₦airaland Forum

TheDepressed:
Had to use a new account to tell it all.
Please find it interestingly to read and advice.

I was married in Feb 2023, I have two kids (a 5yr old daughter and a 2yr old son).
I own 2 houses ( one I built from scratch and another I inherited).
Long story short my finances are a battle after another, that's the best term I can describe it with.
So in Feb 2025, I had an argument with my wife and I angrily gave her a smack, she in turn angrily went to the living area and smashed in pieces our wedding photo exclaiming the marriage was over, that I should take her back to her father's, which I did angrily.

before we got to the juncture, my wife would randomly request to go to her mother's for a few days, sometimes week and one time almost a month. Things started to get worrying for me when she onetime while at her mother's told me, she was searching for a school for my daughter at her mother's. I was shocked as we have never had this discussion, she started to complain about the distance of our home from town where she can do businesses, this also came as a shock but I felt I was loosing my wife presence in my home, so I sat her down and asked to talk about everything happening and the way out? She mentioned we should go rent a house in town. Again I was shocked but after much enquiry and advices consign the rental matter, I obliged and we rented a 2bedroom apartment in town that is a 15mins drive to her mother's compared to our previous home a4bedRM that would take 1hr30mins to her mom's ( it's important to note that, through out her random stay at her mom's, her mother never one day called me to ask if I and my wife had issues at home that made her stay this long at her place, she never asked infact neither I nor she call the other on phone just for checkups)

So back to the home fight....that same night I moved her to her father's ( because her parents are separated, my wife's mom had 6girls for my father in law, the man did one away match and boom, the match birthed a boy, so MIL moved out of the marriage and hugged the streets) , that same night she moved to her mother's.
After a day or two, the loneliness hit me again, I felt I had done something really big and wrong, so I immediately went into apology mode. I begged my father in law, he said I had no problem I should go take my wife home, that it's one of those things in marriage if not controlled maturely. So I went to her mother's and the reception was hostile, I left, I tried several phone calls, they would ring out or she would end the call angrily once hearing my voice, I went back to the house, one tim she took her handbag and left the home immediately I arrived, another time she threw insults at me openly. I really tried to beg this woman to please let my wife come home.

I turned to my wife, she said "I should bring persons with me to come beg her mother", I found this a little too much to ask, would I call my kinsmen to come beg a woman? I didn't even pay my bride price to her, so months past and it became 10months my wife has being outside my home and 10months I didn't see my kids only video calls.

Well on the 10th month being Nov/Dec last year, I received a call from my wife, I could hear her crying and I was sure I hear the word children but my background was noisy. So I excused myself to a quiet corner and called back and that's when she told me her mother just passed away, I mean died and I should come take the kids.

I was busy at work so I sent someone to pick my kids up and take to my mother's.
So I called a meeting to speak about how I'm not seeing my kids enough ( mind you my wife suddenly distant from me, she don't even pick my video calls to see my kids, she insults my family and myself, she' just became strange unknown and weird). So after all agreements were mad consign the kids and their welfare, the meeting was pushed further to attempt settlement. For me I tot my wife has being outside too long and I won't lie, I miss my wife and having a full noisy home by the kids but this woman 10months after is not remorseful or missing her husband.
So she was asked firstly and she said I should go take my bride price back and I was asked and I said I will take the bride price back but as I write, I'm yet to do xo.

My reason for this write up is because a few days ago, my father in law called me and said the mother in law date has being fixed for this month. He called very late at night and I said I'll think and call him in the morning.
The next morning I called and said we'll your daughter doesn't want her marriage anymore, I don't see why I should be at the funeral plus I don't want a case where she would be there with her new man, if any. I don't want embarrassmeny or weird feelings but if I have anything to support I would send before the time.

So family Nairalander, would you support this kind of woman ( both the daughter and mother) with your finances?
Or would you go as far as attending?

Ps: my suppose wife did not call me to inform me of the funeral date but her father did. I'm sure she must have told her father she doesn't care if I am aware or not. She suddenly hates me out of the blue and today' makes it a year she's being outside and our marriage together lasted 2yrs.

Everyday I'm depressed, indoor for days, sometimes cry and sometimes can't sleep out of wild thoughts.
She has an elder sister, that till date has never called me even if to insult me for hitting her sister in the face.
I can't believe I have lost my marriage over a slap.

Reading your posts it seems you still don't get it yet.
Your gender politics is all screwed up based on some of the things you have written in this thread, like "put money on her daughter's head".
You physically assaulted your wife. (You say it was the first time but that's rarely the case esp. given your gender politics). Either way it's a really big deal. And it's odd you wouldn't even do the minimum of going with someone to talk to the mom. "I found this a little too much to ask, would I call my kinsmen to come beg a woman?" - more of your chauvinistic gender politics.

Everything that stems from this is your fault because of your inability to control your temper and your hands.
And it seems you still don't fully seem to understand that fact.
As soon as you understand you are not the victim, you'll be better for it.

But, it may be a good time to work on yourself if you really want to fix your family. Think through some of the things you believe and why.
If not, that's ok. Just find someone who believes and whose parents believe that smacking/beating them/their daughter once in a while is OK.

I see the plusses and minuses of attending the Funeral.
If you don't go, you should probably arrange for your kids to go and say goodbye to their grandmother. Seems she was a good person to them.

bayelsaowei:
It has started happening. Truths have started emerging.

All our resident black nigeriam nairalanders who have blindly and impulsively supported every aggressive ICE action should start bowing their heads in shame..

We told them ICE is awfully led by incompetent humans..they say No..they say folks just like to put themselves in harms way and that ICE is not to be blamed when those folks are either injured, maltreated or killed.

Truths are surfacing..

The support by black Nigerians esp. those who live in the US is the most shameful and troubling part of this.
They someone think they'll be spared because....

These officers lied even though they knew they was a recording of this incident. They felt their institutional power would overcome the truth.
In this case it didn't. But, imagine the other cases where it may have.

raumdeuter:
Like the Ann Selzer polls that told you Trump was losing Iowa

Unfortunately for the US, posts like this are what count as intellectualism in MAGA world.

Another case where ICE shot someone, lied about it, tried to charge them with made up lies, then had to drop the charges.

raumdeuter:
I think everyone agrees that 15 is a minor, But you are not 15, you are over 50 trying to act like a 15yr old on the web

Now back to percentages, if you cant work out percentages, what else cant you

3x vs 70x which is greater?

So, this is what someone who conisders 15 a minor would write online?

and she has the mileage of a 15-16yr old almost cha-cha tear rubber

But tpia looks very young for her age and she has very low mileage too, way lower than most teenagers on NL

raumdeuter:
They sure understand how percentages work unlike you

Before you get to percentages maybe you can work on the age of consent.
aka.. 15 is a minor.

Why you trollin' like a [b]witch? Ain't you tired?
Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A minor

As Republican Propaganda collides with real world governance.
This is just year 1.

budaatum:
Remember how Biden kept saying the economy was great but most didn't feel it in their pockets so voted dump?

I'm so glad however you included the following, because it should make you wonder about next January when the comparison would be with this January.

I'm not sure they even understand how inflation works.
They just parrot talking points.

benalvino3:
He has to use that because he does not want to seem like he was supporting a man who was accused of sleeping with minors and taking photos of himself and prostitutes while meeting with the actors his father connected him with for cash.

This post.
Mr. "I impregnated a teenager" talking to Mr. " mileage of a 15-16yr old almost cha-cha tear rubber". 🤮🤮 (and these are directly from posts they both made in this forum).
I can't.

But this is MAGA, that's why you can have the person most mentioned in the Epstein files pretend that he was going to release them when he ran for office.

I remember years and years ago(sarcasm) when Republicans and people like Raumdeuter wanted to throw the Biden's son (who had no role in government) under the jail for smoking crack/cocaine in the past.
Republicans and hypocrisy are like 1 and 2.

https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/rfk-jr-boasts-hes-not-scared-of-germs-because-he-used-to-snort-cocaine-off-of-toilet-seats/

cococandy:
Add that to the other million things that we should be outraged about but can’t actually afford to. everyday it’s something so heinously unheard of that we have no more feelings to spare or we risk burning out. Exactly as they designed it!

Every day.
In any other administration, this in itself would be a major scandal and force someone to resign and/or be prosecuted.
Here it's another Tuesday.

The jury system seems to be acting as a firewall against the Trump.

President Trump has increasingly tested how far political retribution can stretch into the justice system, but his efforts to prosecute his perceived political opponents during his second term have repeatedly fallen short.

Why it matters: Federal grand juries almost always return indictments — rejecting them only five times out of more than 165,000 cases nationwide in 2013 , according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

Prosecutors need only 12 of 23 grand jurors to secure an inducement, underscoring the gap between Trump's political threats and the legal system's response.
The White House referred Axios' request for comment to the Justice Department, which did not immediately respond.

https://www.axios.com/2026/02/11/trump-justice-department-grand-jury-political-enemies

Republicans have really really lost the plot.
Here is a Republican Senator arguing against the first amendment.

This video

1.) The agents say,"It's time to get aggressive and get the fk out, they are trying to box us in". (Another video shows there is no cars in front of the ICA Agents.
2.) They then say, "We are going to make contact; we are boxed in" (Again the video shows that there is no car in front of them)
3.) The video then shows the agent jerking the steering wheel to the left to hit the car on his left.
4.) The agents say, "We've been struck" (seemingly trying to make a false audio record forgetting what they previously said, pretending that they are not the ones who initiated contact, ultimately forgetting they are being video recorded (or maybe not caring as they may believe they may just get rid of the body cam recording)).
5.) After this, they jump out and start shooting the driver of the car (I think they shot her 7 times).
6.) They then go arrest the women they shot, who is in her hospital bed, on made up charges.
7.) The agents who shot her are congratulated by other agents and ICE command like Bovino who can see the video. (they released the texts)
8.) The agents now in court, scared to lie in court knowing the video is coming out, drop the charges on the women they shot.

I'm amazed this isn't a bigger story. It's cold blooded attempted murder.
I'm further disappointed in the Democrats and the media for this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnI96bFWlBI&t=3s

bayelsaowei:
What scatters my head is how they (ICE and DHS) with one voice try to cover up their crimes... from those in leadership position to thier foot soldiers.

Its pathetic.. never seen anything like this.. even in Nigeria, when the NPF or any other government agency messes up, officials are relieved of their jobs and apology is tendered to the public.

But in the present day US, the FG defends brazen acts against its citizens. It really baffles me.

Its almost like I am living in an alternate world.. many Trump supporters would need therapy after Trumps expiration of his tenure.. because they wont recognize themselves anymore..

Anyone who watches that video and thinks what happened is ok is broken.
The scary thing is how thoroughly and brazenly they lied and had their superiors lie about an attempt to murder someone.
Without the video, they would still be lying.

The Federal government has given ICE Agents carte blanche to murder people and then lie about it when they know the truth.
Everyone should let that sink in. Our government is OK with ICE attempting to murder US citizens at will.

Further, ask yourself if they lied about this, that was recorded, what else have they been doing and lying about.
I credit those risking their lives to record these encounters now.
Without those recordings I'm scared to imagine the depravity ICE agents would be visiting on people.

bayelsaowei:
They just exposed their machination of using the DOJ as an attack dog on political adversaries by the executive.

Its just openly pathetic and shameful.. reminds me of how the nigerian FG uses the EFCC as its attack dog on policial enemies.

Republicans yelled weaponization as the Garland DOJ and state DOJs got indictments through Grand Jurys and won unanimous jury verdicts on Trump.

But this is what political weaponization looks like. Going through 3 or 4 grand juries (grand juries where the bar is really low and it still only takes a majority of the jurors to convict) just to try to get an indictment and still failing. And for the cases that barely got through the grand jury what is the probability that they would get a unanimous Jury verdict(with a much higher standard of proof) to convict.. 0%.

It is shameful and until Republican leaders start telling the truth to their uneducated voters it will look worse more and more like Nigeria if not worse.

Just saw this video of the ICE incident with Marimar Martinez.
Every ICE Agent in that car should be prosecuted for attempted Murder.
And everyone who tried to lie and cover it up should be disciplined and prosecuted as well.

Ice is out of control. And whoever the heads of the agency defending them are also out of control.
This version of ICE needs to be shut down.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnI96bFWlBI&t=3s

bayelsaowei:
Pam Bodi is heading straight to her own destruction..

I feel for her.. she like every other DJT supporter has to lay down their integrity and reputation and sacrifice it on DJTs altar to worship him as their god and personal saviour.

She is gone completely. Her eyes would only become clear when Trump is gone..

See a DOJs response below. Shame!!!..

This story has been out for a while.
Absolutely insane that any adminsitration would hire this guy.
But a lot of things that Trump is doing is absolutely insane.

So, in every other time you may be right.
But we are in such a deep moral abyss that I don't think anything will happen to her.

Look at the way the UK is dealing with the Epstein fallout vs the US.
We have lost any semblance of morality or moral leadership.

cococandy:
It doesn’t speak well of us but it’s who we are. That’s why we are the way we are.

A successful Trump government will turn America into a country where big men are kings who can’t be challenged.

Sick men can get away with assault. Victims will be judged for being in the wrong place and wearing the wrong outfits or not being respectful enough. Kids will be blamed for acting too fast for their age.

Women’s bodies will be policed and criminalized while sick men can freely indulge in whatever vices they crave with no consequences.

Manufacturing organizations won’t have to abide by any standards if those standards get in the way of fast profit-lives and safety be damned.

Have you heard anything more Nigerian than the description above? It’s not surprising he appeals to the degenerates amongst us.

Unfortunately, you're right.
Our leaders are a mirror of what values we have.

cococandy:
The pathetic republicans on this thread would rather have thousand child moorlesters become president before they support a qualified woman. That’s the kind of men they are. And don’t get me started on the women that support them. Emba rrassing disgusting lot.

This thread is a mess. It doesn't speak generally well for Nigerians that so many people are so open here in their comfort for Epstein, what he represents and those who supported him.

benalvino3:
When are you going to marry that dude?

raumdeuter:
The black males I roll with..

Here is one of the black males Raumdeuter rolls with.
They pretend they are at the club on Fridays together.

Jokes.

cococandy:
Add this to all the ways he’s been using his personal army of goons to terrorize blue states. I hope you guys that support him from bumferck red states are ready for the when the shoes goes on the other foot!

But Obama was divisive 🙄

Just wildly illegal.

benalvino3:
I asked chatgpt me and bayelsaowei who is more obsessed with trump. And if it wasn't for you guys, we (raumdeuter and I) would not be talking about Trump much.

The guy who has never stepped foot in the US and has 0 reason to be in the "American Politics Thread: Trump Is The 47th President!" is saying without people in the "American Politics Thread: Trump Is The 47th President!" thread he (who doesn't even live in the US) wouldn't be in the "American Politics Thread: Trump Is The 47th President!" thread talking about Trump, who is the main subject of the "American Politics Thread: Trump Is The 47th President!" thread.
Did I sum that up accurately?

Here's an idea, just leave and find a "I pretend to live in the USA thread" and maybe you wouldn't have to talk about Trump there.

The Besties Raumdeuter and Bemeruca are both Jokers.

raumdeuter:
Who is not racist to you? Did you not experience racism in London while stopping over. The racism people who lived there for over 50yrs did not

You went on a few hours visit to North Carolina and experienced racism

You live in Boston but get stopped and arrested by racist officers over 10 times

Something about you makes you a racism magnet

Maybe its not the racist, maybe your issue is internal

The great Intellectual Thinker Raumdeuter:

There is no Racism in the UK
There is no Racism in the United States
There is no Racism in North Carolina
There is no Racism in Boston
There is no sexism in Nigeria
And Donald Trump posting an image of the Obamas as Monkeys is not racist.

I've never seen a collection of Black Men who try to diminish Racism as much as in this forum. It's disgusting.
I'm 100% sure you have 0 black male friends in the US. As they would stuff you in a bag because of the way you speak.

raumdeuter:
Jesse Jackson about Trump

Democrats hate these videos.

BTW, around this same time Biden was getting the crime laws passed that the Democrat party now calls racist.pic.twitter.com/jNzeLXk03i

— MAZE (@mazemoore) February 8, 2026

A racist white man pretended not to be racist and fooled others to believe he wasn't racist in order to elevate his place in society... You don't say.. Color me shocked. /s
You do know there was a reason the KKK wore hoods. Because some were prominent people, lawyers, doctors, judges - respected people in their community and they didn't want people to know.

MAGAs post these things that betray their ability to deny reality in defense of Trump.
There is a deep deep broken than makes a Black man write post after post in defense of a clearly racist person.

bayelsaowei:
At least Temu Havard tells sane people that..

1. Increasing wealth honorably after leaving public office is both legal and ethical.

2. Increasing wealth whilst holding public office and using that same public office to establish deals to grow personal wealth (even that of family members) is both illegal and unethical.

You guys have left the issue around ethics and compliance, and rather arguing absurdities..

What Trump is doing, neither you nor Raumdeuter can try it at your various work places. You'd all lose your jobs the next day.

They all know this.
Having intelligent honest debate isn't what they are after.

Most normal people would be ashamed to argue the percentage of the corruption compared to your wealth is what matters. Not whether is was legal (made by selling AI chips which may affect US security while you were President or made by writing a book) nor how much you (4 Billion) .
So..
Steal 10,000 dollars when you only make 12,000 dollars a year; death penalty.
Steal and fleece people for 100 million when you are a billionaire, well that's a less percentage of your wealth than the person who stole $10,000 so it's all good.