₦airaland Forum

I wonder the rationale of kidnapping poor masses.

ijayebonyi:
Now, they’re doing what they were supposed to do earlier, go after the wicked leaders that left the country the way it is, just then you will see them do something about insecurity

Always a Muslim behind this.

Yet Islam is a religion of piss

Everyone know what they are doing. Stop advising too much. Stop making excuses for their behaviors.

E go shock you later o

If you're ready to spend on SEO then get a website for your business.

Just building a website and letting it sit there won't bring business to you.

I think my personal philosophy and way of looking at work is quite different from this.

Personally I think hardwork means a lot of things to different people.

Farming is hardwork to someone but to another it's a pleasure.

I love going to farm but I hate staying on the farm beyond the time I want to spend there. In the beginning, you see me happy but when I want to go back home and they say we need to finish so and so first and I'm already tired, then I begin to hate it.

And this is the angle I love viewing my things from. Time.

Even the sweetest of wine starts becoming irritating when you're filled and yet it's all you have to drink.

Working hard is never a bad thing. We are here to be productive. We need productivity not to die of boredom.

Imagine waking up tomorrow and not having anything to do. You get the food you want and so on.

It looks easy, like a very good deal and tempting.

I mean for a lot of us, it's the ideal life. The dream life to have nothing doing and yet have all our needs met.

Now imagine doing the same thing every day for the next 50 or 60 years. It'll almost make you crazy.

Not having anything to do kills faster than actually having something doing.

And so, for me we need a better work/rest balance.

Not necessarily less work.

However, One's work should not cut so deep into one's time that he cannot effectively rest. And one should not rest so much that it cuts into your work.

Maintaining this work/rest balance keeps anyone healthy and happy for a long time.

Even if we automate everything today and there is abundant food, we will only reproduce to a point where we tip the scale.

This has been demonstrated by rats. Given abundance of food and no "work" searching for such food, the rats began to eat and multiply abundantly.

Yet their food never diminished but soon they turned on each other. It's a well documented experiment.

As much as I hate it, work is a very important part of our "health" as a specie.

The journey of Getting to the top is what makes the top meaningful.

Bitterness is what makes us appreciate sweetness. Without darkness, light will mean nothing to us.

So I beg to differ. Continued hardwork is not of the slave.

Slavery is when the choice of working or not working has been taken away from you.

I could be passionately working on my car from morning till night or on my farm under the sun and rain because I want to get abundant yields.

To someone else, it looks like slavery or suffering but it's something that makes me happy when I go back home to relax.

There are guys who go through the gym to get six packs and then there are those who go through surgery to get the same six packs.

Both get six packs but both have different stories, different meanings and when they look at their belly, they smile differently inwardly.

Tech goes beyond just building things. There's also the problem of adoption.

It's very hard. Like really difficult to get Nigerian establishments to try something new.

Sometimes it's only when they are FORCED before they try a new way.

Now as a tech bro, you can build the software but getting hospitals to adopt such software is almost impossible talk more of asking them to pay for it.

Then let her go.

You think having money stops a woman from sleeping around?

If someone wants to sleep around let them do it, it's not your fault.

Like who convinced men that it is their duty to do security guard for tōtō? So because you get married to a woman it becomes your duty to prevent her from cheating to the extent you need to spend money?

Something is wrong somewhere with our mentality. Something is wrong.

onehope:
Let no woman deceive you into marriage with this kind of lyrics oh. You must not be very rich to marry but don't try it as a struggling man. Except the woman is bringing money into the marriage. Everything is not money ke but by the time you cannot meet the needs of your wife for prolonged period, you go see shege for that marriage oh. Women do not know how to respect/honor broke men for long. And you are likely to share her with another man who can provide, that is if she decides to stay in the marriage. Even women themselves do not even know what they are capable of doing until they get to that bridge so do not rely on their vows or promises. You go faint when that same woman go say "I used to love you; or the way this marriage is going is not what I was expecting"

and then there are those men who have become convinced not to get respect from their wives or get sěx unless they provide

Don't you see that it is not you but the money that is being respected or fvcked?

Chai!

Again you lie.

No man has ever said he wants to get married without having a place to stay or some sort of income.

This is because he knows that families need to dwell somewhere and eat something.

What we are against is the "standards". A man must have a duplex to marry or a car or a range rover or pay private school fees or go on vacation every year or this and that.

Those are not what define marriage. If you love someone, you can stay in your one room apartment, eat your meals twice a day, send your kids to government schools and live conveniently.

Marriage should never be monetized

Again, you conveniently see how we both use "men" as providers and the women as receivers?

Now imagine this being the sole reason why you a woman marries you. Just to enjoy luxury and not suffer. Do you not see the selfishness?

QuinQ:
"Everyone knows" yet, like the OP said, the only considerations usually are "love", "chemistry", "compatibility", never what you say "everyone knows".
You'll get a better sense of the discussion if you think of yourself as a parent whose daughter says she wants to marry some poverty-stricken young man because they have chemistry, love. You can see clearly what she can't see because, as a parent, you live in the real world, not in La la land!

We have grown beyond our biology. Our muscles today do almost no work other than us hitting the gym.

Secondly, Saying women choose men for the sake of their children is a fat lie.

Women choose rich men for their own comforts. Which is selfish from the man's perspective because as soon as he lost his income she jumps ship for her own survival.

What we need is women who still wants to go out there and "gather" while their men hunts.

Not the partner that just wants luxury

QuinQ:
Your quarrel really is with biology and nature. Unlike men, women have very few children and for their genes to survive those children must survive to adulthood. instinctively their very first criterium in choosing a partner is someone who can protect (and provide for) their offsprings to adulthood. That is why they instinctively prefer a feared "bad" man. In the old days when parents picked their daughters' husbands their main criteria are usually that he come from a good family (good genes) and that he be able to provide for their daughter. And the marriages usually last

I agree with you boss.

We must never consider LGBT. Not as a right

solreb:
I disagree with the last sentence. You are free to practice polygamy in Africa and you do not need the approval of the West. We can't consider LGBT rights under any circumstances.

What amount is financial stability?

Elzazzi:
There is no timeline for starting a family. This are the kind of advise that pushes men to give birth to children without factoring finances. A man that isn’t financially stable shouldn’t bring in kids. Things happening in this country isn’t funny anymore. Children are more of heavy responsibility than blessing!

Recently a friend just graduated and he saved money from school to marry his wife.

I'm thinking of doing the same thing. He's a medical student who have spent 7-8 years in school.

He could wait another 7-10 years to become a consultant where he'll be making bigger sum to marry.

But time will be going then.

This is dependent on the standards you want your future family to live in.

Most men can start a family once they get their first job and learn to live within their means.

There are many Okada men out there living paycheck to paycheck with their families.

Same as many civil servants and farmers. This makes up the bulk of the population not the shining lekki apartment you see on TV.

But many young men today wants the luxury lifestyle they see on TV.

They want kids going to private school, kids that they "drive" to their schools, they can take vacation in Dubai once in a while or eat in luxury restaurants.

To achieve this, you'll want a little while and may not achieve it in this life.

My advice: if you're doing something now and you can afford to cater to a woman, one that can accept you now and live within your budget/ willing to work.

Save up and go start your family.

Don't wait for the glamour lifestyle shown on TV. Those things don't make up a happy family.

It's sickening.

They keep setting useless standards which are not standards.

Yesterday I was watching a video where a girl was saying as a girl, you have a boyfriend and you're still trekking, don't have an iPhone and still plaiting all back without having bone straight.

To such girls, this is what makes marriage or love.

It's not. People are being blinded by the illusion of money/luxury/standards and worst, they can't even tell the difference.

InvertedHammer:
/
Not so fast!

So Lekki is the only place to live and attend private school...Range Rover is the only car to drive...Every family must go on holiday to Dubai.

This is how some silly men put unnecessary pressure on their lives and die young from stress. Then the wife finds a more reasonable man and "chop" the remaining account balance in peace.

/

Everyone knows you need to pay rent.

Everyone knows you need to be able to afford necessities.

What we are saying is that this should not be the basis for choosing a partner.

A man/woman should not be loved simply because they can provide these necessities for you.

It's selfish and destructive.

LOVE someone first genuinely and then live according to your means. As you are, you have a means of survival already. Your partner should be able to love you at this point and be ready to survive at this level with you.

No one says you should not pay rent but you should not be loved solely because you are being fed off on.

QuinQ:
This is La la land talk. In the real world what makes a person happy is being able to well afford it when the rent is due. What makes a person unhappy is being stressed out when rent is due, and having to bring out a calculator, and inevitably end up dodging the landlord and frantically running around looking for a way to borrow money. That's what makes a person unhappy in the real world!

Again. A lost man

QuinQ:
No my dear, it is summation of a man living in the real world, not in La la land where you don't need anything to be happy. Even if you yourself don't need anything, your people do! You may not be embarrassed by your raggedy old car always parked next to your neighbor's shiny, but your family will be. It is called human nature. It will kill you inside having to explain to your child why they have to go to the poor school while all other neighborhood kids attend the better school. That's why men kill themselves trying to make money - not because they need so much themselves to be happy!

What does a woman do that makes a man feel like a man?

Mariangeles:
Let me just make the long story short; your guy will rather choose to be with his woman that makes him feel like a man than be with you.

And this is the summation of a man with no direction.

A man ruled by covetousnes. A family ruled by greed.

A family raising potential criminals and ritualists who will do everything to keep up with the Jones.

Nah man, I do not dream to have a family who think like this.

QuinQ:
I tbis not greed. It is that your wife and kids will be feeling embarrassed that your raggedy old car is parked next to your neighbor's shiny new car

Again feeling like a man is because of the sex.

Try telling a primary school boy with no sexual desire to sit with a girl and not his group of friends.

Mariangeles:
Let me just make the long story short; your guy will rather choose to be with his woman that makes him feel like a man than be with you.

I'll tell you marketing.

Do you wonder why the number of gays are rising sharply all over the world?

It's marketing. A few years ago, indomie will not make the average Nigerian salivate.

But with consistent marketing, many can no longer do without it.

Every company in the world today markets their product. But ultimately, they want to create a desire in you to own such products.

Same way this sexuuality is being marketed to our young ones.

Look around you. From 1960 to 2015, gay relationship was almost never our problem, today we have so many.

You think we suddenly started giving births to gay children in Nigeria?

Or there's a direct correlation with media and it's continually increasing propaganda in every movie and every news article?

If you constantly tell people things, they accept it as the truth.

Look at north Koreans. Everything they do, Kim jung is almost always the center of it. He's marketed agrresively until he's accepted.

Sexuality can be marketed. Look around you today, fair ladies are the desire of almost every African because fair skin has been marketed to us as the standard of beauty.

Today, most men cannot love an obese woman but we forget that once in Africa, fattening women is a beauty standard.

And in some untouched tribes, men with pot belly are regarded as the most handsome men.

Marketing shapes the world more than you think my guy.

HacheNoire:
You were the one that mentioned it’s not nature. If a goat fvcks his mother and does not see a fault in it, how do you explain how a human gets and erection looking at same sex.

If I must confess, I heard this argument on TV where someone said if you can look at the picture of any man and get an erection, then you can prove it’s not nature.

Do you appreciate the engineering that goes into a woman being wet at the sight of another woman?

You think it’s a demon?

....

EponObi:
You need to head to Google to learn what it means to be financially stable.

Do you know how many animals shît and turnaround to eat the same shït?

Morals are not Trans-species. Simply because a he-goat fvcks his mother doesn't make it right for a man to do the same to his mother.

Some of you reason in the most irritating way to put it mildly.

Homosexuality is not natural.

HacheNoire:
Homosexuality is not nature?

I love the confidence you used to spew that false statement!

Do you know how many animals are into homosexuality?


If you believe it’s not nature, try get an erection watching gay porn.

You have to understand when to stop. There's always going to be a bigger and better place.

If you are choosing your life partner based on money, there's always going to be a better man or woman out there.

This is why people keep cheating on their partner.

Yes, single room is not convenient but you worked your way out of it because it's not a fixed constant.

Finance is not fixed. It goes up and down. Getting tied to someone for something as fickle as money is a recipe for disaster.

You want someone who genuinely loves you, choose to be by your side whether your money is rising or dipping. Someone loyal to you first.

Your finance can change anything for good or bad, your marriage should not be held by such glue.

Can you imagine someone getting married to you with no desire other than the life you can provide for them?

Let's use our senses please. Money is not all that important except it has been so marketed to us that we have accepted the illusion.

RealityKings1:
In 2021 I lived in alone in a single room for 2 years or there about. It wasn't because I liked it, it was because I couldn't afford a much better place.
I'm sure you were raised in a single room not because you guys didn't want a much better place.

Isn't that the same thing we say? Sex is what makes the difference.

Without that urge for sex, no woman has anything to offer a man that will warrant his desires to keep her company.

How many guys do you think will approach you as a leader if not that they are sexually motivated?

Guys hardly approach other guys why do you think that?

Mariangeles:
Let me tell you something; a woman is what makes you a man.

Without a woman, you're as good as a eunuch.
Not something to be proud of.

No. You be financially stable before you get married and then find someone who will marry you because of the luxury life you can provide for them so you can see how deep that rabbit hole will go for you.

EponObi:
Your still living on El Dorado.

Be financially stable before considering marriage. That's all. No where in my post did I say you should be rich. Financial stability is not equal to richness.

Wait until you are the partner someone is taking not because of any other thing but your ability to provide then you'll understand why love is important.

emmaodet:
LOVE?
Why do i feel uncomfortable with that word .... Love.


You know in today's world, this is not right.

I will rather take average money plus average Love over full Love/Little or No money or Full money/No Love

No. The first thing that will make you happy is knowing how little you need to be happy.

Greed and covetousnes is what has been marketed into us to desire things we don't need.

I grew up in a single room. I know I need very little to live

RealityKings1:
The first thing that will make you happy in the modern world is money😅... There are so many empirical evidence

Homosexuality is not nature. Homosexuality cannot reproduce their kinds.

If a man with genes of homosexuality marries another man, he cannot give birth to his homosexuality offspring.

It is not nature. It's a propaganda.

Why do you think suddenly it's included in all movies? It's a propaganda that grows as more young minds get corrupted.

Why do you think they are being included in children's books and TV cartoons?

It grows via media, not nature. This is why they hate it if you ban them from media.

This is why they alway want to be in the center of every talk show.

There's nothing natural about homosexuality. It dies as soon as you suffocate the publicity.

HacheNoire:
You can’t fight nature!

Ban, re-ban, abolish or condemn, you can never go against nature.

The earlier we start accepting these people, the better!

Nigeria is anti LGBTQ but we all know it’s ineffective. They still have a big community and networks that extends far into the corridors of power.

Faggøt spotted

Go to the west and rest there

Gotocourt:
I can remember when senate under David Mark hastily passed a law on that during GEJ administration. But terrorist and corruption is allowed to go scot-free.
Terrorism was a serious issue then, it took President Donald Trump's government to force Tinubu to act after 13-14 years.

Na we pray pass but very evil, hell better pass we country

Way to go.

No african is in the west promoting polygamous family because the west criminalizes it.

They tell you as long as two adults are doing their things in private, then it should be allowed.

But at the same time, a man who decides to marry more than one wife is a criminal offence in their country.

But somehow, it's alright if the same man wants to marry a fellow man.

Their WAY of gay marriage is HUMAN rights. Our WAY of polygamy is human right VIOLATION.

Somehow their perverse homosexuality way is right. And our ancestral way of polygamous marriage is wrong.

let the west allow polygamy as it does not affect any body. Then we'll consider their LGBT rights.

A hungry girl cannot love. But worst, a covetous girl cannot love.

The world is not hard, your hunger for a certain lifestyle makes your world hard for you.

More than 90% of Nigerian families live paycheck to paycheck.

Yes it's challenging, but they do it. No one is saying poverty makes you happy. What we are saying is money also will not make you happy.

Instead be genuinely interested in your partner. Get married to the person, not their wealth because of your selfish desire to escape poverty.

Don't you think your partner wants a person who loves them genuinely and not the money they have?

EponObi:
Keep deceiving yourself. "Everything is not money" is one of the biggest traps the society set for the unenlightened. Is it when you are poor that you are happy?

We are heading for historical, unprecedented global inflation in the next decade, but yea "Everything is not money"

My dear, everything is money. You live in a capitalist world; it's delusional to think otherwise.

While you don't need to be rich like the OP has portrayed, abeg, it's important to be financially comfortable at least before considering marriage.

Check the global trend, the rate of marriage and birth are nosediving, so much people like Elon Musk are sounding the alarm. Do you think people don't want to get married or give birth? People are no longer brainwashed with sayings like this. People now understand that if you follow societal trends and pressure that your financial muscles can't withstand, you will face the consequence yourself. People are rather checking out instead of facing lifetime financial pressure to take care children.

Seriously. The advice is total rubbish.

Love should be why you want to build your life with someone not money.

So, if you start a family with a rich man or woman and circumstances happen, then you divorce them because they are no longer financially capable?

It's such a senseless advice from the op

Jman06:
Money is never enough. Once you have a stable means of income, marry and build wealth together. Most wealthy men I know today were never wealthy at the time they got married.

And who says you must buy your wife a range, you can start with a Toyota Corolla, you must not send your children to private schools in Lekki. Expensive private schools is not a guarantee for brilliance. You must not go for vacations in Dubai unless you're lucky to eventually make it big.

Believe me, if you want to start waiting until you have made humongous money before marriage, chances are high that you might not marry eventually. God made this life very simple but na we humans dey complicate things for ourselves.

Don't mind that guy creating this sorts of rubbish threads.

They are talking as though money and not love should be the driving force of marriage.

Very senseless talk

GUNITGuy:
How rich was your father before your mum married him and I still staying .....mind you they married moat women then as virgins
Now you need a lot of money to marry a broke older non virgins in this day and age whats wrong with the world