₦airaland Forum

So recently, it has been trending that the Chinese government is banning a particular genre of TV shows in China:

"Billionaire CEOs meeting and falling in love with a poor girl and marrying her and giving her the world" .

The reason why they want to ban such TV dramas in their country is the concern that it is causing such grand delusion in their women.

Many women in the country now believe that one day their own billionaire CEO will meet and fall in love with them one day.

And this set an unreasonably "high" standards for the men in the country.

Which in turn can destroy their birthrate and population if it continues this way.

But coming to our country, our own trend is the ODOGWU men.

Nollywood now trying to portray love as a rich and successful man who is semi literate, spends lavishly on a woman he just met and then marrying her.

So, does this affect our girls psyche who when they are supposed to be thinking of getting partners are "waiting" for the day they will meet their own ODOGWU?

Actually.

Unfortunately, I think it's also a necessity sha. The lack of sense is what makes dating them sweet.

I mean it's frustrating when you actually want to reason things with them.

But the lack of sense is what makes them feminine, feel innocent and why you can easily fool them.

Can you imagine how hard it'll be to "deceive" and bed a girl who is as logical as a man?

A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

One day, wetin your hand dey find, e go surely touch am naim be this one

Being alive is everything you are now. Everything you can feel, see, believe and know.

Being dead is something you cannot imagine. Because imagination is a function of being alive.

Hence being dead is something out of the reach of an alive mind.

But you were once dead... Before you were born. There was nothing. This is because your mind, your nervous system which witnesses and interprets everything was not yet formed then.

And so, you cannot witness anything before you were born. Hence, there was nothing (but the idea of 'nothing' itself is a quality of the living mind).

When you die, your mind and nervous system dissolves into the same nothing and so you totally loses the function of "what, when, how, why and everything else in between".

So no, we can never know what it means to be dead because we can never be dead.

To others we may die but to ourselves, we'll never experience death. Experience is a quality of a living mind.

Just as you never experienced what it was before you were born, this "you" is incapable of experiencing what it'll be like when you're dead.

This "you" is only capable of experiencing this exact moment, this exact moment is all you'll ever experience.

This is because life is always in the present. You cannot go to the future of life nor to the past of life.

You cannot go 1 seconds to the future or 1 seconds to the past. Life is this exact moment you experience.

If this moment then fails, you cannot experience the next moment. Of course people standing by, will see the exact moment you fell down.

They will see the future of your life because they will experience the next few days of you being alive.

But for you, you die in exactly one single moment in time, that single moment has no future or past to base your experience on.

And so, we cannot die... Not to ourselves. Others will experience our death just as others will experience theirs but by ourselves, we cannot experience our death.

Life is like light and darkness. You can experience light and darkness but never both at the same time.

Once you bring in light, darkness vanishes from that spot immediately. Once you bring in death, life vanishes completely.

And so, both can never be experienced at the same time or by the same person.

So what is life? We know it to be this thing you're right now and at this moment.

What is death? We can never know it and the moment we know it, we can never know life anymore.

Once light comes, darkness losses its meaning completely.

Seriously. The talk just vex me too.

So, as someone like this now after seeing everything that has happened in the past 10years and you wake up, the first thing on your mind is to buy football boots?

Like all the economic changes, new tech and all these websites booms, crypto, coding and new businesses, na football wey your odd of succeeding is like 1 in a billion that you'll pick up boot for?

Oga, your father is not your problem.

DrTee1:
This is productive-zero thinking. The first failure of thinking that I have read today. You are daydreaming about waking up in primary school to buy football boots, but you are missing the most basic facts of reality.

Do you think Mbappe didn’t go to school? Do you think he didn’t have teammates when he started? You see the glory today, but you ignore the millions of people who started playing on the same day Mbappe first saw a leather ball. Consider Anthony Le Tallec and Florent Sinama Pongolle. They started long before Mbappe, trained at the elite Clairefontaine academy, and became global U-17 champions in 2001. They were the 'world-beaters' of their time, yet their senior careers never blossomed into the superstardom you imagine is guaranteed.

If your life were a dream, you clearly haven't learned enough to wake up yet. Football is not a shortcut to success; quality education, whether academic or technical, is. You are blaming your father for 'discouraging' you, but you are really just using him as an excuse for your own lack of direction. Your father has lived his life without blaming his own father. Live your own life so that your own children wouldn't curse you or do worse to you.

This isn't just about you; it’s about the millions of —unfortunately — lazy youths with this 'Yahoo-Yahoo' and 'Football' mentality. You are looking for a 'get rich quick' or 'get rich easy' path because you lack the discipline for the slow, honest work of self-development.

Buying boots doesn't make you a professional, just like waking up in the past wouldn't make you a success if you still have this same lazy, entitlement-driven mindset.

Regards.

Freshtruth:
What if your whole life was just a dream u woke up and saw your self in your primary school resting your head on desk.
I go jejely go buy football boot. If I no play football make God punish me.
I never still forgive my Father who always bully and discourage me from football, na the same man they use mbappe insult me last month.



Guys like Dangote,Davido,oyedepo,laycon, Cristiano Ronaldo, mark zuga, Alex Ferguson, Johnathan and co go be like I want to back to that dream don't wake me up

what made you think that if your father allowed you to play football that you'll turn out better than you're right now?

You think out of the over 5 billion people on earth, there are not millions who know how to play and are out there wishing someone was wise enough to send them to school?

Stop blaming your father abeg. He did the best to make sure you turn out fine. If anything, he should be applauded and appreciated.

Look at nigeria, a country of over 250 million people being represented by at most 50 players, what made you think you would have been among them?

Your best shot in making it in this country was education, not football. The odds are terribly against you. That's even an understatement.

If you had picked football, the chances of you making it would have been lesser than the chances of me becoming a billionaire tomorrow.

Girls when they are 19-25 are a whole vibe altogether.

They behave like they are carrying something special. Like the whole world is existing for their sake.

I love how life humbles them later after going through a series of relationships and realized that men while easy to get into bed are not easy to keep.

By 27-29, if unmarried, you see the chip dropping from their shoulders and humility setting in.

No one says to put her on a pedestal. I'm saying if you approach me with a deal, you have to prove to me that I need such a deal and that it is beneficial to me as well.

It's the same thing with a woman. When you approach a girl on the street, for her number for instance, you don't expect her to just hand it over to you just like that.

You need to explain why. Same way with sleeping with a girl. You need a reason why she should sleep with you.

It's not putting her on a pedestal. It's showing genuine reason why she should accept to be with you.

Yesterday, she was OK without having you in her life, today she'll be fine as well. Na you approach her and as with any deal, you have the lesser hand and must provide proofs.

And yes, for some, clowning works quite well for them. In fact, there's a reason why funny guys get girls easily.

Sometimes put your sister as a reference. Do you think it's OK for her to just throw herself at a guy simply because he wants her to?

Of course not, you want her to act with dignity, act like she's well trained and see herself as decent.

So why have a problem with other girls simply because you're now the one they must act for?

ReacherSaidNoth:
Putting them on a pedestal like they are some prize to be won is the genesis of the problem. Wanting to form a connection with a woman does not mean you become slavish in behavior.

A woman who admires you like you do her will put in her own effort to match yours if not more. The idea that you have to put pressure of any kind, to sell yourself to her like a job seeker is the sort of rubbish that has inflated their ego and ruined the dating scene.

If you're a content to lose yourself in the pursuit of vaginas, good for you.

Dem dey look except you no sabi wetin u dey look for

KingDashx:
Baba naija girls no dey look uche face oh, them don dey expensive, na money dey talk now.. money for hand back for ground less yarning.

Let's stop lying to ourselves.

Nothing is ever mutual. And just wishing everything to be mutual won't make it mutual.

As far as you approach a girl first, you'll need to provide her with ample reasons why she should date you.

If I'm in my house and you bring market come, you need to work to gain my attention, sell me the market even though the product will benefit me as well.

But at that point I don't know it yet.

So Naso e be with girls. Even though they will end up benefiting more from you, you must sell yourself first

ReacherSaidNoth:
Everything should be mutual, don't waste yourself on mediocre entities.

Always start with the basic stuffs.

How are you doing?

How was your day?

Wetin you eat this evening? Oh I ate this or that? Is that ur best food? She tells her best food. Add yours mine is this and I like it because... Why is this one your best food?

You build conversation from conversation.

What did you do today?

Don't rush to get to the next questions. Actually listen. And as she's answering you are thinking of how to turn her response into another question, make an observation from it and say it to her or make light fun of it.

Honestly, free your mind and just go with the flow.

It's always hard in the beginning but as you build on it, it gets easier.

Also get friendly with other girls. Just to build up conversations. It doesn't have to be romantic.

Like me I talk to a new girl almost every week. Nothing deep. Sometimes just one phone call and that's that.

Nowadays I can keep any girl online for 2-30min without wondering what to do say.

Sometimes I have no idea what to even say to them. I just pick up my phone, work up the nerve to talk and then dial the number.

From simple hi, hello, how are you doing, you see things start building up.

Christian36:
Thanks alot, you did justice to this. I will put it in practice, the main problem here is that talking for long is what I know I'm not good at. I don't know how I will go about it...... I didn't take my love life serious now it is hunting me, I just don't know where to start from, how to correct this at this age I'm is now a serious obstacle to me

Christian36:
I'm not into woman things, just that I'm over due to get married. I just want a lady I will settle down with.

this is your problem.

You've ignored women for too long forgetting that romance is a skill.

Women are not like bags that you go to the market and pick one whenever you're ready.

Learning to get girls, keep them interested and want to be with you is a skill.

Like every skill, it must be learnt. It can't be wished for or bought. You must learn it.

Unfortunately, when you're supposed to be doing that, you were doing holy holy ("I'm not into woman's things" ).

Secondly, what do you mean "you just want a woman you can settle down with"?

Again, women are not objects you pick one and that's that.

You have to learn to put in the effort, to genuinely get them to like you.

Like every other humans, they can blow hot and cold. Today they can seem interested and tomorrow they may not.

This is because like you, they are also on their radar looking for potential mates.

One thing I can tell you is that comot your mind from the settle down soon talk and actually seek to follow due process.

Pick a woman, put in the effort. First call her once a day, preferably at night (9-10pm).

Try to keep the conversation for 3-4 minutes at first. Do this 3-4 times a week and check her energy levels.

Is she trying to keep the conversation going? Or she's sounding kinda in a hurry to leave the phone?

If she's not complaining or trying to leave the phone, then increase it up to 10-20 minutes. Sometimes it's just you goofing around.

Note the things you chat about and try to put them in your conversations. Don't ask boring questions or hard ones.

Build up and actually try to make her laugh, twist her words into funny stuff.

Really build connections with her and after a week or two, invite her to your house.

If she comes, actually try to seduce her. Make sure she's aware of your romantic intentions.

She may refuse to sleep with you. Don't apologize for it. In fact, let it be like nothing happened and continue the convo.

If everything goes well in a week or two, you'll have yourself a girlfriend.

After that you can continue studying her and see if she's someone you want to settle down with.

Still doesn't change the fact that with all the money you throw around you still getting rejected.

Bend down, stay humble and learn.

2cribz:
Ode. U think say i be student like u. U wey yur mama still dey feed

No woman marries a jobless man

Is it not the man that sponsored the wedding? Is he not the one feeding the family?

If she works and contribute her quota, she won't be lacking and feeling like her man is jobless and lazy.

Sirchiboy:
Women that married a lazy and jobless men , share your experience

I will do 30days without watching a single clip of porn.
today is wasted because I have just finished watching it. I am going to start tomorrow till end of february so help me God.

God dey

I hope tomorrow won't be next tomorrow sha o

When you die, you won't miss anything or anyone.

It's just like before you were born. You never missed anything or anyone because you were nothing.

The same state of nothingness comes into play when you die.

But you feel like you'll miss this or that thing or that person because you're living right now.

Missing is concept of the living. Same as every emotions we express. These things are a function of the living.

The dead have no idea of what those emotions are or the idea of life.

Take for instance, you can never explain to a stone what it means to drink a cold bottle of water on a hot sunny day.

The stone can never understand that concept.

But by worrying about the dead while you are living, you are prone to errors. You are prone to mistaking that feeling as something you'll still be capable of.

And so, you suffer while you're still alive. This is why jesus said "let the dead bury their dead"

You're alive. Live your life

TotoSuckker:
So one day person go die leave towtow

What will you miss the most in this life when it's time to die?

Lolz.

Na you be the old cargo sha.

Because why you dey throway money like say you pick am from ground?

Secondly, work on your tolerance level. Ladies doing yanga is how they project themselves as not cheap.

You have to learn to play the game as well. Yes it's annoying but it is what it is.

No lady will just open her legs waaa for you just like that. Learn to build up with conversation.

Continue calling and getting to know her after which it becomes impossible for them to say no to seeing you.

This usually happens after the 3rd or 4th call especially if you keep the conversation interesting.

Length of calls also matter to ladies. They love that feeling of "we talked so long and so much" and begin to mistake it for love.

I usually use this a lot. I keep them on the phone for 10min or even 30min. Yesterday I was on call with one for 18min.

Talking about what? Just goofing around and nonsense to me.

But to her, it meant a lot. This is because most guys can't keep them for that long and secondly, it sets you apart and make her trip.

Honestly, you need to learn to put effort in getting what you want regardless of the irritation.

I lost a lot of my girls especially in 100l because I couldn't understand why I have to do all the effort just to get a girl.

But nowadays, highest money I spend is on my recharge cards. Something that 3k you spend or the shawarma money will easily cover.

2cribz:
Thy are sore loosers
I get one small for y area like 20years old
I don buy this gal shawama
Card of 1k
Yet she felt entitled
Come my house. She no gree
I block am warn am not to ever call me or even greet me.

Another old cargo,I jam her for one super market
She come hug me.i dash am 3k
I called her after 2 weeks
She begin ask who be this
I no stress myself.i block am

I'm not moved by ugly ladies
Beautiful ladies
I'm moved by your actions

That's too easy to give up na.

Give us more context to help you. Ladies no too deep like that.

Besides 4 na very small number. I can go out now and talk to more than 10 ladies today.

Rearealki:
So I have spoken to 4 ladies now. They all don’t pick my calls neither respond to my chats
I give up

If men with car lined up to date her, she will not be dating you.

Trust me on this bro.

She's not with you because she loves you too much. She's with you because at this point in time, you're the "best" she can do.

So, no too trouble yourself. If she is not ready then move on let her wait for the man with car.

And just so you know, you're waiting with her at the moment so she can find a man with car.

If ever such a man comes along as she is praying for him to come, she'll dump you without a second thought.

I her secret place, she's not praying for you to make it, she's praying for God to bring a replacement with a car.

How do I know this? Because if indeed she's with you and hoping to spend the future with you, then she should have been supportive and not caring what anyone else thinks or you don't think you deserve such kind of love?

Danlami223:
Hello great people of nairaland, please I need your advice on this. There is the girl of mine we have been dating for almost 5years now she know all my family even to those one that’s in abroad anytime they call they always ask often if her sometimes she even talk to them.. now my problem is I haven’t talk to any of her family except her sister that stay with her. She have one brother that one is in the UK the guy know both of us are dating but I haven’t speak to him before. Recently I told her how far let me know your mum or dad she said NO because her mum want her to date a man that’s driving but me I don’t have a car. And this year I plan of meeting her parents. Please I need your advice maybe I should continue with this relationship.

Makes you wanna ask what it is about marriage (people seating, Eating and drinking) that makes it purify sex.

gohf:
was there really a "marriage" between Adam and Eve or they just found each other and procreated. Not sure they are the "best" examples of when to have sex for the first time, you can as well say the first time a boy meets a girl, they should have sex the moment they are out of their homes.

It's quite annoying to read feminist nónsense here on NL

amosnaira:
You finished this topic. Thank you for taking time to put up this write-up

[quote author=Kwinesther post=138324436][/quote]

Imagine a lady, no skill, no education. No handwork.

All waiting for a man to come save her from the gutter she called her father's house.

After you pick her and give her small hope, she go come dey call you misogynists.

That's how those smelling feminists are o. They are all here on nairaland creating threads upandan.

Nothing good is going on or will ever go on in their lives until a man shows up

Then you hear I am a strong and independent woman

You're the one saying you gain nothing from marriage why do you pray, cry, roll on the floor, weep, gnash your teeth and fast for it?

Doesn't it defeat logic to go willingly to men to slave for them?

cococandy:
You’re the ones saying you gain nothing from marriage. Why do you still do it? It defeats logic !

Mtcheew

Kwinesther:
lol, pain is that you?

You no add the classic "can I wear my clothes now?"

Feminist can't relate because no man dey even gree marry them

Lolz.

You speak as though the men carry gun and are forcing the women to get married.

My dear women are getting married voluntarily. So where is this "forced" narrative of "leave us alone" coming from?

Na women dey attend shiloh and do hallelujah challenge looking for husbands not men.

So, if you feel the world will be awesome, you can literally tell yourself not to get married. No man is forcing you to get married.

cococandy:
Like literally leave us alone.

Imagine how awesome the world would be if the men who think they don’t benefit anything from marriage choose not to get married ever?

In a world where 2-3 women are sharing one man, fighting over one man, you're here boosting your ego that it is the men who should leave you alone

Delulu