₦airaland Forum

SUPERPACK:
go and marry young man.

I'm not a young man. Must everybody marry?

From experience guys that have played such game, any regrets? Been avoiding them but the temptation just heighten this week cos I work from home.

Guro:
Guys please I need someone who is skilled in php and can set up a Linux vps

If you have the above skills, please kindly quote me now!!!!

I have a job for you!

Let's talk. Can do it for you. Package installations and all that.

Xbee007:
The new ISWAP video is very terrible. The terrorists were so swift with overwhelming force. Nigerian troops had no fighting chance.

Can I get a link to the video?

jorion:
You know this word thrown around by females was supposed to make them less of objects and more of an active participant in our society. But I have observed that they are not up-to the task of upholding to societal responsibilities that they rather be objectified like they were decades ago. That aside, men should stop making a lady their epicenter. If you want to be happy as a person especially as a man, tie your life to a goal not a person especially a female . A goal like a project, business etc and whoever u r inviting to share a life with must form a sync and complement u in such a way that makes u better. When such ppl come into ur life, they make u more vibrant, creative and innovative. The mistake guys make is thinking that they can buy whatever they want and that's what girls pick on. The girl who said that girls don't want our love but our value is very right. Remember, behind every successful man is a woman. Nobody said behind every potentially successful man is a woman. Stop fighting for someone's love and validation and start becoming goal oriented

Great advise bro. Guess I wasn't too clear about myself which I didn't reveal to her. Thank God this is a faceless forum so I can say this. I was earning 7 figures in naira a month from a tech startup until we short on funds and working to level up more funds. Have an investment/startup that worst case cashflow for a month is 6 figures in USD when launch operations. I have rejected some job offers with travel opportunity to work on things I believe in and that, coupled with other factors led to things being tough for now. What I have learnt is not to reveal your earnings to women even my mother doesn't know how much I earn. What I do is talk about some of my investment and potentials of it. Some ladies are not just worth the time and can't see beyond their nose. They just want a Zuckerberg, Dangote or Bill Gate forgetting that they put in work to get to where they are. Thinking back, I am now connecting why she was moving her things away from my apartment little by little.

This was someone that needed to do an operation of 1million naira and I really wanted to fund it when things clear. I pray things clear out on time and I will still give her the fund for it cos it's a life threatening ailment, if she will accept even though she doesn't pick my calls or reply my messages. All in all, I give God the glory cos he knows best. May we never make the mistake of loving the wrong person.

VaselineCrew:
Look at that EVIL illeterate baboon at 1:18 throwing God knows what at the camera guy, barely missed him by inches


EVIL people, no wonder he can't afford ticket like a normal human

The idiots throw stone at you when they catch you recording them on camera.

nwachukwu9:
What she means is that she is not sexually attracted to you, but she loves the gifts you give her and other things, but i cant have sex with you.You would be suprised that the guy she is having sex with does nothing for her, To be sincere Sex is not love, It can be bought from any lady if you know how to purchase it, But True love cant be bought with Money

Well, you're right in a way on the gift. She's always telling and showing me things she needs. Shoes and bags and some stuffs which she wants me to take note of though haven't bought them due to current situation. I think this is cause I innocently revealed to her what I did for my ex during a friendly conversation when we met early this year just to catch up as friends.

donjobill:
You should be glad that this experience is leading you to take a practical lesson towards emotional maturity.

Each person, as you are well aware, develops his or her values and priorities as he or she goes through life; changing some, discarding some or adding some. Often, many people share similar values and priorities.

No! it's not your belief system or your definition of love that you have to change. What you need, is to learn and cultivate the ability to identify a girl whose priorities and values compliment yours. Learn to discriminate how to choose the wheat from the chaff!

You chose the wrong one, and you should be glad she has fallen off when she realised you're getting too emotionally entangled with her, thereby saving you future serious heartbreaks. Her values and priorities are at variance with yours. Deep down, she's quite aware that her core vibration is not in unison with yours. And that's what she has made known to you.

We are constantly learning through the experiences that we pass through. We learn from setbacks just as we learn from the little progresses that we make.

Cheers!

Thank you very much. Will keep this in mind.

SixDividedByTwo:
of course! the same way you can love someone but not like them all the time. listen to this kid.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfcQSjmhMlc

but relationship is a two way street tho.

folake4u:
.

Why shine teeth. Are you one of them "I love you but I'm not in love with you'

Amakavula:
You people never listen..

Men desire female love. Your brain is wired to crave female love. Women do not want your love. What women truly want is value ; what you are or achieve. Telling a woman you love her without serious value is making her angry MN

She wants your value; your status, your wealth, your protection, your comfort. Only when you have value that can you excite a woman by telling her you love her. Only because it means that she is being given a gift, the transfer of your value. A king makes a Queen, a President makes a First lady. Musician, make baby mama, Famous

I disagree on the bolded statement. A virtuous woman can also make a man. A Queen can make a King out of a man.

What's the difference between what you just defined that women want and a gold digger?

That means when things go South, she goes Nut. If a Lady can't see beyond her nose then I'm sorry for her. A man wants a Lady he can trust in order to build a happy home. It's a long journey where I'm coming from and she knows. I even opened up my future plans and business investments that just needs time to mature which at first I was hesitant to do but just to give her a glimpse of the future and not to look at the present situation which is not that bad when I count my blessings.

Coming at me with I love you but I'm not in love with you, you're a great guy and we can still be friends BS talk just made me a fool. I don't keep female friends cos I am kind of emotional esp when they're married. This is someone I wanted something serious with her after she stylishly begged after I invited her over. Guess she is weighing her options now based on your definition of what women want and if so then Ladies should get ready to be heartbroken more cause guys like me will start doing 'Tunbo tunbo baskilaba ..'.

Thank you guys, guess I'm learning the hard way. Never had anything to do with love or serious relationship until I crossed 30 and getting to middle of it. Guess I'd just have to change my belief system or definition of love.

Some Ladies are just wicked players. After playing me the first time because I was struggling, gave her another chance and when things got a little bit difficult, she came up with such nonsense statement. I was really heartbroken. This is someone I really love and care about. Later they say they want to marry a friend that understands them instead of a stranger. I'm just feeling dead inside.

#NeverAgain #GoodGuyDiesToday

Why is Nairaland pushing Biafran issues to front-page this days. I thought the forum banned such issues being discussed except seun and his mods have ulterior motive.

ChiefAzubuike:
I was there live. What happened was that some boys from my faction wanted to come on stage. Another group then came from nowhere saying we weren't registered. Felabration wey we don dey do for almost 15 years now. What nonsense. Still we stood our ground but they get strong head. They started breaking bottles and we broke our own bottles too. Everybody con dey break bottle. Thank God for police wey come. Kalakuta republic for scatter finish.

The funny thing about your comments is that I always stop half way through to check the writer when what I'm reading is that making sense and you're always the culprit.

bettercreature:
I can’t! Religion is the biggest threat to human existence and that is why China is doing everything to destroy it,over 1.5 Muslim and Christian are in detention in China right now going through reorientation
I am catholic but I don’t take it serious.Religion is a scam! 98 percent of crimes being committed around the world are directly related to religion
Even my so called Catholic Church is presently under investigation in several countries because of their crimes and cover ups

Why spit your family to make a point. Salvation is personal though.

mammanbawa:
I think he means is it advisable to go for the rx 350 as a first hand user or he should get a smaller and cheaper car to perfect his driving before going for the SUV?

Op abeg come and buy my Benz

Yea. That's what I mean. But you no answer the question.

ugreat:
Your question is not clear. Maybe you should paraphrase

Done.

Hello guys, need to sample more opinions.

I want to get a car but my friend advice me to get a car of lower cost(within the range of 1m) in order to get use to Lagos roads and driving but I feel it does not matter. Instead I want to go for a Lexus rx 350 '11.

So what's your take on this?

AgentGoat:
You should ashamed of yourself

Okay, I'm ashamed.

deavicky:
nonsence don't try to use ur mother as an excuse.if want them to not say with u, look for an apartment for them also try to be paying the rent. As for ur mothers nothing will be best for her than helping ur siblings. The Bible also acknowledge this. If u love me feed my flocks.

OK seh! But this your Bible quote no be for this mata and I want my mother to start enjoying the fruit of her labor.

stuffs4me:
This OP is very wicked. How can you keep your siblings hungry. You deserve to be shot in a firing squad.

Come and fire me na. for being 'wicked'
But on a serious note, don't jump into conclusion. I still have half bag of rice that I bought since December last year which has not gone halfway and still struggling to eat cause I don't eat much, there is beans, oil, fresh tomatoes and pepper, condiments, a carton of noodles, potatoes, cereals, beverages and cooking gas. Nothing stops them from cooking and I restock my fridge with at least 20k for the month. Let me stop here cos I believe you get the point now.
I have never asked anyone to help me take care of any exp. As human you get tired shouldering responsibility especially when you started it at a tender age of 17. I also worked to pay my way to get a degree. Like I said earlier, I pray for more grace and money in order not to complain.

KOPT33:
It is not an easy task to care for your siblings whilst you're still on your way up.

In my apartment right now, I have three siblings, and a nephew and two cousins. That's six grown ass men.

I used to spend 30k on choice food per month when It was just me and the food will last and even spoil, but now, times have changed!

I now spend more than 60k on food per month. I spend more on electricity, I spend more on cleaning materials. My spendings have gone up astronomically.

I can't have women over. My girlfriend hasn't spent a weekend for more than six months now because she doesn't want to be seen as wayward by my family.

But that is by the way. I do eveyrthing that I do because it is going to be over in a short while. I am working hard on getting some money to sort everyone's accomodation problems for them, and I think that should be your next line of action.

It doesn't matter if it is one room apartment in a neat compound, you must help them get their own spaces. There is no greater thing tht you can do for them except this.

Please, don't use food to punish them: your parents didn't deprive you of food so please ensure everyone is well fed. If you are like me, you are not expecting anything in return but believe me, your experiences now is preparing you and teaching you fatherhood. It will motivate you to work harder in order to make more money and see that everyone is comfortable.

Thank you very much. I appreciate the response.

LordKO:
The truth is that most people, especially on this forum, would definitely not understand your stance and longing either because of ignorance or pretense. To people under this category, it will take only acts of either or both servility and self-slavery (continual self-sacrifices) from you towards their interest (your siblings are their interest in this regard) to be considered human and good enough. Unfortunately, they're usually hypocrisy personifies. Loyalty (your loyalty) - which is the best thing one can offer another - can never be enough to them. Kindly don't allow anyone to ruin you.

Create boundaries. Advancement in age always comes with manifestations of individuals ethical leanings. And, believe you me that two adults who don't share the same ethical leanings can never live together harmoniously - it doesn't matter whether the adults in this regard are siblings or has mutual affection for each other or used to be best of friends. At best they'll be living as frenemies which means superficiality will become the order of the day. Closeness doesn't automatically mean oneness just as independence doesn't automatically mean absence of thoughtfulness. Once more, I say create boundaries to prevent constant bickering or living together as frenemies. Yet, never forget to be both thoughtful and conscientious towards them at all times.

Small-minded people tend to use a scenario like yours to substantiate the erroneous postulation by them also, that Africans tend to more beneficent/accommodating towards their extended families than the Westerners do towards theirs. Balderdash. What's true is that while majority in the latter group are realnesss personifies the majority in the former group are superficiality personifies (suffering/bitter and smiling).

Small-minded people don't know that peace - inner peace - is the most treasured possession in the world. And that one who isn't in charge of his privacy, dominion and dignity can never possess it. Never maintain closeness with someone you don't share same ethical leanings with, because oneness can never be achieved in such association. Closeness without oneness breed toxicity.

Thank you LordKO. You understand where I coming from. You deserve some accolades.

Halfpenny:
I think you should explain your feelings to them as raw as it is. Maybe that's what's missing. They can't read minds so tell them how you feel. They love and appreciate you I'm sure so they wouldn't want to stress you out. I have a feeling you are being a little selfish because your complaints sound a lil superficial, the wanting peace and quiet and the place tidy. But if you feel like your being taken advantage of financially and you feel that they could do better then stand up for yourself. You haven't given much away so it's hard to advise. I would say open lines of communication, don't censor yourself because there's no nice way of saying this so just say it. I feel xyz and I think xyz. Simple.

Thank you for this. Will put in efforts to try and communicate more which is one of my problems; bottling things up. Been sacrificing for the family for sixteen years now so I just feel like having my own life now and giving my mother more attention before it gets divided. When you complain about washing dishes and the response you get was that the plates were washed last week Wednesday by him or the bathroom gradually turning to an eye sore and no move to clean it. Don't want to give a litany of complains here cause it gets me no where. Here to share thoughts and seek advice. Thanks again.

Shugarlord213:
Guy if it’s because of one stewpid woman with fibrosis you want to push out, better don’t ignore your siblings

At the end of the day you and I know Naija women are nothing to write home about

I was a Virgin for 32year so bro, kpekus can change your medula.

I just like peace and quiet to think and work though it might be a problem when I get married and those tiny feets start running around. Like I said I'm still single and pray I get a Nigerian woman to write home about. or maybe I will just go #teamforeignwifey

Jman06:
Sorry, i didn't see this before my post, but I'd still suggest you do more to help the other stand in his business, unless he is hellbent on getting married in which case you can go ahead and have him out of your house not forcefully though but by talking to him and making him see reasons, because any man who is matured enough to get married should be matured enough to have a house of his own.

My first react to your earlier post was then I saw this. Thanks for the advice. We started a business together from nothing for close to ten years now and I decided to let go gradually so he runs the business on his own since he wants to start a family tho I still have some stake in the business and have other source of income.

kimbraa:
I don't think these your adult siblings are financially stable. Carry them along in your plans 'cause food is nothing. This one you're deliberately keeping your fridge empty is wrong if you have people in the house who may be hungry. About cleaning, you can all discuss that and strategies a plan on how cleaning should be done and by who daily. Lastly, encourage them to get something doing.

I just feel they should not get too comfortable and put in extra effort. I already sacrificed my savings for one to finish his degree and he is currently serving but I still see that atom of dependency in him while the other is still trying to stand on his feet with a business that is struggling and wants to get married. My prayer has always been to be blessed so I don't complain but as human I get tired sometime. Thanks for the advice tho.

Mariangeles:
Are you the firstborn?
Are you male or female?

Male and not the first, born. Actually the second.

I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.