₦airaland Forum

Just pray someone isn't trying to swindle you

$200,000 my azz

Mindfulness:
Much ado about nothing.

The daughter has some issues. Whether it is jealousy or not is subject to speculation but it probably is.

I wouldn't make her issues my own. I will gladly take the guest room and enjoy a night or two without the sound of snoring.


Just because I am married to her father, does not mean that I have the right or obligation to discipline her. She was 12 when I got married to her father and her mother is still alive. She is her parent's responsibility. And her jealousy issues are hers, I am too confident to compete against a teenager. Besides, what for and to what end? Let her sleep with her father on one bed. The girl does not see him as much as she was used to and as much as she would love to.

I don't know why people must make life so complicated. I consciously choose the easy path.

Happy Sunday! Relax!

God bless you

Mamatee07:
Honestly i'am disgusted at what some of these women are writing. I'am a feminist and i am not bitter so abeg don't judge all of us by the words of actions of some.

Too many selfish women here, as a woman with 2 step daughters and who grew up with divorced parents, OP you are over-reacting. The girl hardly ever gets to see her father and obviously she just misses him and wants to spend as much time as possible with him. You can't compare that with a child that lives with her father regularly. You yourself in the child's place, do you know what it means to see your Dad so infrequently and then you have to sleep in a strange house in a strange bedroom. All those reading sinister thoughts into this child's innocent act are sick. Simply take her back to her room when she comes and then you or the Dad should stay with her till she falls asleep. After a while she'll get to trust you and know she'll always have the security of her Dad in her life.

By the way no one is saying it shouldn't be corrected , people are just disgusted that some people are trying to make it like the child has an agenda.

Madam, I have respect for women but to be honest with you, I fear for the men who house these women I see in this section.

All is not well I tell you.

Based on what I have seen in the section, I can as well say many grew up in homes where love and bond holds no grain of substance and that we you these bitter elements around here. I can't say much because Nigerians mostly don't love each other and little wonder in my school days after answering a call from my sister, she said " I love you" and I replied "I love you too" My then roommate felt disgusted and shocked on hearing that. He said how can you tell you sister "I love you"?

I took pic at the airport with my sister and hugged her from behind. Till date, people are asking if that is my sister or am I sure she is my sister? Well, that is how we roll where I grew up and I can't speak for others.

Miami11:
It makes sense now because she has at least told us the circumstances, after confusing us lol,

I think posters should be upfront with valid information from get go.

I didn't the update o.

It's only when you aren't there that you would feel wow about it. My brother, nothing there like someone said.


I blew mine though and I learned some even harder lessons from that experience. I am building all over again.

Miami11:
It makes sense now because she has at least told us the circumstances, after confusing us lol,

I think posters should be upfront with valid information from get go.

oh really? Make I check am.

Miami11:
The story now does not even make sense because poster has changed details, making all the responses null,

Well if she is sick, that is someway ok

If she is afraid she needs reassurance,

well, she knows better already and I guess she has seen where is made a mistake. If this got to front page, she would be roasted alive lol.

RiloKiley:
Hmm
Well maybe I should continue reading first. The lady has added some new info. I honestly didn't see anything wrong in the girl's action, and its not like she's there all the time.

added new info to appear righteous incase this gets to front page I guess lol.

WiLdFLame:
D future husband of my online aunti naughtynaughty ke?
hope say u get money and poron nla?

Lol... money is good.

Timbuktou:
Nairaland women, some of the most unfeminine, selfish, brainless females life has to offer.

Look, veins2016, I understand it can be weird for you that this happens, but it's totally understandable your step-daughter would be like that. Perhaps, she had a close relationship with her father prior to his divorce and misses him. Perhaps, she used to sleep in his bed when he was still married to her mother and she misses that. Perhaps, her father is busy and that's the only time she thinks she can be with him, this is two days in a month we're talking about here.

You can handle this lovingly like you would like your own daughter to be treated if roles were reversed. No need to blow a gasket unless you suspect some hanky-panky. Good luck.

the kind of women that crawl here are some of the most selfish I have ever seen around

sickstars:
I kno but it all depends on ow u handle d situation

A loving heart to heart talk will do

Op sounds like she wana rip off d little girl's head

Cant u feel d aggression in her posts

you really tried o. You are still on this? I know their type around here. Is this not same place where over 70% would support a DIL for slapping her MIL? There is a thread as far back as 2011/2012 and even say the MIL should pack out of her son's house.

Same place where people don't see anything wrong for DIL to not show love to her MIL after taken care of her before and after child birth?

So many and so many things crawl here I tell you.

Just hang around on a day where a thread would be created in which involves MIL and DIL and see venoms being spilled.

You would imaging the kind of hatred they have towards their MIL, a fellow woman like they of which they will grow old like her and their own children will eventually get married which they wouldn't want their DIL to treat them by same yardstick

RiloKiley:
@bold
You must have a good heart.
Probably cos u have been in a similar situation. The situation certainly doesnt warrant the kind of seriousness some people here are bringing to it.

that's because there are too many bitter women in this section. This is just a tip of what crawls around here. Others are still in their cave and would be out like vampires at night.

Only a few are matured and reason from all angles before they make a post.

Dragovich:
Honestly, I never thought of my parents to be over-protective, until I spent a few days at a friend's house. It was then I realized that I've never been allowed to enjoy my teenage years and emancipate myself. I'm 20+ and in my final year in the University, but my parents (especially my dad), are extremely controlling. Apart from the constant phone calls, they still treat me like I'm a five year old. My dad hardly ever let's me drive, and even told me that he feels embarrassed if neighbors see me driving. The best I can do in this regard is to sometimes "steal" the car. Also, they are both obsessed with what other parents think about their parenting skills. Everytime we have visitors or we visit someone, he always tries to speak to me harshly as if trying to show off his strictness to other parents. I feel so disrespected and trapped. While other parents of my friends allow their kids drive, give them responsibilities, and a certain sense of freedom, I stuck with these helicopter parents that are always hovering over my life trying as much as possible to make me not to have any form of independence. I'm really beginning to hate them. Please what can I do abt this?

man, it's terrible. My mum was over protective when she as alive and I can tell anyone that it's a disaster to take such position because the child will not be able to stand on his own when you are not there. When she died, it was a HUGE problem for most of US. do whatever it takes to break away from that chain and I am glad you realised this earlier than many out there.

but do it in a respectful way.

odomat:
Come to living faith church tmr @ canaanland ota with ur cv and other credentials. Its biz and career breakthrough service and u wl secure a permanent job. Its d blessing of the lord that maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it. My honest advice

are you coming tomorrow? Nice. I stay just stone throw.

But on a more serious not to the OP, the country's economy is the cause and not spiritual ish. Many people have been losing their jobs in MILLIONS

naughtynaughty:
what is dis1 saying.. change wetin? Apc?

I am ur future husband... don't u gerrit

naughtynaughty:
abeg don't mention my name again in dis typpa dirty talk















U dunno if my future hubby is on nairaland

how come you are reading my mind? please change.

cococandy:
You're the one seeing aggressiveness where there's none.

I simply said put a stop to it by no irrational or extreme method order than telling her she's too told to sleep with them.

But you went on an emotional rant labeling me harsh and saying I wouldn't do that if it as my child.like you know me. You don't know me so pls I didn't appreciate that.
Did you read your first post quoting me? If one didn't know better they'd think I suggested the man disown his daughter from your righteous response to it.

FYI I'm quite capable of having divergent opinions with someone else civilly.

I just get irritated when goody-two-shoes like you can't pass your opinions without trying to make the other person look bad.
Don't play victim now.

And have good day.

okay you win

cococandy:
No I've not had my own child.
When I do, she won't be sharing a bedroom with us past a certain age.

When you have yours, you can share your bed with her until she turns 21. Then you can start teaching them at that age since 14 is too young for them to learn.

Good for you that stopped quoting me.
First quoting me to yarn rubbish now you're chickening out.

Madam, I didn't chicken out. I am only avoiding a case where this will turn into dirty fight/battle cos you and I will never agree on this subject which is already so glaring.

Our perspective is widely varied as we are both looking at it from different angles, which are right, only that you feel it's big issue while I feel it's simple.

You feel the best approach is being aggressive to it while I feel otherwise.

So you see where we both stand? Good. We are far apart as far as this subject is concerned.

cococandy:
The angry undertone and anything else you're reading is in your head.
Call a spade a spade when you see it.
If one can walk out their own child for invading their privacy at bed time, why would you assume that them doing it to their step child is out of hatred for the child?

That's how unrealistic folks like you make step-parenting an uphill task for some women because any correction they give to a stepchild is misinterpreted out of the bias of your own hearts and nothing else. They can't do anything right because jugdy judgy people like you will be around to spout rubbish.

I'm sure that nairalander's step-son doesn't share a bed with her and the father. (Except he's a toddler)

Pls take several seats. You guys aren't making any sense.

As you can see, I didn't bother quote you anymore and advise you do same. Have you had your own child since you got married? Please come back and share your experience when you do. In the mean time, I give you same advise: "take several seat and you don't make sense to me"

sickstars:
Dats why if any lady knos she cant love any child dats nt her own as tho the child is her own

Such a lady shd do away with single fathers !

There is nairalander, not a Nigerian though, who shows so much love on her stepson. OMG! That lady is DAMN complete in all ramification. You would think the child is hers. She has had to take care of that boy for more than 2 years and she just had her own child last year.

What do you think a good man will do to such a woman? How would the child react when he sees his mother in the future? I don't know why people just feel they are above every other humans when both will be buried in same ground.

Just imagine! I am not saying the girl in question is doing something right, she may not even be aware that it is wrong and we do not know her relationship with her dad prior to the coming of the OP who seem threatened by her presence lol.

Simple education and heart to heart talk in a friendly manner will solve this. Is there anything bad if she propose to spend time with the girl and make her fears disappear, cuddle her etc? At least both her women! a perfect chance for her to win the father's heart even more. BUT NO, she feels threatened and challenged.

sickstars:
Do u mind her?

She started calling me names

Over a child dats ur own husband's blood na wa for sum women

A child froma broken hme u cant show her love?
considering d same blood flows in ur own kids vein same with d girl!
Omo any child in my own care is good as my own

Wud love d child i love my heart

I wud take it as fun imagine me nd my hubby tryin to run to make love in anoda room d running d tip toe things gettin to d guest room closing d door laughin at ourselves gettin down to business it sounds fun to me


I love to turn situations to favor me


Op is just a bitter woman! Competition with a 14 yr old ur husband's daughter madness!

I just had to agree to their madness m nt in d mood to insult today or argue deep dunno why

My dear, I didn't even respond to mentions. I have made my point clear. It's the OP's headache and not mind.

Any small mistake, she will eventually involve the mother of the girl and I am sure NO NAIRALAND will be there when it happens.

HateU2:
Because people are afraid to talk about sex. I wanna know more about it. It broke up my relationship. I waanna know why it's so important.

You can know more by getting books to read about it. Not many know as much as you expect them to know. I haven't had much sex in my life but that does not mean I don't know more than those who have been with over 100 women, I am nowhere near 1/4 of that. However, I was interested in knowing why and how to satisfy a woman which isn't readily available anywhere and out of fear that most women will cheat on you if they met better performer than me.

I had to start reading and learning. I bought a book back then that thought me a lot about female sexuality and I even had to past the knowledge to a friend who has been with more women than I have had. So you see? Most just brag and brag and it's statistically proven that only about 5% of women population actually experience orgasm and the majority fake it! It's that bad despite all the noise guys make around. So what could be wrong? Misconception and misinformation is the cause one which is when a woman feels pains, most guys think she is enjoying it.

I like your outspoken display and you would hardly have any problem with someone like me BUT you would need to be careful how you go about it as a Nigerian and as you can see in the question to this quote, Nigerian guys are not used to a woman openly discussing sex or sexuality issues. The dude, like many others, would term someone like you spoilt or too loose.

I don't like ladies who are like wood or don't like talking about sexual issues.

If women could be allowed to talk about their sexuality openly, it will solve many problems.

Another issue is case of having huge cokk, thinking that does the magic most times. Another problem is one caused by pornography and their stars--they are just "acting" what you wanna see or hear.

I could go on and on.

All the same, it's good to talk about sex but many Nigerians are not used to lady talk about it openly, thus why women bottle up.

LastProphet:
respect

Thank God you see what smart mind sees. let others keep advising the op to do otherwise

sickstars:
Ok thats for u but make her ur frnd let her b able to trust u cos if she does she wud listen to u
Advise her a 14yrs old shdnt b hard to handle just let her b u can b her second mum

D way u sound its like u dont like her u just accepted her cos she is ur husband's daughter

Dont marry a man who u cant tolerate his kids !

U will av a problem there

Just let dat girl feel at hme please op

U not even considering her heart

Mehn m too soft i myt nt b hard like u sha

The emboldened is one of the major reason for my earlier post. Just imagine the angery undertone her post and those of others around here and which is why I said if it were her own child it would be a different story. Hiding under the pretense that she is 14 year old ish. She does not like the girl in question and it's very obvious for discerning mind. It's very obvious from the tone of her post.

I know a certain nairalander who adores her stepson such that you would wonder if she was the real mother. I won't be surprise to see that boy grow up to call her his mother.

This something friendship can solve but hey... hatred and disdain has overtaken over back to back.

Olasco93 has given you best advice be careful how you go about this thing, otherwise, what may come afterwards will you shock you to marrows. Mothers are very protective of their offspring and as a woman, you should know better.

It's

cococandy:
My 14 year old daughter will not sleep on the same bed with me and my husband.

It's silly and absurd.

Jealous ko jealous ni.

Have you people no boundaries?

I don't dispute boundaries but what I am saying is that it's a VERY simple case that can easily be solved but the OP is already so worked up about the whole thing.

You lied about your daughter and I know if such should happen, you won't use such strong words to describe her act. You would even pet her and talk to her mildly.

But here you are advocating some brash measures to be carried on another's child, which I do not find pleasing.

Note that I am not supporting the girl doing it but someone of her age does not act that way without a reason.

Giuseppe111:
Why isn't this on front page? We need stuff like this on there.

the fundamental rule of a front page worthy thread is that it must accumulate 3 pages, though these days the rules has been changed.


What the OP should is tell people to share and keep sharing and that way, it will gradually snowball virally for people to notice it.

cococandy:
I'm even more surprised some posters will advice someone to try walk on eggshells around such a silly outrageous situation.

you women amaze me and get jealous at the slightest chance while being defensive if the table was turned.

Would you use such negative words if the person involved was your daughter?

Do you know the relationship between the said girl and her dad prior to getting married to the OP?

The OP is angry because the girl isn't her child and I am more than 100% sure she won't be this angry if it were to be her child. Like someone advised, this line could make or mar her place in the man's heart. If I were the man, she sure would lose her place in my heart, Reason being that I won't see her own daughter as a "step" whatever.

It's a very simple thing but jealousy would make you women complicate things.

It's highly based on the relationship she had with her father, well bonded, before the divorce.

Graceland1:

you have a message. check your email.

Graceland1:
Was it not the same channels tv one of its presenters was caught live on air blowing kisses last year? Isorrait!

replied.

Graceland1:
Thanks. I couldn't explain how I feel. Each time I try to pour out my heart in writing, I become speechless. Thanks for helping.

Are you married?

katyamizotta:
Ive a help. She closes at six, drops my kid with my cousin who leaves nearby and i pick up my kid from my cousin's house on my way home from work.
The maid, she tries, but hubby cant eat what i didnt cook, and whatever the help couldnt do i have to do. It once got to the point where i serve meals on the dining and go the the kitchenette to eat to avoid dinner discussion of which chores werent done

@Faniran i will definitely add a nanny and maybe another help.

@Jahbless i think i would consider your vibrator.

@thorpido please advice the singles. Ive learnt the hardest way.

The chore bit may seem trivial but when your constantly reminded its disturbing and distracting.

so sorry about your plight ma'am

benjamytes:
Sold dis morning..
Tnks bro

congrats