.
- when you update"salary things" on
facebook and your landlord
comments "on point"""""
U go travel go villa by force.
- when you're in a bus and you throw
away #500 note instead of gala wrapper.
O'boy, E don red be dat! cry
- when ur dad works at NEPA and they
take light and you shout God punish
NEPA.......and he's there with u.
Na ur mama go start topay ur school
fees.
- when u dey on top okada and the
okada man dey ping...
Na automatic ticket to Baba God be dat.:s
- when you finish eating in an eatery and
u find out ur wallet fell out in a taxi...
Start to prepare ur grammar
- when Usain Bolt chases u with a
Cutlass...
Ol'boy, just stop beg am.
- when u give beggar#5000 note instead
of #50.
Generosity go change mind
Hahhahahahahhahaaaa
Add yours let the fun Continue

baralatie:
do you know that what you described is called forceful harssment and she can get you arrested

Watch out for the second part soon

dalyricist:
I see prospect.......
Can I share with my Facebook friends, boss?

Yes

I struggled with the girl before me, weakening her with my strong hold. She kept quiet and lifted up her face to me.
“Emmy i beg of you, let me be. Just leave me alone. Things shouldn’t happen between us” she pleaded passionately.
I stared into her eyes, breathing deeply. Yea she was right.
I very much knew i was doing a terrible thing, but just couldn’t resist her charms because she was simply magnificient.
I was so bewitched by her beauty and she equally was everything i expected in a woman. She was so comely, homely, beautiful and sexy. But unfortunately she was my bestfriend’s girl which really got me in a very bad position.
I was simply torn between doing the right thing and letting her go or doing the wrong thing and satisfying my needs.
But no i couldn’t just let her go. She was worth more than anything to me.
I swallowed hard, brought down my head and kissed her softly. She struggled once again, drew away from me and landed a very terrible slap on my face.
“Jeez think Emmy. Just look at what you are doing. Take a look at your life” she screamed.
******
Hmmmmm, My name is Emeka, fondly called Emmy by friends and I used to be a guy who was good in getting his way in everything. Though i’m nothing but an ordinary graduate who was lucky to inherit a little fortune from his late parents.
I owned two mega fuel stations in Benin city which really made me very comfortable. As for the girl who just slapped me, she teached in one of the secondary schools within the city and i got to know her from my b###m friend Tony who introduced her to me a couple of months back and from that moment i began disturbing the girl with all i got.
She kept refusing my advances but it never stopped me from knowing that she cared for me because if she didn’t she would have reported me to my friend from the very first moment i began showing interest in her.
So sit back and relax as i take you guys to a world of s#x, Romance, Adventure, Fun and Revenge…..
To be continued.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
A wise man once told me that he never dates a girl with up to 2000 friends on facebook. In his words
'she got up to 2000 friends, she a ho'
Im yet to see a babe with up to 2000 friends who isnt a ho

I don't quiet support your view

Not all guys will cheat on you,
some guys are faithful to their
partners.
..
Not all guys will break your heart,
some will give you
the love you deserve.
..
Not all guys will hurt you,some of
them just want to
see a smile on your face.
..
Not all guys want sex from
girls,some of them want a real
relationship.
..
So, stop saying that all men are
the same.
Instead of saying that all men are
the same,
say that All men You've dated are
the same.!
Besides, Have you tried all of
them?
..
And if a guy broke your heart,
cool down..
Sooner or later,
He's going to be sorry he lost
you, & Its going to
be too late for him to get you
back,
because you've gotten a guy
• who pampers you like a baby..
• who treats you like a queen..
• who serves you breakfast in
bed..
• who kisses you passionately..
• who makes you the boss..
• who respects your body..
• who cuddles you when you're
on your period..
• who is not too busy for you..
• Who calls you many sweet
names..
• who is ready to make you his
wife..
• Who is so scared of loosing
you..
• who spoils you with money..
• who will wait until ur wedding
night before
having sex with you..
• who values your opinions..
• and a guy who gives you rest
of mind.
so....stop worrying. Forget the
past,
forget the pain and remember
what an
incredible woman you are.

Not all guys will cheat on you,
some guys are faithful to their
partners.
..
Not all guys will break your heart,
some will give you
the love you deserve.
..
Not all guys will hurt you,some of
them just want to
see a smile on your face.
..
Not all guys want sex from
girls,some of them want a real
relationship.
..
So, stop saying that all men are
the same.
Instead of saying that all men are
the same,
say that All men You've dated are
the same.!
Besides, Have you tried all of
them?
..
And if a guy broke your heart,
cool down..
Sooner or later,
He's going to be sorry he lost
you, & Its going to
be too late for him to get you
back,
because you've gotten a guy
• who pampers you like a baby..
• who treats you like a queen..
• who serves you breakfast in
bed..
• who kisses you passionately..
• who makes you the boss..
• who respects your body..
• who cuddles you when you're
on your period..
• who is not too busy for you..
• Who calls you many sweet
names..
• who is ready to make you his
wife..
• Who is so scared of loosing
you..
• who spoils you with money..
• who will wait until ur wedding
night before
having sex with you..
• who values your opinions..
• and a guy who gives you rest
of mind.
so....stop worrying. Forget the
past,
forget the pain and remember
what an
incredible woman you are.

Ladies…
.
1. Never depend on your
boyfriend like he is your father,
show him that before he met
you, you are comfortable and
without him you can still be
comfortable.
2. Do not detest a man because
he is not rich. Rather remember
that, he who is rich today, he
may not be rich tomorrow and
he who is poor may not be poor
forever, Richness is like a table
fan, it Rotates.
3. Never you say real men doesn't
come to you when all about you
is fake, dress code, lifestyle, your
name, background etc.
4. Don't say men are just after
your body when you show off all
your body parts. The way you
dress is the way people address
you.
5. Do not say you have dated him
for years yet he doesn't want to
move the relationship to the next
level, my sister every relationship
must not end in marriage.
6. Do not say all men are the
same due to a heartbreak,
remember even the bible said: as
our facial aspect differs same
goes to our characters and
lifestyles.
7. Do not hate relationship
because of past experience,
rather know that every
relationship is a lesson and I tell
you, never you close your eyes
because of the bad things you
have seen because you will never
know when the good one passes
by if your eyes are close, don't
give up on love.
8. Do not be in a hurry to marry
because as God knows your
birthday same goes to your
death day, he knows all our
profile because we are only like
pencils in the hand of the
creator, when your time comes it
will happen just like death.
9. You say guys are not serious
with you, when the background
of your pictures are always in a
hotel room, Joints and inside
different cars when you’re not a
mechanic, on Facebook you have
more than 4353 friends, you are
on bbm with over 1000 bbm
contacts, you’re on 2go with
more than 2000friends not to
talk of Badoo. Whatsapp, Eskimi,
and many more. Which means
you are emotionally confused.
10. Always know that things
happens the way God wants it

Got this from a friend thought it wise to share so that we can reflect:
Most times when we walk into big malls, boutiques, supermarkets, we never question their prices.
We pay exactly what we see on the price tags and even hand out tips to the staff. But the moment we are out of these shops and want to buy banana, our bargaining game gets off to the roof. Poor widow with 12 hungry children at home tells you banana is N100.
She even takes out her time to explain how difficult it was for her to even buy it, how the economy is so tough. But we insist that if it's not N50, we are not paying.
Some of us even step back into our cars and make to drive away. But because 'half bread is better chin chin', this woman is forced to call you back and sell to you at little or no gain.
In her heart, she cries, she's worried about how she'll survive with her children. She silently reassures herself that 'It's well. God will definitely provide' while you happily chop the luscious banana. Take some seconds out and think about this, guys.
Please stop the hard bargains with small vendors like these. They do business not to buy designer bags, Gucci shoes but to LIVE and EAT!