₦airaland Forum

Teaching and discipline goes together. What you should stand against is the extreme of it

Phred1717:
Kids are always dramatic, parents sacrifice so much on them. I cannot put my kids in a private school, paying about 800k in a single term and one teacher that is suppose to teach and leave the discipline aspect for the parents, start melting it on the kid. I once confronted a teacher that gave my 7years old child 100 frog-jump to do, all in the name of making noise in the class.
At the end of it, I personally gave the same teacher 300 frog jump to do.
Teacher nowadays transfer personally economy anger on student and parents really needs to watch their children

If you care so much about your child you'll keep their hair and nails clean so no teacher will correct them.

It's always the bad parents coming to fight on their badly behaving kids behalf.

Check very well, you correct a kid who is badly behaved and they call their terrible parents who comes around to fight, displaying their poor behavior which is being reflected in the kids.

The apple never falls far from the tree. Tueh!

Gbadugbakun:
No teacher has the right to barb the hair of a child without the consent of the parents. I'd you try that with my child you're going to jail because I'll pay influencers to drag you and the school on social media and say that you use children's hair for rituals that's why you barb them without their parents consent.

Then I'll have the teacher arrested for rituals, she'll be remanded in jail while investigations go on. God help you if my child falls sick during that period, your own don be.

Just focus on your teaching and leave the kids alone.

Which one be many more to come na

eepeepook:
You children have low standards. Every stage in life is an achievement. I congratulate her on this milestone. Many more to come.

Parents can be dramatic at times as we have seen in this recent video of the woman confronting her kids teacher.

Most of these kids can come home and narrate issues not as they were but as they feel it is.

I used feelings. Kids can easily feel things differently and exaggerate unnecessarily.

I used to teacher a primary school class with 11 kids in total.

Primary 5 then.

When I started, I was preparing them for common entrance exam immediately but I had a problem: most of the kids could not read properly.

Like 5 of them could not read a whole line in their textbooks without looking up to me for help.

Now these are kids going to jss 1 the next year. We all know in jss 1, you're expected to know how to read at least from my secondary school experience.

But there was one in particular that could not read at all.

I had to confront their previous teacher from primary 4 because I found it very sad that they will keep promoting these kids like that.

But she explained that the kids won't do their homework, she can't discipline them because they don't want to loose their kids to other schools (the proprietors instructions).

But I was determined to make sure these kids can read before they leave the school.

It's not small work o. I introduced them to Ugo c. Ugo.

Everyday, they are solving 50 maths questions as assignments. I remember the very first one, none got up to 5.

I punished them myself. Not harsh but since they were not used to any punishment, it was for them.

I made sure they crammed multiplication table from 2x1 up to 15x15.

For the reading, I reduced their break time to less than 15 minutes.

Most of them became better readers but this girl continued struggling. Not improving.

Then I started forcing her to attend my extra lessons. All the others attend after school but she's the only one not attending.

She said her parents don't have money (in the real sense she never informed them about it).

Anyways, I said OK. But she must attend the lesson. So even without pay, I still made her stay for the lesson.

I focused on her reading and maths (you always have to get this foundation right. Aside maths and English.. Reading, everything else from primary school is almost useless).

So we spent extra 2 hours drilling maths and English together.

Into their second term, I saw dramatic changes in their work.

But something happened one day. I gave them their usual 50 questions assignment and she looked at me straight in the eyes and said she would not do it.

I told her if you don't do it, don't even bother coming to school because I'll flog nonsense from your body.

She then said she'll report me to her mother. I told her to try it first.

The next day she came to school and truly she didn't do it.

After marking everything, I flogged shege from her body that day.

The next day, the mother was already shouting from the road leading to school dragging her daughter along shouting and speaking yoruba angrily.

I didn't get a word because I don't understand yoruba.

So I ask her to speak with the cleaner and interpret to me.

She spoke that so I want to kill her daughter. So you single my child out because you don't like her and all manner of stuff.

I could have gotten angry but I didn't. I explained everything to her.

Then I asked the girl to bring her books same as her classmates. They all brought their books.

And proudly I showed her everything. The weekly increases in their scoring from each assignment.

They all read a full passage from their textbook in front of her. You need to see her happy that day.

She apologized and asked me to calculate my lesson fee she's owing but I never did.

I later gained admission into the university. At that time, one of the mother of the boys in my class came and was saying when she took her son to one Ansarudeen lesson, the teachers were really happy because he could solve questions faster and in different methods than all the other kids (he was average in my class then).

But I never stayed to see all of them get into secondary school though.

I remember back then because of the dramatic change in their performance, the proprietor for the first time had to enroll them in an all primary quiz.

This was the first ever time she had tried it because according to her she didn't want to go and disgrace her school in such competition.

Although we didn't qualify but I strongly believe if the foundations had been right and they had been more strict, we would have done better.

Little discipline goes a long way in shaping kids. Kids don't know their left from their right, yet they can be very stubborn in their ways.

As you are entrusting them to teachers, learn to trust their judgments. But more importantly, if there's an issue, don't go fighting.

Teachers can easily neglect your child and watch her self destruct in that school, not only physically but academically.

Instead, go to them to reason with them. Find out the issue. Communicate your feelings and make them understand you and you too try to understand them.

No teacher, well, maybe some and very few at that will ever single your child with the aim of maltreating them.

Even some, will have their best interests at heart while punishing them severely but don't know that they are crossing your personal line.

Communicate this to them peacefully. Don't even let your child to be in the same room while this is going on.

My one piece

So she that cannot take care of her child is suddenly fighting?

If she loves her son so much, she would have cut his hair and kept his nails clean.

American wannabes everywhere.

ponishah:
What rubbish are you saying?
Shut up!
They cut part of her son's hair and they cut his nails as well, what type of explanation do want to give about this combo?
Why...
We are Africans and we practise black rituals, and we know it

Everybody want to be dramatic nowadays. They wanna claim rights to appear more educated than they are

CJStarz:
Hair wey dem cut us during our time and our mam dem no send.

I always thought that after writing jamb, students wait to be admitted and then go to their school portal to pay admission fees, screening and registration?

Now someone is telling me that their school is asking them to pay money for screening when jamb has not even released their official results?

So they are asking all students to upload their results on the school portal and then pay N5000 as a screening fee.

So, now those who will not be admitted will pay for screening and admission that they will not be given?

I'm confused. Is this a new change because ever since I've been a student, you always write jamb, wait for admission then get your letter before uploading your stuff on the school portal.

Most of these people have never really faced consequences for their actions so they keep trying every time.

One day go be one day

L1TTLE:
Theres this girl i am getting along with, we had a connection so I thought cuz everything was easy, she likes talking to me, she gave me her number without me asking for it, we got along very easily like I've known her for long.

I had the feeling that things are getting serious so I i asked her if she's single before I waste my time, lo and behold she's not, I then asked her what's the purpose of all this then? She then shamelessly said we can be besties, I i told her point blank with disgust that I don't need a bestie, someone she can be billing while her boyfriend stays wherever he is, boyfriend duties but you're the besty, naso this girl vex and started saying everything has changed simply because she told me she's in a relationship.

What was once a delightful interaction is now resentment, we don't talk again sef.

girl love bomb you and because she no get wetin she want, she withdraw attention.

Naso dem dey do. Guy move on. E no hard pass like that

Read you'll not read. Just rush and be commenting

free2ryhme:
She didnot die in that position

she may have been killed somewhere else and dropped at that location

It's actually a good thing. But the things these companies do for profit have reduced public trust in them.

Image123:
Wow, that's impressive then.

Can this electricity roast corn now?

They are releasing male mosquitoes. Male mosquitoes don't bite humans. Only female mosquitoes do so.

So if you release them, the hope is that they infect female mosquitoes and they both die from the bacteria infection.

Image123:
They don't know warris going on. No one who knows mosquitoes will release 64 million mosquitoes. That's probably an unpardonable sin.

I wonder the rationale of kidnapping poor masses.

ijayebonyi:
Now, they’re doing what they were supposed to do earlier, go after the wicked leaders that left the country the way it is, just then you will see them do something about insecurity

Always a Muslim behind this.

Yet Islam is a religion of piss

Everyone know what they are doing. Stop advising too much. Stop making excuses for their behaviors.

E go shock you later o

If you're ready to spend on SEO then get a website for your business.

Just building a website and letting it sit there won't bring business to you.

I think my personal philosophy and way of looking at work is quite different from this.

Personally I think hardwork means a lot of things to different people.

Farming is hardwork to someone but to another it's a pleasure.

I love going to farm but I hate staying on the farm beyond the time I want to spend there. In the beginning, you see me happy but when I want to go back home and they say we need to finish so and so first and I'm already tired, then I begin to hate it.

And this is the angle I love viewing my things from. Time.

Even the sweetest of wine starts becoming irritating when you're filled and yet it's all you have to drink.

Working hard is never a bad thing. We are here to be productive. We need productivity not to die of boredom.

Imagine waking up tomorrow and not having anything to do. You get the food you want and so on.

It looks easy, like a very good deal and tempting.

I mean for a lot of us, it's the ideal life. The dream life to have nothing doing and yet have all our needs met.

Now imagine doing the same thing every day for the next 50 or 60 years. It'll almost make you crazy.

Not having anything to do kills faster than actually having something doing.

And so, for me we need a better work/rest balance.

Not necessarily less work.

However, One's work should not cut so deep into one's time that he cannot effectively rest. And one should not rest so much that it cuts into your work.

Maintaining this work/rest balance keeps anyone healthy and happy for a long time.

Even if we automate everything today and there is abundant food, we will only reproduce to a point where we tip the scale.

This has been demonstrated by rats. Given abundance of food and no "work" searching for such food, the rats began to eat and multiply abundantly.

Yet their food never diminished but soon they turned on each other. It's a well documented experiment.

As much as I hate it, work is a very important part of our "health" as a specie.

The journey of Getting to the top is what makes the top meaningful.

Bitterness is what makes us appreciate sweetness. Without darkness, light will mean nothing to us.

So I beg to differ. Continued hardwork is not of the slave.

Slavery is when the choice of working or not working has been taken away from you.

I could be passionately working on my car from morning till night or on my farm under the sun and rain because I want to get abundant yields.

To someone else, it looks like slavery or suffering but it's something that makes me happy when I go back home to relax.

There are guys who go through the gym to get six packs and then there are those who go through surgery to get the same six packs.

Both get six packs but both have different stories, different meanings and when they look at their belly, they smile differently inwardly.

Tech goes beyond just building things. There's also the problem of adoption.

It's very hard. Like really difficult to get Nigerian establishments to try something new.

Sometimes it's only when they are FORCED before they try a new way.

Now as a tech bro, you can build the software but getting hospitals to adopt such software is almost impossible talk more of asking them to pay for it.

Then let her go.

You think having money stops a woman from sleeping around?

If someone wants to sleep around let them do it, it's not your fault.

Like who convinced men that it is their duty to do security guard for tōtō? So because you get married to a woman it becomes your duty to prevent her from cheating to the extent you need to spend money?

Something is wrong somewhere with our mentality. Something is wrong.

onehope:
Let no woman deceive you into marriage with this kind of lyrics oh. You must not be very rich to marry but don't try it as a struggling man. Except the woman is bringing money into the marriage. Everything is not money ke but by the time you cannot meet the needs of your wife for prolonged period, you go see shege for that marriage oh. Women do not know how to respect/honor broke men for long. And you are likely to share her with another man who can provide, that is if she decides to stay in the marriage. Even women themselves do not even know what they are capable of doing until they get to that bridge so do not rely on their vows or promises. You go faint when that same woman go say "I used to love you; or the way this marriage is going is not what I was expecting"

and then there are those men who have become convinced not to get respect from their wives or get sěx unless they provide

Don't you see that it is not you but the money that is being respected or fvcked?

Chai!

Again you lie.

No man has ever said he wants to get married without having a place to stay or some sort of income.

This is because he knows that families need to dwell somewhere and eat something.

What we are against is the "standards". A man must have a duplex to marry or a car or a range rover or pay private school fees or go on vacation every year or this and that.

Those are not what define marriage. If you love someone, you can stay in your one room apartment, eat your meals twice a day, send your kids to government schools and live conveniently.

Marriage should never be monetized

Again, you conveniently see how we both use "men" as providers and the women as receivers?

Now imagine this being the sole reason why you a woman marries you. Just to enjoy luxury and not suffer. Do you not see the selfishness?

QuinQ:
"Everyone knows" yet, like the OP said, the only considerations usually are "love", "chemistry", "compatibility", never what you say "everyone knows".
You'll get a better sense of the discussion if you think of yourself as a parent whose daughter says she wants to marry some poverty-stricken young man because they have chemistry, love. You can see clearly what she can't see because, as a parent, you live in the real world, not in La la land!

We have grown beyond our biology. Our muscles today do almost no work other than us hitting the gym.

Secondly, Saying women choose men for the sake of their children is a fat lie.

Women choose rich men for their own comforts. Which is selfish from the man's perspective because as soon as he lost his income she jumps ship for her own survival.

What we need is women who still wants to go out there and "gather" while their men hunts.

Not the partner that just wants luxury

QuinQ:
Your quarrel really is with biology and nature. Unlike men, women have very few children and for their genes to survive those children must survive to adulthood. instinctively their very first criterium in choosing a partner is someone who can protect (and provide for) their offsprings to adulthood. That is why they instinctively prefer a feared "bad" man. In the old days when parents picked their daughters' husbands their main criteria are usually that he come from a good family (good genes) and that he be able to provide for their daughter. And the marriages usually last

I agree with you boss.

We must never consider LGBT. Not as a right

solreb:
I disagree with the last sentence. You are free to practice polygamy in Africa and you do not need the approval of the West. We can't consider LGBT rights under any circumstances.

What amount is financial stability?

Elzazzi:
There is no timeline for starting a family. This are the kind of advise that pushes men to give birth to children without factoring finances. A man that isn’t financially stable shouldn’t bring in kids. Things happening in this country isn’t funny anymore. Children are more of heavy responsibility than blessing!

Recently a friend just graduated and he saved money from school to marry his wife.

I'm thinking of doing the same thing. He's a medical student who have spent 7-8 years in school.

He could wait another 7-10 years to become a consultant where he'll be making bigger sum to marry.

But time will be going then.

This is dependent on the standards you want your future family to live in.

Most men can start a family once they get their first job and learn to live within their means.

There are many Okada men out there living paycheck to paycheck with their families.

Same as many civil servants and farmers. This makes up the bulk of the population not the shining lekki apartment you see on TV.

But many young men today wants the luxury lifestyle they see on TV.

They want kids going to private school, kids that they "drive" to their schools, they can take vacation in Dubai once in a while or eat in luxury restaurants.

To achieve this, you'll want a little while and may not achieve it in this life.

My advice: if you're doing something now and you can afford to cater to a woman, one that can accept you now and live within your budget/ willing to work.

Save up and go start your family.

Don't wait for the glamour lifestyle shown on TV. Those things don't make up a happy family.

It's sickening.

They keep setting useless standards which are not standards.

Yesterday I was watching a video where a girl was saying as a girl, you have a boyfriend and you're still trekking, don't have an iPhone and still plaiting all back without having bone straight.

To such girls, this is what makes marriage or love.

It's not. People are being blinded by the illusion of money/luxury/standards and worst, they can't even tell the difference.

InvertedHammer:
/
Not so fast!

So Lekki is the only place to live and attend private school...Range Rover is the only car to drive...Every family must go on holiday to Dubai.

This is how some silly men put unnecessary pressure on their lives and die young from stress. Then the wife finds a more reasonable man and "chop" the remaining account balance in peace.

/

Everyone knows you need to pay rent.

Everyone knows you need to be able to afford necessities.

What we are saying is that this should not be the basis for choosing a partner.

A man/woman should not be loved simply because they can provide these necessities for you.

It's selfish and destructive.

LOVE someone first genuinely and then live according to your means. As you are, you have a means of survival already. Your partner should be able to love you at this point and be ready to survive at this level with you.

No one says you should not pay rent but you should not be loved solely because you are being fed off on.

QuinQ:
This is La la land talk. In the real world what makes a person happy is being able to well afford it when the rent is due. What makes a person unhappy is being stressed out when rent is due, and having to bring out a calculator, and inevitably end up dodging the landlord and frantically running around looking for a way to borrow money. That's what makes a person unhappy in the real world!

Again. A lost man

QuinQ:
No my dear, it is summation of a man living in the real world, not in La la land where you don't need anything to be happy. Even if you yourself don't need anything, your people do! You may not be embarrassed by your raggedy old car always parked next to your neighbor's shiny, but your family will be. It is called human nature. It will kill you inside having to explain to your child why they have to go to the poor school while all other neighborhood kids attend the better school. That's why men kill themselves trying to make money - not because they need so much themselves to be happy!

What does a woman do that makes a man feel like a man?

Mariangeles:
Let me just make the long story short; your guy will rather choose to be with his woman that makes him feel like a man than be with you.

And this is the summation of a man with no direction.

A man ruled by covetousnes. A family ruled by greed.

A family raising potential criminals and ritualists who will do everything to keep up with the Jones.

Nah man, I do not dream to have a family who think like this.

QuinQ:
I tbis not greed. It is that your wife and kids will be feeling embarrassed that your raggedy old car is parked next to your neighbor's shiny new car

Again feeling like a man is because of the sex.

Try telling a primary school boy with no sexual desire to sit with a girl and not his group of friends.

Mariangeles:
Let me just make the long story short; your guy will rather choose to be with his woman that makes him feel like a man than be with you.