₦airaland Forum

sarang60:
I don’t have any worst because in my opinion all the people I Stan are FANTABULOUS.

Lol this girl

Do you guys have a best and worst actor and actress?

JennyKadry2:
Will do. We don't have that issue here. Thank God but I refuse to work without the appropriate PPE. Fire me if you must

I don't blame you, important to know your rights

JennyKadry2:
Nice to see you are well and ok. We are keeping safe here as much as I can as per front line worker. Too many deaths in the world right now .

You guys are heroes, hoping you’re receiving adequate protection wherever you are, I know a lot of governments are failing their front line workers

Please take care of yourself as best you can

JennyKadry2:
The one and only. Ibikaye....How could I forget my Ibikaye ....still in the UK?

Ah so it’s you

Nice to see you! It’s been so long, hope you’re well and keeping safe

Yup I’m still in the UK

JennyKadry2:
The same Nigerian celebrities telling us all to come home that Nigeria is sweet all run out to have their Children in the US. Who no like better thing?

Are you the original jennykadry? If so, it’s so nice to see you around dear (not sure if you remember me lol)

sarang60:
Good night from my beautiful bento set and I

Watched a show with him in it recently, he was a good representation of the anime character

cococandy:
Entitlement .

Bingo

Romangalactic:
Okay, so in your opinion why do men find it hard accepting children their wives had from infidelity?

It's a horrible thing to go through, I can't be bothered to list why accepting it is difficult, it's pretty self-explanatory, anyone would find it hard...

The issue is despite it being so hard to them, why do a good portion of them so flippantly expect their wives to handle it any better

Romangalactic:
You like to dwell. Some other contributors were able to overlook my word choices and personal reasons and then went on to offer up good reasons outside finance or me believing it is a man's right to bring in a lovechild. There is no need to analyse words, sentences, and the foundations they set, you're not Maya Angelou.

Lol I answered the way I wanted and you'll be alright

Romangalactic:
If you take a moment to move past my word choices & sentences and maybe just try to explain why it's easier for women to accept a lovechild as opposed to men, you will begin to see what the OP is about.

Forget about me using finances as my reason. Lots of other people have brought up other reasons besides finance but you're stuck on my word arrangement.

Your word choices are essentially the reason why the thread exists in the first place, I'm responding to the foundation your words set

If I want to also engage in dialogue with other contributors, that's different

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdUiCJnRptk

One of the more 'original' K 'pop' songs. Jam

sarang60:
Nae Hong Jo

This is L from infinite right? I was obsessed with that Come Back Again song

“Dashi dorawa, dora wa dora wa”

rockstarB:
Money isn't enough. And my stance still remains that it is easier for a man to raise his love child outside marriage than a woman, and this is the reason a woman will pin the child on the man in the first instance.
...a man gets a woman pregnant outside marriage
...he tells his wife about it and she insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does she wants the child in their home.
...the man gets back to his babymama and raises the child outside his home.

Let's assume the same scenario for a woman
...she gets pregnant for a man outside her marriage.
...tells her husband about it and he insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does he want the child in their home.
...the woman gets back to the baby daddy... realistically if this happens, who is in a more favourable situation to raise a love child outside a marriage? A marriage in which the other partner doesnt want to be a part of the baby's life.
Infidelity is bad, but the result of a love child isn't same for a man and woman.
Neither of the partner should be forced into being a part of a love babys life, like you said it could be traumatizing and also lack of emotional preparedness.

I'm not focusing on debating which one is 'easier'

There's a difference between it being easier and 'acceptable', OP claimed that the man has the right to bring the child in just because he has money. The entitlement and double standard agenda is clear, the fact that he dismissed the importance of the role of the mother was the cherry on top

cococandy:
mine

take

Mariangeles:
Who suffers most at the end? The product.

Yup, I feel very bad for the children put in these situations

rockstarB:
Doesnt still make sense to me. There is nothing like maternity fraud. A woman sure knows shes raising her own child aside the case of hospital mix ups. A man shouldn't be made to believe he is his the father of a child when he isn't.

I have acknowledged that both are terrible dear

Scenarios:

- Man cheats and has a child outside of marriage
- Man brings child home and makes family (who may or may not be prepared) take the child in
- Ignoring all the psychological and emotional trauma aside, OP thinks this is acceptable because the man can provide financially and the role of mother is disposable enough to just toss in replacement nurturers like a lightbulb

Even though the woman isn't being deceived into a thinking the child isn hers, a child who she may not be emotionally/mentally prepared to take in is being thrust upon her, the child is also a reminder of her husband's infidelities...I'm not necessarily saying it's better or worse, but is it she suffering THAT much less than the man's scenario like some people are making out..?

- Woman cheats and is carrying a child that doesn't belong to her husband
- Woman doesn't tell husband and the husband is unknowingly taking care of another person's child for God knows how many years

Very traumatizing thing to experience for the husband, many will argue that it's worse because he is being deceived for...a longer period of time? And that time and money would've been spent on a child that isn't his unknowingly. Is the woman not also using her resources on a child that doesn't belong to her? The difference is she's just forced to face it right there and then

Like I said, they're both terrible scenarios, but perceiving one as less terrible doesn't necessarily mean it is 'acceptable'

I feel like a lot of psychological implications are being dismissed, that's why some people think money is enough to just take care of everything (and I won't even go into how Nigerian men aren't these complete 'sole providers' that they keep saying they are online, that's another topic sha..because what if he doesn't have 'money'?).

Jelly rice

angelfallz:
Hmmmm interesting.
This is off topic but I'll still ask you;
Do you also have this same mindset when men are:
1. the victims of rape
2. the victims of domestic violence
3. the victims of gender bias

Nope

payperpost:
chai! the food look like prisoners food, why is the rice like that? if Poco see the your kitchen and old skul pot ehn, you go hear am, and you come dey eye our only Dyt?
Bros sit well ! shift small abeg.

the rice sweet to standard abi?

We get it...you're a troll

Lol won't you rest even on Eid?

And poco doesn't attack people's pictures for no reason, it's usually in response to some attacking her first

rockstarB:
It doesnt make sense for any woman to pin a child of mr A on mr B. There is no rationality behind that. It's totally absurd. No man deserves that, at least not without his knowledge

angelfallz:
Why don't you have sympathy for Nigerian men who are victims of paternity fraud?

OP reeks of entitlement, it's terrible no matter which gender does it, but OP is using technicalities to dismissively rationalize why one is more 'palatable' and therefore 'acceptable'. A good portion of them have this mindset so whenever they get cheated on or there's paternity fraud, I just...look lol

I won't say there's absolutely no case that I have and will have sympathy for, it's just that whenever a case comes to my attention, empathy is rarely part of my immediate emotional response, knowing how they'd be if the shoe were on the other foot lol

Imagine what the OP is trying to 'rationalise'...

I generally have no sympathy for Nigerian men who are victims of partnerity fraud, ride on daughters lol

It's difficult to answer this question without examples

[quote author=Dyt post=89917482][/quote]

andrewtosin:
Thanks dear
Waiting for you...

So thoughtful, whoever ends up with will be the luckiest person in the world, I'm jealous

andrewtosin:
This is for dinner

Cc Ibkayee

Nice, hope you enjoyed it

Jullima:
Argh! The amount of times you hear “you don’t know you’re now a married woman” I don’t know, like they expect you to be a completely different person after you say “I do”

Lol exactly, and it will be for the most ordinary things

Karleb:
Married women hate it when you tell them they can't do something because they are married women and I don't know why.


I'm talking from experience.

Nigerians have a habit of fitting married women's behaviours into a rigid mental box of how they feel they should act and it can be very...'limiting' to say the least, that's probably why they hate it

@OP
What you said gives the impression that you are suggesting that smoking with her could be something more than just a normal, innocent smoke session. Smoking can be a social activity, maybe she literally just wanted to smoke with an acquaintance....or not, I don't know, it's not that easy to tell just by your writeup

Dyt:
Ese ma

These your pictures

Dyt:
The both of you should free me oo

Happy Sallah sha

payperpost:
try sharing your heart, it's a great way to stay safe, when a lady broke my heart into 20 some years back, I shared the 20 pcs to 20 ladies , and another break the one with her, I didn't waste time at all, it was 7 pcs , I picked them and shared to 7 pretty girls .

and that continue till date making my heart unbreakable, I'm now a stainless steal hearted man

Lol is this the theme of this Sunday? Share your heart ko

Dyt:
Now this is it

Ibukun, Tosin comes here cos of you and I am sure he's always like a fly petching on your sugar everywhere

Can you give him a chance?
Share your hearts as you share your food

Lol see this one